Germán Magariños  



Argentinian maker of pocket-change, home-made splatter movies under the banner of Gorevision films as well as half-length, John Waters-esque trashy horror-comedies with silly characters, tranvestites, drugs, masks and ubiquitous prosthetic penises. The horror theme is really just an excuse to film a series of cheap action, gore, gay-themed trash, spoof and camp scenes, exemplified by his 'Poltergays' movies involving a Poltergeist rapist spirit abusing various trashy characters and Nazis with flying penises. The low-budget is not overcome in any way, and this scatter-brained and campy approach can only appeal to fans of silly, home-made, trash cinema.

Of Some Interest

Goretech: Welcome To The Planet Motherfucker  
Magariños ambitiously tries for a sci-fi post-apocalyptic spoof despite his pocket-change budget. I was expecting more home-made rubbish, but was surprisingly mildly entertained instead by all the silliness, spoofs and the fact that I never knew what was going to happen next. The world here is a hell on earth populated with violent gangs, no women, an evil emperor called Dr. Hell, and a very violent kung fu master. 'Han Sordo' is freshly rejected by his gay lover, beat up and sodomized by gangs, so he goes for some training by the master, who beats him up even worse and trains him with gangs of violent sodomites. There's an amusing training montage, more ripped-of music from Hollywood blockbusters, a bunch of cheap computer effects some guy probably created during his weekend, a giant robot fight, a bar with Star Wars alien musicians, a Star Trek logo, a talk with a friendly gentle version of the alien from Alien, improvised disco-fu, lots of fight scenes, some ending in splattery dismemberment, and the trademarked, tiring overuse of prosthetic penises, sodomy and male oral rape. The title is somewhat misleading since I expected much more gore, and it is witless, but if you approach this expecting cheap trashy silliness, you may be amused.

Worthless

Alan Smithee's Frankenstein  
Produced by Gorevision and filmed by 'Alan Smithee' as a 'lost film' in B&W. Frankenstein is experimenting with body parts and his uncle's ideas on regeneration while someone is on a rampage killing homosexuals. The 'police' are on the trail, while a fat man and his wife (a fatter man) entreat Frankenstein to help with his wife's looks and 'her' inability to conceive a child. Enter a series of trashy scenes involving sawing and rubbing of severed body parts in the name of science, lots of prosthetic penis shenanigans, a detective with homophobic nightmares, large effeminate men, penis stealing, and lots of gender confusion. Home-made John Waters trashy camp with little gore and lots of boredom. An accompanying piece is 'Alan Smithees Nosferatu' about a gay couple in a supernatural gay hotel managed by a weird vampire.

Goreinvasion  
Another no-budget Argentinian silly gore movie about an alien invasion of Jasons from Friday the 13th who chop up the locals and battle it out with a group of b-movie makers. Features scenes such as an actor in a monkey suit being raped by a rival production company, an irate 'artsy' cinematographer threatening murder with a fake gun, and abuse of a plastic baby doll with a big penis. Self-referential, with many references to other movies, and boasting a budget of pocket-change and the cheapest supermarket gore you can imagine, this movie knows how bad it is and makes fun of this fact but the laughs are scarce.

He Saw the Moon... and Bought a Cemetery  
What the hell was that? Let's see if I can describe this properly: A Russian leader of a Satanic cult is creating a super-race of beings emerging from the basement of a video rental store where all visitors get turned into creatures of evil such as werewolves, zombies, ghouls and punks, until Santo the Mexican wrestler comes to save the world. Somewhere in this mess, the movie squeezes in Nazis and Zionist Samurai (cue a ripoff Samurai scene with Jewish music in the background). Don't let the plot fool you though, this is a home-movie filmed in a living room and basement, featuring random rants and deep-thoughts by the 'Soviet Doctor', and several extremely cheap kill scenes in the basement involving penis chopping, strangling with intestines, and stabbing of a cardboard box (yes, really).

Holocausto Cannabis  
A medium-length movie so terrible in its amateurishness, I don't understand why it doesn't get the lowest ratings possible. The backdrop here is a group of mutants killing civilians in the name of an evil god Dagod, while two individuals fight back. But this is just an excuse to goof around in a home-made movie with the worst acting you can imagine, featuring one terribly cheap fight scene after another. Teenagers wearing masks are 'mutants', a civilian couple consists of two male teenagers in costumes having simulated sex, toy guns shoot using sound effects only, and the evil Dagod is portrayed by showing a distorted eyeball medical procedure while random footage of destruction, killing and lions eating a man are spliced into the movie. The gore is cheap, featuring a drill creating havoc inside oatmeal, plastic beheadings, and something that looks like cow livers pulled out of t-shirts.

LSD Frankenstein  
This one is so idiotically bad and silly it reminds me of a Chris Seaver movie, only the incoherency is so inconceivable it drifts into Fredric Hobbs territory. It's hard to extract a plot from this one, but it involves a cult of Dr Frankenstein who brings the dead back to life, controls people with his mind and performs experiments on his victims with a goal of dominating the world obviously, some aggressive ex-cop fighters that declare war on him, some metaphysical mumbo-jumbo, and an interview with a demented Dr Uri Geller who worships Nostradamus. Random inserted scenes include some animal-killing footage from shockumentaries, a spine autopsy, a scene of spiritual sacrifice where victims of Frankenstein are either killed or sodomized by the avenger, random psychedelia and kung-fu, and some lame fight scenes involving lots of gratuitous intestines and supernatural powers.

Profondo Trosso  
Another half-length home-made flick made with pocket-change and little spare time. This one is a 'lost classic' as directed by 'Franco Fellini'. It's another gay horror spoof by Magariños, this time on Italian slashers, featuring an elusive killer massacring the gay models at a photo-shoot studio. A victim's brother who works in law-enforcement investigates aggressively, but who is the killer, and, more importantly, who is a heterosexual? Features minimal and extremely cheap gore, except that the killer's preferred MO is butt-stabbing. And just to up the trash-factor gratuitously, the 'models' aren't beyond some gay necrophilia during mourning.

Sadomaster  
Argentinian low-budget dumb gore movie that tries very hard to shock. A gang of Nazis, racists, weirdo psychopaths in gas masks, and Mengele's daughter, all secretly led by an incumbent politician, manipulate and terrorize the city. One man decides he has had enough, steals a gimp suit from a porn shop and goes on a rampage. The random over-the-top splatter effects are cheap and lame but the makers liked them so much they repeated the same scenes in flashbacks, and the various shocks include raping a retarded man, beating up a Jew and urinating on a black baby. Also features the cheapest motorcycle chase scene with explosions you're likely to see.

Sadomaster: General Mayhem  
Aptly titled, this sequel ups the ante, nastiness and anarchy, but not the wit. The city is now in complete chaos, with several gangs of insane punks terrorizing the streets, and a fascist, anti-semite, racist president in power, with the help of 'Noriega', who has conflicting ambitions of his own. This time there are some crude satirical scenes including 'political discussions' about killing Jews, blacks and homosexuals in order to bring peace, the torture of a punk in a hospital bed on live TV with an encouraging reporter, news reports by Lloyd Kaufman about large octupses impregnating Republicans and the death of Obama, and so on. But this is all just a backdrop for scenes of violence and sex: The same intestine is used over and over for disemboweling people through their t-shirts, Noriega orally rapes every male in his vicinity leading to a final twist, there are gyrating half-naked women, spanking, lots of gimp masks and fake moustaches, penis chopping, rape with maggot-infested genitalia, and so on. Until Sadomaster appears and starts his own killing spree.

Zombie Apocalypse Now: A Zombie Hunter  
Magariños ups the splatter quota in another incoherent, slapdash of a movie, this one almost entertaining in its terribleness, inspiring Troma to pick it up. Let's see now... there's a bloodthirsty sleazoid of a zombie killer hired by the church to kill the evil zombies. He soon gets fired when his other pastimes are discovered and a doomed replacement is brought in while the zombie killer goes on a spree of random violence and shockingly perverse stunts. Then there's the Hostel ripoff scenes involving people paying for the opportunity to torture. These two randomly put-together elements serve as a backstory for an endless sequence of gore scenes involving the usual lame intestine-pulling that's been done a zillion times already, zombie killings, and torture scenes where people hack, saw, drill, rip, carve and bash their victims who don't seem to be much affected by it all. Also features a priest-zombie coupling.




© 2000- by Zev Toledano Table of Contents