Gore & Splatter



Many horror/slasher movies have generous seasonings of gore (e.g. Friday the 13th) but the movies listed here have gleefully excessive amounts of it. In other words, gore deserves top billing in these movies and is one of the first things you think of when these movies are mentioned. See also the many splatter/gore film-makers in the Table of Contents as well as the Shockumentaries.

Recommended

Bagman - Profession: Murderer  
A 20 minute splatstick worthy of Peter Jackson. The only survivor of a massacre wakes up in a hospital and slowly remembers the events where a mysterious man with a bag over his head tore apart two dozen street youth. Bad but entertaining over-the-top acting, and non-stop creative comedic splatter that Jackson would be proud of, including opening an umbrella inside of a man, two axes to the butt and shoving a man's head through another man's torso.

Brain Dead (2007)  
Well, this is the third film that uses this title, and the other two were great, so this one has a lot to live up to. The director who dared is Kevin Tenney, who helmed a few schlocky 80s horror flicks in his time, and this one proved to be a moderately entertaining switch-off-your-brain gore and nudity flick, as long as you aren't expecting much. Its biggest flaw is that it is a copy-and-paste job, but a fun one. A brain-eating slug from outer-space lands right in a man's head and multiplies from there, controlling its hosts and turning them into a kind of zombie. Several groups in the forest have to survive including a violent convict and his wise-cracking unwilling partner, a reverend and his guilty-lust-object Amy, and some girls, one of which is a man-hating lesbian. There's sparse but over-the-top entertaining splatter mostly involving a variety of gruesome things that can be done to people's heads, and the wise-cracking dude makes the slower parts a bit more fun.

Dead and Breakfast  
A group of youngsters on their way to a wedding get caught in a hick town with a dark supernatural secret that is taking over live and dead people, making them go on a killing rampage. The splatter flies freely while the local musician sings ditties and the city folk find themselves dancing with the local manure-loving characters in more ways than one. While this plot sounds very unoriginal and the characters and humor aren't so charming, what makes this fun is the love of the splatter-comedy genre by everyone involved, the good acting, the good splatter, a slew of quirky characters, and the winning goofiness of the whole thing. In short, a somewhat mediocre movie, but I'm glad someone still knows how to make an entertaining splatter movie without resorting to Hollywood cliches or dumb gore.

Doghouse  
Jake West should really be making more movies, given the talent for creative splatter comedy evident in this and in Evil Aliens. This is his best work yet, a glorious, ballsy, fun and wicked tribute to chauvinism, macho-restoration and political incorrectness. A group of guys with female trouble decide to take a trip to a remote village populated mostly by women in an attempt to cheer up their friend who just got divorced. Instead, they encounter chaos and a town full of cannibalistic man-hating ghoul-women. Who will survive, who will cross-dress in order to appease the women, and who will break all the rules and regain his manhood? Full of gore and funny splatstick, creative fights and situations, and a parade of entertaining angry monster-women, including everything from an amazon actress with a sword, to a butch butcher, a granny with spine-snipping scissors, a limb-chopping hairdresser armed with two large scissors, and a fat lady with a taste for man-fingers. Only the British could have pulled this off. Vastly entertaining and very welcome.

Evil Aliens  
A disgusting splatstick comedy that gets points for being entertaining rather than witty and goes for over-the-top bad-taste, topping Peter Jackson in gruesomeness but not in creativity. A tabloid camera crew complete with bitchy reporter and UFO fanatic visit a Welsh farm where aliens were reported to have landed, and soon find wild, inbred Welshmen battling it out with vicious Aliens who are into all the good ol' Alien social standards of impregnation, anal probing and cattle mutiliation (all filmed with over-the-top gore). A lame start leads to a very entertaining gory romp where annoying characters are gleefully killed off one by one. Features a very entertaining Welsh farmer with a bad eye and a classic scene with a combine harvester.

Evil Dead  
A cult blend of intense horror, some touches of black humor, impressively energetic and engaging camera-work, and lots of gore. A group of youngsters vacation in a deserted cabin and find truely unstoppable evil linked to a Book of the Dead that possesses them and then sets off an anarchical bloodbath. Features buckets of blood and gruesome makeup, an invisible evil force that the inventive cameras and editing make visible, and violent, horny trees. Alternates between highly effective intense horror and quirky dark entertainment, but it is undeniably an unforgettable, energetic and unique horror classic.

Evil Dead 2  
This revisitation of the same story from the first Evil Dead is actually a comedy/splatter movie with the incredible energetic style of Raimi and over-the-top gore. The intensity, splatter and energy are all boosted, but this time the approach is campy, resulting in another unique horror experience. Bruce fights not only evil in this one but also his own possessed hand, carving himself and the dead with a chainsaw until he and the movie reach a crescendo of madness, dancing with a haunted lampshade amidst the carnage. Cult entertainment, and one of the best splatter movies out there. The third in the series is just silly camp however.

Forklift Driver Klaus: The First Day On the Job  
A popular 10 minute short supposedly for educating forklift workers on safety at work, but actually a hilarious splatterfest in the vein of Peter Jackson. Men get sliced in half, chainsawed, forklifted, etc.

From Dusk 'til Dawn  
A severely schizophrenic movie directed in two parts by two directors. The first is Tarantino with his usual violent bad-ass characters and quirky dialog, then we take an erotic break with Hayek's most sizzling dance and suddenly everything erupts into splatter madness with body parts flying and campy battles with bloody vampires. Fun but unfocused.

Piranha  
Aja seems to be making the Hollywood b-movie rounds: First a slasher, then a backwoods horror remake, then an Asian remake, and now a remake of a Jaws ripoff. The funny thing is how he manages to add his own touch to each of these sub-genres and turn such bad movies into ferocious, gory beasts with muscle. The description for this movie is gore, boobs, nudity, gore, lesbians, ferocious gore, more boobs and incredibly over-the-top nihilistic massacre gore peppered with horror cameos and a big sense of tongue-in-cheek fun. Aja sets up a bunch of annoyingly oversexed idiotic party-animals for the kill, making us want them to get their dues, then exceeds our expectations with a vicious massacre scene that must be seen to be believed. This movie is hypocritical and knows it, exploiting, then punishing the exploiters in the movie in the most nasty way possible. This is a movie that can show a piranha biting off a penis, then spitting it back out again half chewed up in extreme 3D close-up. This is a B-movie with A-movie cinematography, budget and cameos by people that just want to have fun making a bad b-movie. I would have preferred more wit, but Aja makes it so eye-poppingly savage and over-the-top that it somehow becomes the definitive example of the genre while spoofing it. Oh, the plot? A party breaks out at a local lake after an earthquake sets free a swarm of prehistoric piranha. The sheriff's warnings go unheard...

Rambo IV  
Rather than rebooting this character and exploring the place of Rambo in the modern world as I hoped, Stallone goes for box-office success by simply going for the popular image of Rambo: A one-man killing machine underdog who wipes out whole third-world armies when they get too vicious. This time, Rambo is a cynical snake-catcher in Thailand who is recruited by Christian missionaries on a mission to Burma. Rambo knows what he is and hates himself for it, therefore he can't resist when a moral idealist wants to save a few lives. Of course, the mission gets captured and Rambo has to save the day. We've seen war carnage in Saving Private Ryan, but this one gives the CGI gore top billing, with endless carnage sequences showing decapitations, splatter and limbs flying off of 50 soldiers in a matter of 3 seconds. I liked the clash of bleeding-heart idealism and Rambo, although of course this isn't explored with any intelligence. The movie is too short and simple, going for Rambo III style action rather than First Blood depth of character. But I guess I'm nostalgic for old-school one-man action entertainment so this gets a thumbs-up.

Slither  
This one is like a catalog of b-movie creature-horror ideas and effects. The alien here can do everything: Land in a pod, invade and take over human bodies, develop tentacles and other mutations, spit acid, impregnate humans, create zombies, eat or digest animals and humans, and infest the world with slithering aliens. The latex and gooey effects are so over the top they are slightly reminiscent of Society, there are some nasty breeding scenes, and a couple of splashy splatter scenes are thrown in for laughs. Unfortunately, it lacks a certain level of wit, and it doesn't reach the levels of Tremors, but what does? Entertaining b-movie horror-comedy, as long as you know what to expect.

Spartacus
See TV.

Starship Troopers  
Verhoeven's brutal sci-fi masterpiece is unrelenting in its energy, violence, gore and social satire. The clashing of picture perfect youths warring against massive, brutal alien bugs under fascist like commanders and governments result in breathtaking effects, endless bloody violence and unrelenting tension as well as Verhoeven tinged soap drama. Incredibly good.

Thing, The  
Carpenter's remake is a superb horror classic, very memorable for the amazing gore effects and a classic of horror paranoia. A group of scientists on Antarctica discover an alien life form that infects animal and human bodies in bizarre and horrific ways, phsyically controlling and mutating body parts. Intense paranoia, isolation and horror ensue.

Undead  
A labor of love by a pair of new directors. The ingredients are mostly unoriginal but the way it all comes together as a mix of zombie movie, comedy, splatter, sci-fi and John Woo gunplay parody are entertaining to say the least. There are scores of homages (or ripoffs) to Romero, Raimi, Jackson, and a complex plot that gives the zombie genre a very interesting twist a la Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Flawed due to annoying and dumb characters but this ambitious genre-salad, like Lifeforce, will either confuse and bore you, or entertain your socks off.
Of Some Interest

ABCs of Death, The
See Extreme Movies.

Adam Chaplin  
If you're tired of low-budget Euro-splatter movies that don't put in any effort to make something new, then this may just be what you need. This is an Italian cartoonish manga-esque gore-action movie that is sometimes reminiscent of the insane Japanese splatter movies by Nishimura or an 80s splatter flick throwback, but it's actually got a style of its own. Like Story of Ricky, it's all about fights and gore though, and the creative splatter-damage that can be inflicted during fights, so don't expect any splatstick or a proper story. The movie also revels in ugliness, with every character sporting a mutation, a skin-disease, freakish scars, or a severe case of the uglies, with the big bad boss basically consisting of a mass of deformities holding hands under a mask. Adam is the protagonist, a muscular brooding type out for revenge for his burned-alive girlfriend, that enlisted a demon-creature to hide in his flesh to give him super-human strength. This he uses to bash faces to a literal pulp, crush bones, impale, rip off limbs, etc. mostly with superb effects, as well as some weaker computer effects. Flaws include the loose structure and pacing of the movie, and the terribly distracting dubbing job (why do so many Italian movies dub their own movies?) that always sounds artificial and usually doesn't match what's on-screen. A must-see for gorehounds, and almost great.

Aftermath
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Biotherapy  
Rare Japanese splatter short about scientists conducting a special experiment and a hooded mutant monster that comes after them. The gore is extreme and realistic and includes eye gouging, test tube stabbings and disembowelings.

Blood Diner (AKA Blood Feast 2)  
A tribute to H.G. Lewis's Blood Feast featuring more Egyptian madness and campy splatter. The nephews of a horny disembodied brain gather all the required slutty female body parts and incantations to bring life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. This they do under the guise of a vegetarian diner while wrestling with Jimmy Hitler, a local wrestling champion. The gore is over the top but not as gooey as the original, and the silly camp does bear a similarity to the charm of H.G. Lewis although it has a cheesy taste of its own. Dumb splatter fun wrapped in one of the happiest gore movies ever made.

Blutgeil  
25-minute splatter short from Switzerland of special note, because, for some reason, it caused a censorship controversy. The actual flick is just minimally entertaining amateurish splatterific violence between policemen and the various people that hate them. A TV reporter makes remarks on how some people are happy that 21 policemen got butchered beyond recognition. A cop duo run around beating up suspicious people and drug addicts to a bloody pulp, until they meet their match in a house full of drunk, violent, cannibalistic metalheads.

Bong of the Dead  
A hybrid of stoned slacker comedy and zombie splatter movie, making this... 'slackstick'? It starts out great with a meteor that turns an old man obsessed with badly painted garden gnomes, and his wife, into a Braindead-style zombie couple. Unfortunately it veers and gets lost for the majority of the movie in the Dumb and Dumber-esque antics of two stoned dudes who discover that zombie brains make for super fertilizer to create super-pot. They go on a road trip to the 'danger zone' to collect more zombies when they encounter a super-zombie trying to put together a zombie army, and bond with a tough chick who owns a cool bar and an unusual shower, and who knows her way around machines. These scenes bog down the movie with endless dialogue by dummies that think they are being funny and that watching them get stoned and drunk are as entertaining as it is to them. By the time the movie finally gets around to a grand splattery showdown with a zomby army and various propelled sharp blades, it's the end of the movie. Features very good special effects and cinematography considering the budget and the fact that it was mostly put together by one person - a potential Peter Jackson outing were it not for the bad script and witless humor. More splatstick, less pot please.

Boy Eats Girl  
A cheesy Irish teenage zombie comedy with gore. Boy commits sucide, mother finds voodoo book, mother re-animates her son, son gets taste for human flesh, infection spreads, massacre ensues. The comedy is weak, the gore is pretty good, the movie is entertaining while it's on but forgettable soon after.

Bread and Circus
See Extreme Movies.

Bubba's Chili Parlor  
Low-budget hillbilly zombie movie that almost turns its gritty cheapness into an asset by making it look like a 70s grindhouse movie complete with cheesy commercials. Bubba runs a 'world famous' chili eatery in the middle of nowhere, and when he gets some cheap meat from a government enhanced experiment, he can't resist using it in his chili, turning the locals into bloodthirsty zombies. A couple of local rednecks pull out their Texas arsenal and start a shooting spree. The gore is borderline, barely reaching Romero levels but it has fun with some splatstick in the first half of the movie only. The laid-back hillbilly atmosphere and music is the best thing going for this badly acted movie, and it features a few unique touches: a little girl with brains that turns into a smart zombie, a horny slut zombie, and a zombie with a permanent erection.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever  
Sequel in name only features the disease spreading a lot faster amongst high-schoolers, with a climax at prom night, and there's no cabin or fever in sight since everyone pretty much breaks out in gross-out symptoms right away this time. And that's what this movie is all about: campy gross-out splatter and gore, like a sequel to Class of Nuke em High. Nasty explosions of blood and pus are not enough for this movie, it also adds horny men having sex with an obviously infected stripper, an exploding body hit by a bus, sex with a melting very fat girl in the pool, graphic penis-pus, over-the-top buzz-saw and blowtorch gore, and more. Like the Wrong Turn sequels, this sequel simply exploits the movie name and changes direction into campy gore, which explains the mass of disappointments.

Cemetery Gates  
Old-school campy creature horror movie that takes you back to the 80s with its sense of over-the-top gory fun, non-CGI gore and creature effects, campy characters, and a dumb plot. This is refreshing after all the recent pointlessly sadistic horror that takes itself seriously. A scientist grows a mutated Tasmanian Devil which is released by some idiotic animal rights activists. Joggers, local hillbillies, cemetery workers and petty crooks, and even a group of teenage zombie-film-makers serve as fodder for sharp and efficient teeth and claws, resulting in buckets of blood and gore, albeit nothing too creative or extreme.

City of Rott  
Crude, Flash-like animation of a zombie movie featuring an entertaining old man and his walker in a city full of thousands of zombies. Driven by his need for new slippers while having conversations with his walker and shoes, he becomes the most energetic and indestructable old man ever, tearing apart, smashing and decapitating scores of zombies with various weapons. Like a video game with constant old-man rants, lots of ads for a Zombifate drug and hundreds of squirmy worms which seem to have caused the plague, and over-the-top but repetitive gore. Entertaining at times, silly at others.

Convent, The  
Silly splatter comedy about a convent inhabited by demons. Teenagers visit the deserted place where a massacre had taken place decades before and the heads start rolling. The characters are hit and miss (the best one, a goth girl, gets killed too fast), the gore is plentiful but somewhat unimaginative, the comedy varies from silly to amusing, the direction and music however tries too hard to be hip. A party gore movie.

Darkness  
A vampire gore movie made by teenagers with no budget. A teenager witnesses a massacre by vampires and becomes a vampire killer with friends. The rest of the movie involves lots of chasing, screaming, fighting and gore. The good is that the over-the-top gore effects are moderately entertaining and some scenes are effective, the bad is that they are all teenagers that take themselves too seriously, the lighting has severe technical difficulties, and the plot and characters are non-existent. Barely of interest.

Day of Violence, A  
Darren Ward's followup to Sudden Fury ten years later is another gritty, low-budget but energetic crime movie with smatterings of surprising gore and nastiness. Unfortunately, it's just about a bunch of nasty people being nasty to each other, with an emphasis on animalistic bloody violence, and no humanity, style, or honor in sight. The protagonist is a debt collector for sadistic mob bosses, and his motives for stealing a bunch of money slowly unfold over the course of the movie, but, in the meantime, he doesn't display much more honor than his co-workers, sadistically torturing and killing people in his way. A scene of very graphic castration and endless, realistic but extreme bloody violence help make this a borderline gorehound's movie, and it's pretty well done for its low-budget, but it's a very empty and unsatisfying movie.

Deadly Spawn, The  
A great, gory, low-budget b-movie. A meteor lands on earth, releasing a spawn of rapidly growing monsters with lots of teeth. As more and more people get chomped, a group of teenagers and one resourceful kid who watched too many horror movies, battle it out with the multiplying creatures. Can the kid get control of the situation before his friends heads and limbs are bitten off, and more of his family's faces are chewed off? Campy bloody fun and blessedly free of annoying cliches, the only fatal flaw being the mostly dull characters.

Dead Meat  
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie in an Irish landscape with a dose of Peter Jackson. A woman and her boyfriend get caught in the country where a mad cow disease has taken a zombifying turn. She encounters a couple of local characters who join her for an hour of running, fighting and lots of decapitations. A shovel gets several good splatter workouts and the country setting is nice, but this one is too unrealistically gory to be taken seriously, not funny enough to be splatstick, and the main characters are dull.

Dead Men Walking  
Yet another modern zombie movie with infected, raging, fast-moving zombies, this time set in a maximum security prison. This would have been a good idea for an action-packed brutal gore-fest if not for the bad writing and acting. Even the gore, although prevalent, is not creative and sticks to lots of splattered brains and faces, and some gut-munching. The development of events is nothing short of idiotic (an infected man is jailed in prison fast and allowed to mingle), and all the actors are unsympathetic at best, or terrible at worst. The constant action and energy keeps you watching but it still feels like a waste of time.

Dead Snow  
Norwegian homage to zombie movies like Braindead and Evil Dead but it doesn't quite get the balance right. A group of students hike to a lonely mountain cabin in the snow for a vacation and encounter Nazi zombies. Red splatter on white snow involving Nazi zombies is the gimmick of this movie, but that's as far as the inspiration went. The plentiful gore includes a wide variety of slashings, dismemberments, bodies torn apart, splattery bites, etc. with some stand-out scenes including the use of intestines to hang over a cliff, and intestine-eating from the point of view of the victim. The movie is beautifully filmed and looks like it should be gory fun but it is mediocre entertainment instead. The reasons, I believe, are due to the lack of character and the imbalance in tone: All of the actors are instantly forgettable, and the movie can't decide whether it is a splatstick movie or a horror movie, with neither managing to get off the ground and both interfering with each other.

Demagogue  
Think Bad Taste only without the talent or the over-the-top creative splatter. The attitude is right though, and there may be some enjoyment to be had here as long as your expections are extremely low. On the behest of an old, batty couple, a DJ-detective infiltrates a cult obsessed with DNA experiments in order to create a human that can communicate with aliens. The leader is a woman who enjoys sexually harassing young men, her right-hand man is a psychotic park ranger who can hardly control his urges to kill park intruders in gory ways, mobsters suddenly make a strange appearance for a shootout, and the DNA experiments produce a deformed genius baby in a rubber mask that adds to the killing chaos. Heads are crushed, drilled into with a rocket, or sliced with a shovel, butcher knives make messy births, tongues are yanked out, and there are messy shootouts involving rockets and garden equipment, but it's not insanely inspired as with Peter Jackson and it's lacking a certain something that makes these kinds of low-budget madcap gore movies fun.

Demons  
A classic Italian horror movie. Several people are invited into a mysterious cinema by mysterious people where some are turned into zombie-like demons who in turn attack the rest of the crowd. Mayhem creeps in when they find out they are blockaded in the cinema and lots of gore ensues. Bad acting is the fatal flaw, but it makes for a moderately entertaining popcorn gore movie.

Demon Spies  
From the writer of Hanzo, Crying Freeman, Lone Wolf, and Lady Snowblood series, comes this lesser known over-the-top action Chambara. The plot (which was later copied in Azumi) is about a group of children trained as 'demons', mysterious super-assassins who keep the peace by wiping out conspiracies and corrupt powerful people. Their training is hell, most of them not surviving the tests which include espionage, autopsies and detached sex. The rest of the movie involves a dangerous mission to find a secret horde of weapons and traitors, led by a cunning man who plays an intense battle of wits with the demons. This is all very entertaining and would be extremely good if not for the over-the-top cartoonish and exploitative treatment, taking the popular geysers of blood and chopped limbs of the time to new heights.

Die You Zombie Bastards!
See Extreme Movies.

Evil (AKA To Kako)  
Entertaining Greek zombie splatter movie with modern fast-moving zombies. The story is a simple, uninspired zombie apocalypse survival plot, with a clashing mix of more realistic survival action-drama, and over-the-top, silly Dusk 'til Dawn splatstick complete with kung-fu chicks and fists through the chest. These approaches undermine each other, the music is annoying techno, but the wild, varied gore effects are quite good. A minimally entertaining zombie-gore movie.

Evil Dead Trap  
Heavily influenced by Argento and using cinematic homages (or rip-offs) to Fulci and Raimi, this Japanese horror movie starts as a brutal and gory slasher and ends as a bizarre and nonsensical supernatural gore flick. A female TV crew is sent a tape of a brutal killing with directions on how to get to an abandoned building ...and curiosity killed the cat. Features skewering, eye-gouging, slashing, death traps, etc.

Evil Ed  
Swedish parody on the splatter and horror genres, which, in one sense, means it's a spoof on a spoof. Ed is a sensitive and moral editor who is transferred to the 'gore and splatter' division where the multi-million dollar franchise 'Loose Limbs' needs editing to keep the European censors happy. After some late night repetitive cutting, Ed loses it and starts hallucinating then goes psychotic. Features scores of little homages to horror movies. Somewhat entertaining, but there are two flaws: Even in its unrated edition, the splatter is rare and sporadic and feels like some gore was cut, and the comedy tends to get too crudely obvious. Ironically, this movie was also released in a censored version.

Feast  
Over-hyped horror movie that came out of the Greenlight reality-TV project. Think unexplained monsters that attack a group of locals a la Tremors, and a night-long barricade in a bar ravaged by monsters a la Dusk til Dawn, only without the wit, writing skills and fun of either of them. The monsters make no sense at all: One second they zip by at the speed of light, then move in slow shambles, they have razor sharp claws but only use them when the script calls for it, a baby can slam through metal but adults can't break through poorly nailed wood, and they randomly do things only once like spew buckets of green slime, infect humans with maggots, or wear a costume (?!). The gore is well made but it only just barely passes the border of mainstream gore to gorefest, the highlights being a tug-of-war with an eyeball and a splatterific head crushing. In short: A very bad script, no story, confusing directing, campy horror that isn't as hip as it thinks it is, but good energy, gore and the ability to kill off the cast in surprising ways makes it somewhat watchable.

God of Vampires  
Like Bad Taste, this home-made movie is a labor of love, made over several years during weekends and spare time with personal financing. But it's a different kind of movie: Part camp, part HK action flick, part vampire horror, this movie tells the tale of a very competent Chinese assassin who is sent to kill a Master Vampire and finds himself in over his head. The vampire sees the fearless killer in him and decides to play a game with him, killing everyone he meets. He finds himself teaming up with some Chinese bar employees and guests to wage war against the vampires. The results are a mixed bag: I liked the way it stuck to the Chinese hopping-vampire mythos only made them scarier, and I really liked the inventive comedy to do with the 'Chinese death certificate' that freezes a vampire when stuck to its forehead. The acting is the weakest aspect but is passable, ranging from mediocre to weak. The action scenes are b-movie level but entertaining and they get better as the movie progresses. The gore is just this side of over-the-top splatter with a wide variety of damage done by a wide variety of sharp weapons. The lighting doesn't always allow us to see what is going on, and the sound is terrible, with the music completely drowning out dialogue in many scenes. An entertaining watch-once flick as long as you adjust your expectations.

Gorex: The Zombi Horror Picture Show  
Home-made Spanish gore-porn. A very silly mad doctor kidnaps a man and tries out his nerve-numbing concoction on him, proving its effectiveness by cutting off several random limbs, cutting into his intestines and shooting him until he finally dies without feeling a thing. A side-effect of extreme lust inspires the doctor to try different experiments involving sex with 3 females. This new experiment chaotically mixes x-rated sex, c-grade gore and lowest level camp.

Grave Robbers  
Slightly above average cheesy satanic-zombie-slasher from Mexico with just enough extra gore and energy above your average gory slasher. Teenage grave robbers find a tomb with a powerful Satanist. When they remove the axe in his chest, they unleash an undead, near-immortal fury as he seeks a virgin to mate with. Plenty of bloody axe killings ensue with pretty good effects, and there's the gory centerpieces of a hand through a man's stomach and a head mashed through a fence.

Grindhouse: Planet Terror  
The centerpiece, gore-trash-schlock half of the double-feature Grindhouse nostalgic experience by Tarantino-Rodriguez. This one goes for everything and the kitchen sink: Cheesy violent action and action-heroes, trashy exploitation, splatter-gore with what looks like a full bucket of grue being flung for every bullet, nasty gore effects of pus, abscesses and infections, zombies, mutations, evil soldiers, mad bio-scientists, nonsensical writing and sub-plots, etc. There's a biological virus turning people into zombies with mutating soldiers hot on its tail, a scientist who likes collecting people's balls, a stripper who loses a leg and gets a machine gun as a replacement, a lesbian nurse with a jealous, psychotic husband and colorful syringes, and more. The overall effect of this one is fun and entertaining but brainless and schizophrenic: The grainy, scratchy, jumpy film stock effects are pretty good at reproducing a grindhouse era film look, but they are overdone, and the quality audio, cellphones, and special-effects clash with this experience, as well as the a-grade actors winking at us. The tone veers often from trash homage to silly spoof, the various scenes and characters feel like they are ripped off from very different movies, and the entertainment changes from splatter horror, to cheesy b-movie exploitative action, to grindhouse trash, all usually separate genres. Somewhat fun, but dumb, and even Dusk til Dawn felt more consistent.

Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol, The
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Guinea Pig: He Never Dies  
A comedic entry in the Guinea Pig series that tells the tale of a loser at work who stays at home for a few days getting even more depressed over the fact that nobody from work is calling him. He gets so bored, he cuts his own wrist and finds out he cannot die. In a curiosity panic, he starts cutting off his own limbs, cutting his neck, then invites his friend over and disembowels himself, throwing his entrails at the horrified friend while making silly jokes. A funny splatter comedy.

Guinea Pig: Mermaid in a Manhole  
A painter mourning the loss of his wife finds a diseased mermaid in a sewer where his childhood dreams of innocence and beauty have been smashed. He takes her up into his house to paint her and take care of her. Her extremely nasty disease spreads however, covering her whole body with boils and constantly spurting blood, multi-colored pus, worms, maggots and intestines. A surprising mix of poetic symbolism, tragic drama, extreme gore, and stomach-churning, revolting special effects. An experience not to be taken anywhere near meal-times.

Hatchet  
A slasher movie that doesn't try to be clever, and instead focuses on all the campy elements of the genre, mixing it with silly, colorful characters and over-the-top splatter. A group of people go on a cheesy tour of a haunted swamp and encounter a huge, angry, mutant killer. The film manages to surprise with its sudden brutality and entertaining over-the-top gore, featuring bucketloads of blood, graphically tearing bodies apart in various ways. Of course the killer is impossible to kill, and the dumb blonde that keeps showing her boobs doesn't help their chances of survival. For an audience that watches slashers for dumb, horror, popcorn fun.

Hellraiser  
Clive Barker's tale of a man who solves a puzzle into hell and discovers pleasure in extreme pain and torture is gruesome, original and effective, but he doesn't seem to have thought the plot and characters through. As the puzzle opens, hooks and chains tear off skin and flesh inconsistently, and mutilated humans from hell called Cenobites come over for either a chat, or instant torture. The man's half brother and ex-lover bring his remains back to life with blood and the Cenobites do not like being cheated out of their victims...

Hellraiser 2 (Hellbound)  
This slightly more interesting sequel is merely an excuse for gory special effects, very imaginative gruesome torture devices and lots of butchering. A doctor obsessed with unlocking the mystery of death and hell comes across the characters (both dead and alive), from the previous outing and his gruesome awakening threatens to overcome even the Cenobites. Lots of bizarre but tedious chases down the corridors of hell, an evil that spills over onto Earth, and the same incoherent plot all serve as a backdrop for empty gore and nastiness.

High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter  
Silly, stupidly entertaining zombie comedy from Japan with the appropriate buckets of blood. This is not at the creative level of a Nishimura film though. A girl and her friends go to visit her senile grandfather, who also happens to be a swordsman, in a town overrun by zombies. The get eaten one by one, while the grandfather grafts a super zombie-hunter's arm onto his granddaughter and turns her into a warrior. Add to the mix a zombie who kept his wits but can barely contain himself from eating humans, and a super-zombie with special powers. If scenes like a gory swordfight between a Japanese girl, a sci-fi super-zombie and a grandfather tickle your fancy, pick this one up. Cartoonishly entertaining.

Hobo with a Shotgun  
Like Machete, this was born out of the trailers that accompanied Tarantino's Grindhouse trailer-fest. Like Planet Terror, this homage to 70s grindhouse violence takes it so over-the-top and tries so hard to be so-bad-its-good camp, that it loses some of its charm and authenticity in the process and has trouble maintaining a consistent tone. Rutger Hauer is a hobo that finds himself in a very crime-ridden town ruled by psychotic criminals. When they push him too far, he forgoes his dream to buy a lawn mower, and buys a shotgun instead with which to clean the streets. The many over-the-top violent acts here include embedding a man in a manhole before decapitating him with a car while a girl washes herself in his arterial spray, chopping up a hand and arm with a lawn-mower down to a sharp stump which is promptly used as a stabbing weapon, and so on. Add to this some filthy dialogue so over-the-top and badly written, it could only make sense in a Troma movie. In short, the gore is grindhouse nasty and imaginative but lacks wit, the movie is trying hard to be bad so there's only so much entertainment you can get out of it, and it ends up feeling like a relatively good Troma movie. Only Rutger Hauer gets it right, acting like a b-movie actor in a b-movie who gives it everything he's got and he makes this the best of the neo-grindhouse wave. Dunsworth as the smart whore with a heart of gold who befriends him also delivers. It's just a pity that everything around them, especially the bad guys, undermines this approach with cartoonish awfulness and nastiness.

Home Sick  
A strange gory slasher that feels like someone tried to direct a low-budget campy gore movie as a serious horror movie with Fulci atmosphere. The characters and situations mostly belong in an H.G. Lewis movie though. A deliriously insane Suitcase Man barges into a party full of annoying teenagers, opens his suitcase full of razor blades and starts cutting himself for every person the party guests hate. When these people start to die in gruesome ways, the teenagers have some beer, let a few more people die, go to an insane mechanic, then to a redneck dad with a private armory, while the killer disembowels them, slices their feet apart, smashes or tears off their heads, and punches holes through their faces. Somewhat entertaining as long as you take the over-acting as camp, and ignore the strangely made-up raccoon circles around all of their eyes.

Horde, The  
The French tackle a zombie movie, which made me very interested, until I watched it and found that this isn't a zombie movie, but a video game with a video game mentality. The plot is bare-bones: Renegade cops on a revenge spree attack a condemned building housing some bad criminals, the mission goes bad, but before they can finish their game, chaos breaks out and a horde of zombies attack the building, forcing them to team up Tarantino style. An insane old war veteran with a decidedly perverse sense of fun joins them soon after. That's it. The rest of the movie is just a bunch of badass people fighting hundreds of zombies with badass action and a variety of weapons. Buckets of blood are splashed around as zombies are taken out with large caliber guns, shotguns and machetes, but unfortunately a lot of it is obviously CGI blood. The zombies are hyper-violent, and sometimes the fights are hand-to-hand, resulting in brutal, gory and endless violence bashing up zombies with anything available in desperate attempts to get the rabid undead to stay down. But it's all macho action and as brainless as it gets: People risk their lives just to get bigger guns, they try to get out of a building into a horde of undead even though it has been successfully closed off from zombies, dozens of hyper zombies can't seem to grab a man's legs as he stands on a car, men sacrifice themselves for no good reason just because it looks badass, the first zombie proved that only a headshot counts and yet they never aim at their heads throughout the movie, and so on. A mildly entertaining but really stupid video game for the braindead only.

Hunting Creatures  
German zombie splatter featuring gangsters with guns (which made me think it was a Timo Rose movie). Some criminals decide to start a rave party in a warehouse, which turns out to be the location of a scientific experiment gone wrong. Before you know it, everyone turns to porridge spewing zombies and the disease spreads. The gangsters team up with scientists and go on a gory killing spree for the rest of the movie, tearing apart zombies in various locations as they spread. Amateurish and dumb, but entertaining thanks to its non-stop violence and way over-the-top splatter as the zombies and fighters slice, rip, disembowel, decapitate, eat and tear-apart each other with glee.

Incredible Melting Man, The  
Late 70s b-movie notorious for its special effects. It's a bad one, but entertainingly bad, as only a b-movie from that period can be. An astronaut returns from a mission to Saturn with some severe damage from a sun-flare that causes him to be radioactive and, yup, you guessed it, melt. He escapes from the hospital in a rage, and wanders the countryside with a dripping gooey body, alternatively leaving behind a trail of gooey pizza gore, and killing everyone he meets. Dismembered body parts fly, buckets of pizza drip, a decapitated head splatters and falls apart, until the grand melt finale. Not exactly super-gory by today's standards, but definitely a gore landmark.

Inside (Ŕ L'intérieur)  
A widowed, pregnant woman is stalked in her home by a psychotic woman who seems to have a special interest in her baby. Carnage ensues as the police, family and co-workers get involved. And that's putting it mildly. Whereas Braindead may be the goriest movie ever made in the comical over-the-top sense, this is probably the goriest realistic horror movie ever made. It doesn't linger or zoom-in on the carnage, but the slashing is unrelentingly nasty and endless, featuring extremely bloody slashings and stabbings with scissors, pieces of glass, knitting needles, guns, other sharp objects. The tension and horror is very high and the twist ending is actually good, but the flaws here include the endless gore bordering on the ridiculous when the should-be-dead come back to life, the lack of plot, the cliche of an invincible slasher that somehow always gets the better of much stronger people, and some very badly trained cops. The scary thing is that there are really women out there in the news with a similar psychotic obsession.

In The Name Of Gore  
More underground German splatter with youths as criminals causing gory havoc in basements and forests a la Timo Rose, only slightly better acted and scripted. Two criminals, one wounded, decide on a home invasion in order to perform some bullet-extraction surgery with a fork on themselves. The owner of the home turns out to be a writer of gory stories, who soon shares his ideas with the criminals. Two stories are presented with a final surprise: A raped woman haunts a man's dreams who enlists the help of a cop friend, and with an arsenal of weapons, seek out the perpetrators for a lot of sadistic torture and violence. The second story involves a violent killing spree in the woods between criminals and campers over a magical liquid that can bring the dead back to life. Mostly violent entertainment with some scenes of over-the-top gore involving finger-chopping, head explosions, self eye-gouging and more.

Intruder  
A by-the-numbers slasher movie, but in its uncut version, features a few scattered over-the-top gory deaths. The plot is generic (mysterious murderer stalks young people and chops them up one by one) but the location is a supermarket, the acting is good, and the use of inventive camera angles make this a must-see for slasher fans. The most infamous gore scenes involve a hydraulic press and an electric saw to the head.

Isle of the Damned  
A follow-up to Pleasures of the Damned with a similar recreation/homage to 70s horror, this time for the Italian cannibal genre. Once again we are treated to people with silly costumes, huge wigs and moustaches, all atrociously dubbed, with an excessive take on an excessive genre. Various groups of people travel to an island of cannibals in search of treasure, encounter savages and a wild jungle, and find that there are worse savages inside themselves. Barbaric violent rituals, cannibalism, chaos, ruthlessly greedy white men, sexual violence, and lots and lots of extreme splatter are all there, but there are also cheesy action heroes, dumb sidekicks, a bisexual rapist fat man, toilet and gay humor, a pirate, and other silly characters. This movie is two things at once: The mildly amusing but very stupid spoof on the cannibal genre, and a terribly idiotic Seaver movie without the idiosyncratic dialogue. There is also a lot of buggery going on (with a pole, knife, by a dad, or a gang of cannibals) that is obviously about the film-maker rather than the cannibal genre. If you expect something really really stupid and watched some cannibal movies, you may be mildly amused.

Italian Zombie Movie, The (Zombie Abomination & Zombie Atrocity)    
Micro-budget, 3.5 hour, homage-cum-parody of 80s horror movies released in two parts. The horror movies being worshipped are mostly Italian, and mostly zombie movies, but this pretty much throws in everything and the kitchen sink, including cheesy sci-fi with robots and spacemen, miscellaneous horror icons like a Succubus, a flying decapitated head straight out of Asian horror, and much more. There are plenty of characters as well, including the useless Succubus and her dumb misogynist boyfriend, a doctor and a pair of Michigan Militia all with conspirational secrets, some army people, a psychic sister, a feminist gas attendant, a zombie king, and so on. The writing and structure basically does whatever it feels like, tying together a series of vignettes within a vaguely incoherent plot, like a Zucker-Abrahams parody, except without the wit. Gore makes plenty of appearances, albeit not in impressive ways, but they have plenty of fun with intestines, exploding heads, with one scene of a man letting all his intestines out in the crapper like a twisted parody of 'City of the Living Dead'. The music is also all over the place and stolen or copied from said worshipped horror movies. To sum up, 3.5 hours of random silliness, weirdness, gore, and reference-dropping for horror fans made by a fan. Personally, I found it way too long, lacking wit and with too much bad acting, but I can see others enjoying this.

It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To  
Campy horror/slasher movie inspired by Tom Savini and a dozen other horror movies, with Creepshow comic-book interludes, a 'choose your own adventure' DVD branching feature, and a borderline abundance of gore. Teenagers set up a horror-themed birthday party in a haunted house for a horror-obsessed girl with the expected consequences. An evil man who butchered his own family comes back as a possessed creature (good special effects) and starts the massacre with a mixed approach of serious but low-budget horror and camp (girl tries to turn into a karate-sword-wielding super-chick and repetitively tries to kill the monster). The gore is sparse but peppered with a wide variety of enthusiastic splatter effects and a lingering camera.

Janitor, The  
Troma-style gore, boobs and body fluids comedy about a Janitor who is humiliated or ignored by everyone and goes on a killing spree. The acting is campy, the splatter is plentiful with dismemberments galore, there is crude humor with a prostitute who gives a new meaning to giving head, and there are dozens of silly horror movie references. As far as campy b-movie trash is concerned, this is amongst the best.

Knochenwald Trilogy      
German underground amateur splatter trilogy made by some teenagers over a period of 8 years that slowly improves. The three parts are 20, 60 and 90 minutes long respectively, and all feature a psychotic serial killer in a gas mask killing any young folk that wander into the forest. The first is a simple collection of kill scenes. The second features a second cannibalistic, squeaky-voiced killer that escapes from a mental asylum with a grudge against his doctors, and who soon joins forces with the first killer. This one is a bit more campy but is still just an empty, lame excuse for practicing on splatter effects. The third features a resurrected, supernatural killer and an aggressive copycat, adds a lot of camp and toilet-humor involving a group of metal-heads, gothkids and their party, all leading to a really over-the-top splatter finale. The acting is always terrible, the effects aren't at all convincing, but they keep learning new tricks, and the movies know how bad they are and just have silly fun with it. The splatter obsesses over a wide variety of things that can be done to the head, including cutting, slicing, splitting, smashing, crushing, impaling, shooting, decapitating, etc. and that's as far as their splatter inventiveness goes I'm afraid, but as long as you know what you're getting into, it can be amusing.

Kombate Brutal
This may be one of the most hard-working home-made movies you're likely to see. This is a Spanish spoof of Mortal Kombat by Adrián Cardona and no effort was spared to make it entertaining. The first half features silliness in the form of goofy training montages of a farmer who wants to compete in the ultimate fighting championship arena to the death, a bible-thumper killing his grandmother and becoming an evil master fighter with the help of a demon, and some qualifying fights with silly ninjas used as human punching bags. The second half is simply one fight after another between a couple dozen combatants in various colorful locations, with some over-the-top splatter death scenes involving geysers of blood and the ripping apart of bodies and body parts in homage to Peter Jackson. The fights vary in quality, especially considering this is a home-made movie, but there are many, the guys obviously have some background training, and the effort is appreciated and entertaining.

Last Rites of the Dead (AKA Zombies Anonymous)  
An interesting but flawed zombie movie. The zombies here act just like live people, even trying to keep their jobs, meet at Zombie support groups, eat raw meat instead of people, and deal with society's hatred for them, while their bodies decompose. A cult forms around a weird zombie girl that supports flesh-eating zombies as the new ideal, and another group forms around an angry woman in favor of massacring zombies. This setup and the depiction of a society trying to deal with the epidemic ranks amongs the best satirical zombie movies in the tradition of Romero. Unfortunately, the characterizations and some of the acting form poor caricatures, with the worst offenders being the ridiculous female group leaders which are acted over-the-top. The characters suffer under the writer's contrivances and never come alive, and this makes the movie uninvolving and amateurish. The gore scenes involve a wide variety of violence, beheadings and zombie munching and although they don't dwell on the carnage much there are simply so many of them that this practically becomes a splatter movie.

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (AKA The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue)  
Early British/Spanish/Italian zombie movie that jumped out of a grave right after Night of the Living Dead. A long-haired antique dealer gets his motorcycle run over by a whiny woman, their lives tied together for the next few days as he commandeers her car and drives to the country. A local ultrasound machine is having strange side-effects as dead people come back to life and go on a killing rampage while the cops blame it all on the poor antique dealer. There is relatively little gore but it is infamous for taking the first gruesome steps before Dawn of the Dead and features a few nasty scenes of breast and gut ripping. Interesting entertaining effort but flawed by a hollow dubbing job and numerous illogical plot devices just to give the director the scenes he needs.

Lone Wolf and Cub 2: Baby Cart at the River Styx  
The second in a series of six classic Japanese cartoonish Samurai violent movies based on a manga, and the most gory and over-the-top of the lot. Lone Wolf is an ex-Shogunate, Samurai assassin that chose the road to hell after being double-crossed by a powerful clan. In this road to hell, he wanders the country, offering his superb swordsmanship for hire and pushing his little boy around in a cart while fending off attackers and ninjas, usually sent by his nemesis. Both him and his boy have given up on an ethical normal life, yet retain Samurai honor. The killings are so over-the-top, blood geysers shoot 5 meters and dismembered limbs get flung about regularly. Violently entertaining with a strong, albeit somewhat one-dimensional main character, but mostly cartoonish with the expected Samurai codes of honor twisted beyond recognition. This and other sequels feel more like a Rambo sequel with swords, fancy moves and baby-cart super-weapons rather than anything serious.

Mad Mutilator (AKA Ogroff)  
A French version of Nathan Schiff. A man in a mask hops around in the woods chopping off children's heads, people's body parts and axing them, has a fight with a man and a chainsaw, has erotic fantasies with his axe, meets a soulmate in the form of a psychotic woman who is killing people in the woods, then the movie turns into a Texas Chainsaw clone, a zombie movie and then a vampire priest movie. Contains almost no dialogue, boasts horribly cheap but gleeful splatter effects, and features a cheap ambient electronic score. Entertaining in a mad, zero-budget way.

Midnight Meat Train, The  
Clive Barker's approach that is short on common sense and high on gruesome visions of hell, paired with Kitamura's over-the-top, b-movie, stylish, fanboy anime approach to making movies could only result in a visually rich but very empty horror movie. Leon is a photographer attempting to capture the gritty realism of the city and the attention of a gallery owner, but when he follows some punks into a subway he finds much more than he bargained for. Vinnie Jones is the scary subway killer, using various butcher's tools including his favorite meat tenderizer to carve up some late-night travellers. What follows is a lot of illogical behaviour, lots of splattery kill scenes of varied quality with eye-popping hammer blows, flesh carving and decapitation, hellish monstrosities, and stylish cinematography with Kitamura's typically artificial look and feel. For undemanding horror fans only.

Monster Man  
If Kevin Smith would have directed a tribute to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this may have been the result. A jerk and a virginal, anal-retentive nerd go on a road trip together to the annoyance of the nerd. The banter and humor is fast, obnoxious, funny and rude. Deep in redneck country, they encounter creepy people, aggressive vehicles and grotesque hints that all is not right in these backwoods. The gruesome but funny finale contains most of the splatter, but the movie is flawed with a cliched and silly plot twist, a silly climax where the bad guys explain everything endlessly, and a silly sex scene. Moderately entertaining.

Mucha Sangre  
Spanish zombie comedy probably inspired by Dusk 'til Dawn and Bad Taste. When the Spanish attempt a Tarantino you know things are going to get wild. When the movie features Paul Naschy as the chief of an alien group that sodomizes men in order to change them into zombies, then things are definitely out of control. Two escaped prisoners and a woman run to a village to get money from a local crime lord, but find out everyone is either being converted to zombies that regenerate their own body parts, or are being stored as food. Gore, twisted comedy, action, and John Woo shootouts ensue. The highlight is when they try to figure out how to kill a zombie for hours with a chainsaw. Unfortunately, there are too many dumb toilet jokes, the development is unsatisfying, and last third features endless silly shootouts instead of gore.

Mud Zombies  
Brazilian low-budget old-school zombie movie that is all about location and very good gooey splatter effects and makeup. A group of poor people living in a Brazilian mangrove and swamp try to make a living off the dying animal-life, including oysters and crustaceans. But the grove is polluted, rotting and full of corpses of people that didn't make it, and the oysters aren't as healthy anymore. When the dead start coming back to life, some survivors fight it out with a hatchet and grandmother medicines, while a timid man tries to protect his secret love. There is no CGI which is very good, the old-school gore is very well done albeit not too creative, the camerawork is very dynamic and tries to emulate Evil Dead, but doesn't quite make it half the time, the acting is passable, and the atmosphere is great. In short, a mixed bag but mostly good, and there's great fun to be had here for zombie-movie lovers. I just wish the writing had more personality or creativity.

Nasty Nancy
Half-length Croatian campy splatter that attempts to emulate gory Japanese vengeful schoolgirl craziness. There's this school where students can only pass exams by providing sexual favors for teachers. A group of teachers (that are just as young as the students) are invited to a deserted warehouse for a party, and soon find themselves victims of an angry girl with a katana in a miniskirt and skates. Low-budget splatter and camp ensues, which is kinda fun as long as you aren't expecting really creative gore. There's one fight scene involving a 'sextasy' super-penis, another involving spanking dismembered hands, and another with a naughty use of a katana.

Necrophagia: Nightmare Scenerios  
Another collection of various videos from the very mediocre, gore-obsessed death-metal band Necrophagia, most of them music videos with scenes of gore or horror. There's a lame Coffin Joe segment with lots of maniacal laughter, a throne of asses and some breast mutilation, lots of nasty and gritty worm-ridden gore from Fred Vogel, a tribute to Flowers of Flesh and Blood by Killjoy and Ryan Nicholson featuring a psychotic boyfriend cutting up his girl, a horror appearance by Naschy, and an uninteresting gore clip from Ryan Nicholson, all set against uninteresting death metal.

Neighborhood Watch (AKA Deadly End)  
A nasty horror movie with an unusual bad guy: The nastiest neighbour you can never imagine. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. A young couple move into a new house with strangely insane or physically sick neighbours. They slowly learn why, the hard way. This horror movie doesn't use standard violence and gore, but imaginative and nasty home-made biological warfare, wielded by a disturbingly insane man. It even has a masturbation scene that involves home-surgery guaranteed to offend everyone and anyone. The effects for most of the movie consist of nasty physical ailments and bodily fluids, then, for the grand finale, it knocks you out with stomach churning gore. The behaviour of some of the people and the amount of abuse they take is unrealistic, and the whole subplot involving his new job seems to have been mysteriously forgotten, but otherwise this is effective and unique horror.

Night of the Dead: Leben Tod  
A poor man's version of Re-Animator with bucketloads of splatter. The plot is a cliche: A doctor who lost his wife and child develops a serum to re-animate the dead, but the dead develop a hunger for flesh. As the doctor experiments and tries to improve the serum in a private clinic, things get increasingly out of hand as the masses of failed experiments take their revenge. An experimental pregnancy and a gore-loving assistant complicate matters. Some of the acting isn't bad for such a low budget, the splatter effects are way over-the-top and quite good, but the movie is dull, cliched and dumb. For example, in order to inject a serum into a dead man, they open up his whole abdomen first with scissors. Some humor would have helped as well.

Ninja Assassin  
What do you get when you take a ninja b-movie, give it a Hollywood budget and the Wachowski brothers as producers, and add a whole lot of splatter? Very simple: You get a high-priced ninja b-movie with gore. This has all the cliches of a bad ninja movie, except it has cool looking action scenes and for some reason, every hit or slice results in a bucket of blood. The ninjas start as invincible, supernatural, omnipotent, never-miss killers, where one ninja can evade bullets and kill a couple dozen armed people, but then, gradually throughout the movie, they become more and more useless as the hero and heroine need to survive more and more scenes, until one man with a gun can suddenly kill 10 ninjas. More stupid b-movie logic: Any bucket-of-blood-wound kills bad guys instantly, but the hero can survive a dozen of these. The primary goal of a ninja, stealth, is stupidly forgotten when ninjas in this movie, for some reason, warn people that they are about to appear with a message. And so on. It's still somewhat entertaining though, and if there was any doubt that splatter has gone mainstream, this should put that doubt to rest. Bodies are sliced in a myriad of ways here, all resulting in buckets of blood. The story? Rogue ninja teams up with rogue law-enforcement girl to fight other ninjas. I recommend the similar Crying Freeman instead which had more style, character and consistency.

Plaga Zombie  
Argentianian no-budget splatter comedy about aliens infecting the human race with a zombie virus that causes mayhem and buckets of gore. That's just the introduction though as most of the movie simply has three teenagers battling it out with the undead in very silly ways (splatstick, as Peter Jackson calls it). The non-stop gore is mostly of the multicolored paint and red porridge kind which detracts from the movie, but there are some good bits and the fights are inventive and tasteless fun, albeit silly. Watch it expecting a weak student movie in love with Jackson's Braindead, and you may enjoy it.

Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone  
A more creative follow-up brings back the three zombie warriors, dropped by the government in a zombie infested zone with hints of strange conspiracies and alien activity. At the beginning of the movie they successfully reproduce Peter Jackson's fun splatstick atmosphere with silly over-the-top fights and gory mayhem as bodies are torn apart and decapitated in various ways, intestines used as weapons and eyeballs played with. But then it takes a bizarre turn into wrestler worship, and a cartoonishly dramatic rivalry and jealousy develops between the fighters as all hell breaks loose around them. Messy but fun.

Project: Valkyrie  
Micro-budget campy horror-comedy fun done right for a change. It has flaws, and some scenes could have used heavy editing, but as long as you aren't expecting anything great, this is a really fun way to pass 80 minutes. Some dude heavily in debt finds a robot warrior left to him by his grandfather, but also unleashes a liquid virus that turns people into killer cybermen. When a group of Neo-Nazis get a hold of the virus, things get out of hand. Jim, his robot, and a Nazi's sister team up to fight the evil. Besides the fact that this movie has Nazi zombie-like monsters and a cheesy robot, it's all about the laid-back and funny attitude. Jim's quips when a loan shark or girl is beating the hell out of him are funny; he teaches the robot a children's game, has fun with a chainsaw, and so on. The splatter is right on the border, but there are at least two scenes of over-the-top chainsaw-splatstick mayhem. Light fun.

Purgatory
Well-made home-made 50 minute movie by R.F. Pangborn with enough material that could be expanded to a full-length, but it probably works better like this. A dead ex-soldier has been recruited by a strangely blood-thirsty child-angel-demon as a hit-man for the underworld. When a jar with super-powers is found, it causes chaos amngst the ranks. He uses a serrated machete to stab and slice his targets, with a couple of over-the-top splatter kills that would go well in a Peter Jackson movie. There are also stylized fight scenes between the soldier and some Christian warriors or other employees of the child-demon, and the movie focuses heavily on the rhythmic soundtrack, B&W cinematography and editing tricks.

Puppet Monster Massacre, The  
Gory horror muppet movies are still quite rare, so there is still room for entertaining movies in this genre. Unfortunately, this one is more like a juvenile campy horror movie with muppets rather than a demented, depraved and splattery movie in the likes of Meet the Feebles or even Team America. The plot involves a group of punks and geeks staying at a 'haunted' mansion occupied by a mad scientist. Sure, it has a mad Nazi scientist, farting bunnies, evil penguins, and a hungry monster, but the humor is mostly juvenile horny and fart jokes. It has over-the-top muppet splatter, but this is mostly limited to one scene of carnage and it isn't creative like Peter Jackson's work. In short, a bad movie, but mildly amusing only because of the novelty.

Rage, The  
A mad scientist out for revenge creates a confused rage virus that seems to be able to do everything: Mutate, bring back the dead, cause monstrous physical mutations, spread through blood, saliva and vomit to any species on the planet, and cause both uncontrollable rage and controllable near-immortality and power. Enter a group of horny teenagers in the woods (sigh) that have to fight furious zombies, super-buzzards, deadly leeches, a crazed scientist, and a silly pervert midget that appears out of nowhere. The splatter effects are over-the-top and very good, the energy of the movie is ferocious, lending some horrific moments, but this is all undone by weak writing, poor acting by the teenagers and terrible CGI effects for the fake-looking buzzards.

Red's Breakfast Trilogy/Red's Breakfast Experience    
Three silly splatter shorts by the maker of Die You Zombie Bastards featuring Red, a psychopath serial killer who likes having a girl's guts for breakfast. In the romantic second he finds the perfect wife with similar tastes and they both toast each other's future drinking blood out of their friend's leg stumps. The third is a short version of Die You Zombie Bastards. Low-budget silly violence and gore in the vein of Troma, and in Red's Breakfast Experience these three are wrapped in a making-of documentary telling how big a splash and controversy these movies made while the actors talk about their great cinematic experiences, all with tongues planted firmly in cheek.

Requiem for the Devil
More obscure German underground splatter, except this one has a Fulci vibe going for it with some horror atmosphere. The plot is simple, and, as usual with most German splatter, is just there in order to get to the gooey gory stuff: A man discovers his wife is cheating and kills her and her lover, who promptly come back as the vengeful undead to torture and kill their killer, only he isn't going down without a fight. There's a wide variety of relatively watchable gore for a home-made movie, including dismembering, face ripping, nasty poisons and razor blades in pasta sauce, and, of course, Fulci's favorite: eyeball violence.

Retardead  
By the makers of Monsturd, this follow-up not-quite-sequel is a significant improvement. Dr Stern (Helloween's Dr Stein?) from Monsturd is up to a new experiment, this time inflicted on 'special' people in an attempt to make them super smart. Side effects include death and eating of other people. In the meantime, the local police are on the trail of a pervert who stares at women and masturbates in public while taunting the police, but this concern is soon overwhelmed by an outbreak of zombies. The humor is campy and juvenile but amusing and entertaining, there is a bizarre scene involving an attack of six babe-zombies, some amusing fake super-cheesy horror movie trailers, an appropriate introduction by H.G. Lewis, a gratuitous visit to the porn shop and a random LSD trip, and a ton of splatter involving intestine-eating and ripping apart of bodies. This one is at the level of a good Troma movie.

Sadness, The  
This is like the child version of I Spit on Your Grave with gory violence and revenge instead of rape and revenge. For the first hour, the poor kid is shown being emotionally abused by her drug-addict parents and merciless bullies at school, then sold to Satanists for ritual sacrifice via drug-dealers. The second half features her methodical, gory and supernatural revenge on everyone in the movie, with some scenes involving graphic splatter of cutting bodies in half, eyeball drilling, disemboweling, injection of bleach and more. The soundtrack is appropriately pounding metal, the cinematography is well done, and the acting ranges from passable to good. Morally questionable, despite the tricky editing work done to keep the child away from the worst, and it does go on for too long, but it is still pretty good grindhouse horror.

Samhain (AKA Evil Breed)  
A movie fighting to be released by a hard-working producer who obviously put in a lot of effort to gather ingredients for an entertaining horror salad. The story is unoriginal and involves yet more teenagers in trouble, this time in Ireland facing an ancient evil in the woods that likes eating gore... I mean human flesh. Famous porn stars show their organs, both inside and out, the splatter is way over-the-top including a nasty scene involving a man's intestines pulled out through his anus, and a priceless scene where a porn star's silicon confuses the cannibal creature's palate. The creature effects are disturbing and well done as well. Dumb, but delivers as a party splatter horror movie.

Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf  
A retro Samurai/Western hybrid with elements of exploitation and splatter. A blind warrior is on a mission of revenge to kill the brutal man that killed his family, but along the way he has to confront a wide variety of henchmen, assassins, witches, zombies, and wandering warriors. Think of the Baby Cart series, with modern anachronisms, gratuitous nudity and skimpy girls that look like they came out of a porno, made in the US by a Japanese director with mixed Japanese/American actors. It's uneven, with some scenes reproducing the atmosphere of honor and ultra-violence, except there is always an element of camp. The narrator explains Samurai techniques and traditions during the fight, which gets a bit tiresome after a while, but this movie looks great and is pretty good fun for fans of the genre, as long as you aren't expecting anything more than a campy homage. The kills are over-the-top and bloody with graphic disemboweling, slicing, dismembering and a tricky maneuver with an unborn baby.

See No Evil  
Hungarian no-budget home-made campy horror by a couple of horror fans. Two assassins are hired to kill some girl, who just happens to be related to some cannibalistic serial killer who keeps a collection of gory body parts and zombies in his house. It's all very silly, complete with dumb dialogue, nonsensical plot, and cartoonish sound effects of cheering and farts, but the movie is what it is and they just have fun with it. The splatter involving a gore smorgasboard, slashings and goofy gut-munching, is limited to a couple of scenes only.

Sex, Lies and Video-Violence  
A silly but funny and very entertaining Swedish movie dealing with the effect of movie violence on people. A man who loves violent movies starts having hallucinations where characters from movies enter the real world and starts attacking him and his friends. He soon learns to fight back though in a glorious rampage of violence and gore. This soon becomes a name-the-movie-fest with characters and scenes popping up from Die Hard, Robocop, Alien, Clockwork Orange, a Peter Jackson splatter scene, Thriller (of course), etc. and various cameos from Swedish actors and Mel Brooks. The gore is sparse but over-the-top and fun.

Shadow: Dead Riot  
Inspired by Ricky-Oh, blending horror, zombies, prison violence and the women in prison exploitation genres, one would think this would be at least highly entertaining camp. But it barely passes the mark with silly horror, borderline splatter, and not enough titillation. The fight scenes are surprisingly choreographed, bringing to mind a weak Hong-Kong flick, the gore may be uncreative but is incessant, and there's always the flying gore-munching baby a la Braindead to fall back on.

Silo Killer 2: The Wrath of Kyle  
Killing is fun. Fun fun fun. This silly redneck-Western-zombie-slasher-whatever movie has fun with zombies, a 'silo killer' slasher who is some guy in a bearded mask with an axe, bounty hunters, a silly foul-mouthed politician, a 'White Knight Ninja of Sorts' in training, and a host of other characters that are just having fun, but mostly they're all there to serve as targets for fun killings. The 'retarded-cousin' is indestructible as well as a retard, so killing him is double the fun, and then he comes back for more. Postmen or random passers-by say something a touch annoying so they are shot, zombies are fun to decapitate, and when they run out of bodies, why not just bring in the devil dressed up as Darth Maul to have a light-saber fight with the ninja? Sure, why not. The actors are having fun with all the silliness without acting retarded, and that's a big plus. The unimaginative gore is just the same three excessively bloody effects repeated many dozens of times: bullet squibs, axe-blood-geysers, and decapitations.

Simon Says  
I'd pair this together with Wrong Turn 2. This is a by-the-numbers slasher that focuses on just having over-the-top campy, gory fun. The same old group of very annoying oversexed teenagers take their time setting up in a camping site in a forest before the local bizarre hillbilly psychopath arrives and starts carving them up one by one with dozens of pickaxes and very sophisticated booby traps. The traps include a spinning log covered in pickaxes, and huge gun contraptions that fire pickaxes, there's one very gory squashed dog under a boot, a human head converted into a CD player, and there's even death by huge spliff. The gore doesn't linger, but the deaths and fight scenes are ridiculously over-the-top and relentless. The number one reason to watch this however, is Crispin Glover in a dual role of frighteningly oddball serial killer, who is let loose by the directors to perform one of his most grippingly bizarre performances yet. And that's saying a lot.

Skinned Alive  
An attempt at Bad Taste by way of Mother's Day. I.e. trashy and goofy slapstick splatter. Unfortunately it gets too dumb but the silly middle is bookended by some entertaining over-the-top gore. A trio of trashy mother, inept brother and violent sister run around skinning people for their leather... I mean skin. When they run across an ex-cop with an abusive ex-wife, his temper flares and the blood flies. Features skinning, slicing, blowing apart by machine gun, disemboweling and more. Gory entertainment for when you're bored.

Slashers  
Another reality TV spoof that is a B-movie blend of Running Man and Scream. Volunteering contestants are sent into the zone where slashers are on the prowl and camera men follow the bloody action. Can the contestants trust each other while they run for their lives and for the chance to win millions of dollars? As with Scream, this is a self-aware movie that makes fun of slasher movie cliches while still being a slasher movie. The gore isn't prevalent but when it's there, it's over the top. Below average acting and unrealistic characters, but a somewhat entertaining B-movie nevertheless.

Slices of Life  
One of the benefits of anthologies is that if you don't like something, it's usually over quickly and you look forward to the next one. This is a poor one with some good entertaining moments and ideas, but with a very amateurish execution and bad acting. It also features Tales-of-the-Crypt type of ironic/moralistic twists. The wrapper tale, as usual, feels thrown in as an afterthought about a girl with no memory who reads ghoulish stories in books that come alive. The first is a very unrealistic and badly written story of a friendless geek who gets his hands on nano-technology that allows him to control other people's desires via e-mail. The virus gets out of hand in seconds as his office turns into a chaotic place full of mutating lustful self-mutilating creatures. The second is a ghost story with bad CGI effects and a predictable twist. The third is the goriest and best one with sexual horror involving a parasite and an incestual rapist uncle. The deaths are gory, but the splatter only really goes over-the-top for the last one.

Slime City  
Goofy green goo movie about a guy who moves into an old apartment with a dark secret. After eating some 'Himalayan Yogurt' and some unnamed green liquid at the punk neighbour's house and getting seduced by the vampiric overly-friendly girl next-door, his body starts sweating goo and porridge and he gets urges to kill people. His friends worry about him but he starts liking some of the changes when his stomach bites off a muggers arm. The climax features most of the gore, with dismembering and a crawling brain.

Smash Cut  
A pretty good homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis featuring the man himself as the presenter. The story is about a b-movie, gore and horror director that breaks after being harshly put down by his audience, and starts creating more realistic gore movies in the only way he can imagine: By creating his own real dead bodies and body parts out of the people he knows and dislikes. The campy, cheap, silly but entertaining feel of the movie is almost just right, the gore at first is surprisingly lacking, but delivers some cheap and over-the-top scenes in the second-half featuring dismembering and eye-gouging.

Stitches  
Now this is more like it. I hate slasher movies, and there are so many of them, it has become like the porno genre where points are given to the creativity and juiciness of the killer, and the creativity and gratuitousness of the gore, but otherwise the plot is always the same. This one takes this idea and runs with it to an extreme, and just has fun with it. A clown is killed at a children's birthday party in a seriously demented slapstick accident. The kids grow up with issues, but little do they know that the clown belonged to a clown cult that can store clown souls in eggs. When the teenage kids throw another party, the clown comes back for revenge. This is all about the one-liners, and detailed, gleeful over-the-top, creative old-school splatter. Included are things like dismembered genitals floating on balloons, and balloon animals with intestines. It's fun and gruesome at the same time, it's just a pity it's the slasher-killing-teenagers format and that the humor is sadistic rather than witty or splatstick.

Sudden Fury  
An indie British Reservoir Dogs that ups the ante where gore is concerned but unfortunately lacks in thespian skills and storyline. Violent (teenage) criminal gangs and individuals are at each other throats over stolen drugs, with double-crossings flying in all directions. This is the whole plot, which basically is enough of an excuse to show endless bloody shootings, violence, and some surprisingly gory scenes of disembowelment, throat slashing, neck sawing and face burning. Borderline splatter.

Switchblade Romance (Haute Tension)  
As someone who despises practically every slasher movie out there, I was very surprised when this started off as a superb slasher. Two female friends spend the weekend in the country with the family when an intelligent, thorough and brutal psychopath starts massacring them all. The tension is exquisite and relentless a la Panic Room, the gore is gleefully excessive even featuring sex with a severed head, the acting and direction intense. But all this is undermined by yet another idiotic twist ending.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2  
A high-budgeted revisitation and sequel many years later by Hooper himself. The result is a loss of all realism and the original disturbing, horrifying effect replaced by twisted, gory and even humorous entertainment with fancy sets full of Fellini-esque imagery. The story revolves around a relative of one of the original victims psychotically obsessed with finding and killing the murderers with his own chainsaw, and a female radio DJ who overheard a recent chainsaw murder take place and consequentially gets involved. The twisted family is still very much demented in various ways and nastily preoccupied with human slaughter, skin, bone and edible flesh.

Traveler, The  
Low-budget evil flick full of unrealized potential. The script is somewhat interesting, involving a group of people who find themselves stuck in an evil house where they are forced by the devil to make some terrible choices while they are tortured and killed in gruesome, gory ways. But the writing needed some fine-tuning and development and the acting and directing are extremely flat and dull.

2001 Maniacs  
A campy homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis's classic splatter movie featuring good ol' Southern hospitality in the form of ghostly, gore-hungry Southern locals that like to party and celebrate their hate for Northerners with some gruesome sadism. Some passing youths are seduced into joining the festival full of booze and cleavage and find out too late what's in store for them. Campy, over-the-top death scenes ensue with gleeful sadism, wisecracks and creativity, including death by acid, horse-quartering, smashing under a huge bell, impalement and others. Despite the campy, over-the-top sadistic approach however, the actual gore is borderline conventional for modern movies of its kind, with only about two scenes of extreme splatter. Followed by a very lame sequel

Unmasked Part 25 (AKA Hand of Death)  
A satire on Friday the 13th slasher movies featuring a sensitive slasher with a face like the Toxic Avenger who can't resist his fate to brutally tear apart teenagers' faces and carve them up. His bum of a father philosophizes about his upbringing, his teenage victims have sex and stumble on tree roots right on cue to get impaled, and the girls are terribly boring when they scream and run. Enter a blind girl who falls in love with him and tries to teach him romance and S&M. Will he live a normal life or is he doomed to kill everyone and appear in endless sequels?

Voodoo Curse - Legba's Rache  
Low budget German zombie-gore. A drugged-out young man has prophetic nightmares about zombies before joining a group of goths that have their minds set on performing an incantation in a cemetary to communicate with the dead. Unfortunately, they awaken a powerful voodoo curse and find themselves chased by zombies and the general evil undead wherever they go. The movie takes a while to get going but keeps improving in its entertainment levels, gore-effects and atmosphere. The splatter features a wide variety of old-school over-the-top squashy, bloody and gooey violence to various body parts and intestines, and the zombie effects are pretty good. A fairly entertaining way to pass the time as long as you are looking for yet more zombie-splatter and aren't expecting greatness.

Werewolf in a Women's Prison  
Some bad movies think they are good, others just have fun being bad. This one is definitely the latter. Mixing a werewolf horror movie with Women in Prison exploitation as well as over-the-top splatter should give you an indication of its intentions. A girl finds herself in a third-world prison after being attacked by a werewolf. The expected dykes, girl-fights, sadistic guards, rapist guards, nudity and local mercenaries ensue, except this time a gore-hungry werewolf is thrown into the mix, with Japanese style splatter scenes involving buckets of blood, lots of flesh-ripping and dismemberment, all so over-the-top that it's campy. This won't disappoint fans of entertainingly bad b-movies.

Wither  
This 'Swedish Evil Dead' features youngsters vacationing in a cabin in the woods, finding evil that possesses them and much carnage. The unoriginality didn't bother me, especially since all of the remakes are much more blatant in their plagiarism, and also because there is much to like here and it is definitely much better than the Hollywood Evil Dead remake. The splatter effects and makeup are ubiquitous, superb, very vicious and convincing, keeping it real without going over-the-top to turn it into a splatstick movie. Another great element is the last fifteen minutes that features a completely different type of evil dead: Confused and semi-human but also bloodthirsty, instinctual and creepy, adding a disturbing dimension to the creatures that is criminally underused. If they had made the whole movie like this, it would have been superb (see Zombie Honeymoon). Unfortunately, the writing until then cannot decide on anything. The undead are invincible then a wide variety of things kill them, they are aggressive then passive, unaware of their surroundings then smart, focused on infecting everyone as soon as possible then just performing confused random violence, completely bestial then human. In Evil Dead, everything was a nihilistic attack even when they emulated humans, but here they are contradictory. Also, the infection here is inconsistent. The humans aren't much better, with motivations that stop making sense after a while. For example, in Evil Dead, the evil comes from the forest, forcing them to remain in the cabin, but what is keeping them in the cabin in this one when all of the dangers are obviously only in the cabin? In short, the writers obviously sacrificed realism and consistency just for the chance to keep throwing bodies at each other and maintain the carnage and violence. Classify this as 'could have been great'.

Wizard of Gore, The (2007)  
After the campy remakes of Blood Feast and 2000 Maniacs, along comes this remake of another Herschell Gordon Lewis splatter classic with a different approach. This one re-imagines and upgrades the reality-bending aspects of the original into a convoluted plot about a journalist on the tracks of the gore-magician. Crispin Glover delivers another over-the-top performance as the magician who performs gory acts on the audience that may or may not be hallucinations. Jeffrey Combs is wasted as the sidekick that eats worms and mice, and Brad Dourif chews more scenery as the weird healer, and yet the movie focuses on the boring reporter with a taste for noir-retro clothes and props who tries to figure out the mystery of the magic and why he keeps dreaming about real gory deaths happening after the magic act. The horror isn't bad, the visual style is superb, but the last part is very confusing and convoluted. Also, if you are expecting campy splatter you will be disappointed. There is one over-the-top scene of disemboweling, the rest is nothing you haven't seen in a hundred horror movies but Crispin Glover squeezes a manic intensive glee out of every drop of CGI blood he extracts from some skanky Suicide Girls models using gruesome stage torture devices.

Wound
See Extreme Movies.

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End  
While the first movie was straightforward but intense backwoods horror and one of the best of its kind, this sequel opts for pulp-camp gore and violence. The great opening of a body cut vertically and neatly in half sets the tone of over-the-top gore, and the rest of the movie sets up some teens in a survivor-like Reality TV show, with a cameraman tellingly wearing a Battle Royale t-shirt. The cannibalistic inbred mutant hillbillies appear in no time, but this time they are up against a badass Henry Rollins as the tough soldier-host of the show, and they mix superhuman violence with cannibalism, a Texas Chainsaw dinner-table scene, and some gross-out breeding, sex and peeping-tom scenes. Features a variety of entertaining gory violence, exploding bodies, and a Vegan forced to eat human flesh.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead  
The backwoods mutants have now been converted into silly cartoon characters much like they did to Freddy Krueger, and they are therefore no longer scary, the writing is dumb, and the acting no longer packs any punch, but this is still minimally entertaining in a campy b-movie splatter way, much like the Elm Street sequels. Within the first three minutes, the movie provides boobs and over-the-top splatter (bad CGI) death scenes, then it proceeds to pit a group of stereotypical escaped cons against cops and hunter mutants in the woods. But the cons seem to talk and argue endlessly instead of killing, so the only thing left are the slightly inventive gory deaths involving slicing a body into three, barbed wire booby traps, eating a live brain, vicious hook impalements, and so on.

Zombibi (AKA Kill Zombie!)  
Fun Dutch zombie-comedy that is too cartoonish and unoriginal to be another Shaun of the Dead. A Moroccan office worker with a crush on a hot office-girl finds himself in prison with his slacker brother and two black men. While they bicker and annoy a pretty blonde police-woman, the world goes to hell when a satellite crashes onto the city, turning everyone into green-goo-infected zombies. He tries to convince the rest of the gang to join him in rescuing the office girl but everyone is too busy trying to survive with weapons that range from an office stapler to a bowling ball. There is plenty of fun to be had in this one, but the tone is just a bit too silly and childish. The classic horror-comedies balance the comedy with at least some edgy horror, and this is just all silly and not creative enough. The level of gore is also borderline and never quite feels like a splatter movie even though there is a lot of splattery mayhem going on, due to several reasons: Green goo just doesn't have the same effect as blood (see Class of Nuke 'em High for another example), and much of it is CGI or off-screen. In short, like a cartoon, good for a one-time fun watch with popcorn.

Zombie Commando  
Strictly by-the-numbers, uncreative German zombie splatter but it's still slightly entertaining action. You know the drill by now: A virus escapes a chemical factory, infecting one man then spreading quickly amidst passersby, including a bunch of punks. A professional team (a bunch of youngsters) are sent to retrieve it, they battle it out with the zombies in the forest amidst much grue and blood while they fall to the plague one by one. The gore is also what you'd expect involving an extended rampage in the forest: a lot of bloody shootings, intestine munching, and slightly more splattery set pieces when they run out of bullets and use anything else they find to get at the zombies' brains, including axes and branches.

Zombie Cult Massacre  
Energetic garage zombie movie that manages to keep things entertaining despite its low budget. Zombies mix with a cult of religious fanatics who brainwash a passing couple with mescaline and power-tools. An insane cult leader tells girls they have been chosen to accept his seed, the devil, in painfully bad computer-effect dream sequences, plagues the latest brainwashed victim into beliefs of immortality, rulership and Armageddon, a local biker gang declares war on the cult, and zombies bite chunks out of people while being blown apart by shotguns. The splatter is over-the-top, highlights including munching of huge breasts and a fetus.

Zombie Strippers!  
A campy b-movie that delivers on the gore, nudity and zombies. A rogue special-forces soldier crawls into an illegal strip joint after being bitten by an experimental zombie. A stripper is the first to go, but when she comes back with a sizzling living-dead stripping performance, things start getting out of hand. Customers are taken to the back room and eaten, living strippers become jealous of dead ones (including a devout Christian down on her luck and a goth-girl), the dead ones start rotting away, and the zombies accumulate in the basement, but the owner (Robert Englund) and audience are too excited to stop the madness. The gore is mostly pretty good CGI with a great jaw-ripping scene, plenty of flesh munching and various other violent acts, including a pole-dancing duel and vaginal ping-pong balls as weapons.
Worthless

Abomination, The  
A truly dismal gore version of Little Shop of Horrors that has a guy get infected by a tumor that his mother coughed up after being healed by a preacher, only to have it produce offspring. Cody coughs up little tumors while the one inside him controls him into murdering people and feeding the flesh to the rapidly growing monsters with huge teeth. Lots of laughably bad splatter, completely flat acting, a narration that is out of an Ed Wood movie, and dubbed/looped dialog and screaming. So terrible it's funny. OK, maybe not that funny.

Alien vs. Ninja  
This Japanese bubble-gum splatter craze just keeps getting sillier every year. Imagine a children's movie with the mentality of a bad and cheesy Power Rangers movie, only with splatter and juvenile smut humor. A group of cartoonishly young and good-looking ninjas wearing fashion-statement ninja-suits are sent to the forest to investigate a fireball from the sky. Before you can say 'where's the plot', they get involved in a series of battles with super-fast-and-dangerous actors in obvious and silly alien-suits. Their speed and abilities change according to the current scene requirements, and they just keep changing weapons and locations until the final climax involving possessed-zombie ninjas. Body parts fly and blood geysers erupt, but even if you only have a few brain cells, they should reject this bottom-rung attempt at entertainment.

Animal Soup  
British pocket-change extreme nasty that uses the old & hairy device of backwoods inbred killers by way of August Underground gratuitous sadism, and which looks like a really old Schnaas movie. In other words, there is no plot, just groups of campers in the woods waiting to be butchered and tortured by a bunch of nasty, retarded, sadistic and perverse wackos (some guys that turned up chew-the-scenery-mode to 13). The acting, cinematography, sound, pacing and even continuity are all horrible, and the special effects are mostly cheap and obvious with some nasty exceptions. Features feces, vomit, urine, organ-chopping, face-skinning, beheading, torture with nails, hammers and drills as well as with body fluids and feces, and so on. Dull and pointless cheap nastiness.

Attack Girls Swim Team Vs. The Undead  
I suppose not every Japanese exploitation director can pull it off like Miike. This sloppy title tries to entertain with its whimsical plotting, gore and loads of nudity, but the result is too dumb. A zombie outbreak in school seems to have missed the swim team which promptly declares war on the faculty. A mysterious new girl with fighting skills joins them and manages to have a lesbian encounter during the mass killings and other plot confusions. This movie features weak gore with off-screen killings and just lots of flying limbs and blood, a juggling teacher that kills students, a flute as an irresistible aphrodisiac, a genital laser, and endless multiple idiotic plot twists at the end.

Automaton Transfusion  
Teenagers vs. zombies in a horribly made low-budget movie with good gore, proving that not all zombie movies are entertaining. A zombie outbreak plagues a city that seems to have no radio or TV news, and before you know it, everyone is undead except for some oblivious teenagers. There's no plot, most of the movie consisting of vignettes as zombies kill people at random and escaping teenagers go on a killing rampage, until a stupid government conspiracy angle is tacked on to the end. Splatter includes gut, fetus and limb munching, jaw-ripping, chainsaws, etc. The fatal flaws are the lack of story and characters, zombies that run, pose, show emotional reactions and move human-like around their prey, an idiotic cliffhanger ending, and a cameraman who likes shaking the camera way too much. How hard can it be to make your actors act like zombies?

Autopsy (2008)  
There is a terrifying horror movie about hospitals waiting to be made that exploits many of our fears. This bad movie is like a tease of what could have been, with some good elements, but an overall stupid experience. It has the mentality of a dumb b-movie except it has a bigger budget, with Robert Patrick as a doctor (enough said) Some driving teenagers get into an accident with a strange pedestrian, and before you know it, they are whisked away to a strange hospital where things gradually get more and more insane and gruesome. The gore includes graphic bizarre surgery, autopsies on the living, head-drilling and mountains of body parts, some used like lego. Nonsensical and poor, with some (wasted) potential.

Avogardo: Murmansk Mutation
Bottom-of-the-barrel obscure German splatter by 'Siggi Sick'. If your idea of a splatter movie is to watch a bunch of young guys mug for the camera and pretend to be badass mutant cannibalistic drug-dealers in a wide variety of locations with store-bought intestines as splatter-effects, then be my guest. These people don't just chew the scenery, they do it very badly and most of them can't contain their grinning while they're doing it. It would be one thing if they were doing fun or entertaining things, but this is the type of movie where only the actors are having fun, not the audience. The 'plot' involves a new drug that mutates people at random (bad masks and prosthetic penises), that makes them all into violent sex-starved cannibals, and this tells the story of a gang of thugs and a mad scientist that want to take over the world. Which is basically saying that it's just an excuse for a bunch of guys to yell and overact a lot, perform violent acts on each other, play with intestines, have sex with intestines and mutated penises, and pad the rest of the movie with footage of friends and their trips abroad.

Back from the Dead  
Rare Peter Jackson wannabe release from Australia that unfortunately relies on toilet humor, endless fart jokes, silly slapstick and actors that think they're funny instead of having real wit. The splatter is there however. A mad ex-nazi scientist experiments with regression therapy to explore a local's past lives, in one of which he is a psychotic killer cannibal. His girlfriend's mum who is wheelchair bound and has a pet tapeworm, is near-psychotic herself and their personalities clash for an over-the-top gory climax.

Back Woods
See Extreme Movies.

Big Tits Dragon, The  
More weirdo bubble-gum splatter from Japan with young girls as protagonists, but not at the insane levels of Nishimura. A group of strippers encounter a book of spells and a well of souls in the basement of the strip club, and promptly raise the dead. They fight it out of course, with chainsaws and swords, causing many lame scenes of CGI blood splatter, and over-the-top geysers from decapitations, body-slicing and dismemberments, but the club owner still tries to get away with not paying them. In the middle of all this, the movie enjoys surprising with some random bizarre scenes involving a toothy vagina that shoots fire, a blue demon, and a pervert dwarf. Silly and uncreative, and don't expect too many bare breasts despite the title.

Blackaria  
French homage to giallo, but unlike the fascinating Amer, this is just a series of kill and nudity scenes with a few elements of a brainless, nonsensical plot thrown in the beginning and end of the movie. It's all about the snuff and nudity with an emphasis on style, fashion and atmosphere, except it feels like a copy-and-paste job from a dozen movies and directors, including colorful Argento-esque horror, some useless DePalma split screens, Fulci eyeball trauma, repetitive dream/vision/hallucination scenes of nightmarish kills, and more. The gore is very graphic, with close-ups of slicing and eyeball abuse. But it's all very dull, pointless and empty. Released together with the very similar Last Caress.

Blood Frenzy  
Another 80s slasher movie with above-average gore in the vein of Friday the 13th, and with movie-makers that like zooming in on their handiwork, which is no surprise seeing as the director is a pornographer. A doctor takes her group of psychiatric patients to the desert for some 'confrontational therapy'. Her group is one-of-each, like some reality-show: A nymphomaniac, a traumatized war veteran, an alcoholic, a lesbian(?), a woman who fears to be touched, and an aggressive macho man. Looks like she is going to get plenty of confrontation eh? But there is a killer loose, linked to the opening scene where a father is gorily slashed by his child, leading to a typically nonsensical denouement, slashing torture of a woman, and a pretty bloody climax with more zooming than creativity.

Blood Night  
Just another slasher movie, except this one has a female killer and the gore quota is very high. And that's all there is to say really, because this plot is so routine, it's beyond dull. A killer child, an insane asylum, abuse, an escape, a teenage sex party, lots of deaths and chases and so on. Axes to the face, sliced head, scissored head, pickaxes, slashings, all gleefully gory and over the top, but of medium quality.

Blood on the Highway  
If horror is difficult to do right, then comedy is even more so. This hybrid has the wit of a teenage fratboy on pot. There are a handful of laughs to be had here, but the rest of the movie overwhelms with idiocy and attempts at comedy falling flat. An obnoxious girl, an obnoxious muscle-bound ex-boyfriend, and an even more obnoxious weasel boyfriend go on a road trip and encounter a town of vampires. That's it really, the movie focusing on dialogue, silly cartoonish characters, and some campy fight scenes with buckets of blood. Characters talk forever as if they were in love with their dialogue, assuming that every word they utter is comedy-gold. The gore goes over-the-top in some scenes but it's mostly lots and lots of blood splatter and ripped off limbs, making this a borderline splatter movie. The funniest parts usually involve the locals consisting of slacker vampires and their silly attempts at being scary, but the heroes are all too annoying to enjoy.

Bloodrape  
A hardcore thrashpunk band that eats its audience sounds like a fun topic for a movie right? Not if its this painfully amateurish with a cast that looks like emo-goth mallrats posing as evil vampires and chewing the scenery. An all-girl band called Bloodrape, that once ate their audience, is making a grand comeback (in someone's living room). Two teenage guys get more than they bargained for when they go to the concert, but are left alive because only they know how to use a camcorder (its not rocket science guys, really). They tour, eat random people with weak blood effects, and then the director decides to try his hand at nasty gore and trash with castrations, blood orgies, wild slashings, vomit, and a montage of genital mutilations, but it's too amateurish to have any effect. George Kuchar made an appearance here right before he died.

BloodRage (Blutrausch)
Another underground German splatter release with no imagination. A sack-wearing cannibal killer and his mom kill and eat passersby in the woods. When two buddy fishermen are caught by this dynamic duo, it becomes a struggle for survival as more and more people become involved and get themselves killed. Features a handful of darkly-lit splatter scenes involving a chainsaw, dismemberment and decapitations, and there is a silly twist ending, but there's nothing creative.

BloodRayne  
In its unrated version, this Hollywood piece of excrement is actually a border splatter movie thanks to Ittenbach's involvement with the special effects. Warriors from a vampire killer society team up with a sexy half-human half-vampire to do battle with a powerful vampire (Ben Kingsley of all people) and his army. Terrible acting, idiotic script, anachronisms from here to eternity, many of them having to do with modern female behaviour and slutty dress in the 18th century, extremely lame fight scenes and a director who didn't know what to do with all the splatter so he concentrated most of it in a stupid flashback scene towards the end of the movie.

Blood Shed, The  
I suppose this would be the result if John Waters made an homage to backwoods horror movies. Incestual, trashy, cross-dressing, ugly hillbillies in the forest prance about with dead animals, argue, play games, over-act, and kill neighbours and wanderers. That's it for the plot, the rest is over-the-top campy and trashy acting with some silly splatter and nasty genital torture. There's a scene where they literally pull apart a young boy, and a silly dinner-table scene that doesn't quite have the same effect as in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank  
Babes from Burbank and their boyfriends search for archeological finds by walking through the woods. The Babes find a box full of gems that turn women into man-eaters (literally), get naked a lot and fight each other for it, while others try to stop the epidemic. Cheesy body-part gore and bad special effects ensue. The beginning is definitely in the so-bad-it's-good genre, but it just keeps getting lamer and sillier until your brain focuses on drying paint instead.

Blutnacht 2 (Blood Night 2 - Return of the Demon)
What sets this German splatter movie apart from most others of its ilk is the fact that it employs a lot of humor. Unfortunately, it's of the juvenile, silly toilet and witless kind. Twenty years ago, a group of gothic youngsters called up a demon in the woods (except for some guy who got bored and went into the bushes to get a blowjob while evil was waking up, and we all know how that ends), and now, a new group of young oversexed fodder is served. So there's this 'demon' who really likes to methodically dismember bodies with chainsaws and wheelbarrows instead of supernatural forces, and the makers of the film just let loose with buckets of cow intestines, livers and blood as if bodies are just butcher-refuse bags waiting to be sliced open. Except that the demon is some dude in a leather jacket and cheap mask/gloves, there's a weird guy running around the forest with his pants down and 'I Heart Ham' painted on his butt who likes to rape dead disemboweled bodies, and, just so you know, when the demon gets bored, he also kills by diarrhea. I found it too repetitive, uninspired and silly to enjoy.

Body Melt
See Extreme Movies.

Body Shop, The (AKA Doctor Gore)  
A mad scientist and his hunchback assistant collect female body parts from live, pretty girls to build the perfect mate. The doctor then teaches her about affection and life but starts having difficulties keeping her around. This was made by the special effects collaborator of H.G Lewis and it obviously tries and fails to capture the cheaply entertaining camp values of Lewis' films. The stupidity level is extremely high and there isn't any camp, comedy, continuity, acting chops, or anything else of interest. There is hardly any gore but when it's there, it involves over-the-top dismemberment and is surprisingly convincing.

Brainjacked  
Brainless and sloppy sci-fi about mind-control that obviously focused more on the gore effects than on the script. A doctor is adopting runaways with migraines and social problems, and curing them by drilling holes into their foreheads (calling it 'trepanation'). His gang of devotees seem very happy and willing, but this idyllic setting soon falls apart when Tristan notices odd blank periods in his life, and a war with another gang has unexpected consequences. The laughable surgery procedure is performed with a wobbly drill attached to the doctor's arm and with no basic hygiene or sense of biology. The premise makes no sense since the gang seems to have free-will and their full personalities most of the time, yet they don't notice anything odd. The amateur actors are obviously trying too hard. In short, all you're left with is the imagery of people running around with bloody holes in their heads and the gleefully over-the-top drilling splatter.

Butcher, The  
Korean extreme nasty that combines torture-porn with gore and the found-footage genre. The gimmick here is that you experience the movie mostly from the victim's point of view, as well as sometimes from the torturer's point of view, since both of them have cameras strapped onto their heads and are taking part in a snuff movie within the movie, managed by a 'director' who is bored with his job. The whole movie takes place in a warehouse, starting with psychological horror as the victims slowly realize what is about to happen to them, and then a couple is tortured in various ways by a bestial sodomizer in a pig mask, in an attempt to make the snuff footage more 'artistic'. Graphic chainsaw dismemberment and eye-gouging bring to mind the Guinea-Pigs, and the couple is toyed with and sadistically played off each other as the director gets bored with repeating the same old dismemberment. If the gore doesn't put you off your lunch, the extremely shaky head-cameras will. In other words, mostly a nasty and very pointless waste of time, except for the barb at US audiences where the director says the Americans will buy anything of this sort. Of course, that doesn't stop the Koreans from making it.

Cannibal Apocalypse  
Banned by the over-zealous UK 'video nasty' board but actually very tame considering it's a cannibal/zombie hybrid. Soldiers bring back a rabies-like contagious disease from vietnam that compels them to cannibalize people. Lots of action and bloody biting ensue as the police force and psychiatric ward try to keep the epidemic under control. There's some flesh ripping, neck biting, and the piece-de-resistance: a huge gaping hole in a man's torso after several shotgun blasts. Dull and surprisingly tame.

Cannibal Campout  
Dire low-budget backwoods horror movie with cannibalism and sporadic comedy. Teenagers camp in the woods. Backwoods folk, one of them wearing a pilot's helmet, chase them around, hit on the girls and kill them. The gore is mostly lame blood splatter but after a whole hour delivers a couple of disemboweling and de-embryonifying splatter scenes.

Cannibal Massacre  
Silly Spanish splatter comedy obviously inspired by Texas Chainsaw complete with an insane and filthy family dealing with human flesh, hammers to the head, a chainsaw, and a manic dinner scene with a girl tied to a chair. A car breaks down, a group of youngsters fall into the hands of some insane killers, various limbs are chopped off, a baby's brain is sucked through a straw, a girl tries to escape and fight back, etc etc. The gore is cheap but over-the-top, some sleaze involving rape and a nymphonaniac sister is thrown in for good measure, the acting is horrible, the comedy silly, and the characters talk on and on annoyingly. Gives a new meaning to the phrase 'a woman's place is in the kitchen'.

Chainsaw Zombies Redux  
Allegedly once a 27-minute short revisited 10 years later and expanded to 34 minutes, although I am not sure why anyone would do this as it is wholly an unremarkable, unoriginal and uninteresring splatter short. A killer is raised from the dead with blood (we've never heard that one before, right?), and he promptly runs around in a rampage killing a group of campers (ditto). But it's really just another chance for Germans to show endless repetitive scenes of chainsaw mayhem, with limbs, organs and heads flying amidst a bucket of blood.

Corpse Eaters  
Early, terrible Canadian zombie movie with a couple of gleeful gore scenes. The horribly messy plot involves a group of horny teenagers who raise the dead at a cemetary as well as a mortuary and its drunk owner. The dead munch on some guts, eat some eyeballs, and give a girl some bad, bloody dreams but the movie is a messy bore.

Crossclub: The Legend of the Living Dead  
A terribly cheap German action/horror movie with questionable claims to being a splatter movie. The plot is convoluted and involves a boy who was saved from sacrifice by a cult as a baby, a power-hungry mafia boss, an evil island, lots of military action, and a secret formula that brings back the dead. There's lots of cheesy action with guns, helicopters and grenades, a magical voodoo priest that can disappear, cheap special effects that look like they were drawn on the negative, and the splatter only makes an appearance during the last 20 minutes consisting of lots of gut-munching by zombies.

Dark Town  
Empty and dull vampire movie bordering on the gratuitous gore but not satisfactory in that department either. A family, one pregnant girl, local drug gangs, a neighbourhood watch, and a lesbian couple clash one night and feed on each other in a rampage of violence as they all infect each other and start a feeding frenzy. That's it, now you can skip it.

Dawn of the Mummy  
This is one of those cheesy horror movies that some people like to watch just for its entertaining awfulness. It also has the distinction of being the goriest mummy movies of its time (in its uncut version), copying the gore and style of Romero and Fulci zombie movies and it would fit right in with those except that most of the gore is left for the finale, and you have to bear 90 minutes of cheesiness to get there. Some illegal gold diggers come across a tomb in Egypt, but a troupe of models and photographers get in their way of finding the gold. Features an old lady screaming warnings, mummies that rise thanks to bright spotlights, hysterical models, and a man who chews the scenery when he finds gold, until the scenery chews him.

Dead Creatures  
A low-budget zombie movie with a twist: There is no action or horror, only a drama about regular dull people catching a disease that makes them rot slowly and eat other humans. So the (mostly female) youngsters hide and run, killing people and prostituting themselves while an older man tracks them down to locate his missing girl. This premise is actually interesting and I was looking forward to it, but unfortunately there is no plot or interesting characters, and the boring girls just sit around listlessly in between meals. The gore involving butchering and flesh-eating, while not over-the-top nor exploitative, is very prevalent and realistic.

Dead Fetus (Feto Morto) tt2746818  
Brazilian home-made campy nastiness and splatter in the worst tradition of Troma with added pornography. A gang of metalheads are brutally beating up and killing anyone they meet on the street, smashing baby's heads, feeding guys their own balls, beating them with their own limbs, etc. A local loser with a fetus attached to the side of his head decides he has had enough abuse and goes to the occult to learn martial arts and get his revenge. In between we get some vomit sex with a whore, various bodily functions and fluids, and a priest that snorts cocaine lines literally in the name of Jesus.

Dead Fury  
Crudely animated Evil-Dead homage, like a splatter Army of Darkness with South-Park animation only without the wit. A group of hunters are attacked and possessed by vengeful demons in a forest cabin. An Ash-like character is forced to chop them up into pieces and mounds of gore with various weapons. Most of the movie goes for a monotonous and silly Army-of-Darkness attitude, with the various characters cursing and insulting each other and wisecracking at the demons who try to make preachy speeches. The splatter is way over-the-top but isn't creative or entertaining in a Peter Jackson way. Repetitive and witless.

Deadhunter: Sevillian Zombies  
An extremely silly z-grade zombie movie with a special Deadhunter squad charging money for killing zombies who are overruning the city. Some scenes are so dumb they're funny like where a man breaks out in a handkerchief dance to confuse the zombies, some are silly entertainment like male strippers eaten by their audience, but the rest, I'm afraid, consists of people shaking their guns at faces painted with green and gothic goo, shaky and dark cameras, lots of uninteresting action and gut & brain munching gore. Of course Lloyd Kaufman makes a cameo.

Dead Life  
Another home-made Romero post-apocalyptic-zombie movie made with friends and a zero budget. A virus breaks out, turning the whole world into zombies while a group of friends try to survive. That's the whole story and it's amateur hour on every front. The acting is terrible featuring teenagers trying to act tough with guns and karate, the lighting is non-existent, the cinematography and editing tries to pull off many tricks but only result in a distracting mess, and the zombie-chewing gore, although gleefully gooey, isn't anything worth searching for and they seem to run out of grue after half the movie. The only stand-out scene is where one guy tries to rape a zombie and loses his pride and joy in graphic detail.

Dead Meat (1993)  
Amateurish campy serial killer movie featuring a sloppy killer who drags everyone that comes next to his house into the basement for some gory dismemberment, each time cutting out a different body part and feeding the leftovers to his pet fish. The bumbling policemen provide more comedy as they try to track down the killer while ignoring valid clues for stupid reasons. The gore is mediocre but the camera gleefully zooms in on the carnage for long takes and the gore becomes more and more campy as the killer machine-dries a decapitated head and cuts a delivery man into pizza slices. The attempted comedy is let down by poor acting. For fans of home-made horror only.

Dead Next Door  
A cheap, horribly inept, but very gory Romero rip-off about a doctor that develops a virus to animate the living. Before you know it, zombies have taken over the planet, zombie police squads are trying to keep some minimal level of control, their hands full with zombie masses, zombie cultists, zombie rights demonstrators and zombies trying to rent Dawn of the Dead while attacking the video rental clerk.

Dear God No!  
Another extreme retro-grindhouse throwback, this one working hard on the authenticity of the visual details, but completely undermined by terrible acting and nonsensical writing that falls apart for the climax. We have nihilistic bikers that get off on raping nuns and then tearing them apart with motorcycle wheels. Then a chaotic gunfight with topless machine-gun wielding biker stripers in Nixon masks and a dare to drink the most disgusting drink the bartender can come up with. Then a home invasion with endlessly inept scenes of abuse thanks to the bad acting and bad pacing, which all falls apart in a completely incoherent climax involving a mad Nazi scientist, over-the-top nasty rapes and murders, a bigfoot monster, mutated undead relatives, drugs and genetic poisons, and a lot of splattery disemboweling. This is no Devil's Rejects.

Death Academy (AKA School Night Massacre)  
A cliche-ridden slasher from Sweden, only with over-the-top gory deaths. Some very dumb teenagers investigate a serial killer, get locked up in the school, and lots of chases and deaths ensue while they're trying to guess who the killer is. The gore includes axes to the head, decapitations, smashed faces, acid, etc. but doesn't provide much entertainment either.

Defenceless: A Blood Symphony  
Revenge exploitation that should go well with Thriller and I Spit on Your Grave except the gimmick here is that there is no dialogue, only music and screams. This approach works nicely sometimes for this movie, but not always. A stupid, stubborn woman refuses to sell her property repeatedly even though they brutally kill her husband, lesbian lover and then go after her daughter. After she is raped, beaten and extirpated, she comes back from the ocean like some kind of mermaid ghost, is dressed in bra, pink shoes and pigtails by some child, goes on a revenge rampage, and eats every nasty thing she comes across. Until the revenge scenes, the gore and acting don't seem to match the brutality, but then we are treated to nasty torture scenes with pliers, chopping, and penis slicing. Brutal visual exploitation, but somehow never gripping or disturbing.

Devil's Grove  
For the millionth time, a group of oversexed youngsters serve as fodder for a killer, this time in an abandoned amusement park, which is just about the only difference between this movie and the million Friday the 13th clones, except for a brainless plot twist about the killer. Of course, since this is such a copycat and it is 2008, it also shoehorns in some torture scenes for no reason other than it is trendy. The setup is that once upon a time, a psycho working in the amusement park went berzerk and killed everyone in gruesome ways in revenge for the owner firing him after catching him red-handed with his teenage daughter. Now, a group of killer-obsessed youths are making a documentary... The gore and torture is mostly condensed into the climax and is nasty, including eyeball-gouging, extreme penis abuse and other gratuities. Braindead, instant trash-bin fodder.

Dream Home  
Ridiculous Hong Kong slasher with gratuitous nasty gore and gruesome violence. It seems we are running out of motivations for a killer nowadays, seeing as this one posits a killer who kills tenants, neighbours, visitors, and prospects just to ensure she gets the flat she always wanted at the price she can afford. This could have been turned into a satire, but there is no satire to be found in this movie which only seems to have nasty death scenes on its mind, along with a back-story to make the killer more human and sympathetic (unsuccessful). The gore is extremely well done and gruesome, the kills are as gratuitously nasty and realistic as they can get, with people slashing their own throats to remove a choker, pregnant women getting their face vacuumed, eye-gouging, disemboweling, and many others. The cinematography is excellent and rich, but the casting and writing make for a ridiculous movie.

Dr. Shock's Grindhouse of Horrors  
Bottom of the barrel 'anthology', featuring the same troupe of amateurs acting as different kinds of retards in three tedious short films that somehow go on forever. There's a fine line between over-the-top bad acting and camp, and this one mostly falls into the former category. The uninspired films involve: A very annoying serial killer running a bed & breakfast that turns guests into jerky, a group of moonshine-selling hillbillies that come across a whorehouse of vampires, and a journalist that sends a group of stoners to get pictures of an alleged killer gardener. They're all really just an excuse to kill one person after another while acting retarded. The wrapper features some annoying guy clowning around while slowly taking apart the head of a guy who asked to 'cut some off the top'. There are also about 3-4 gleefully splattery scenes that aren't much to write home about, involving the carving up or exploding of bodies. Just bad.

Evil Dead (2013)  
With the exception of Piranha and Dawn of the Dead (which wasn't really a remake), I don't think there have been any worthwhile remakes, and yet they keep coming. This one is praised by many but it is actually a very poor movie. They took a whole bunch of scenes and ideas from the first two movies and threw them together as if that would be enough for fans of the original, yet there has obviously been no thought towards making it cohere. E.g. the forest rape is changed as if it now has a purpose instead of the brutal chaos of the original, and then it is forgotten, and the evil behaves randomly as the writers just throw everything they can think of at the audience. The movie is also extremely stupid. For example, the evil is unleashed by an honest mistake in the original; here, there are bright red warnings in English in the book, and the kid goes out of his way to do exactly the opposite for no reason. But if you watch the movie, you can see where the focus was: It's messy and makes no sense because the writers's goal was only to provide an endless stream of gruesome violence, as the youngsters unrealistically tear each other apart and inflict gruesome physical violence in 30 different ways, until the over-the-top splattery finale involving a chainsaw. Of course, a movie like this doesn't know how to end, so it throws in several endings as well. An unworthy mess that exploits fans of the original.

Evil - In the Time of Heroes  
Sequel to the Greek low-budget silly zombie movie with a bigger budget, only this time it's a mess. This is possibly in the top ten most incoherent movies of all time. There is an historical angle this time about some ancient Greek warriors who first encountered the zombie-making evil, and their 'story' is cut together with the modern zombie survivors and incarnations of the heroes. Anything beyond this description can only be as incoherent as the movie. There's a lot of goofy dialogue and scenes that want to be funny but are only confusing, random fight scenes between zombies, soldiers, anarchists and ancient warriors with unrealistic, CGI-enhanced over-the-top splatter, random supernatural abilities like faster-than-bullet speed and Jedi-knight fighting abilities that seem to come and go, completely random flashes forward, backwards and sideways, a supernatural climax against the evil forces of light that is too incoherent to even describe, an appearance by Billy Zane as a Jedi, and people that come and go, disappear or resurrect at random. A terrible mess.

Evil Sister 2  
An incestuous father and his daughter are on a road trip looking for a lost sister who is on a killing rampage, using a psychic bond, handcuffs and a roaming Tarot-card-reader to track her down. Low-budget movie tries to build atmosphere and offers plenty of nudity but is simply too weak and badly acted to be of interest. The gore consists of three scenes of endless stabbing that are more like extended slasher death scenes and are nothing to make a gorehounds day, but it gleefully goes on and on with closeups.

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds  
While the first was deeply flawed but featured some intense energy, this sequel drops the only thing that made it worth watching and went for idiotic camp, gross-outs and outrageous characters and scenes instead, with some of the stupidest writing I've ever seen. A biker chick and her gang are out for revenge against whomever killed her sister in the first movie, but they get caught up with some survivors and random city folk who are being butchered by the rampaging monsters in broad daylight. In the stupidest plot development, they decide to risk their lives to get into a jail barricaded by some nut job instead of driving away. On the way we get midget wrestlers, cat rape, a grandma that is slowly melting and falling apart, a completely idiotic and gratuitous baby-killing scene, some really lame character introduction scenes like something out of a bad reality TV show, a midget with a huge penis, boobs, and the centerpiece: An endlessly stupid monster autopsy scene where every poke causes body fluids to erupt all over the female cast, including gases, blood, semen and slime. There is only one or two over-the-top splatter scenes, the rest being forced gross-outs. The climax ending is an inspired piece of madness, but everything up to that is too dumb to even be campy fun.

Feast III: The Happy Finish  
Part two ended mid-battle in a city overrun by monsters and this continues where it left off, pitching the odd gang of humans against monsters in various settings, taking them down to the sewers where for no logical reason, humans have also mutated into flesh-hungry weirdos. This seves more splatter than part two, with endless ripping apart of bodies in various ways, and there's a gross-out scene of monster rape and impregnation of a human. It's more campily entertaining, has some funny scenes in the way it dispatches its ass-kicking heros, and its less stupid than part 2, but that's like giving 20 more points to an IQ of 20, and the writing doesn't even seem like it's trying to make sense anymore, with horrible cinematography and pointless night-vision and strobe-lights making it impossible to understand what's going on.

Fistful of Brains  
Amateurish Western zombie movie. Problem is, everything about this is so sloppy and limp, it feels like a pack of kids made it. A snake oil peddler comes into town selling a mysterious healing drink that promptly turns the whole town into flesh-eating zombies. The peddler's brother is not too pleased with the abuse of this magical potion and comes to wage war. In the meantime, the sheriff's daughter has a horny half-brother, a violent dad, and a town full of zombies to deal with. The lighting, sound, cinematography and especially the acting are all atrocious, and the gory guts-and-body-parts munching is slightly over-the-top for a movie of this kind, but is nothing to write home about either.

555  
Formulaic slasher with weak acting, and cliched cops and reporters hunting a serial killer who kills teenage couples after some gratuitous sex. Suspects pop up while the killer has his way with the dead girls. Provides some weak slashings with blood splatter, and two or three over-the-top splatter scenes that alone made this movie memorable for gorehounds: A realistic extended beheading, and some gory throat slashings.

Flesheater (AKA Zombie Nosh)  
Yet another Romero zombie rip-off with a derivative script, horrible acting, plenty of body parts and red stuff, and gratuitous nudity. A group of teenagers party in the woods and nearby farms on Halloween while a farmer uncovers a zombie buried under a tree. What follows is a dull stream of scenes where people run away and provide zombie snacks with plenty of limb and intestine rippings.

Flesh for the Beast  
A horror-splatter movie filmed like a porno using the cliched haunted-house-studied-by-scientists plot. As the students of the paranormal roam the mansion in search for evidence, the owner seems to have his own agenda. Full-frontal nude sluts seduce the roaming victims, then over-the-top gore ensues. Repeat and rinse.

Forbidden World (AKA Mutant)  
Roger Corman produced this Alien rip-off after the equally abysmal Galaxy of Terror that featured a woman raped by a space-worm. This one features some kind of space-marshal who is woken out of hibernation by a cheesy robot whenever there is a crisis. After some space-shooting, he's off to a planet where scientists are experimenting on genetic creations, one of which promptly starts to metamorphose and attack everything in the facility. There's mutating flesh-protein-goo like something from The Thing, melting humans, space-monsters with huge teeth that are nice enough to communicate in English via a computer before impaling you with a phallic tentacle, and somewhere in between all this, our hero finds time to make it with two naked sexy 80s-space-chicks that throw themselves on him one after another. The climax features some literal hands-on graphic surgery.

Forever Dead  
Yet another low-budget home-made zombie movie featuring young people running around in the woods fighting zombies. I realize this is the easiest way to shoot a horror movie, but don't you realize there are hundreds of movies already like this? In this case, the origin of the plague is a rabbit that escaped from a laboratory. For over an hour, various groups of people in the area are chased and attacked by the rapidly spreading zombies, with some 'scientists' trying to contain it by chasing the rabbit, until the survivors finally get together in a house, and this is when we finally realize that writers were possibly involved in the movie, with uninteresting laboratory flashbacks, and some gruesome home-made experiments on a zombie to find out what can kill it. There are dozens of scenes of flesh-eating, intestines, flesh ripped out, brains, etc. but these can't hold a candle to the horrifying cinematography, sound levels, music-selection, and acting. And let's not forget the zombie rabbit puppet on a string.

Frisian Terror  
Well, what can one say about a movie that knows how bad it is and comes with its own criticism? The director obviously studied Troma movies (the Troma book about making movies is even shown in one scene) and this would fit right in. An evil medieval King's skull is searched after by an evil Russian general, but a Dutch archeologist keeps it to himself, feeling its evil power, and starts his own cult. Random passersby and cult followers are often punished or killed in gruesome ways, leading to an amusing argument between the cultists about not having anyone left to worship the king. To keep things colorful, there's a devilish lusty girl with sharp teeth, an actor who is obviously having fun with his role of retarded cultist, punishments involving sodomy impalement, an immoral drug-dealer drawing graffiti on the king's portrait, and movie critic torture. The uncreative but pervasive gore is borderline splatter and campy.

Gateway Meat, The  
Another one of these new-wave, plotless, brutal gornography movies a la August Underground and Slaughtered Vomit Dolls. A group of Satanists which includes a husband and wife, their little daughter, and a man who sniffs powdered glass, torture, rape, mutilate and kill random people while talking about portals and the power left behind by their dead Satanic father in the basement. The gore includes a wide variety of realistically nasty tortures like eyeball cutting, razor-blade swallowing, glass up someone's nose, spine-bashing, face-carving and much more. But the movie doesn't go anywhere or have anything to say. The only unique touch is the disturbing inclusion of a little girl in the nasty murders and some artistic cinematography.

Ghoul School  
I really wanted to enjoy this one more, seeing as they were obviously trying to reproduce the fun of movies like Nuke 'em High and Revenge of the Living Dead despite their low budget. But the overall execution was simply too amateurish and weakly uninspired, making the comedy fall flat. Some ex-students invade the high-school janitor's basement on the assumption that he is hoarding some kind of drug, and they release a chemical into the water pipes. A couple of horror-gore movie geeks, a heavy metal band and its silly groupies, a cliched closed-minded preachy principal, and the basketball team with a militant coach, all have to run for their lives as the swim team become infected and turn into human-munching ghouls. The ghouls are just dudes and chicks in swimsuits and blue paint, and the action is lame, but the cheap, home-made 'splatter' is over-the-top as bodies are ripped apart graphically.

Gone the Way of Flesh  
This is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. In fact, this is the spores from the mould that grows on the dregs of the bottom the barrel after it has been thrown out and sat in the garbage can for 6 months. There's some guy torturing and killing girls that go to a concert of some band nobody cares about. Except the movie wants you to care about it, so they mention the band 5487 times, and force you to sit through several of their endless numbers in their entirety. Then the rest of their friends get to act out badly cliched and limp versions of detective, chief, drug-dealer and narc in scenes that never actually gel into a story, while they intercut scenes of lesbian porn, stripping, and some splattery but dull dismembering, feeding of limbs to a meat grinder, eye-gouging, and acid-gut torture. Don't bother.

Gospel of Taddeo, The (Il Vangelo Secondo Taddeo)  
Italian obscure piece of John Waters-esque home-made trash. In an anarchist city overrrun with random violence, a man takes on the holy vow, preaching values and resurrecting the dead while attacking criminals with a huge cross with sickles attached to each end, waiting for the savior of the city. The movie is really just about showing a series of ultra-violent, gory and nasty scenes though, including sudden chopping, axing, scalping and disemboweling with the ultra-cheap gore consisting of flying ketchup and meat leftovers, and then there's some nasty anal gimp sodomy, rape, drugs, some weirdo dancing perverts in a pool, and more trashy chaos. As if the movie isn't unwatchable enough, the camera is as purposely shaky and jerky as it gets, producing headaches.

Guinea Pig: The Devil's Experiment
See Extreme Movies.

Guinea Pig: Flowers of Flesh and Blood  
This second attempt at a realistic snuff film goes over-the-top as a gleefully twisted Japanese man kidnaps a woman, injects her with drugs, and then slowly proceeds to carve her up and cut off all her limbs, then disembowel her in 'artistic' ways to show the 'beauty' of her flesh and blood. The endless close-up gore, despite the special effect giveaways, is quite realistic and very sickening. After it's done, the demented man shows us his museum of body-part art.

Guinea Pig: Devil Woman Doctor  
A very silly sequel features various vignettes, usually in bad or gory taste with a transvestite 'doctor' as a tour guide. People's heads explode when they get upset, a smorgasbord of cooked human body-parts is sampled, a rotten dead man is embarrassed about the state of his body but his girlfriend is nice to him, a man who sweats blood is cured, a mobile tattoo is removed at the cost of skinning the whole patient, live excrement and intestines are displayed, etc.

Guinea Pig: Android of Notre Dame  
An insane dwarf scientist experiments on body parts and cadavers of young girls in order to heal his dying sister. A crooked businessman and his girl supply him with bodies but when they get in his way, he finds a more direct way to make them useful. Lame gore and sound effects, none of the extremes of the other Gunea Pigs, and the re-animation of body parts was done much better in Re-animator.

Guinea Pig: Lucky Sky Diamond  
A couple kidnap a girl, abuse her in various ways while filming her, then they drug her and perform brain surgery on her, playing around with her body reactions as they poke inside her brain and extract a drug. Then they all get high, dress up and go insane, stabbing and slicing each other in a drugged rampage while the girl's intestines fall out. Annoying endless screaming and twisting camera angles.

Hallucinations  
Cheap, home-made homage to horror by a couple of kids. Three brothers are living alone at home and experience violent hallucinations. Various mysterious figures and monsters from horror movies (including Freddy Krueger and Chucky) appear in their visions to torture and kill them (and their cat) in various ways. There is some laughably bad acted drama concerning rivalry between brothers, love for their mom and their cat. The violence is borderline splatter, but too amateurish to make an impact.

Hatchet II  
In the tradition of slasher sequels, this one continues one second after the first movie, with a survivor of the massacre running away, only to confront the monster again by the end of the movie. Except it's a different actress who can't act, and the reasoning for going back to the swamp and taking a whole boatload of people with her to die is preposterously dumb for everyone involved. A dumb blonde pair of boobs is included as some kind of hunter, the lame humor falls terribly flat on its face, but all of this lameness exists just so they can pull out the most over-the-top splattery deaths they can think of. There is an extended chainsaw that cleaves two men at once, slowly. There is a stupid scene featuring a slowly hammered face that takes a couple of minutes while his friend doesn't even bother to shoot. Intestines are used as weapons, heads sliced in half from various angles, all done before in other movies, but the special effects team have fun with it and take it over the top. Unfortunately, this is not even at the level of the previous movie that was trying to entertain with its schlocky homages and gore, this is a movie too full of itself and its cast to notice that it isn't funny.

Hell Asylum  
I've seen this one twice and I still can't remember it or having seen it. A group of lame and bitchy girls are made to stay in a haunted house as part of a reality TV show, only the hauntings turn out to be more than tricks and special effects. Boring, no nudity, and borderline gore that seems to be made up of spaghetti with sauce and some bones.

Hellinger  
Home-made Hellraiser type movie about a supernatural man from hell who likes to pluck eyeballs and is in love with a woman whose abusive father he killed. There is a nonsense plot about souls, a tattooed cousin, policemen and a shrink all investigating this phenomenon who is haunting Melissa and killing her boyfriends, and an irrelevant rape scene involving some lame but nasty tongue and genital mutilation. The occasional splatter is weak, and the acting is the worst I've seen this side of hell.

Hell's Highway  
Amateurish and dumb Hitcher wannabe with a goth-girl as a psychopathic devil killing everyone on the road. You know the drill: A group of over-sexed, over-drugged teenagers drive on the road and battle it out with the devil as they die one by one. Joe Castro made the special effects and serves a couple of over-the-top gore scenes involving head-splitting, body-dismembering and disemboweling by a car.

House of the Living Dead, The - The Injection 2
Obscure Italian one-hour splatter movie by Maurizio Quarta. A man is performing gruesome experiments with skulls and eyeballs, injecting himself with experimental fluids for some reason or another, turning himself into various monsters and back again. He then roams a big old house, attacking anyone that wanders into it (which seems to be a lot of people). Brains and guts are spilled in graphic detail, and then sometimes eaten, faces mutate, and there is a wide variety of gruesome eyeball abuse that would make Fulci proud. Amateurish incoherent nonsense.

Junk  
Japanese take on the zombie splatter genre featuring jewel thieves shooting it out with Yakuza while zombies pop in for a quick bite. The cast seems to be having fun, and the gore is prevalent, but it's just too amateurish and silly to enjoy properly.

Kannibal  
A dull and messy Hannibal ripoff (or spoof?) that throws into the mix a small mafia family dealing with drugs and prostitution, lesbian sex, nudity, an insane cannibal killer, a group of policemen, and lots of disemboweling and autopsy gore. The plot is often incoherent and this is made worse by a loud soundtrack that drowns out some of the dialogue.

Kichiku  
The leader of a group of criminals is put in jail and his psychotic girlfriend takes over with dire consequences. The first hour wanders around exploring the interactions between the gang members as she screws around, makes them commit petty crimes, has parties and gets the main member of the gang to leave. Then she goes nuts when the leader kills himself in jail, goes to the woods and everyone goes psycho on each other for no good reason, blowing off heads and chests, playing with brains and bowels, decapitating, cutting and stabbing genitals. Boring and pointlessly nasty, making you wish they killed themselves an hour earlier. And I'm sick of violence trying to get art marks by stupidly being declared a 'political statement'.

Killer is Still Among Us, The  
A cliched, dull giallo sporting a typical plot of a mystery murderer who kills and mutilates lovers making out in the woods, and a criminology student with Nancy Drew aspirations who decides to study this unknown killer. The mystery develops ploddingly with her boyfriend and others becoming suspects, until a sudden, single scene that comes out of nowhere with graphic, explicit genital mutliation worthy of an Andreas Schnaas flick.

Killing Spree  
If Ed Wood had made a cheesy H.G. Lewis gore film, this may have been the result. A husband suspects his wife of cheating and her diary containing sexual escapades doesn't help his paranoia until he snaps and starts gleefully murdering all the men she mentions in her diary in creative ways. Chainsaws, lawnmowers and even ceiling fans are used to decapitate, disembowel and dismember the victims, and the gore scenes range from nice splatter (jaw being ripped away) to truly lame. The ending features a semi-interesting twist and some silly zombies. The ineptness cancels out the fun of the cheesy camp though. Probably Tim Ritter's most gory movie.

Kolobos  
A cliched horror movie about teenagers volunteering to stay in a house only to find themselves being slaughtered, etc etc. There are some interesting mysterious and hallucinative touches here and there but the murderers antics are very unrealistic and the twist ending is one of the most nonsensical endings ever made. The gore is borderline excessive with some scenes that gleefully burn someone with acid, crunch a face across a table corner, eye-gouge and disembowel.

Laid to Rest  
Sometimes I think slasher movies only exist so that special effects people can have fun without having to think up something new. This is the millionth slasher movie, an extremely dumb one, and it is mainstream, but it features surprisingly splatterific and shocking effects. This is like a catalogue of gruesome things that can be done to the human head, all very graphic, gory and horrifyingly realistic: skinning, acid, melting, slashing, impaling, slicing in half, sawing, etc. There is no plot, with the whole movie consisting of random people running away from a killer, and a girl who wakes up in a coffin with amnesia. Ignoring for a moment that I hate all slasher movies, this one features people at their stupidest with a start and end that are so dumb, they make no sense, and a dull, invincible and omnipresent killer with a camera, cellphone and shiny mask who sends his victims alone to buy video tapes.

Last Caress  
Another homage to Italian horror from the French, this one released together with Blackaria. It's like some teenager's memories of Italian horror, with strands of the plot lingering only as very muddled impressions, and the colorful and gory kill and nudity scenes emphasized until they become the focus of the movie. There's a secret painting, a dash of nonsensical witchcraft thrown in for no particular reason, a killer who seems more intent on making stylish kills than finding whatever he is looking for, and a collection of youngsters that serve as fodder for sex and death. It's a cut and paste job, with every scene and special effect lifted from other movies even if you can't recall the original, except the camera zooms in on the splattery wounds and gaping cuts, as well as on the naked girls who pose in front of a window for hours. It's like porn for horror fans, and just as empty-headed.

Las Vegas Bloodbath  
Man comes home and catches his cheating wife, kills her, then runs around Las Vegas on a killing spree while carrying his wife's decapitated head. Movie looks like a cheap porn and I think the only reason this was made was as an excuse to hang out with babes in bikinis since over half of the movie lingers on 6 babes playing truth or dare (what is this - a Tim Ritter movie?), trying on bathing suits, and wrestling. The splatter only really makes an appearance in the climax and features some head-drilling, dismemberment, and the cutting open of a real pregnant girl then throwing the fetus against the wall.

Last House in the Woods, The  
Modern Italian homage to 70s grindhouse, basically a copy-paste job from Texas Chainsaw, Last House on the Left and one or two others, with a sick twist involving a little boy. When the heroes of a movie are rapist sleazoids, you just know it's going to a nasty one. A young man and woman, with their relationship on the rocks, wander into a forest populated with one freak after another, from rapists to murderers, to tumor-infested cannibals. They all come together for a glorious splatterfest of a fight that involve knives, teeth and, obviously, chainsaws. But it always feels like a nonsensical as well as a tiresome copy-paste job and nothing else.

Last House on Dead End Street, The (AKA The Fun House)
See Extreme Movies.

Laughing Dead, The  
A weak horror movie that tries to mix some winking comedy, cheesy horror, drama and splatter. A priest who lost his faith and once had a scandalous affair (begetting a foul-mouthed brat) takes a group of weirdos on an archeological tour in Mexico. They encounter the cult of the Death God who soon throws zombies their way and decapitates, rips apart or crushes some of the tourists. This brings out the splatter fan in the director as suddenly heads are thrown in basketball hoops, severed arms are shoved down people's throats and heads are crushed like tomatoes. But these scenes are scattered and few and the rest of the movie is too cheesy or weak to enjoy, despite the nice soundtrack.

Living a Zombie Dream
See Extreme Movies.

Lost Way Of The Zombies, The  
A German home-made zombie movie with the mentality of a video game. The acting and atmosphere is a bit more competent than the usual German underground fare, but there is no plot, and after the setup of 'two guys taking a shortcut through a factory with a chemical spill and encountering a strange person', it's just a repetitive zombie-kill marathon for 50 minutes as 100 zombies popup one or two at a time to get shot, sliced, axed, impaled, decapitated, blown-up, etc. by our young heroes. The gore gets more enthusiastic as the movie progresses, but they also resort to using obviously fake heads exclusively for the splatter in the second half, and there is no creative splatstick.

Lunatic  
A bored serial killer with a penchant for nasty violence meets with an annoying female serial killer and they both go on a killing spree together. In between killings, they have inane conversations or long stretches of silence. That's the whole movie. Since this was directed by a special effects man, the killings are the centerpiece and are extremely nasty, featuring breast slicing, rape with a burning curler, rape and decapitation in front of her boyfriend, cutting off of genitals, lots of stabbings, etc.

Maleficia  
From the French underground splatter director Pellissier (AKA Doctor Gore) comes this full-length release that seems to be a labor of love that throws in everything and the kitchen sink. A family encounters a cult that nastily sacrifices and butchers women in order to raise the dead. They soon find themselves running away from bloodthirsty cultists, a horde of zombies, as well as vampires hiding in the cellars. The amount of splatter ranks up there amongst the top gory movies (although it isn't that creative), but the plot doesn't exist and the whole movie is a tiresome chase, hide and screamathon with characters appearing out of nowhere just to display their intestines. Oh, and the soundtrack is constantly loud. Altogether, a dull splatter movie that never breathes.

Maniac  
Notorious movie about a deranged killer made infamous by its sleaziness and Savini's over-the-top gore effects. The killer had an abusive mother and he takes it out on flashy women, killing them in various ways before scalping them to put their hair on his mannequin collection. The handful of gore effects are brief but are splatterific, including slashings, scalpings, a head blown apart, and a slow decapitation. This kind of movie relies on the acting chops and portrayal of the killer however, and as opposed to most people, I found it crude and unconvincing.

Maniac (2012)  
Great. Just what I always wanted: Point-of-view serial-killing 'porn'. I am definitely in the minority here by not liking this remake (written/produced by Aja) that made quite a splash in the horror-movie world. Not that I liked the original either. Strangely, in both cases I found it unconvincing due to the acting and the dime-store Freudian psychology. This remake follows a very disturbed young man with severe mother issues who has become schizophrenic due to his inability to reconcile his pretty mother with the wild sexual outings he witnessed her in. So he obsesses over mannequins that serve as asexual stand-ins, and can't make up his mind whether to love or kill every pretty girl he meets. The only points of interest here are the surreal and gory visions involving mannequins and some body-horror. You can feel Aja's influence here as the kills are extremely graphic and realistic. But who would want to watch several graphic scalpings from a first-person point of view? I almost expected the corner of the screen to suddenly show bonus points for every extra graphic kill. Not to mention that every woman is naked or involved in some sexual activity before she is slashed. So this POV cinematography varies from offensive to gimmicky, the killer and relationship are too contrived to be interesting, and the movie is mostly repetitive kill scenes, making this merely porn for the slasher crowd.

Mardi Gras Massacre  
Extremely dull H.G. Lewis inspired gore and nudity romp about an Aztec cultist who sacrifices evil women to his Goddess by cutting their hands and feet, stating that he will cut 'the part they do evil with', then cutting open their stomach and pulling out their huge elephant-sized hearts. The gore and nudity scenes all look the same, there is none of the campy H.G. Lewis charm, there is a bad romance between a policeman and a hooker, and the cultist finds evil women by going to a bar and asking prostitutes 'are you evil?'.

Más Carnaza + Burrp!  
Two half-length home-made splatter movies released together, both of which feature nasty and very effective gore, especially the splatterfest Burrp that reaches Schnaas nasty proportions. Más Carnaza is a simple flick of an angry psycho that kills his shrink then pays a visit to his ex-girlfriend and proceeds to torture her and her boyfriend, slicing up every single body part in graphic detail then burning her boyfriend in the bathtub. Burrp features a disease that breaks out amongst some teenagers that makes them break out in extreme violence, killing each other and themselves in gory ways. When the journalists and military intervene, the disease spreads with chaotic results. Burrp features an intro that rants against the injustices of the world, with grindcore metal. The gore is well done and over-the-top, some highlights include a gruesome axing of a body in half, nasty disembowelment and rape, very gory skull bashing and mutilation, a gratuitous scatological scene, and more. Both movies seem more interested in grossing out than writing a plot though.

Medley - Brandelli di Scuola  
Obscure oddity supposedly made by a bunch of students to depict the harsh life in school as a bunch of unrelated absurdly violent vignettes. Teenagers act out various scenes involving sadistic teachers, student fights, crime, drugs, harsh home arguments, all breaking out in sudden absurd violence involving lots of guns, a chainsaw, fire, etc. The blood flies freely in this anarchic silly but pointless movie which also features two splatter centerpieces: a poison that somehow makes a teacher's face melt and his teeth to push out of his face, and a geek that gets stabbed slowly as pencils, rulers and calculators come out of his insides. They must have had fun with this, but it's just pointless and random.

Men Behind the Sun 2: Laboratory of the Devil
See Extreme Movies.

Mental Dead, The  
Obviously a low-budget zombie movie made by a bunch of teenagers having fun reproducing scenes from horror movies they've seen. Filmed in various local buildings and structures, this movie simply has a group of survivors running, screaming and fighting their way throughout the whole movie against scores of zombies without bothering with a narrative. I tried to enjoy it for what it is, but the constant yelling by the girls was annoying, and the rest of the acting was poor, not to mention the inconsistent zombies that are mostly flung away easily, and then suddenly become strong when it's time for someone to die. Lesbian zombies are thrown in for no good reason, and there's a very strange sadistic serial killer who is having fun amidst all the chaos who seems unaffected by zombies. Occasionally, the gore is quite good with limb-chopping stunts, but it's not too creative and there are only a couple of scenes of over-the-top splatter.

Midnight Skater  
A college campus has descended into chaos. A special outbreak of drugs is causing people to turn into zombies, a psychopath is killing people, and worst of all, a midnight skater is spray-painting campus walls. A group of friends get together to rid themselves of the midnight skater once and for all, but the zombies and machete-wielding enthusiastic killer make this task difficult. Features a lot of terrible acting, an oblivious nerd duo that tend to overlook body parts and have a fetish for blow-up sheep and x-files, a handful of gleeful splatter scenes, and one necrophilia scene involving spanking with a severed hand. Terrible movie, but this should definitely appeal to the so-bad-its-good crowd.

Monstrosity  
One of Andy Milligan's last movies and one of his goriest, but that isn't saying much. Featuring a Toxic Avenger-like monster, this terrible slice of b-movie comedy tells the tale of 3 guys who build a golem to avenge a raped, beaten and eviscerated girl. The golem is looking for love (while leaking blood) and gentleness, except when he is ripping apart criminals that is. After a touch of body part splatter however, this movie sinks into campy and very dumb comedy.

Mother of Tears: The Third Mother  
Dario Argento was always more of a horror stylist and not into splatter so when this is described as his goriest with excessive death scenes, this is relative. It's also the third part of a witchcraft trilogy (Susperia, Inferno) for which fans have been waiting 30 years. Unfortunately it's also a cheesy and stupid b-movie with none of the style of the others. Sarah works at a museum when an evil power is unearthed and starts a wave of nihilistic violence and murder. In addition, some guy is gorily dispatching her acquaintances with the use of a screeching monkey and designer torture weapons that rip open various body parts. The witches are ridiculous, annoyingly loud teenagers in goth-makeup, the acting is terrible, and the ending, although it has some bizarre moments in a catacomb, is anti-climactic. Oh, and Dario directs his daughter in gratuitous nude scenes again.

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain
See Extreme Movies.

Necro Files, The  
A serial killer who 'mutilates' his female victims by playing with pig-gut special effects strewn all over their naked bodies is shot by men acting as policemen (who have somehow memorized their lines) then brought back to life by Satanists who stab a baby doll and urinate on his grave. Soon he is back to his gory killings, this time aided by a foot-long penis, until he kills a lesbian having sex with a blow-up doll and falls in love with the doll. The remaining Satanists conjure up a demonic $3 plastic doll that flies through the air hanging on a wire in order to fight the zombie serial killer. Enough said.

Necro Files 2: Lust Never Dies, The  
The serial killer's brother (who thinks aloud through a voice distortion effect) tries to follow in his footsteps by killing, raping and mutilating women (in that order) then brings back his brother from the dead with vomit and urine. Overcoming penis envy and inept corrupt cops, they go on a violent raping spree. This time the 'sex' is practically x-rated, the cheap gore is bloody and gleefully twisted, but the acting is the worst of all.

Night of the Bloody Apes  
Laughably bad gory horror in an Ed Wood way. A mad doctor attempts to heal his son by transplanting an ape's heart, with disastrous bloody results as his son grows facial hair and goes on a rampage, while a policeman and his wrestler girlfriend track down the killer. Lots of cheap nudity as the ape-man tears off clothes, bad gore, female wrestling, and real heart transplant footage sloppily spliced into the movie for an increased gore quota.

Night of the Demon  
No, not the old 1957 release. This extremely cheesy nasty tells the tale of a group of over-sexed anthropologists and students who go in search of Bigfoot rumored to be a demon killing some locals. The elements that make this such a joy to watch are the flashbacks within flashbacks, the laughably bad acting, the loud noise that serves as a soundtrack, and the occasional gore that the camera lovingly lingers over. People get their arms ripped off, disemboweled, pitchforked, impaled, a girl gets some Sasquatch lovin', and one poor fellow gets his penis yanked off.

Night to Dismember, A  
Notorious bad exploitation and b-movie maker Doris Wishman creates this painfully awful mess even by her standards. A woman is released from an insane asylum and her siblings try to drive her mad for some reason, but jealousy soon leads to lots of murders (also for reasons unknown). The editing is disjointed and confusing, the acting horrible, the narration is laughably bad and keeps telling you obvious things that you just saw on the screen, the bad gore is plentiful but mostly of the blood-spattering variety while victims get axed and slashed again and again, and Dorish gets to film more feet to satisfy her foot fetish. Painfully dull.

Nights of Terror (AKA Burial Ground)  
Laughable Fulci-wannabe zombie movie about a group of people caught in a mansion where a professor has opened a crypt containing intelligent but slow zombies. Extremely dumb characters who put themselves in harm's way, bad acting, horrible dubbing, and an annoyingly loud soundtrack. The gore includes lots of the usual gut-munching and skull-smashing but the zombies actually use various weapons and tools to do their splatter handiwork. Features a 25 year old actor acting as a 12 year old boy with an unhealthy obsession for his mother's nipples and body. When he becomes a zombie, this takes a turn for the worse.

Noctem  
Amateurish post-apocalyptic zombie splatter movie where survivors try to outrun and fight the masses of zombies, and the survivor communes are worse than the unprotected cities. Robotic acting, dumb dialog, and amateurish effects with blood that is the wrong color. 28 Days Later did this much, much better.

Orphan Killer, The  
Here's one to separate the horror fans from the people that just watch slashers for gore and nudity. Copying Halloween, this one sets up a brother and sister that, as children, experienced a trauma involving murder, except that the brother grows up bad despite continuous punishments and comes back to take revenge on everyone. Sound familiar? They were brought up by nuns that are as clueless as the writer, who illogically punish the boy for years and make him wear a mask for no good reason other than to have a masked killer. The director throws in some nunsploitation, some gratuitous nudity, torture porn, a metalcore soundtrack, and a whole lot of splatter and brutal kills. Barbed wire is used as a torture device, heads are smashed or stabbed right through, limbs are cut off just for sadistic fun, and throat slashings are nasty and splashy. In other words, no originality, the barebones plot is just there to set up a killer, character is replaced by boobs, but everything else that doesn't matter to real horror is amped up.

Ozone! Attack of the Redneck Mutants  
Zero-budget splatter-comedy about a hole in the ozone layer mutating rednecks into multicolored wild killers. This would have been campy fun in the vein of H.G. Lewis but the comedy is very lame, and the splatter occurs mostly at the climax where rednecks go on a rampage in a karaoke gathering and in people's homes, tearing people apart. The rest of the gore consists of blood splatter and a lot of multicolored goo oozing and vomiting.

Patriotism (AKA Rite of Love & Death)  
Very early precursor to the ultra-realistic and gory Seppuku films by Kikaku et al, albeit not as graphic, and more artistic. A Japanese soldier is forced into a position where the only way out is honorable suicide. This backplot told via scrolling text, the 30-minute movie simply involving the soldier and his wife going through the ritual, making love, then slicing themselves open. B&W, stagy and silent.

Petite Mort, La  
Pointless torture-porn coupled with typically boring underground German splatter film-making. A young man, his blind girlfriend (who never seems blind) and her friend, find themselves in a fetish club. Before you can say 'consentual S&M', they find themselves in separate rooms served as entertainment to video cameras and sadistic customers, while they are tortured in extremely gruesome ways and killed for the duration of the movie. They hired Ittenbach for the effects, so you know it's not going to be a picnic, and indeed, they are hammered to a bloody pulp, ground in a meat grinder, needled, scalped, and so on, all in graphic detail. Yawn.

Pink Eye  
Some movies just make you wish that it weren't so easy for any brain-dead person to write and make movies. This one is so bad and sloppy you just point and laugh. It starts out with some splatter scenes of female mental patients mutilating themselves, including one very graphic self-eye-gouging, but then the rest of the movie cuts away from the gore and kills. There's a conspiracy in the insane asylum which never makes any sense, run by doctors and nurses that are laughably unrealistic, who are all afraid of some guy called Edgar just because he talks in pretentious horror-movie cliches and has a mutilated face and skull thanks to Pink Eye (what?), except that you never get to see it. The conspiracy has nothing to do with anything and is promptly forgotten for the rest of the movie, Edgar's intentions are never clear, one minute he is terrorizing doctors and favoring patients, then killing patients, then stalking a random girl on the outside. There are several laughably bad dramatic subplots that never go anywhere, people are in one house then magically appear in another, dead or wounded people that we never saw before appear at random, and the ending just fizzles out. A complete waste of time.

Pleasures of the Damned  
Silly low-budget homage to 70s Satanic grindhouse that feels like a Chris Seaver movie with a bunch of folk in colorful 70s costumes and wigs. There's the Freemasonic/Satanic cult, an evil curse and a book of power, a sister looking for her brainwashed brother, a professor and his assistant researching evil, and finally, the living-dead ancient Satanists. The horrible audio is dubbed with complete disregard to what's happening on screen, there's off-screen nasty sex and rape, and most of the cheap unimpressive splatter is left to the end featuring eye-gouging, intestine yanking, scalping, decapitation and more. Trick-marketed as a long lost Italian 70s nasty but the secret is out now. If it's going to be this bad at least give us some comedy.

Projekt Fleisch
40 minute Swiss splatter in the vein of Blutgeil, released by nuckleduster on a 'Splatbox' DVD with a few more gory shorts. A gang of knucklehead metalheads lead a Manson-esque lifestyle, killing people at random, taking drugs, attempting masturbation sessions with vacuum cleaners and other machines, and led by a chief knucklehead. When they kill a whole family, the goth daughter comes for revenge. Features bloody penis damage by machine, random gory violence, sleaze and drugs, and a climax where a guy is beaten, axed in the groin, then dismembered, then disemboweled, then taken apart, then thrown up on, and then finally killed.

Prowler, The  
Just another boring slasher released after the success of Friday the 13th about a soldier who goes on a killing spree after getting a Dear John letter from his girlfriend. Savini goes all out with gore effects while the killer pitchforks and slashes his teenage victims, and since the movie is so dull, the only things people remember of this flick are the scattered but very effective gore scenes.

Psycho Holocaust  
Stop me if you've heard this one: A group of youngsters vacation in the middle of nowhere, driving to a reclusive cabin, when, suddenly... OK consider me stopped. Low-budget rip-off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre number two-hundred and fifty, with a bunch of laughably unconvincing 'psycho' ex-soldiers as the backwoods killers, and nothing new or interesting to add to this genre. The movie limps on its flimsy cartilage it calls feet, just setting up the next gore scene as yet another character meets his death or gory torture session. Chainsaws and sharp objects chop off limbs, scalps and heads, there's a dinner scene with intestines, and sodomy by handsaw. Nothing to see here folks.

Psycho: The Snuff Reels
See Extreme Movies.

Psychotica  
Another entry in the underground zero-budget German splatter genre. A man is performing medical experiments on a girl, repeatedly injecting her with a serum that makes her experience her own death in various ways. When she starts gaining control of her own hallucations, reality starts changing. This sounds a lot more interesting than it really is however, as the movie uses this only as an excuse to string together sadistic snuff scenes, ranging from waking up to find pieces of herself on the dinner table, to drowning in a romantic peaceful forest.

Punk Rock Holocaust  
Some guy decides it would be fun to film a serial killer movie on the real Warped 'punk' tour using cameos from real bands and fans. But the result is boringly repetitive and as limp as a Chris Seaver movie, and to top it all off, most of the bands are mall-pop-punk. Where's the muscle? Here's a summary of the movie: Band plays crappy music, killer finds new ways to kill the band members and dozens of fans, then cut to the next massacre. The splatter is over-the-top and includes poisoning vegans so they literally puke their guts out, disemboweling, lots of gory cuts with a sword, driving a truck over band members and so on and so on.

Red Account - My Bloody Angel  
A woman is in love with her husband but she and his best friend think he is possessed with evil for no apparent reason so they try to exorcise him by killing and dismembering him. Starts as pixelated porn, then becomes a Guinea Pig as they meticulously cut him open, disembowel, dismember and carve him into pieces, then she has sex with the body parts and suddenly we're back to the porn. I don't get it.

Resurrection in Blood  
Like Gospel of Taddeo, this is an unwatchable chaotic mess of extreme violence, gore and filth. There are some mobsters with vague and confusing ties to witchcraft, the leader of which is trying to resurrect his murdered wife with various bizarre and gore-ridden rituals. His son and subordinates seem to be as insane as he is, each with their own secret depravities, lashing out in various acts of violence. But the movie frequently throws this plotline out the window in favor of one chaotic violent scene after another, where mates, or random people that appear out of nowhere, maim, stab, sodomize, torture, slice and viciously attack anyone at random in some unexplained fit of depraved emotion until you have no idea what is going on. Also includes random acts of necrophilia, rituals with parts of a torso, sex with a baseball bat, sadomasochism, etc. You've never seen a world quite so chaotic; The jungle is more civilized. Except that it seems the director is so obsessed with depravities, he forgot he was making a movie.

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls, The  
An attempt at horror by a porn director and the result is a horrible zombie movie full of plot holes, soft-core nudity and exploitation, and a handful of short scenes of splatter. We have some cheesy conspiracies, back-stabbings and scandals, a poison in the local milk that kills a few women, and a company that pours toxic waste into a graveyard that brings them back to life. The zombies then run around stealthily taking revenge on the nasty people. The gore includes some genital mutilation, gut-munching and a splatterific birth in the shower.

Rotten Shaolin Zombies  
A splatter short so silly, it's actually good for a few chuckles. Two brothers practice kung-fu all their lives until one of them is eaten by bad sushi (which they weren't charged for) and turns into a zombie. To stop the gory killing spree, he must meet his fate, and fight his brother to the death after getting sage advice from his master with long white eyebrows.

Salome & The Forbidden
See Extreme Movies.

Samurai Zombie  
Empty-headed Japanese zombie-gore flick with the annoying cute little teen attitude of modern Japanese bubble-gum splatter. There's a samurai zombie in full battle-gear rising up from the grave to chase and behead some 'cool' teenage criminals, a travelling family, some weird guy who pops up out of nowhere and can't seem to die, and two silly comic-relief cops. There's a lot of homage to old zombie flicks in the soundtrack, but the movie itself just wanders about pleased with how campy and fun it thinks it is, not doing anything creative or fun with its setup. Every few minutes there is another boring over-the-top geyser of fake CGI blood beheading, then they chase each other some more and pose with guns.

Scared  
Thai confused horror movie that is part supernatural, part slasher, part dumb twist. A group of teenagers (of course) run around in the woods after their bus falls through an old bridge and get picked off gruesomely by strange Final Destination-esque coincidences and a mysterious slasher. Dozens of teenagers are beheaded, impaled, and slashed by a variety of objects and there is one creative death scene after another which, despite the relatively tame gore-effects, places this in the gore section.

Sculpture  
Painfully bad movie that feels like a horror movie version of the Jerry Springer show. There's incest, lust and rape, over-acted trashy endless drama made over a jealous husband, and a trashy girl that is somehow the center of attention just because something bad happened to her. The camera in this movie is like a horny housewife: zooming in with its many body-builder actors that all get to line up to have sex with the trashy girl. This traumatized girl somehow overpowers them one after another in laughable unrealistic scenes as she becomes more and more 'psychotic', scenes featuring increasingly gory body parts with which to build her sculpture for a grand reveal by an ugly cross-dresser. Like I said, Jerry Springer: The horror movie.

Severed Ties  
An attempt at Re-animator style splatter comedy that constantly looks like it should be gory fun but isn't. A scientist tries to create a plasmid to re-generate missing body parts. His mother provides the financial backing with commercial plans that clash with her son's ideals, and seems to have developed an unhealthy attachment to him. Things get out of hand in the lab, he loses an arm, regenerates it from killer lizard genes and runs off into the sewer to continue his work with bums. Includes body-part experimentation galore but the pseudo science and plot is dumb, the gore is mostly rubbery, and the comedy falls flat.

Sexandroide  
An odd trio of erotic-gore performance numbers by a French porn director. The first features a woman in a pub bathroom being stripped, tortured, stabbed, burned and killed by remote-control voodoo doll. The second splatter center-piece features a ghoul and a semi-willing goth-girl in a dungeon, the ghoul realistically sticking needles in all kinds of places, cutting himself and finally eye-gouging and killing the girl. The silly third features a vampire stripping and biting a girl who promptly breaks into nude dancing to Tina Turner.

Shock Invasion  
Another crudely animated gorefest from Frank Sudol, a followup to Dead Fury and even more empty headed. Once again, the Ash-like character runs around the whole movie making bland wisecracks and killing one creature after another. This time its an alien invasion, which managed to nearly wipe out the whole human race in one shot, but now they are slow and stupid enough to be wiped out by one dude with neverending ammunition who played too many video games. And that's all this animation is: A video game. The weapons get upgrades, and so do the monster aliens, and everyone and everything is reduced to piles of gooey splatter while the player has to make his way to a military base with another survivor who happens to be overweight (insert dumb wisecrack here). Repetitively dull.

Slashers Gone Wild  
Witless, empty-headed spoof on slashers by someone who probably watched too much TV. There is no plot, only a game show with slashers that serves as an excuse to stage one death scene after another by giggling teenage killers (and one old follower of Ed Gein). Contestants are killed in a stupid game of truth or dare, the killers claim to kill for environmentalism, killing litterbugs, there's a 'Kill the Cheerleader' interlude, Slasher of the Year contests, and a show down between two slashers that suddenly detours into the supernatural for no good reason, introducing zombies and demons. The gore is gleefully splattery with some well-made scenes of sawing and chainsawing a head, but they're as uncreative as the movie.

Slaughter Disc  
In the old tradition of D'Amato and his followers, this mixture of horror, gore and porn is a dull flick with non-erotic porn and non-scary horror. Mike is obsessed with porn and when he orders a special DVD from a strange site promising out-of-this-world gruesome porn, the disc shows him some snuff then takes over his life, becoming reality. Features only a couple of weak splatter scenes with some nasty brain munching, and lots of uninteresting XXX.

Snuff Kill  
This amateurish snuff movie just doesn't manage to rise above its low budget and overly-simple plot. A twisted frontman convinces his gore-loving friend to film a slasher movie, only things rapidly get out of hand when he decides to make the kills real and the people around him start having suspicions and second thoughts. One victim after another is killed on camera in different ways including chainsaw, decapitation, dynamite, stabbings, face-bashing, etc. Even the splatter isn't that great.

Soultangler  
A dismally terrible horror movie about a mad scientist who invents a drug that enables people to leave their bodies, separate their souls, re-enter other bodies and get gory hallucinations all while under the influence. A reporter, friends, an ex-boss, cops etc. become involved and slowly find out he is conducting experiments with kidnapped girls. Features messy editing, terrible acting, sound and editing, and ketchup gore, with all of the excessive splatter appearing in a climax involving zombies, eye-gouging and re-animated corpses that are falling apart.

Space Butchers (AKA Avaruuden Teurastajat)  
A couple of Finnish teenage fans of Fulci and Bad Taste filmed this one in their homes for fun. Aliens land and infect a bird-spotter with a zombie virus. The secret anti-UFO team moves out to wipe them out and lots of gun fighting and some raspberry jam gut-munching ensue. They obviously had fun with this and there are some z-movie amusements, but the gore is weak and this just isn't much good.

Splattenstein 2000  
Splatter comedy about an insane scientist who goes on a killing rampage while rambling on about his time machine and being chased by the electricity company's special forces. The entertaining splatter includes a variety of blood-gushing effects. What they lack in the acting department they make up for with energy and directorial style, and what they lack in the plot and comedy departments ... well they don't make up for those. The middle and longest in a trilogy of short Splattenstein flicks.

Splatter: Architects of Fear  
A cheap, silly mockumentary about a cheesy, bad post-apocalyptic action movie that was never made, focusing on standard but over-the-top gory special effects. Scenes involving action and splatter effects (including a dismembering center-piece) are shown repetitively, progressively showing how they put it together and set-up the props etc. The special-effects team include a hunchback mutant who likes to chew on mice and men, and the fake movie features punk-Amazon women fighting with mutant men, or having literally mind-blowing sex with them. For fans of silly bad movies only.

Street Trash  
Unfocused, repulsive, splatter-fest movie about a wide variety of trashy characters (mostly street bums) doing an even wider variety of horrible things and using a lot of humorless dialog. The extreme gore is the only thing interesting here, featuring people melting in different colors or exploding after drinking some very old, mysterious booze. Then there is some sex, murder, necrophilia, and a bunch of people playing 'monkey in the middle' with a severed penis.

Subconscious Cruelty
See Extreme Movies.

Suburban Sasquatch  
A big man in a cheap gorilla suit with breasts runs around tearing people apart while being hunted down by a spiritual-minded, beautiful Native American girl in a mini-skirt. There is also a lot of story here involving cop-buddies with a past, a struggling reporter, a silly romance, some family drama etc. Unfortunately it's all overlong and limp, with weak acting and pocket-change CGI gore effects involving over-the-top dismemberments, crushing, clawing and blood splatter. For fans of so-bad-it's-good movies, with a pretty girl as a bonus.

Taint, The  
Insanely perverted splatter-fest, with almost more body fluids than gore, that has much more in common with a Chris Seaver movie or Street Trash, than, say, Bad Taste. A mad scientist has invented a new form of viagra that turns men into raving misogynist psychopaths with constantly ejaculating large hardons. An stoner-emo-blonde-wimp finds himself in a town where the final gender battle is well on its way, with men tearing apart women (while ejaculating) while some women fight back. The premise could have made a campy splatter satire but there is no wit to be found in this dud. You'd have to think that shooting off other men's penises in a spray of blood is funny, or that a woman who smashes her boyfriend's skull in then reaches into his head to pull his brain out while screaming 'nooooo' and melodramatic music plays is high comedy. Other scenes include a montage of a closet-homosexual gym teacher working out, a hillbilly penis-zombie pooping out of his flaps, nightmares involving buckets of sperm and women being torn apart, and lots of retarded spoofing and dialogue straight out of a Seaver movie. The gore effects are absolutely superb, but that's all that's good about this witless trash. Is it too much to ask that our splatter movies have a minimum of wit or character?

Tales from the Cannibal Side  
Three short, dull, amateurish shorts. Only the last one delivers any splatter and it's lame, the rest of the time the movies cut away from any nastiness. The first is about a woman who meets a couple to fulfill her ultimate fantasy of being eaten, the second involves a willing goth girl at a party of cannibalistic girls, the third is about a family of butchers who kill people at random, pull out their guts, and eat them. Not much plot and lots of nudity, even from the girls you don't want to see.

Tortura  
More extreme German splatter, this one about the good ol' done-to-death cannibal family that kidnaps some youths to play with and torture. With these amateur movies, you know automatically that once a cannibal family starts its carnage, it's not going to stop and deprive the special-effects person of his fun. We still have to watch some badly acted setup though, with some youths having some drama while night-clubbing only to be abducted and everything put back into perspective. The cannibals are laughably unconvincing, but the gore is nasty, explicit and brutal, involving arm-skinning, eye-gouging, finger barbecues, getting blood out of a nipple with a straw, and other social pleasantries.

Train
See Extreme Sadism.

Trek, The  
Fatally flawed backwoods horror that had some potential. It's 35 minutes of slow setup and then 35 minutes of brutal survival as a couple on their honeymoon meet a couple of feral cave dwellers. The setup intercuts two elements, one good one bad: There's the pleasant trek into some mountains deep into the wild with a realistic new couple in love, featuring character development and above-average acting. And there's the poorly made mockumentary of an investigation into their background and disappearance with interviews of their family members and friends all of which feels fake and tiresomely long. When the clash erupts, the ordinary dude turns into a psychopath for no good reason, thus killing all of his character development, to the point where I wanted to cheer the backwoods freak, except that the freak turned out to be even nastier and gratuitously sadistic with graphic and brutal physical abuse that seemed shoehorned in just to please the torture-porn crowd. Somewhere, this movie really lost its way. Watch Deliverance again instead.

Trepanator  
Hailed as a cheap, French Re-Animator clone by the maker of Ogroff but this is a mess. A mad doctor performs grotesque experiments in an insane asylum, keeping a truck-load of body parts (some of them moving) in the basement. After he is caught, his son goes to New York to contnue his work with the business of brain transplants, stealing brains from famous people. Among other things, he performs surgery by chainsawing a man to pieces, but when the wife becomes displeased, he sews him back together and returns him to his wife on crutches. The plot falls apart, but so do people's heads, and soon there is out-of-control violence, an assistant who fries a brain for breakfast, and a group of dead bodies that come back for revenge with the help of a dismembered cat. Not as fun as it sounds but entertaining for so-bad-its-good genre fans.

Ubaldo Terzani Horror Show  
Albanesi's follow-up to Last House in the Woods which was an homage to grindhouse horror. This one is about a horror fan writing a horror movie with a horror writer celebrity in a cliched plot about the power of horror writers. The classic, in this genre, of course, is In the Mouth of Madness. Here it's just about some horny older man with delusions of grandeur. The young writer gets gory nightmares while collaborating with the experienced writer, or are they just nightmares? The body-part and eye-gouging splatter is left for the finale, but it's nothing to write home about.

Urban Flesh  
Some teenagers get bored and decide to become cannibals. They roam the city killing people at random, teasing and abusing them, then cut them open and gnaw on their intestines and unborn fetuses. The other half of the movie features a useless plot of a cop tracking them down slowly, and random scenes of the youth hanging out and having sex. Something like a tamer precursor to August Underground. Boring.

Urban Scumbags vs. Countryside Zombies  
Shoestring zombie comedy made on-the-fly by some German youths. A teenager is caught smoking pot and sent to a school in the country populated by strange teachers, bumpkins and a mad scientist. When some dropped biochemical waste turns people into zombies, the youths and teacher go on a killing spree. Most of the movie consists of silly cartoonish home-made comedy with only a couple of splatter scenes, the centerpiece being the classic head-slicing with a shovel, and various other tributes to horror movies. They obviously had fun making this, but this needed more work.

Video Violence 1 & 2    
Homemade gore movie about homemade gore movies. A couple moves into a city where people seem to have an obsession with gory horror movies. Some locals grab visitors and kill them in various creative ways to make their own homemade splatter movies. The newcomers try to figure out what's going on while more splatter video tapes keep appearing. The sequel features a splatter TV host show where people send in their work and guests are kill...oh you get the idea. Bad acting, slow pace, dull plot. The camp should have raised this to H.G. Lewis territory, but, unfortunately, it lacks the charm, and the abundant gore ranges from terribly fake to weak.

Vlog  
A movie as dumb and empty-headed as vlogs (video blogs). For thirty minutes, we have to plough through some ditzy vlogging by a airheaded blonde that thinks she's better than others because she makes fun of them. Then, out of nowhere, people she knows start getting murdered in gruesome ways with graphic and gory dismemberment and body-explosions posted on the internet. Then there's a twist which makes absolutely no sense. A waste of time.

Witch's Sabbath, The  
A group of stripper witches with boob jobs lure people into their basement for some decapitation and dismemberment as sacrifices to their god. Nudity, breasts, gore, heavy metal and Ron Jeremy should add up to at least a fun b-movie but instead we have lots of fake breasts, dull and scarce splatter, and annoying, dumb acting.

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings  
Why do the movie companies feel the need to kill every moderately good horror movie with endless sequels, then after it has been run to the ground, stomp on its head for a while and hope for spare change, then dismember it and sell it for parts? This time around, the by-now extremely goofy inbred cannibals (I've seen scarier makeup in Toxic Avenger) have set up shop in a deserted insane asylum for some reason, which has been abandoned for no good reason. And this time around, the cannon fodder are none other than...yup, oversexed teenagers! Really guys? This is what you fall back on? Besides the stupid writing, stupid hillbilly cannibals and stupid victims, it's now just about coming up with a new tool for the next splattery death scene. So here is the proper review for the movie: Dismemberment by pulley, decapitation by barbed wire, slow death by snowmobile, death by giant drill, and one teenager gets turned into a gourmet meal while still alive. There, I spoiled it all.

Zombie Beach Party  
A mixture of idiotic wrestling attitudes and a silly zombie movie with a handful of splatter scenes. Wrestling heroes wearing masks go after a zombie king who is building a legion of the undead and experimenting with genetics. Mostly wrestling scenes with posing attitudes, and the occasional gore isn't anything worth looking for.

Zombie Chronicles, The  
Limp zombie horror movie consisting of two short stories within a wrapper story of a writer in search of a ghost story. She encounters a strange old drunk who tells her two stories of people in the woods who encounter the undead, one involving a drill-sergeant, his girl and a mysterious stalker, the other about campers and a mixed family of undead and alive. Everything is weak, slow, and cliched involving lots of running in the woods (the mainstay of low-budget movies), until the zombies catch up, then Joe Castro kicks in with two or three over-the-top but uninteresting splatter scenes of intestines and brains.

Zombie Farm  
Let's see... cannibal hillbillies, terrorists, FBI, a gun-crazy Gulf War vet, redneck humor, zombie infestation, annoying oversexed teenagers. All copy-and-paste elements thrown into this low-budget zombie movie and blended together. Unfortunately, there also no wit or creativity. The splatter kicks off in high gear in the beginning with plenty of gut-munching, slicings and head-smashing, but thenit settles for a video game shootout for the second half with survivors vs. a town full of zombies. Oh, and the zombies start due to terrorists infecting the water. Very minimally entertaining as long as you don't expect much.

Zombiegore  
The gore, unfortunately, consists mainly of buckets of splattering blood and one extremely inept face ripping scene. The tagline says "Another 90 minutes of your life will be wasted by watching this movie" and although I found the over-the-top moronic scenes so-bad-they're-funny, they were far and few between. There is no plot, just cartoonish characters prancing in the woods battling zombies and a deranged doctor with a taste for gore, a child (acted by a guy) and his mother (acted by a guy) who chew on each other after being infected, lots of guns and silly bloody fights, a very slow pace, and a cool death metal performance.

Zombie Holocaust  
A dismal rip-off and nonsensical mix of Fulci's Zombie and the cannibal genre. Strange deaths and cannibalistic behaviour in New York lead a reporter and a few other adventurous people to an island with an eccentric doctor and ritualistic cannibalism. Extremely gory and very dumb.

Zombiejäger, Die  
Swedish/German zombie movie that tries to be Bad Taste but ends up being an Uwe Boll movie without the budget or the camerawork. A trio of zombie killers is hired to clean up Gothenberg city from a zombie plague, led by a mysterious evil creature that is building himself a super-zombie-warrior. That's it for the plot. The movie is basically a bunch of youngsters trying to act cool in a shoot-em-up zombie computer game. There is one over-the-top splatter scene involving face skinning and the rest is dull non-stop bloody violence and zombie munching without any creativity or splatstick. Backed by horribly framed and shaky camerawork and a pounding soundtrack.

Zombi New Millennium  
Home-made Italian zombie movie by Alex Visani with a lot of night shots and grainy lighting. The only thing new this one brings to the zombie genre is that the zombie plague starts through a internet/computers/cellphones virus, which is a silly concept. Otherwise, this is cliched and very low-budget, with minimal setup, some conversion scenes as people grow sharp demonic teeth just by using their cellphone, then some chase scenes and lots of ropey intestines in only a couple of uneventful splatter scenes with some wormy homages to 80s horror.

Zombie: The Resurrection  
Another one of those lame 'teenagers playing zombies in the woods' flicks. 50 minutes (with 15 minutes of credits), no plot, just survivors trying to act tough vs. zombies. The gore, although plentiful, is as weak as it gets, consisting of mostly lots of blood, a handful of pieces of meat, and a woman half buried in the ground with blood and guts to replace her middle-section.

Zombie Toxin
See Extreme Movies.




© 2000- by Zev Toledano Table of Contents