Gore & Splatter

Many horror/slasher movies have generous seasonings of gore (e.g. Friday the 13th) but the movies listed here have gleefully excessive amounts of it. In other words, gore deserves top billing in these movies and is one of the first things you think of when these movies are mentioned. See also the many splatter/gore film-makers in the Table of Contents as well as the Shockumentaries.


ABCs of Death 2, The
See Extreme Movies.

Autopsy of Jane Doe, The  
A horror movie hasn't gotten under my skin and scared me like this in years. This is a masterpiece of old-school horror that knows exactly how to build it up, how to use its idea to the fullest without losing its focus or adding extraneous cheap horror elements, and how to gently cross the border between the real and the supernatural so that it creeps up on you and hits you. Never has a naked dead body been used so effectively, never has gore been so justified and less gratuitous since the mystery emerges from the gore and the autopsy, the horror emerges from autopsy, and the whole movie revolves around Jane Doe in ways you don't expect. But this is not for modern horror watchers that expect gruesome splatter and thrills - it will bore everyone except real horror aficionados. The story is about a very mysterious mass murder, a strange body that turned up at the murder site, and the father and son coroner team that have been given the task of taking her apart to find clues. They do this late at night under pressure, the lighting and atmosphere are masterful, and their reactions are very well done, as the case becomes more and more creepy, then horrifying. From the director of one of the only found-footage movies I loved: Trollhunter. But this is nothing like that movie obviously, and this only goes to show that this is a director to watch out for.

Bagman - Profession: Murderer  
A 20 minute splatstick worthy of Peter Jackson. The only survivor of a massacre wakes up in a hospital and slowly remembers the events where a mysterious man with a bag over his head tore apart two dozen street youth. Bad but entertaining over-the-top acting, and non-stop creative comedic splatter that Jackson would be proud of, including opening an umbrella inside of a man, two axes to the butt and shoving a man's head through another man's torso.

Boys, The  
See TV.

Dead and Breakfast  
A group of youngsters on their way to a wedding get caught in a hick town with a dark supernatural secret that is taking over live and dead people, making them go on a killing rampage. The splatter flies freely while the local musician sings amusing ditties, and the city folk find themselves dancing with the manure-loving locals in more ways than one. This builds up to an entertaining siege by a horde of zombies vs. home-made weapons while a strange drifter tries to do battle with gruesome black magic. Although this plot isn't original and the humor won't make you roll on the floor laughing, the comedy has its own unique quirky charm, there is plenty of love for the splatter-comedy genre, as well as good acting and special effects. A slew of quirky characters, and the winning goofiness of the whole thing makes this one lightly recommended to fans of the genre. In short, not a classic, but an above-average, entertaining, old-school, splatter comedy with some winning eccentric humor.

Perhaps working with Peter Jackson pays off, as the director of this fun one has delivered the best metalhead-splatter horror-comedy so far. If you're into metal and thought Trick or Treat was a fun idea but painfully 80s, cheesy, too full of hair metal and not enough gore, then this should be right up your alley. It's about two New-Zealand metalheads that form an extreme metal band with some local nerds to the horror of a Jesus-worshipping uncle and aunt. They try to avoid the metal-hating jock-bullies at school, and get their hands on some demon-raising music from a local metal legend who is being hunted by a Satan-worshipping cult. Evil Deadites happen, with lots of Jackson-esque splatter and wisecracking. Unfortunately, much of the splatstick involves dildos and bodily functions, but it is still witty and fun despite this juvenile obsession. There are lots of metalhead in-jokes, the music covers everything from power-metal to death and black metal, the characters are colorful, and the splatter is superb.

Jake West should really be making more movies, given the talent for creative splatter comedy evident in this and in Evil Aliens. This is his best work yet, a glorious, ballsy, fun and wicked tribute to chauvinism, macho-restoration and political incorrectness. A group of guys with female trouble decide to take a trip to a remote village populated mostly by women in an attempt to cheer up their friend who just got divorced. Instead, they encounter chaos and a town full of cannibalistic man-hating ghoul-women. Who will survive, who will cross-dress in order to appease the women, and who will break all the rules and regain his manhood? Full of gore and funny splatstick, creative fights and situations, and a parade of entertaining angry monster-women, including everything from an amazon actress with a sword, to a butch butcher, a granny with spine-snipping scissors, a limb-chopping hairdresser armed with two large scissors, and a fat lady with a taste for man-fingers. Only the British could have pulled this off. Vastly entertaining and very welcome.

Evil Aliens  
A disgusting splatstick comedy that gets points for being entertaining rather than witty and goes for over-the-top bad-taste, topping Peter Jackson in gruesomeness but not in creativity. A tabloid camera crew complete with bitchy reporter and UFO fanatic visit a Welsh farm where aliens were reported to have landed, and soon find wild, inbred Welshmen battling it out with vicious Aliens who are into all the good ol' Alien social standards of impregnation, anal probing and cattle mutilation (all filmed with over-the-top gore). A lame start leads to a very entertaining gory romp where annoying characters are gleefully killed off one by one. Features a very entertaining Welsh farmer with a bad eye and a classic scene with a combine harvester.

Evil Dead  
A cult blend of intense horror, some touches of black humor, impressively energetic and engaging camera-work, and lots of gore. A group of youngsters vacation in a deserted cabin and find truly unstoppable evil linked to a Book of the Dead that possesses them and then sets off an anarchical bloodbath. Features buckets of blood and gruesome makeup, an invisible evil force that the inventive cameras and editing make visible, and violent, horny trees. Alternates between highly effective intense horror and quirky dark entertainment, but it is undeniably an unforgettable, energetic and unique horror classic.

Evil Dead 2  
This revisitation of the same story from the first Evil Dead is actually a comedy/splatter movie with the incredible energetic style of Raimi and over-the-top gore. The intensity, splatter and energy are all boosted, but this time the approach is campy, resulting in another unique horror experience. Bruce fights not only evil in this one but also his own possessed hand, carving himself and the dead with a chainsaw until he and the movie reach a crescendo of madness, dancing with a haunted lampshade amidst the carnage. Cult entertainment, and one of the best splatter movies out there. The third in the series is just silly camp however that turned into a spoof of itself.

Forklift Driver Klaus: The First Day On the Job  
A popular 10 minute short supposedly for educating forklift workers on safety at work, but actually a hilarious splatterfest in the vein of Peter Jackson. Men get sliced in half, chainsawed, forklifted, etc.

From Dusk 'til Dawn  
A severely schizophrenic movie directed in two parts by two directors. The first is Tarantino with his usual violent bad-ass characters and entertainingly quirky dialog as two criminal brothers travel on a crime spree, one of which happens to be a disturbed rapist psychopath (Tarantino). They cross paths with an angry former minister (Keitel) and his family, and the sparks really fly. Then we take an erotic break with Hayek's most sizzling dance at the Titty Twister, and suddenly everything erupts into splatter madness with campy battles against vicious bloody vampires, and the body parts fly in over-the-top splatstick. Unfocused, but fun.

I Am a Hero  
Believe it or not, this is a fresh take on the extremely populated zombie genre, and even the zombies are different. It's a Japanese live-action comedy-action-horror hybrid based on a manga, and this shows in its bizarre, creative, albeit unrealistic use of zombies. It starts slowly with a sad-sack failed manga artist as the protagonist who can only dream of being a hero with a shotgun, but when the zombie outbreak erupts, it's one creepy and action-packed zombie attack after another, with a few well-placed dramatic and blackly-comic pauses in the middle, while the survivors try to make it to Mount Fuji. Zombie fans will also be happy to know that the second half takes place in a shopping mall in an entertaining homage to Romero. The zombies are a combination of super-powered biting machines with super-strength, satiric, braindead but talking ex-humans that turn a single memory or phrase from their lives into obsessive loops, creepy bloated blackened faces with fish-eyes, and super-zombies that often run, twist or jump in physically impossible ways. The gore is well done but pretty normal for a zombie movie, until the ending climax that features more exploding heads than you can count. A well-balanced, entertaining zombie movie.

Aja seems to be making the Hollywood b-movie rounds: First a slasher, then a backwoods horror remake, then an Asian remake, and now a remake of a Jaws ripoff. The funny thing is how he manages to add his own touch to each of these sub-genres and turn such bad movies into ferocious, gory beasts with muscle. The description for this movie is gore, boobs, nudity, gore, lesbians, ferocious gore, more boobs and incredibly over-the-top nihilistic massacre gore peppered with horror cameos and a big sense of tongue-in-cheek fun. Aja sets up a bunch of annoyingly oversexed idiotic party-animals for the kill, making us want them to get their dues, then exceeds our expectations with a vicious massacre scene that must be seen to be believed. This movie is hypocritical and knows it, exploiting, then punishing the exploiters in the movie in the most nasty way possible. This is a movie that can show a piranha biting off a penis, then spitting it back out again half chewed up in extreme 3D close-up. This is a B-movie with A-movie cinematography, budget and cameos by people that just want to have fun making a bad b-movie. I would have preferred more wit, but Aja makes it so eye-poppingly savage and over-the-top that it somehow becomes the definitive example of the genre while spoofing it. Oh, the plot? A party breaks out at a local lake after an earthquake sets free a swarm of prehistoric piranha. The sheriff's warnings go unheard...

Project Wolf Hunting  
Sometimes, all you need is ultra-gory action. This bonkers Korean movie runs for two hours, starts its splattery ultra-violence early on, climaxes early, then finds new ways to up the violence every half an hour, thus distracting us from the barebones and very dubious plot. Thankfully, the violence and action are well done. As with movies like From Dusk 'til Dawn, just when you think you think you know what the movie is about, it switches genres. This movie also has no qualms about killing everyone and anyone at any time. And when it does, overkill is just a warm-up. It's just a rampage of indiscriminate splatter. The plot starts with a Con-Air style ship full of extreme and psychopathic convicts being shipped to Korea. Then it switches to sci-fi (think something like Universal Soldier, as directed by Peter Jackson). Bodies are crushed and ripped apart in every way imaginable, always with geysers of blood. After two hours of this, this will leave you calm as a kitten.

Rambo IV  
Rather than rebooting this character and exploring the place of Rambo in the modern world as I hoped, Stallone goes for box-office success by simply going for the popular image of Rambo: A one-man killing machine underdog who wipes out whole third-world armies when they get too vicious. This time, Rambo is a cynical snake-catcher in Thailand who is recruited by naive Christian missionaries on a mission to Burma. Rambo knows what he is and hates himself for it, therefore he can't resist when a moral idealist wants to save a few lives. Of course, the mission gets captured and Rambo has to save the day. We've seen war carnage in Saving Private Ryan, but this one gives the CGI gore top billing, with endless carnage sequences showing decapitations, splatter and limbs flying off of 50 soldiers in a matter of 3 seconds. I liked the clash of bleeding-heart idealism and Rambo, and this is the best aspect of the movie, although of course this isn't explored with much depth. The movie is too short and simple, going for Rambo III style action rather than First Blood depth of character. But I guess I'm nostalgic for old-school one-man action entertainment so this gets a thumbs-up. The extended edition trims out a bit of the rougher and gratuitous details of the violence without losing most of the gore and ultra-violence, and adds more character development, and is thus a slightly better movie.

Redd Inc.  
Surprisingly good and underrated little horror movie with pitch black comedic notes. The couple of over-the-top old-school gore scenes come courtesy of Tom Savini, the personality is delivered by Nicholas Hope who I haven't seen in something this brutal and colorful since Bad Boy Bubby, and the writers succeed in making it witty with a truly clever final fifteen minutes that make it all worthwhile (something that is sorely lacking in most modern horror movies). A man is put away for killing company directors by decapitation. Years later, everyone involved in the case, from the internet stripper witness, to the judge, is kidnapped and made to work in insane conditions on various legal tasks by the demented killer who was supposed to be dead. Every minor infraction of office rules result in brutal consequences while they are chained to their desks and computers. To tell more would be to spoil it, but it's very worthwhile. Not a masterpiece, but it's one of those little hidden horror movie gems.

After 'The Boys' and this film, I do believe, somehow, over-the-top splatter flicks have become super-mainstream. Go figure. This is a fun one, as long as you can avoid nitpicking. Nicolas Cage is Dracula, and he is so evil, he turns people into his codependents and lies to them. Truly a bad man. Of course, that is when he isn't ripping apart other people and eating them. Renfield, his long-standing familiar and slave, is having an existential crisis and tries to handle it in a support group. But when a principled cop, with her hate for a particularly brutal mafia, cross his path, things take a turn to the ultra-violent, and Dracula's evil and manipulative ambitions are growing. Impossible geysers of blood and body parts fly everywhere in this one. They break the rules of vampires to create super-powers, and the ending employs one bad deux-ex-machina after another. But the movie is still loads of fun as a comedy-horror-splatter-action extravaganza.

Satanic Panic  
The combination of horror, comedy and nasty gore is difficult to do right, and this one surprised me by pulling it off. It's about a financially poor virgin pizza-delivery guy...girl...person who suddenly finds herself in a house of filthy rich Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice. Great setup huh? That's only the beginning. The Satanists are all warped, truly evil sadists with an arsenal of extremely nasty and surprising spells, as well as a massive killer drill-dildo. Body parts are used in one gross-out gag after another as the night develops and the Satanists pull out all the stops to get their virgin, delivering scenes that are warped, horrifying and funny all at the same time. But don't worry, just think of two fuzzy bunnies. The ending isn't terrible but could have been better. Otherwise, this is entertaining extreme fun brought to you by Fangoria.

This one is like a catalog of b-movie creature-horror ideas and effects. The alien here can do everything: Land in a pod, invade and take over human bodies, develop tentacles and other mutations, spit acid, impregnate humans, create zombies, eat or digest animals and humans, and infest the world with slithering aliens. The latex and gooey effects are so over the top they are slightly reminiscent of Society, there are some nasty breeding scenes, and a couple of splashy splatter scenes are thrown in for laughs. Unfortunately, it lacks a certain level of wit, and it doesn't reach the levels of Tremors, but what does? Entertaining b-movie horror-comedy, as long as you know what to expect.

See TV.

Starship Troopers  
Verhoeven's brutal sci-fi masterpiece is unrelenting in its energy, violence, gore and social satire. In this future, earth is attacked by ferocious species of massive insects that make battle with hi-tech weaponry as well as sheer numbers of brutal insects that rip apart the puny humans. The fascist Earth government reacts by recruiting and training plastic youths into an efficient war machine, and the brutality really takes off, in scenes obviously inspired by WWII. The clashing of picture-perfect youths warring against massive, brutal alien bugs under fascist like commanders and governments result in breathtaking effects, endless bloody violence and unrelenting tension as well as Verhoeven-tinged soap drama and barbed satire. Incredibly good.

Thing, The  
Carpenter's remake is a superb horror classic, very memorable for the amazing gore effects and it is a classic of horror paranoia. A group of scientists on Antarctica discover an alien life form that infects animal and human bodies in bizarre and horrific ways, physically controlling and mutating body parts. The isolated and cold setting adds to the fear and horror of not knowing who is infected, and former friends mutate into disgusting creatures with very impressive and horrifying special effects. Intense paranoia, isolation and horror ensue.

A labor of love by a pair of new directors. The ingredients are mostly unoriginal but the way it all comes together as a mix of zombie movie, comedy, splatter, sci-fi and John Woo gun-play parody are entertaining to say the least. There are scores of homages (or ripoffs) to Romero, Raimi, Jackson, and a complex plot that gives the zombie genre a very interesting twist a la Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Flawed due to annoying and dumb characters but this ambitious genre-salad, like Lifeforce, will either confuse and bore you, or entertain your socks off.
Of Some Interest

ABCs of Death, The
See Extreme Movies.

ABCs of Death 2.5  
The half-sequel numbering on this one is due to the way they collected these: As opposed to 1 & 2 where they collected the works of 25 known directors and one amateur competition winner, this one consists of the top 26 shorts that were submitted for the contest out of a total of 500 shorts. So they are not exactly leftovers; quite the opposite. They are the top shorts that were received from lesser-known directors. As opposed to 1 & 2 however, the focus is less on variety and strangeness and more on the gore, violence and gross-outs, although many do have a sense of humor. So the creativity is relatively lower here with a bit less of a variety. The first half is very strong and if the whole collection had the same quality this would be a superb collection. But it does get tiresome and pointless in the second half with only a couple of exceptions. In any case it's worth a watch if gore is your thing: A super-hero of VHS protects a video store in an entertaining splatstick short, there's a twisted stop-motion gory animation about a fear of giving birth, then a nifty bloody vampire short with a twist, a delightfully twisted short about innocent kids that encounter a dying man, two gory zombie shorts one of them featuring a manure-zombie, a wickedly funny parody of Mad Max with an ultra-violent splattery chase on tricycles with kid's toys, an amusing violent war between death metal and mariachi bands, a bizarre gross-out Cronenbergian psychotherapy session, a biting satire on how nice people exploit martyrdom, and the violence of a macho matador becomes a vicious gender-war. And then the second half: A poor violent short involving a mermaid, a silly Christmas-monster comedy short, a pointlessly disgusting short about a fat man with an excrement problem, Messiah is an amusingly dark pagan ritual gone wrong where the victim is not what she seems and is one good short in the second half, Mind-Meld is just gruesome torture-porn with a nonsensical twist, Miracle is semi-interesting with a box that can bring both heaven and hell, Mobile is torture-porn with a really twisted and hilarious but silly twist, Mom is another zombie movie except with kids and it's pretty good, Moonstruck is a strange but nonsensical paper-cut-out animation about infidelity and ghosts, Mormon Missionaries is a mediocre violent one about door-to-door missionaries with a weak twist, Mother has a big scary spider but is pointless, Muff features a juvenile sex-splatter surprise, Munging is pointlessly disgusting necrophilia, and finally, it ends on Mutant with a gory mutation horror except it does nothing interesting.

ABCs of Superheroes  
Despite the title referencing ABCs of Death, this doesn't feature shorts by 26 directors; it is a labor of love by 2 directors and the 26 shorts are so varied and jam-packed with silly, outrageous and cheesy ideas, not to mention a cast of about 200 people, that it may as well have been done by 26 directors. It starts with lots of cheese, painfully silly, absolutely terrible, pocket-change superheroes, in shorts that are so purposely bad, they're mostly funny. At least they kept the ABC format where even the bad stuff is too short to wear out its welcome. Things get increasingly more extreme, gross, outrageous, campy and splattery and the final two shorts are so bonkers, there's something new and goofy every other second. It starts with an abused office-boy who mutates into Almighty Ape and tears apart people in splattery ways, there's Cowboy-Man who negotiates with terrorists, including Cheese Guevara, there's the sexy Electric-Eel woman who is naked for mysterious reasons, Jörg Buttgereit (!) makes a super-robot-villian out of Hitler's brain, Instant Girl is a superheroine who kills innocent bystanders for the flimsiest reasons, just because she can, Lightspeed Laundromat is a hilarious super-hero who provides a valuable service to superheroes, Menstru-Girl kills people in an unusual way, Quack Man is no laughing matter as things can get very violent!, Popular Girl is popular because she has a giant penis, but Christian parents object whatever a blaxploitation-style sci-fi Jesus may say, Rape-Robot from the future is on a mission and he is unstoppable! ... or is he? Shitstorm is a heroine that attacks internet trolls with a storm they were not expecting! And there's extreme splattery violence against children as inspired by Lloyd Kaufman.

See Extreme Movies.

Strictly average slasher with some good and bad points. It actually starts as if it were a found-footage horror movie as a group of young film-students travel to a small town with a notorious, abandoned, supposedly haunted hospital. But then it switches genres to an old-school chase-n-slash, with gruesome gory kills and a very standard slasher back-story. The acting ranges from passable to weak, the characters are OK, the story is cookie-cutter stuff, and the sound is terrible. But it gets the job done with a good location and a scary killer. I don't like slashers, but if you are a low-budget-slasher fan you may get something out of it.

Ash vs Evil Dead  
See TV.

Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer  
They really got the old 80s Troma vibe and spirit down pat in this one. It's obviously very low-budget, but of the type that embraces its limitations with a good sense of trashy and silly comedy. Atom is a bowling & zombie geek with a bitch of a girlfriend and a nemesis in the form of an evil bowling master who is *gasp* sponsored. He also has to live up to his bowling-legend grandfather (Lloyd Kaufman). When his head gets knocked one too many times and his rival steals his girlfriend, the zombies come out, and it's up to Atom to save the world... well kinda. The splatter effects, although low-budget and although they unrealistically tear apart bodies like rag dolls full of guts and blood, are gleefully way over-the-top with a somewhat nasty streak of creativity. Fetuses and umbilical cords are used in one scene, heads are smashed and crushed regularly in really messy ways, intestines splash more than just blood, and one girl gets a surprise umbrella impalement. Definitely one for Troma fans.

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies  
Zombie-comedies are a dime-a-dozen these days, ranging from poor to superb. This Austrian variation goes for the overly silly and light splatter-comedy, like a zombie cartoon, but it does have its really good points as well. A snowboarding buffoon and his team find themselves stranded in the Alps after a fiasco, and a local inventor with an unusual snow-machine has a fiasco of his own with an infected investor and some re-animated deer. Most of the locals seem to act the same whether they are zombie or not, except for the flesh-eating aspect that is. Zombie mayhem, splatter, massacre and snowboarding hijinks ensue. The characters are mostly bland, stiffly acted with strong accents, or too comical, with one glaring exception: A supporting character called Rita who owns the ski-pub steals the movie with her great personality and ability to massacre dozens of zombies while still looking surprised. The splatter starts off light and with the usual zombie disemboweling, but gradually increases in creativity and in its bucket-loads until the Peter Jackson-esque finale with a forage chopper. Among other things, features a clumsy and unproductive zombie chase on slippery ice, zombie drunk dancing, and over a dozen different ways to kill with ski-poles and snowboards. A moderately entertaining zombie popcorn flick as long as you aren't expecting a classic.

Babysitter: Killer Queen, The  
The first Babysitter movie was a surprisingly fun b-movie throwback with a good balance of fun, charming and goofy characters that had chemistry. This sequel is a pure cash-in that doesn't seem to understand what made the first movie a minor popcorn horror-comedy hit, and it opts for over-the-top cartoon-level silliness and splatter instead. There is still fun to be had, but it doesn't hold a candle to the first. Cole is now an older teenager trying to recover from the babysitter cult and broken heart from the first movie. Everyone thinks he is crazy, there's a new badass girl in town, and a group of students hijack him to a party. But all is not as it seems. Does he still need his babysitter? The deaths are like a splatter version of a road-runner cartoon. It's dumb, with some goofy laughs.

Bad Meat  
Canadian horror with black-comedy about a camp for young criminal delinquents run by sadistic guards. When a batch of bad meat hits the camp, some of them turn into rabid flesh-eaters, triggering a fight for survival. The characters are solid and amusing, some of them are over-the-top. The actors in the role of the guards have a ball at first as sadistic neo-Nazis with a deviant sexual drive to match, and then as flesh-eaters. There's more vomit than gore, and some truly repulsive wild kinky sex scenes that go bad, but the above-average splatter is there as well. The one huge flaw is the complete non-ending leaving everything hanging right in the middle of the story and danger.

Barn, The  
On the one hand, it's tiresome that so many new movies have nothing new to say and are just remaking old movies or paying homages. On the other hand, this one really gets it right to the point that it actually features an original horror plot that could have easily been written and filmed in the 80s. It doesn't try to be clever and add twists, or to be 'meta', it doesn't insert anachronisms, feature millennial-style actors, try to show off, or add over-the-top CGI-gore. It just does an 80s horror movie straight with all of its fun flaws and cheesy goodness. This director really likes 80s horror without condescension. It's a Halloween-themed horror movie about a group of teenagers on double-secret suspension on their way to a concert, stopping by to collect some candy from a strange town in order to complete their assigned punishment. One guy has figured out all of Halloween's many secret rules of survival. But even he is challenged when they encounter blood-thirsty Halloween-demons. The movie features the usual 80s staples: An old evil, someone that made a pact with the evil, hand-made gore and creative deaths, ordinary likeable youths in danger with some character (as opposed to the newer obnoxious & forgettable horny ones), a sex scene, cheesy fight scenes and electricity-effects, etc. The gore is mostly at the level of a standard 80s slasher, but on a couple of occasions when a massacre comes up, it does deliver more vicious death and splatter. A fun homage.

I could say that this is a sharply made slasher with gory deaths, but that wouldn't be fair to the movie. Neither would calling it a home-invasion movie. See, because some of the killing involves a 13 year old girl with rage issues, as well as smart Neo-Nazis escaped convicts, and the three-dimensional characterizations are done very well. Not that the movie has depth, but the characters are surprisingly well done, making this one both intensely entertaining and even a bit disturbing. To say more would be to spoil it. The deaths are creative and excessively violent, and the camera makes sure you get every graphic detail, but, as I said, this movie has a bit more to it than that. It's only a little horror movie with an entertaining twist on ultra-violence, but it hits the target very firmly.

Below Man  
Before he turned to boring plotless gornography, evidently Phil Stevens was still into plots, and somewhat creative ones at that. This first, rough, low-budget full-length from Stevens is a fantasy-horror movie with splatter. An undead being called Rubin Card is the gatekeeper of some kind of alternate world/underworld called 'Flipside'. The gates to and from this world is through occupied coffins or through human torsos. There are also hybrid human mutants usually with severe mental issues and perversions (razor blade masturbation). When hostile creatures start crossing over, and a gas-mask wearing being starts killing off the human mutants and closing off portals, he springs into action. Bodies start piling up, exploding, or are brutally torn apart and butchered. Keep in mind the movie has a pocket-change budget despite the plot description. It does rather well with its limits, and the acting is good, although the plot isn't really developed enough beyond the setup, visuals, cheap props and gore.

Rare Japanese splatter short about scientists conducting a special experiment and a hooded mutant monster that comes after them. The gore is extreme and realistic and includes eye gouging, test tube stabbings and disembowelings.

Gross-out body-horror movie in the vein of The Fly or Incredible Melting Man, except its focus is more on gleefully grossing out its audience rather than on the fascinating story and realism of The Fly. A girl on her bachelorette party is having doubts about her upcoming marriage, but when she gets bitten by a mysterious bug, a transformation takes place that does not bode well with the marriage, to say the least. The special effects crew go all out with massive amounts of insect eggs, mutations, pus-splatter, goo, sticky nests and webbing, diseased skin, vomit and so on. Which makes her friends and enemies' reactions all the more silly and unrealistic as one by one they visit their deteriorating friend and somehow don't run out screaming for the hazmat crew. As with The Fly, her personality changes for the worse, including violent instincts, and there is an undeveloped parallel drawn with fears of infidelity, pregnancy, mating and marriage. The perfect date movie.

Black Sheep  
Another stab at horror-comedy-gore by New Zealand, this one involving killer sheep of all things. A young man with a fear of sheep (thanks to his twisted brother's idea of pranks), comes back to his farm-home in NZ to find his brother experimenting with sheep genetics. Some moronic environmental activists aren't taking kindly to it, and an accident starts an epidemic of were-sheep and killer sheep. There's silly fun to be had, but the splatter is mostly restricted to one scene of investor-massacre, and half of the comedy falls flat thanks to some silly writing, flat acting by the protagonists, and poor timing. Still, it's one of a kind and kinda fun if you're in a really silly and undemanding mood.

A spiraling binge movie with a possible vampiric angle. This movie is more of trippy horror experience than a proper horror movie with an interesting plot. An obnoxious but hot female painter is under pressure to finish her painting and pay her rent. Drugs lead to experimental drugs which lead to strange increasingly violent trips where she loses time and progresses with her painting... There are violent attacks that are very gory as well as trippy blood-fests, but the gore-level remains mostly borderline extreme. The drug-induced madness is somewhat trippy but not surreal. The music is a superb pounding mix of metal, sludge, doom, goth, dark electronica and punk. The dizzying and very dynamic camera-work seems to have taken its cue from Gaspar Noé. It all adds up to a pretty intense experience, as mentioned, but only as far as that.

Blood Diner (AKA Blood Feast 2)  
A tribute to H.G. Lewis's Blood Feast featuring more Egyptian madness and campy splatter. The nephews of a horny disembodied brain gather all the required slutty female body parts and incantations to bring life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. This they do under the guise of a vegetarian diner while wrestling with Jimmy Hitler, a local wrestling champion. The gore is over the top but not as gooey as the original, and the silly camp does bear a similarity to the charm of H.G. Lewis although it has a cheesy taste of its own. Dumb splatter fun wrapped in one of the happiest gore movies ever made.

Blood Drive  
See TV.

Blood Quantum  
Old-school zombie movie set amongst the Native Americans, with lots of practical splatter effects that go a bit beyond a Romero movie. The plot is nothing special, featuring the beginning of an outbreak and rising tension between a dozen colorful characters, and then it jumps to six months later to a survivor camp. The unique element, however, is that some people are immune to zombies, and there is a bit of social commentary on race issues making the zombie survival somewhat more complicated. Otherwise this features the usual creative tactics used to fight zombies (the fast and aggressive kind), some are smartly controlled fights, others feature gory mayhem or zombies overrunning humans tearing them apart. Unfortunately, while the first half is pretty good, the second half shoots itself in the foot with bizarre characterizations that have people turn into evil sadistic killers or suicidal idiots for no reason whatsoever. Starts good, ends very bad.

Bloody Chainsaw Girl  
It definitely says something about Japan when one can describe a movie as: "just another exploitation splatter movie about high-school girls in short skirts chopping up their mutated cyborg friends with chainsaws and vagina-guns". Yes, its another one of those, except this one didn't involve Nishimura or Iguchi. The local high-school is in chaos after a shunned girl with a skill for converting humans into cyborg-weapons decided to take revenge. Enter the chainsaw-girl, with a super-versatile chainsaw. Body parts fly while the cyborgs reload their vaginas. In between chopping each other into little pieces, ex-classmates and friends reminisce and fight over their past insecurities. So, in other words, this is a teenage-girl drama with chainsaws, mutated organs, up-skirt shots and splatter.

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell  
It turns out that Japanese ghosts aren't only there to frighten you to death, they want to possess you and eat your soul! Reviewers aren't kidding when they call this the 'Japanese Evil Dead', as this low-budget campy gore-fest wears its inspiration on its sleeve, has its wise-cracking ass-kicking hero say 'groovy', and reproduces many ideas and scenes from that movie. A man into working-out inherits a small haunted house. When his ghost-hunting girl-friend brings over a psychic, they unleash a ghost from hell. Even ripping them apart into little pieces doesn't seem to help. Although the start of the movie doesn't seem promising, it soon develops into a fun campy gore-fest that mostly reproduces the tone of Evil Dead 2. The ongoing fight scenes are entertaining and become more and outrageous and splattery, albeit the fun is not original and inspired obviously, and the really low-budget effects vary in quality, but it doesn't wear out its welcome.

25-minute splatter short from Switzerland of special note, because, for some reason, it caused a censorship controversy. The actual flick is just minimally entertaining amateurish splatterific violence between policemen and the various people that hate them. A TV reporter makes remarks on how some people are happy that 21 policemen got butchered beyond recognition. A cop duo run around beating up suspicious people and drug addicts to a bloody pulp, until they meet their match in a house full of drunk, violent, cannibalistic metalheads.

Bong of the Dead  
A hybrid of stoned slacker comedy and zombie splatter movie, making this... 'slackstick'? It starts out great with a meteor that turns an old man obsessed with badly painted garden gnomes, and his wife, into a Braindead-style zombie couple. Unfortunately it veers and gets lost for the majority of the movie in the Dumb and Dumber-esque antics of two stoned dudes who discover that zombie brains make for super fertilizer to create super-pot. They go on a road trip to the 'danger zone' to collect more zombies when they encounter a super-zombie trying to put together a zombie army, and bond with a tough chick who owns a cool bar and an unusual shower, and who knows her way around machines. These scenes bog down the movie with endless dialogue by dummies that think they are being funny and that watching them get stoned and drunk are as entertaining as it is to them. By the time the movie finally gets around to a grand splattery showdown with a zombie army and various propelled sharp blades, it's the end of the movie. Features very good special effects and cinematography considering the budget and the fact that it was mostly put together by one person - a potential Peter Jackson outing were it not for the bad script and witless humor. More splatstick, less pot please.

Book of Zombie, The  
Nifty little independent zombie flick that can serve as an example of how to do it right. This is mainly thanks to two things: The witty writing with snarky dialog, and the acting and chemistry. The zombie outbreak, this time, is amongst Mormons, leading to ongoing gags and barbs at such religions. But the snarky dialog between the survivors serves most of the comedy, while the zombie horror aspect is no slouch either, and it also uses practical old-school effects for its splatter. It's a small movie, but it has fun characters, goods chemistry, plenty of good splatter, and a funny twist ending.

Boy Eats Girl  
A cheesy Irish teenage zombie comedy with gore. Boy commits suicide, mother finds voodoo book, mother re-animates her son, son gets taste for human flesh, infection spreads, massacre ensues. The comedy is weak, the gore is pretty good, the movie is entertaining while it's on but forgettable soon after.

Brain Dead (2007)  
Well, this is the third film that uses this title, and the other two were great, so this one has a lot to live up to. The director who dared is Kevin Tenney, who helmed a few schlocky 80s horror flicks in his time, and this one proved to be a moderately entertaining switch-off-your-brain gore and nudity flick, as long as you aren't expecting much. Its biggest flaw is that it is a copy-and-paste job, but a fun one. A brain-eating slug from outer-space lands right in a man's head and multiplies from there, controlling its hosts and turning them into a kind of zombie. Several groups in the forest have to survive including a violent convict and his wise-cracking unwilling partner, a reverend and his guilty-lust-object Amy, and some girls, one of which is a man-hating lesbian. There's sparse but over-the-top entertaining splatter mostly involving a variety of gruesome things that can be done to people's heads, and the wise-cracking dude makes the slower parts a bit more fun. Definitely good for a one-time popcorn watch, but it's never anything more than a fun b-movie.

Bread and Circus
See Extreme Movies.

Bubba's Chili Parlor  
Low-budget hillbilly zombie movie that almost turns its gritty cheapness into an asset by making it look like a 70s grindhouse movie complete with cheesy commercials. Bubba runs a 'world famous' chili eatery in the middle of nowhere, and when he gets some cheap meat from a government enhanced experiment, he can't resist using it in his chili, turning the locals into bloodthirsty zombies. A couple of local rednecks pull out their Texas arsenal and start a shooting spree. The gore is borderline, barely reaching Romero levels but it has fun with some splatstick in the first half of the movie only. The laid-back hillbilly atmosphere and music is the best thing going for this badly acted movie, and it features a few unique touches: a little girl with brains that turns into a smart zombie, a horny slut zombie, and a zombie with a permanent erection.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever  
Sequel in name only features the disease spreading a lot faster amongst high-schoolers, with a climax at prom night, and there's no cabin or fever in sight since everyone pretty much breaks out in gross-out symptoms right away this time. And that's what this movie is all about: campy gross-out splatter and gore, like a sequel to Class of Nuke em High. Nasty explosions of blood and pus are not enough for this movie, it also adds horny men having sex with an obviously infected stripper, an exploding body hit by a bus, sex with a melting very fat girl in the pool, graphic penis-pus, over-the-top buzz-saw and blowtorch gore, and more. Like the Wrong Turn sequels, this sequel simply exploits the movie name and changes direction into campy gore, which explains the mass of disappointments.

Call Girl of Cthulhu  
Fun low-budget Cthulhusploitation, with a winning combination of horror, camp, comedy, sexploitation, low-budget practical gore, and fun characters. It's somewhere in between a Yuzna and Troma flick. There's a virgin artist, a call girl with a hellish destiny, some nasty people and creatures with an evil book, and a plan to end the world. Whores... excuse me.... call girls, may find a calling beyond sex: The evil Cthulhu minion wants to find the perfect call girl bride to spawn a tentacle monster, and the virgin has sweeter goals in mind, as long as he doesn't die a virgin, that is. Who will win? Features fun rubbery creatures, splattery mutations and exploding heads, and many sex fetishes find a gruesome end.

Cannon Fodder  
Yes, even Israel hopped on the zombie-film bandwagon, and produced this student-film with a relatively large budget and ambitious production for what it is. Israeli soldiers are sent on a mission to Lebanon to investigate a new biological weapon and find a lot more then expected. It's a mix of action, soldiering and zombie-apocalypse with intelligence conspiracies and double-crosses. The gore is somewhat plentiful but is a mixture of practical effects and too-cheap CGI effects. Similarly everything else is somewhere between not-bad-for-its-budget and held-back-by-its-budget, with acceptable acting. The main reason to see it is the alternate culture, typical Israeli characters that represent different aspects of Israeli society and the tensions and camaraderie between them, the location, setting and mentality which is unusual for a zombie film. Also the actors are real soldiers, but this is not difficult to find in Israel. Nothing great, but not bad either.

A slightly more enjoyable outing by Milligan, mostly because of the colorful characters and dialogue and a strong beginning. It's a haunted house flick, with a young couple and a new home, and some older occupants. There are hundreds of moving objects, most of the movie consisting of confusion from the characters as things keep going wrong or disappearing, and one would think after so many accidents and deaths, they would get a clue. As usual with Milligan, even his gorier flicks are merely borderline excessive and nothing to write home about. There's an evisceration that looks like spaghetti in an empty shirt, but it's a very extended scene with very gory spaghetti, there's a bloodless decapitation, and suddenly fountains of blood from other slicing, flying objects.

Carnival of Blood  
Early, schlocky, somewhat gory, slasher horror made by a porn producer and inspired by Hershell Gordon Lewis and Andy Milligan. There's a killer stalking the carnival, brutally killing young women, and the film throws the audience a few red herrings. Why does Tom keep wanting to take his girlfriend to the carnival? What does the fortune-teller know? The three kill scenes revel in brief but splattery gore as ladies are decapitated, disemboweled or get their eyes and tongue pulled out, but, don't worry, they had it coming. The ladies are so over-the-top obnoxious they're funny, one drunken sailor acts more like a drunken clown, the acting is weak and and the production values are low, but it has charm if you like your movies schlocky and with character.

Possibly the goofiest slasher you're ever likely to see, with the most unlikely of killers: A carousel hors.. I mean unicorn. The young fodder-characters line up, except this time they are funny in really silly ways instead of annoying over-sexed pseudo-teenagers. One girl can't even get the pizza-dude to boink her. But the carousel horse has had enough and leaves no survivors. Features a wide variety of practical, very splattery and silly kills, ninja-stars, lasers, and bestiality, kind-of. Expect a silly thing and you'll have fun.

Cat Sick Blues
See Extreme Movies.

Cemetery Gates  
Old-school campy creature horror movie that takes you back to the 80s with its sense of over-the-top gory fun, non-CGI gore and creature effects, campy characters, and a dumb plot. This is refreshing after all the recent pointlessly sadistic horror that takes itself seriously. A scientist grows a mutated Tasmanian Devil which is released by some idiotic animal rights activists. Joggers, local hillbillies, cemetery workers and petty crooks, and even a group of teenage zombie-film-makers serve as fodder for sharp and efficient teeth and claws, resulting in buckets of blood and gore, albeit nothing too creative or extreme.

Underground fun horror with the participation of Michael Todd Schneider. A hit-man and a re-animating zombie agent... what can go wrong? Evidently, a lot more than you can imagine. The first half is fairly competent and fun low-budget horror as you as you don't expect too much. The second half is where the movie feels like it ran out of story and just went nuts adding more and more plot elements. It is also where most of the gore is displayed, though this is nothing close to Schneider's usual projects. There's a pervert clown, zombies, a serial killer, zombie-whores, gratuitous abuse of KKK members, some gory torture, and a whole lot of hit-man banter.

City of Rott  
Crude, Flash-like animation of a zombie movie featuring an entertaining old man and his walker in a city full of thousands of zombies. Driven by his need for new slippers while having conversations with his walker and shoes, he becomes the most energetic and indestructible old man ever, tearing apart, smashing and decapitating scores of zombies with various weapons. Like a video game with constant old-man rants, lots of ads for a Zombifate drug and hundreds of squirmy worms which seem to have caused the plague, and over-the-top but repetitive gore. Entertaining at times, silly at others.

This movie takes the middle-ground between an extremely gross Troma movie and [Rec] by way of Street Trash if you can imagine such a thing. It's a gross-out gory horror movie that is not quite as silly as a Troma movie but it doesn't take itself too seriously either. It starts in a filthy condemned building that you wouldn't want to visit in a hazmat suit, and gets much much worse from there, setting up the illegal residents of this building, one more desperate and messed-up than the next. From the beefed-up gay couple into extreme S&M, a violent Hasidic pimp and his transsexual whore, a maker of extreme designer-drugs by way of some scary chemicals, junkies, various insane people, and a few youngsters without money. When the filth, chemicals, pills and slime accumulate to critical mass, an outbreak makes them all turn into insane mutating killers that can't feel anything that happens to them. Cue the pus, slime, bubbling gore, vomit, black and green goo, violent ripping of human bodies, etc. The realism is non-existent, but the characters are definitely colorful and entertaining.

Low-budget black comedy with a healthy dose of twistedness. A lonely man finds the perfect girl online, only she isn't exactly alone... The company she keeps is a big problem, but the fact that her sister is a psychopath is intolerable. What is a lonely man to do when double-dating is all he can look forward to, especially when the dates turn out to be this catastrophic This film exploits its subject matter to a great extent and delivers on its dark humor pretty nicely. Although there are bucket-loads of blood splatter and bags of body parts, technically this is not really a gore movie as the camera completely turns away from the actual splattery damage. But it will still feel gory. For fans of disturbed black humor.

Convent, The  
Silly splatter comedy about a convent inhabited by demons. Teenagers visit the deserted place where a massacre had taken place decades before and the heads start rolling. The characters are hit and miss (the best one, a goth girl, gets killed too fast), the gore is plentiful but somewhat unimaginative, the comedy varies from silly to amusing, the direction and music however tries too hard to be hip. A party gore movie that takes after Night of the Demons.

A vampire gore movie made by teenagers with no budget. A teenager witnesses a massacre by vampires and becomes a vampire killer with friends. The rest of the movie involves lots of chasing, screaming, fighting and gore. The good is that the over-the-top gore effects are moderately entertaining and some scenes are effective, the bad is that they are all teenagers that take themselves too seriously, the lighting has severe technical difficulties, and the plot and characters are non-existent. Barely of interest.

Day of Violence, A  
Darren Ward's followup to Sudden Fury ten years later is another gritty, low-budget but energetic crime movie with smatterings of surprising gore and nastiness. Unfortunately, it's just about a bunch of nasty people being nasty to each other, with an emphasis on animalistic bloody violence, and no humanity, style, or honor in sight. The protagonist is a debt collector for sadistic mob bosses, and his motives for stealing a bunch of money slowly unfold over the course of the movie, but, in the meantime, he doesn't display much more honor than his co-workers, sadistically torturing and killing people in his way. A scene of very graphic castration and endless, realistic but extreme bloody violence help make this a borderline gorehound's movie, and it's pretty well done for its low-budget, but it's a very empty and unsatisfying movie.

Deadly Dares: Truth or Dare Part IV  
The fourth entry in an ongoing series of movies by Tim Ritter, a name in the underground 80s low-budget, indie-film world. The theme in this series has been infidelity leading to violent reactions and madness, as well as games of truth or dare taken way, way too far, leading to mad and violent consequences. The acting and stories are actually not bad, especially considering the budget, but the nonsensical plot twists usually detract. This movie is no different, albeit his directing skills have improved. It's about another man that snaps when his girlfriend dumps him, and goes on a psychological bender when he discovers the strange freeing effect of performing dares that gradually become more and more insane. The gore has always been on an average medium-to-light level with these movies, until this entry, that is. Here Ritter pulls out the stops for a splattery, ultra-violent sequence where the dares explode in a rampage of insane brutal violence, both to self and to others. Mildly entertaining, with more nonsensical plot twists.

Deadly Spawn, The  
A great, gory, low-budget b-movie. A meteor lands on earth, releasing a spawn of rapidly growing monsters with lots of teeth. As more and more people get chomped, a group of teenagers and one resourceful kid who watched too many horror movies, battle it out with the multiplying creatures. Can the kid get control of the situation before his friends heads and limbs are bitten off, and more of his family's faces are chewed off? Campy bloody fun and blessedly free of annoying cliches, the only fatal flaw being the mostly dull characters.

Dead Meat  
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie in an Irish landscape with a dose of Peter Jackson. A woman and her boyfriend get caught in the country where a mad cow disease has taken a zombifying turn. She encounters a couple of local characters who join her for an hour of running, fighting and lots of decapitations. A shovel gets several good splatter workouts and the country setting is nice, but this one is too unrealistically gory to be taken seriously, not funny enough to be splatstick, and the main characters are dull.

Dead Men Walking  
Yet another modern zombie movie with infected, raging, fast-moving zombies, this time set in a maximum security prison. This would have been a good idea for an action-packed brutal gore-fest if not for the bad writing and acting. Even the gore, although prevalent, is not creative and sticks to lots of splattered brains and faces, and some gut-munching. The development of events is nothing short of idiotic (an infected man is jailed in prison fast and allowed to mingle), and all the actors are unsympathetic at best, or terrible at worst. The constant action and energy keeps you watching but it still feels like a waste of time.

Dead Snow  
Norwegian homage to zombie movies like Braindead and Evil Dead but it doesn't quite get the balance right. A group of students hike to a lonely mountain cabin in the snow for a vacation and encounter Nazi zombies. Red splatter on white snow involving Nazi zombies is the gimmick of this movie, but that's as far as the inspiration went. The plentiful gore includes a wide variety of slashings, dismemberments, bodies torn apart, splattery bites, etc. with some stand-out scenes including the use of intestines to hang over a cliff, and intestine-eating from the point of view of the victim. The movie is beautifully filmed and looks like it should be gory fun but it is mediocre entertainment instead. The reasons, I believe, are due to the lack of character and the imbalance in tone: All of the actors are instantly forgettable, and the movie can't decide whether it is a splatstick movie or a horror movie, with neither managing to get off the ground and both interfering with each other.

Dead Snow 2: Red Vs. Dead  
Actually a sequel that is better than the original in some ways, but it's not without its flaws. This picks up right where the first one left off, with Nazi Zombies coming after the survivor, except this time, they leave behind the snow (despite the title) and follow him inland in order to complete a mission. Once again, the Nazi horde of undead leave a bloodbath in their wake, finding half a dozen new inventive uses for a person's intestines, and they are not above using tanks against babies (no, it's a comedy, really!), while the local small-town police find themselves in way over their heads. Except this time, the Zombie Squad from America is here to save the day, along with the help of a cross-dressing WWII museum clerk, and some newfound zombie-arm super-powers, leading to a zombie war. The Zombie Squad is a hoot, except the writers wrongly decide to make them super-fighters for the climax, thus losing their comedy appeal, the police-man only has painfully dumb lines as if different writers wrote different parts of the movie, several of the actors are quite weak and unnatural, and it doesn't help that this time they were forced to speak English. The splatstick is fun, but the amount of random fantasy zombie super-powers and the action-oriented climax are misguided. In short, its entertaining comedy-splatter-horror, but this is a director that is only firing on some cylinders.

Deathmaster - The Bloody Shadow  
Definitely not your average underground home-made German horror movie. This is actually primarily an action-comedy with many stunts and martial arts from a group of young people with no budget and a can-do energetic attitude reminiscent of Peter Jackson's early films. It has ubiquitous blood splatter from the many violent fights and a couple of gore effects from decapitations and similar violent deaths, but it barely qualifies as a 'gore-movie'. What it is, is a highly entertaining film with a winning hard-working attitude that overcomes its amateur acting and budget with pure fun. It's about a seemingly supernatural and unkillable killer literally fished out of the water that causes havoc with a young man's love life and his amusing attempts at winning a girl's heart. Not to mention that the killer is brutally slaughtering all of his friends. The stunts are impressive, the fights are unrealistic but fun, some of them seem partially trained fighters, and a visit at an accident-prone insane arms-dealer is a funny highlight.

Death Metal  
Ah yes, the ol' ultimately-evil-composition-causing-carnage trope. On the one hand it's good that there are enough metal-themed horror movies by now to recognize a repeated trope. On the other hand, this film just plays it for straight horror without much story or originality. A death-metal band is at the lowest rung of failure and recognition, about to break up, when one member discovers an old piece of devil music (more like dark ambient sounds). They proceed to a strange studio run by an eccentric sound engineer, but the new music has immediate evil effects of demonic possession, gruesome mutations and deaths, which occupy the bulk of the movie in increasingly atmospheric horror. It's all very random, however. The gore is borderline, with a couple of centerpieces, one involving a borrowed flying head-and-spine from Asian horror and a gory hanging, and a gruesome eye-gouging scene taking its cue from Fulci. There's also some bizarre body mutations that made me think of Cronenberg's Rabid. Middling, but at least it has Incantation playing live.

Death Metal Zombies  
Released at the peak of the underground death metal genre in 1995 with a massive soundtrack collection of music from the Relapse label roster. This is a bad but fun zombie movie from death metal fans for old-school death metal fans that don't take themselves seriously, and it takes me back to that time when fans were energetic, nerdy, underground, rough and fun, and the music was brutal, and was on tape, CD and newly on mp3. The movie itself is a very simple zombie movie with some Romero-esque splatter-gore, and a standard plot for metal where an infamous metal band releases a special supernatural death-metal track on tape that has an evil, world-dominating zombifying effect. The acting and production is bad, but fun, as long as you aren't expecting much and are into the scene. In between gory zombie battles, the fans rumble with each other, and there is a strange Nixon-mask-wearing slasher-killer adding to the chaos.

Think Bad Taste only without the talent or the over-the-top creative splatter. The attitude is right though, and there may be some enjoyment to be had here as long as your expectations are extremely low. On the behest of an old, batty couple, a DJ-detective infiltrates a cult obsessed with DNA experiments in order to create a human that can communicate with aliens. The leader is a woman who enjoys sexually harassing young men, her right-hand man is a psychotic park ranger who can hardly control his urges to kill park intruders in gory ways, mobsters suddenly make a strange appearance for a shootout, and the DNA experiments produce a deformed genius baby in a rubber mask that adds to the killing chaos. Heads are crushed, drilled into with a rocket, or sliced with a shovel, butcher knives make messy births, tongues are yanked out, and there are messy shootouts involving rockets and garden equipment, but it's not insanely inspired as with Peter Jackson and it's lacking a certain something that makes these kinds of low-budget madcap gore movies fun.

A classic Italian horror movie. Several people are invited into a mysterious cinema by mysterious people where some are turned into zombie-like demons who in turn attack the rest of the crowd. Mayhem creeps in when they find out they are blockaded in the cinema and lots of gore ensues. Bad acting is the fatal flaw, but it makes for a moderately entertaining popcorn gore movie.

Demon Resurrection  
Low-budget homage to movies like Burial Ground, Blind Dead and Fulci. It is done from a respectful fan's point of view and one can see the effort by everyone involved. So, on the one hand, it is limited by its small budget, on the other hand, they do a good job with what they have. The story involves a cult of dark magic, a young man who becomes swept up with the occult, and his friends that get pulled into his dangerous world from hell. Which means demonic impregnation, evil spells and hordes of undead. The acting ranges from adequate to not bad. Most of the gore is in the last third of the movie with guts, birthings and nasty flesh-ripping by glass. The gore is at the level of Romero or Burial Ground though, not Fulci. A not-bad way to pass the time for old-school horror fans as long as expectations are appropriate.

Demon Spies  
From the writer of Hanzo, Crying Freeman, Lone Wolf, and Lady Snowblood series, comes this lesser known over-the-top action Chambara. The plot (which was later copied in Azumi) is about a group of children trained as 'demons', mysterious super-assassins who keep the peace by wiping out conspiracies and corrupt powerful people. Their training is hell, most of them not surviving the tests which include espionage, autopsies and detached sex. The rest of the movie involves a dangerous mission to find a secret horde of weapons and traitors, led by a cunning man who plays an intense battle of wits with the demons. This is all very entertaining and would be extremely good if not for the over-the-top cartoonish and exploitative treatment, taking the popular geysers of blood and chopped limbs of the time to new heights.

Destroy All Neighbors  
Moderately amusing but flawed horror-comedy that should have been a lot less juvenile and simple considering its theme is prog-rock. An aspiring prog-musician just can't get his record made, when a neighbor from hell moves in next door. An accident sends him on a spiral of violent madness, as the bodies keep piling up inadvertently and he is haunted by dead people, or rather, by body parts of dead people. There is a bit of Henenlotter here in the sense of a young man living with grotesque friends, but the silly tone is not the same at all. There is a splattery dismemberment scene, but it's mostly about body parts, including rubbery intestines that play the drums. Somewhat fun, and some scenes are funnier than others, but some characters are too cartoonish and the last part is silly.

Die You Zombie Bastards!
See Extreme Movies.

Disco Exorcist, The  
Another retro-grindhouse homage, this one embracing the awful disco period with garish colorful silk clothes, free love, porn, disco balls and whatnot. It tells the tale of a smooth disco dancer who is popular with the ladies, until he hooks up with the wrong woman who happens to be a vengeful witch. There are orgies, brutal voodoo curses, cheesy disco dances, groovy pornography studios, and priests that aren't what they seem. There are a couple of splattery gore scenes involving intestines, a brutalized penis and a spine ripped out, all in the vein of early H.G. Lewis, but don't expect much, as they are brief. Most of the movie is about the disco and the seedy exploitation, like something out of a Something Weird video. Although they went all-out with costumes and wigs, the people, looks, attitudes, speech and even politically-correct attitudes are all modern so this doesn't exactly take you back, and it reeks of the 2000s in every pore. There is still some grind-house fun to be had though and the horror is retro-cheesy in a good way.

Don't Kill It  
Campy b-horror with Dolph Lundgren who seems to be still churning out these average action movies. It feels like just another episode in the Supernatural TV series. That it to say, it's fun, but distinctly average. Dolph is a demon hunter who encounters a particularly nasty demon in a small town. This demon works by killing people at random and passing on to the person that kills it. Of course, the locals have a tough time believing Dolph or collecting enough wits to handle the bloody chaos, and it's up to Dolph to wise-crack and hunt. Unusually for this sort of b-movie, the gore is relatively over-the-top, what with many exploding heads, axe and chainsaw chaos.

Doom Asylum  
This 80s comedy-slasher is really scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of its completely uninspired slasher plot and lame campy comedy. But in its uncut version it has a little more over-the-top gore than the average 80s slasher, the camp comedy provides a stupid way to burn some time, and the girls all run around most of the movie in skimpy outfits and bikinis. A lawyer disfigured by a wrongful-autopsy provides the psycho killer, and a group of teenagers and angry members of a punk-girl-band provide the fodder. Footage from old B&W horror movies with Tod Slaughter is spliced into the film just to add to the camp. The gore is hit & miss, including a nasty and impressive drill-to-the-head, fake-looking but torturous toe-cutting, a buzz-saw to the face, and a bit of gory face-autopsy (no, the movie isn't big on realism). Troma-level campy trash.

Dude Bro Party Massacre III  
A surprisingly entertaining retro-slasher silly comedy and spoof. This internet-funded movie spoofs both 80s slashers and college fraternity comedies and combines this with Troma-style silliness, old-school gore splatstick, and anything-goes comical gags. And just to make sure you get it, it throws in Ronald Reagan and snippets of VHS home-recordings during the commercial breaks. The plot is a walking cliche taken over-the-top: A dead guy's twin brother pledges a frat only to find out who killed his brother and get revenge. The dudes are obnoxiously idiotic, horny, macho and always up for dumb fun, except the fun and bro-support starts wearing him down threatening to make him one of them. In the meantime, someone is killing everyone in the most outrageously grisly and gory ways, for the third time. There are also robots, pranks that turn into catastrophes, beer crises, virgin sacrifices, a gung-ho police-man that wants to 'bang kids', more tearing off of shirts than in a gay porno, and a bag of oranges. The humor ranges from too idiotic and silly, to rapid-paced entertaining fun, and overall it's a moderately fun way to pass the time.

The first half promises a deeply disturbing very gory self-mutilation movie in the vein of In My Skin, the second half wants so desperately to be extreme and edgy that it eats itself into complete ridiculousness. A struggling actress is at the end of her rope, she can't get a job, she's very broke, and her life is just a series of men trying to use her. And she is very hungry. She turns to a very nasty and stomach-churningly graphic self-destructive solution. As mentioned, this first part is well acted which makes it all the more disturbing. But then everyone's behavior becomes increasingly unrealistic and over-the-top until it becomes a parody of itself. From intense to silly in 80 minutes.

Eat Your Heart Out (AKA Skinned Alive)  
So there's this terribly lonely young romantic guy who is pathetically desperate for a girl, making a fool of himself regularly. He meets a cannibal hooker, and the sparks fly. Talk about a harsh dating scene... See, if this were filmed and billed as a comedy, it would have worked so much better. And its best scenes are the ones with some black humor, like when he finds out what she is... their dialogue and interaction are hilarious. The ironic ending is good as well. It's the stuff in between that gets tiresome. She regularly eats her customers, except they never even fight back as she bites gory chunks of flesh out of them. There's also a violent man out for revenge that is tracking her down in a bland sub-plot. A poor movie with some good chunks in it.

Editor, The  
Dense giallo spoof from film-makers that have obviously watched and studied many giallos. Every scene here will remind you of a giallo or Italian horror movie (or even Videodrome), some with Naked-Gun-esque silly twists, others just playing homages by going over-the-top, most of them just bewildering and chaotic. Overall, it really is just a collection of scenes, and the plot, except for the concept of an unknown killer, gets thrown out of the window quite early. There is bright color, bad dubbing and accents, sudden gore, a couple of very over-the-top splatter scenes with chainsaws and fingers or limb-chopping, as well as a gory face-ripping scene played only for laughs. There are Fulci spiders, surreal nightmare scenes, eyeball threats, secret passageways, several left-field twist endings, anyone and everyone is a potential killer even if they are doing it while unconscious, every single girl poses sexily or takes off her clothes for no reason in almost every scene, and all women need to be slapped regularly otherwise they demand a real man to do it for them. In short, chaotic and silly with no cohesive plot, but with a few entertaining and amusing scattered scenes, and giallo fans should have a ball.

Evil (AKA To Kako)  
Entertaining Greek zombie splatter movie with modern fast-moving zombies. The story is a simple, uninspired zombie apocalypse survival plot, with a clashing mix of more realistic survival action-drama, and over-the-top, silly Dusk 'til Dawn splatstick complete with kung-fu chicks and fists through the chest. These approaches undermine each other, the music is annoying techno, but the wild, varied gore effects are quite good. A minimally entertaining zombie-gore movie.

Evil Dead Rise  
Definitely better than the terrible 2013 remake, if only because it tries to do something different rather than rehash the same material. This is a stand-alone movie featuring the same Book of the Dead and the chaotic and gleefully ultra-violent, gory, possessed Deadites, but with a different setting and characters. Don't expect much of the black humor and wisecracks from the second movie onwards however, nor much of the mad cinematography; This is a slick modern horror movie that plays it straight, albeit Raimi and Campbell in the producer chairs seem to have kept the director from straying too far from the formula. This time it's a family isolated in a condemned urban building, and even the young kids are targets for gore-drenching brutality this time, as family members become possessed one by one. The Deadites also get to be cruel as they use family-member bodies to not only tear apart bodies, but also feelings. This is a brave choice to stray from the cabin-in-the-woods base that these movies have made famous, but it doesn't do much with it. It works pretty well, holding back on the gore at first, but ratcheting up the horror and violence for an ultra-splattery finale with gallons of red stuff. Not a great and very memorable movie, but definitely a watchable entry in the series.

Evil Dead Trap  
Heavily influenced by Argento and using cinematic homages (or rip-offs) to Fulci and Raimi, this Japanese horror movie starts as a brutal and gory slasher and ends as a bizarre and nonsensical supernatural gore flick. A female TV crew is sent a tape of a brutal killing with directions on how to get to an abandoned building ...and curiosity killed the cat. Features skewering, eye-gouging, slashing, death traps, etc.

Evil Ed  
Swedish parody on the splatter and horror genres, which, in one sense, means it's a spoof on a spoof. Ed is a sensitive and moral editor who is transferred to the 'gore and splatter' division where the multi-million dollar franchise 'Loose Limbs' needs editing to keep the European censors happy. After some late night repetitive cutting, Ed loses it and starts hallucinating then goes psychotic. Features scores of little homages to horror movies. Somewhat entertaining, but there are two flaws: Even in its unrated edition, the splatter is rare and sporadic and feels like some gore was cut, and the comedy tends to get too crudely obvious. Ironically, this movie was also released in a censored version.

Faim De Mort  
A unique surreal trilogy of extreme-gore, nearly-dialogue-free shorts by Francios Yagopian totalling 35 minutes. The approach is as if a guy with an extremely warped and grotesque imagination goes on a bender and has a bad trip while making his way to the kitchen for some food. Nightmares within nightmares combine on several levels, and not only does reality get left behind, but he keeps waking up inside another nightmare, only it includes elements from his last trip that rapidly turn even more grotesque than the last one. It is not without a pitch-black and warped sense of humor though. If Svankmajer were to mate with a German splatter director, this may be the result. Attempts at making food become a cannibalistic splatter-fest but which is the reality? Zombies or penis monsters appear and disappear and he finds himself having to carve them up in increasingly grotesque ways, then tries to eat again. There are jumbled fading memories of some kind of murder that may be part of his paranoia, he harms himself in increasingly gory ways due to ridiculous accidents or hallucinations, and the chaotic violence often involves revolting body fluids and splattery sexual acts, like a man that can't control his horny thoughts while experiencing a nightmare. Every minute sees another surreal or grotesque twist of splattery mayhem and confusion, and the third just dives into demonic mutation-hell itself.

Over-hyped horror movie that came out of the Greenlight reality-TV project. Think unexplained monsters that attack a group of locals a la Tremors, and a night-long barricade in a bar ravaged by monsters a la Dusk til Dawn, only without the wit, writing skills and fun of either of them. The monsters make no sense at all: One second they zip by at the speed of light, then move in slow shambles, they have razor sharp claws but only use them when the script calls for it, a baby can slam through metal but adults can't break through poorly nailed wood, and they randomly do things only once like spew buckets of green slime, infect humans with maggots, or wear a costume (?!). The gore is well made but it only just barely passes the border of mainstream gore to gorefest, the highlights being a tug-of-war with an eyeball and a splatterific head crushing. In short: A very bad script, no story, confusing directing, campy horror that isn't as hip as it thinks it is, but good energy, gore and the ability to kill off the cast in surprising ways makes it somewhat watchable.

First Person Shooter  
Well, Necrostorm did this kind of thing beforehand, but this movie offers nostalgic fun for early FPS gamers and much less extreme gore than Necrostorm. This movie is basically a live-action variation of Doom with a wisecracking Duke Nukem character, with the protagonist running around a hospital, and in very cool catacombs location shooting, killing zombies, collecting weapons, clues, notes and keys. The 'plot' is game-logic, with clues and weapons always placed strategically in order to complete a level. There is even a saved game restore. The old 90s graphics mixed with live-action is funny, and some scenes even go back to Wolfenstein 3D or earlier King's Quest style graphics just for the fun of it. The gore is at the level of Doom, only live-action. I feel they made a mistake, though, by using different camera angles sometimes, as it breaks the FPS effect. There isn't anything more to offer here, but I enjoyed the nostalgia and the live-action.

Flesh-Eating Mothers  
This 80s movie has the campy low-budget charm of a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie. The title is literal, with regular housewives suddenly becoming flesh-eaters strong monsters due to unfaithful husbands. And thus begins a black-humor low-budget satire, as the mothers go after their kids, babies and husbands while still acting like housewives, while throwing out a moral lesson about infidelity by way of splatter. There's quite enough cheesy flesh-eating and body-part gore but not too much, the tone is comical-horror, and the characters are fun.

Frankenstein Created Bikers  
This sequel to the awful retro-grindhouse mess "Dear God No!" drops the tired faux-grindhouse visual style and upgrades the production values, but it not only keeps the mess, it revels in it. For the makers of this movie, exploitation grindhouse is about any and all nonsensical and crazy plot elements as long as they serve to bring on more extreme scenes of gore and nastiness, campy over-the-top characters, and plenty of gratuitous nudity. If you agree with this summary, then this movie is for you. If you're a real grindhouse fan however, the lack of an actual plot and real character will get in the way. Nastiness only packs a punch when it's attached to a regular plot and a plausible world, not when it happens five times a minute for 120 minutes against some nonsensical random plot elements. Also, there's a difference between poor actors pretending to be over-the-top characters, and cult actors that bring character to their nasty roles. That said, if you want a movie that combines vicious undead bikers, two insanely sadistic mad scientists, constant 100% gratuitous boobs, a captured Sasquatch monster, cops getting blown up by a one-eyed mad chick in black, lots of extreme splatter involving, amongst many other things, a chainsaw to the head, not one but two sex scenes that give a new nasty meaning to 'giving head', killer reverends and transsexuals, random fetus and thumbtack torture, and lots more, then this definitely delivers.

God of Vampires  
Like Bad Taste, this home-made movie is a labor of love, made over several years during weekends and spare time with personal financing. But it's a different kind of movie: Part camp, part HK action flick, part vampire horror, this movie tells the tale of a very competent Chinese assassin who is sent to kill a Master Vampire and finds himself in over his head. The vampire sees the fearless killer in him and decides to play a game with him, killing everyone he meets. He finds himself teaming up with some Chinese bar employees and guests to wage war against the vampires. The results are a mixed bag: I liked the way it stuck to the Chinese hopping-vampire mythos only made them scarier, and I really liked the inventive comedy to do with the 'Chinese death certificate' that freezes a vampire when stuck to its forehead. The acting is the weakest aspect but is passable, ranging from mediocre to weak. The action scenes are b-movie level but entertaining and they get better as the movie progresses. The gore is just this side of over-the-top splatter with a wide variety of damage done by a wide variety of sharp weapons. The lighting doesn't always allow us to see what is going on, and the sound is terrible, with the music completely drowning out dialogue in many scenes. An entertaining watch-once flick as long as you adjust your expectations.

God's Left Hand, Devil's Right Hand  
Many of Kazuo Umezu's comics and writings have been turned into odd little horror movies, many of them feeling like horror movies for kids, but this one involves both kids and sadistic gore, and more young teenagers or children in bloody peril than many would feel comfortable with. It still retains that creative Umezu imagination that manages to be both chilling and goofy at the same time. A young psychic boy has the ability to dream about a serial killer, except the dream literally bleeds into his own reality like something from Elm Street. His teenage sister tries to protect him and hunts down the serial killer of his dreams. In the meantime, the killer's activities increase, luring young kids with things like dolls and cakes, only to kill them in sadistic and brutal ways, and then drawing his escapades into a comic book to entertain his disabled seven year old daughter!! The splatter is mostly limited to the beginning and end of the films, but the kids make it harsher. The film isn't ever believable, and the tone is jarring, but it definitely has unique points of interest.

Gorex: The Zombi Horror Picture Show  
Home-made Spanish gore-porn. A very silly mad doctor kidnaps a man and tries out his nerve-numbing concoction on him, proving its effectiveness by cutting off several random limbs, cutting into his intestines and shooting him until he finally dies without feeling a thing. A side-effect of extreme lust inspires the doctor to try different experiments involving sex with 3 females. This new experiment chaotically mixes x-rated sex, c-grade gore and lowest level camp.

Grave Robbers  
Slightly above average cheesy satanic-zombie-slasher from Mexico with just enough extra gore and energy above your average gory slasher. Teenage grave robbers find a tomb with a powerful Satanist. When they remove the axe in his chest, they unleash an undead, near-immortal fury as he seeks a virgin to mate with. Plenty of bloody axe killings ensue with pretty good effects, and there's the gory centerpieces of a hand through a man's stomach and a head mashed through a fence.

Green Inferno, The  
Eli Roth's homage to that most extreme, notorious and short-lived of the horror sub-genres of the 70s: The Cannibal movie. A professed fan of the genre, and it shows, as Roth managed to reproduce every element faithfully, except for the animal cruelty and killings (for obvious reasons). This includes the hapless group of misguided white people (in this case, activists), that find themselves in a jungle with primitives, cannibalism often not being one of their worst practices. There are clitoridectomies, ant-tortures, graphic dismemberment and eye-gouging rituals, and so on. It also deals with the even worse behaviour and cruelty of the misguided and idealistic white man, in this case, an activist who has his priorities very messed up indeed. In the originals however, the cannibals weren't as gleefully sadistic unless provoked, and here Roth has them go all out right from the start. But that is a minor issue and it's explained away with an assumption that they were the enemy. Roth's real problem here is that he didn't play the horror straight, and peppers it with juvenile masturbation, weed, diarrhea and penis humor. It's still an effective and above-average entry in the extreme Cannibal genre however, 40 years later.

Grindhouse Massacre  
Well, it pretty much lives up to its title. There's a series of brutal, nasty killings, they take place within the grindhouse movie-making circuits, and the movie is filmed in the faux-retro style that is so popular nowadays. An ex-scream-queen and midnight-movie host is down in the dumps and no one wants anything to do with her since she refuses to cater to demands of nudity. More and more frequently, she watches as her favorite movie horror genre turns into a platform for porno and horny exploitative bullies. Until one day, her stoned insane friends suggest she resurrect her career with killings (which serve a double purpose). The movie is rough around the edges, wandering frequently from silly to nasty, but mostly it's a gore-comedy whose tone is somewhere between H.G. Lewis and Chris Seaver with a little more sadism than either. The kills are gleefully nasty in an H.G. Lewis way, including very messy face ripping and melting, some limb sawing, as well as some extreme use of acid on certain body parts. It wears out its welcome soon enough, and it's not going to get on favorite lists, but it has some entertainment value. Bill Zebub was here first though, with Kill the Scream Queen.

Grindhouse: Planet Terror  
The centerpiece, gore-trash-schlock half of the double-feature Grindhouse nostalgic experience by Tarantino-Rodriguez. This one goes for everything and the kitchen sink: Cheesy violent action and action-heroes, trashy exploitation, splatter-gore with what looks like a full bucket of grue being flung for every bullet, nasty gore effects of pus, abscesses and infections, zombies, mutations, evil soldiers, mad bio-scientists, nonsensical writing and sub-plots, etc. There's a biological virus turning people into zombies with mutating soldiers hot on its tail, a scientist who likes collecting people's balls, a stripper who loses a leg and gets a machine gun as a replacement, a lesbian nurse with a jealous, psychotic husband and colorful syringes, and more. The overall effect of this one is fun and entertaining but brainless and schizophrenic: The grainy, scratchy, jumpy film stock effects are pretty good at reproducing a grindhouse era film look, but they are overdone, and the quality audio, cellphones, and special-effects clash with this experience, as well as the a-grade actors winking at us. The tone veers often from trash homage to silly spoof, the various scenes and characters feel like they are ripped off from very different movies, and the entertainment changes from splatter horror, to cheesy b-movie exploitative action, to grindhouse trash, all usually separate genres. Somewhat fun, but dumb, and even Dusk til Dawn felt more consistent.

Danish, home-made, very low-budget alien splatter movie. The plot and the rough low-budget makes it sound like its going for 'Bad Taste', but the actual feel of the movie most of the time, unfortunately, is that of a trashy underground German splatter flick. There's an alien slime contagion brought back from the moon, and a mutated monster is on the rampage amongst the denizens of the trailer-park camping site. A horny visitor is distracted by the local trashy sexpot while the monster tears apart humans, and a government special-unit is sent to deal with the contagion in the way that governments usually deal with things in these movies. The amateur splatter is very obvious home-made quality, but over-the-top and extreme. One scene with an eyeball is sadistic and imaginative to the extreme, but seems out of place for a rampaging slime monster. Plenty of bodies and heads are crushed to a gruesome pulp. Frankly, the only thing this had going for it is the occasional tone that brings to mind Bad Taste, but fans of home-made extreme splatter may get a kick out of it as well.

Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol, The
See Extreme Movies.

Guinea Pig: He Never Dies  
A comedic entry in the Guinea Pig series that tells the tale of a loser at work who stays at home for a few days getting even more depressed over the fact that nobody from work is calling him. He gets so bored, he cuts his own wrist and finds out he cannot die. In a curios panic, he starts cutting off his own limbs, cutting his neck, then invites his friend over and disembowels himself, throwing his entrails at the horrified friend while making silly jokes. A funny splatter comedy.

Guinea Pig: Mermaid in a Manhole  
A painter mourning the loss of his wife finds a diseased mermaid in a sewer where his childhood dreams of innocence and beauty have been smashed. He takes her up into his house to paint her and take care of her. Her extremely nasty disease spreads however, covering her whole body with boils and constantly spurting blood, multi-colored pus, worms, maggots and intestines. A surprising mix of poetic symbolism, tragic drama, extreme gore, and stomach-churning, revolting special effects. An experience not to be taken anywhere near meal-times.

Hacksaw Ridge  
I was hoping for another 'Patriot' or even something similar to the lesser but good 'We Were Soldiers' from this Mel Gibson comeback, but instead, got 'Passion of the Christ' set in WWII. Reminiscent of 'Rambo IV' in terms of heavy use of mainstream gore, this is probably the goriest mainstream war movie to date, and that's saying a lot at this point. The Gibson-esque sacrificial hero this time around is a real-life hero who was a religious conscientious objector during WWII and opted to join the war to save dozens of soldiers on the battlefield without ever touching a gun. His story does sound amazing and inspiring, and the war scenes in the film are amazingly intense, well-done and brutal, but Gibson has lost his more complex story-telling abilities and character-work at this point, focusing only on the religious and one-dimensional heroic message. We don't even get detailed battle tactics from both sides and colorful characters that we saw in the somewhat jingoistic 'We Were Soldiers', and definitely none of the heartbreaking story of the wives at home from that movie. This is all cardboard heroics and slow-motion gory war-porn.

A slasher movie that doesn't try to be clever, and instead focuses on all the campy elements of the genre, mixing it with silly, colorful characters, fun horror-icon cameos, and over-the-top splatter. A group of people go on a cheesy tour of a haunted swamp and encounter a huge, angry, mutant killer. The film manages to surprise with its sudden brutality and entertaining over-the-top gore, featuring bucket-loads of blood, graphically tearing bodies apart in various ways. Of course the killer is impossible to kill, and the dumb blonde that keeps showing her boobs doesn't help their chances of survival. For an audience that watches slashers for dumb, horror, popcorn fun.

Hatchet III  
Surprisingly, this is probably the best of the three. The focus of this one is more on splattery carnage than camp though, although it does offer some blackly comedic bits in between. As with the previous sequel, this one continues right where it left off, with Marybeth killing the monstrous Victor Crowley and going to report to the police station, where she is promptly arrested. Except that, obviously, Victor isn't dead, even though he has been smashed and sliced in half. So they send an army of paramedics, policemen and a SWAT team as fodder for the carnage, each with his own attitude towards the horror. And that is one of the strengths of this movie, that no matter what the attitude, whether they are sporting egos, stupidity and misplaced confidence, or whether they display bouts of impressive common sense, spunk, survival instincts and snark, the superhuman beast of destruction eventually gets them with sheer persistence and tears them all apart limb by limb in eye-poppingly brutal ways. In between the scenes of ultra-gory war, two actors that played Jason Voorhees face off each other, and Sid Haig appears for the most hilarious scene of the trilogy. Good viscerally violent entertainment, but in the end it really is only a gore movie about a bunch of people trying to fight a supernatural killer and nothing more.

Clive Barker's tale of a man who solves a puzzle into hell and discovers pleasure in extreme pain and torture is gruesome, original and effective, but he doesn't seem to have thought the plot and characters through. As the puzzle opens, hooks and chains tear off skin and flesh inconsistently, and mutilated humans from hell called Cenobites come over for either a chat, or instant torture. The man's half brother and ex-lover bring his remains back to life with blood and the Cenobites do not like being cheated out of their victims...

Hellraiser 2 (Hellbound)  
This slightly more interesting sequel is merely an excuse for gory special effects, very imaginative gruesome torture devices and lots of butchering. A doctor obsessed with unlocking the mystery of death and hell comes across the characters (both dead and alive), from the previous outing and his gruesome awakening threatens to overcome even the Cenobites. Lots of bizarre but tedious chases down the corridors of hell, an evil that spills over onto Earth, and the same incoherent plot all serve as a backdrop for empty gore and nastiness.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth  
Compared to the first two, this doesn't have the extreme, grimy, unpleasant and gruesome gore, but it still stands on its own as a gory movie. Unfortunately, it is also the movie that tries to turn hell into a spectacle of designer gruesome-wear and nonsensical but inventively entertaining deaths. There are Krueger-esque wisecracks and some new and very silly Cenobites in the form of a man fused with a camera, a woman with a cigarette attached to her throat, and a man with razor-sharp CDs embedded in his skull. The plot involving Pinhead attempting to invade Earth and having to deal with the ghostly remains of his better self, is half interesting, half random supernatural nonsense. Pinhead gets many good lines of dialogue and has never been more intimidating and convincing, except he is surrounded by this sometimes campy form of gruesome entertainment. There is a memorable hellish statue that hooks into people skins them and eats them, a confrontation with a priest where Pinhead has some really evil fun, but the most memorable scene by far is the Boiler Room massacre with hundreds of wildly varied kills all performed in minutes by an out-of-control Pinhead. A mixed bag; Simultaneously creative, gruesome, intense, dumb and silly.

High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter  
Silly, stupidly entertaining zombie comedy from Japan with the appropriate buckets of blood. This is not at the creative level of a Nishimura film though. A girl and her friends go to visit her senile grandfather, who also happens to be a swordsman, in a town overrun by zombies. The get eaten one by one, while the grandfather grafts a super zombie-hunter's arm onto his granddaughter and turns her into a warrior. Add to the mix a zombie who kept his wits but can barely contain himself from eating humans, and a super-zombie with special powers. If scenes like a gory sword-fight between a Japanese girl, a sci-fi super-zombie and a grandfather tickle your fancy, pick this one up. Cartoonishly entertaining.

Hobo with a Shotgun  
Like Machete, this was born out of the trailers that accompanied Tarantino's Grindhouse trailer-fest. Like Planet Terror, this homage to 70s grindhouse violence takes it so over-the-top and tries so hard to be so-bad-its-good camp, that it loses some of its charm and authenticity in the process and has trouble maintaining a consistent tone. Rutger Hauer is a hobo that finds himself in a very crime-ridden town ruled by psychotic criminals. When they push him too far, he forgoes his dream to buy a lawn mower, and buys a shotgun instead with which to clean the streets. The many over-the-top violent acts here include embedding a man in a manhole before decapitating him with a car while a girl washes herself in his arterial spray, chopping up a hand and arm with a lawn-mower down to a sharp stump which is promptly used as a stabbing weapon, and so on. Add to this some filthy dialogue so over-the-top and badly written, it could only make sense in a Troma movie. In short, the gore is grindhouse nasty and imaginative but lacks wit, the movie is trying hard to be bad so there's only so much entertainment you can get out of it, and it ends up feeling like a relatively good Troma movie. Only Rutger Hauer gets it right, acting like a b-movie actor in a b-movie who gives it everything he's got and he makes this the best of the neo-grindhouse wave. Dunsworth as the smart whore with a heart of gold who befriends him also delivers. It's just a pity that everything around them, especially the bad guys, undermines this approach with cartoonish awfulness and nastiness.

Home Sick  
A strange gory slasher that feels like someone tried to direct a low-budget campy gore movie as a serious horror movie with Fulci atmosphere. The characters and situations mostly belong in an H.G. Lewis movie though. A deliriously insane Suitcase Man barges into a party full of annoying teenagers, opens his suitcase full of razor blades and starts cutting himself for every person the party guests hate. When these people start to die in gruesome ways, the teenagers have some beer, let a few more people die, go to an insane mechanic, then to a redneck dad with a private armory, while the killer disembowels them, slices their feet apart, smashes or tears off their heads, and punches holes through their faces. Somewhat entertaining as long as you take the over-acting as camp, and ignore the strangely made-up raccoon circles around all of their eyes.

Horde, The  
The French tackle a zombie movie, which made me very interested, until I watched it and found that this isn't a zombie movie, but a video game with a video game mentality. The plot is bare-bones: Renegade cops on a revenge spree attack a condemned building housing some bad criminals, the mission goes bad, but before they can finish their game, chaos breaks out and a horde of zombies attack the building, forcing them to team up Tarantino style. An insane old war veteran with a decidedly perverse sense of fun joins them soon after. That's it. The rest of the movie is just a bunch of badass people fighting hundreds of zombies with badass action and a variety of weapons. Buckets of blood are splashed around as zombies are taken out with large caliber guns, shotguns and machetes, but unfortunately a lot of it is obviously CGI blood. The zombies are hyper-violent, and sometimes the fights are hand-to-hand, resulting in brutal, gory and endless violence bashing up zombies with anything available in desperate attempts to get the rabid undead to stay down. But it's all macho action and as brainless as it gets: People risk their lives just to get bigger guns, they try to get out of a building into a horde of undead even though it has been successfully closed off from zombies, dozens of hyper zombies can't seem to grab a man's legs as he stands on a car, men sacrifice themselves for no good reason just because it looks badass, the first zombie proved that only a headshot counts and yet they never aim at their heads throughout the movie, and so on. A mildly entertaining but really stupid video game for the braindead only.

Hunting Creatures  
German zombie splatter featuring gangsters with guns (which made me think it was a Timo Rose movie). Some criminals decide to start a rave party in a warehouse, which turns out to be the location of a scientific experiment gone wrong. Before you know it, everyone turns to porridge spewing zombies and the disease spreads. The gangsters team up with scientists and go on a gory killing spree for the rest of the movie, tearing apart zombies in various locations as they spread. Amateurish and dumb, but entertaining thanks to its non-stop violence and way over-the-top splatter as the zombies and fighters slice, rip, disembowel, decapitate, eat and tear-apart each other with glee.

I.B.S. (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)  
Who knew digestion problems were a symptom of homicidal urges? This is a gross-out comedy-horror about bowel movements, serial killing and some gore. I expected only juvenile gross-outs, but for most of the movie it actually gets the tone right i.e. in the spirit of a Troma movie: Light-hearted simple characters in a trashy, amusing and gory situation. Larry 's life has been ruined for decades due to IBS that kicks in daily and always at the wrong moments. When he tries a hypnotist, he finds a new repressed way to handle his problem. His friendly and studly flat-mate is too busy with his dozens of naked girls to notice what is happening with his girls disappearing, and old problems at work are suddenly solved swiftly. The toilet humor and gross-outs are juvenile, the characters are fun, there is some gore that grows to splattery proportions only towards the end, but the last third kinda loses control and just goes on a pointless killing spree, like its character.

Incredible Melting Man, The  
Late 70s b-movie notorious for its special effects. It's a bad one, but entertainingly bad, as only a b-movie from that period can be. An astronaut returns from a mission to Saturn with some severe damage from a sun-flare that causes him to be radioactive and, yup, you guessed it, melt. He escapes from the hospital in a rage, and wanders the countryside with a dripping gooey body, alternatively leaving behind a trail of gooey pizza gore, and killing everyone he meets. Dismembered body parts fly, buckets of pizza drip, a decapitated head splatters and falls apart, until the grand melt finale. Not exactly super-gory by today's standards, but definitely a gore landmark.

Inside (À L'intérieur)  
A widowed, pregnant woman is stalked in her home by a psychotic woman who seems to have a special interest in her baby. Carnage ensues as the police, family and co-workers get involved. And that's putting it mildly. Whereas Braindead may be the goriest movie ever made in the comical over-the-top sense, this is probably the goriest realistic horror movie ever made. It doesn't linger or zoom-in on the carnage, but the slashing is unrelentingly nasty and endless, featuring extremely bloody slashings and stabbings with scissors, pieces of glass, knitting needles, guns, other sharp objects. The tension and horror is very high and the twist ending is actually good, but the flaws here include the endless gore bordering on the ridiculous when the should-be-dead come back to life, the lack of plot, the cliche of an invincible slasher that somehow always gets the better of much stronger people, and some very badly trained cops. The scary thing is that there are really women out there in the news with a similar psychotic obsession.

In The Name Of Gore  
More underground German splatter with youths as criminals causing gory havoc in basements and forests a la Timo Rose, only slightly better acted and scripted. Two criminals, one wounded, decide on a home invasion in order to perform some bullet-extraction surgery with a fork on themselves. The owner of the home turns out to be a writer of gory stories, who soon shares his ideas with the criminals. Two stories are presented with a final surprise: A raped woman haunts a man's dreams who enlists the help of a cop friend, and with an arsenal of weapons, seek out the perpetrators for a lot of sadistic torture and violence. The second story involves a violent killing spree in the woods between criminals and campers over a magical liquid that can bring the dead back to life. Mostly violent entertainment with some scenes of over-the-top gore involving finger-chopping, head explosions, self eye-gouging and more.

A by-the-numbers slasher movie, but in its uncut version, features a few scattered over-the-top gory deaths. The plot is generic (mysterious murderer stalks young people and chops them up one by one) but the location is a supermarket, the acting is good, and the use of inventive camera angles make this a must-see for slasher fans. The most infamous gore scenes involve a hydraulic press and an electric saw to the head.

I Scream When I Knew What You Did in Friday the 13th... 2  
Actually, the full title is: "I Scream When I Knew What You Did in Friday the 13th of Last Summer Part 2 - I Saw the Hour of the Return of the Revenge in Halloween". Yes, it's another Scream clone meta-slasher-spoof, this one very much home-made with a pocket-change budget, from Brazil. The killer even wears the Scream mask. It's also a sequel to an even lower-budget VHS movie. The movie is about two things: A bunch of folks having fun with slasher cliches, and with old-school home-made splattery special effects. It's not clever or original, but there's a little fun to be had if you're in the mood for this kind of thing. The killer is back from the first part, hunting and slashing the survivors and their friends. Mouths are skewered, heads chopped in half, smashed bottles crushed into stomachs, decapitation showers, etc. Along the way, the various youngsters remark on whether the developments match slasher movies that are worthy or not, and others try to get laid with eggplants.

Isle of the Damned  
A follow-up to Pleasures of the Damned with a similar recreation/homage to 70s horror, this time for the Italian cannibal genre. Once again we are treated to people with silly costumes, huge wigs and moustaches, all atrociously dubbed, with an excessive take on an excessive genre. Various groups of people travel to an island of cannibals in search of treasure, encounter savages and a wild jungle, and find that there are worse savages inside themselves. Barbaric violent rituals, cannibalism, chaos, ruthlessly greedy white men, sexual violence, and lots and lots of extreme splatter are all there, but there are also cheesy action heroes, dumb sidekicks, a bisexual rapist fat man, toilet and gay humor, a pirate, and other silly characters. This movie is two things at once: The mildly amusing but very stupid spoof on the cannibal genre, and a terribly idiotic Seaver movie without the idiosyncratic dialogue. There is also a lot of buggery going on (with a pole, knife, by a dad, or a gang of cannibals) that is obviously about the film-maker rather than the cannibal genre. If you expect something really really stupid and watched some cannibal movies, you may be mildly amused.

I Survived a Zombie Holocaust  
Light fun zombie-comedy from New Zealand obviously inspired by Peter Jackson's early movies, but without the creativity and inspired wit. It features a zombie apocalypse that happens to a crew filming a terrible zombie apocalypse movie, except most of the crew are too thick to realize it is happening. Amidst the chaos, there's a geeky 'runner' hired to do all the dirty jobs, who falls in love with the gorgeous catering girl, and it's Lionel from Braindead all over again, with awkward, simple but practical survival instincts kicking in for a gory fun time. The gore is splattery fun involving things like kitchen appliances used as weapons and exploding heads, but nothing as extreme or creative as Jackson (what is?). The characters are one-dimensional but entertaining, the writing is unoriginal but competently fun, and the comedy is broad and silly but amusing. There are a handful of hilarious scenes but most of the movie is just light fun.

Italian Zombie Movie, The (Zombie Abomination & Zombie Atrocity)    
Micro-budget, 3.5 hour, homage-cum-parody of 80s horror movies released in two parts. The horror movies being worshipped are mostly Italian, and mostly zombie movies, but this pretty much throws in everything and the kitchen sink, including cheesy sci-fi with robots and spacemen, miscellaneous horror icons like a Succubus, a flying decapitated head straight out of Asian horror, and much more. There are plenty of characters as well, including the useless Succubus and her dumb misogynist boyfriend, a doctor and a pair of Michigan Militia all with conspiratorial secrets, some army people, a psychic sister, a feminist gas attendant, a zombie king, and so on. The writing and structure basically does whatever it feels like, tying together a series of vignettes within a vaguely incoherent plot, like a Zucker-Abrahams parody, except without the wit. Gore makes plenty of appearances, albeit not in impressive ways, but they have plenty of fun with intestines, exploding heads, with one scene of a man letting all his intestines out in the crapper like a twisted parody of 'City of the Living Dead'. The music is also all over the place and stolen or copied from said worshipped horror movies. To sum up, 3.5 hours of random silliness, weirdness, gore, and reference-dropping for horror fans made by a fan. Personally, I found it way too long, lacking wit and with too much bad acting, but I can see others enjoying this.

It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To  
Campy horror/slasher movie inspired by Tom Savini and a dozen other horror movies, with Creepshow comic-book interludes, a 'choose your own adventure' DVD branching feature, and a borderline abundance of gore. Teenagers set up a horror-themed birthday party in a haunted house for a horror-obsessed girl with the expected consequences. An evil man who butchered his own family comes back as a possessed creature (good special effects) and starts the massacre with a mixed approach of serious but low-budget horror and camp (girl tries to turn into a karate-sword-wielding super-chick and repetitively tries to kill the monster). The gore is sparse but peppered with a wide variety of enthusiastic splatter effects and a lingering camera.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer  
A horror comedy that doesn't quite deliver on neither the horror or the comedy, but which is very entertaining nevertheless. Jack is an angry young plumber who witnessed his family murdered by a monster and who keeps lashing out at everyone, including his shrink. It doesn't help that his girlfriend happens to sport a very annoying attitude and high-pitched voice and hangs around an even more annoying, overly-friendly modern hippy who is obviously hitting on her. At night school, his eccentric chemistry teacher asks for help with his pipes and they unleash a demon. Englund as the eccentric and mild-mannered teacher is a riot, and his gradual transformation into a multi-purpose gruesome monster is the best thing about this movie. Somehow, his dog delivers the funniest performance of the movie though. The effects are all old-school makeup, suits and puppets and there isn't a modern computer in sight. The rest of the movie doesn't do so well though: They're all annoying and fail to find a funny angle to their characters, and practically the whole movie is projected in the first five minutes, leaving no surprises as the slow-pace plods along with its irritating character development for an hour. Technically, the gore isn't really extreme, since it all happens in the last 20 minutes and is mostly gooey, slimy, gloopy and rubbery. But it may feel that way thanks to the really messy scenes of exploding monsters, vicious gory bites from goo-infected demons, and an over-the-top head-smashing. Slither did this better.

Janitor, The  
Troma-style gore, boobs and body fluids comedy about a Janitor who is humiliated or ignored by everyone and goes on a killing spree. The acting is campy, the splatter is plentiful with dismemberments galore, there is crude humor with a prostitute who gives a new meaning to giving head, and there are dozens of silly horror movie references. As far as campy b-movie trash is concerned, this is amongst the best.

This Slovenian back-woods horror movie is not going to get any points for originality, but it is gruesomely effective. It's mostly a Wrong Turn clone, part Deliverance, and a bunch of other similar genre movies. A couple of models and a photographer go to a remote location in the mountains for a photo-shoot when two ugly mutated Slovenian-style hillbillies abduct them. There's brutal gory violence, and a horrifying extraction of liquids from human bodies for their local popular brand of moonshine. One of the models turns out to be a lot more capable than one would expect, and she carries the movie, allowing the audience to cheer for her. Gore is just barely above-average splattery for this type of genre with ugly brutality, and it is capably done.

Kill, Granny, Kill!  
A throwback to 80s campy horror that actually gets it right, keeping it simple, colorful, campy and somewhat gory. The killer in this movie is a lovable old granny with strongly principled Christian morals... a bit too strongly principled. She also has developed a taste for delicately prepared human meat and is quite handy with an axe, despite her shaky weak hands. Just this concept alone is worth a laugh and the movie adds other fun characters in the form of a loyal but horny son, a hapless, bitchy, young, slutty girl who takes the job taking care of old granny, as well as her horny boyfriend and other friends. The camp ranges from too silly to funny, the character interaction is very good, the gore is borderline, restricted to only a couple of scenes but these scenes suddenly pull out all the stops with splattery castration and decapitation.

Knochenwald Trilogy      
German underground amateur splatter trilogy made by some teenagers over a period of 8 years that slowly improves. The three parts are 20, 60 and 90 minutes long respectively, and all feature a psychotic serial killer in a gas mask killing any young folk that wander into the forest. The first is a simple collection of kill scenes. The second features a second cannibalistic, squeaky-voiced killer that escapes from a mental asylum with a grudge against his doctors, and who soon joins forces with the first killer. This one is a bit more campy but is still just an empty, lame excuse for practicing on splatter effects. The third features a resurrected, supernatural killer and an aggressive copycat, adds a lot of camp and toilet-humor involving a group of metal-heads, goth-kids and their party, all leading to a really over-the-top splatter finale. The acting is always terrible, the effects aren't at all convincing, but they keep learning new tricks, and the movies know how bad they are and just have silly fun with it. The splatter obsesses over a wide variety of things that can be done to the head, including cutting, slicing, splitting, smashing, crushing, impaling, shooting, decapitating, etc. and that's as far as their splatter inventiveness goes I'm afraid, but as long as you know what you're getting into, it can be amusing.

Yet another German home-made splatter movie, and I'm starting to think that the German youth has clubs for this type of thing and have to go through it as a rite of passage. Fortunately, this one has action, horror-fun and plot-developments on its mind, and not just splatter, giving their (limited) audience more entertainment instead of just another intensely boring splatterfest. Unfortunately, it's still home-made amateur crap. It's like someone remade 5 Jason movies into one home-made movie: There's an insane asylum, a mad scientist 'Dr Rock', a group of people experimenting with some kind of immortalizing drug that allows people to re-attach lost limbs and whatnot, except that after burning one of their experiments, they produced a mad killer. The killer is constantly revived, eventually even supernaturally. Enter a hero, killer of killers, who wants revenge for his brother. Much chasing, fighting, killing, and splattery violence ensues. The gore involving decapitations, dismemberments and disembowelments is over-the-top but very obviously home-made, unimaginative and silly. Strictly for people that enjoy making fun of entertainingly bad movies.

Last Days of Humanity, The  
Home-made German splatterfest covering a post-zombie-apocalypse. Somewhat better than your average German underground splatter film if you enjoy pocket-change gore films, but I wish the plot would have done something more interesting than the average zombie survival drama. Four survivors wander the zombified country, meeting the occasional straggler. The beginning and end are packed with extreme splatter with bodies being torn apart in various ways, though much of it is visibly fake. In between, there is character development, traumas, guilt, and a man afraid to face the world.

Last Rites of the Dead (AKA Zombies Anonymous)  
An interesting but flawed zombie movie. The zombies here act just like live people, even trying to keep their jobs, meet at Zombie support groups, eat raw meat instead of people, and deal with society's hatred for them, while their bodies decompose. A cult forms around a weird zombie girl that supports flesh-eating zombies as the new ideal, and another group forms around an angry woman in favor of massacring zombies. This setup and the depiction of a society trying to deal with the epidemic ranks amongst the best satirical zombie movies in the tradition of Romero. Unfortunately, the characterizations and some of the acting form poor caricatures, with the worst offenders being the ridiculous female group leaders which are acted over-the-top. The characters suffer under the writer's contrivances and never come alive, and this makes the movie uninvolving and amateurish. The gore scenes involve a wide variety of violence, beheadings and zombie munching and although they don't dwell on the carnage much there are simply so many of them that this practically becomes a splatter movie.

Lethal Force  
An instant classic hidden unknown gem of a spoof of all things action-movie. Although a spoof, it often feels like a dedicated watcher of action movies collected all the cliches of extreme action and pushed them over-the-top in a loving low-budget homage, while just having fun. In other words, it not only feels like it was done by an expert in b-movie action, capturing the fun and feel of such movies, it also focuses more on having fun with it rather than just poking fun. The climax finale features all of the gore, with Japanese-style geysers of blood, drills to the head and some surprising Shaw-Brothers style over-the-top lethal violence. But until then it delivers John Woo spoofing, Westerns, ridiculous kung-fu, an impossibly immortal assassin called Savitch that is channeling Mark Dacascos, black-sploitation, Yakuza ultra-violence, etc etc. The plot? Something about a gangster going after his best friend after his family is kidnapped.

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (AKA The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue)  
Early British/Spanish/Italian zombie movie that jumped out of a grave right after Night of the Living Dead. A long-haired antique dealer gets his motorcycle run over by a whiny woman, their lives tied together for the next few days as he commandeers her car and drives to the country. A local ultrasound machine is having strange side-effects as dead people come back to life and go on a killing rampage while the cops blame it all on the poor antique dealer. There is relatively little gore but it is infamous for taking the first gruesome steps before Dawn of the Dead and features a few nasty scenes of breast and gut ripping. Interesting entertaining effort but flawed by a hollow dubbing job and numerous illogical plot devices just to give the director the scenes he needs.

Lone Wolf and Cub 2: Baby Cart at the River Styx  
The second in a series of six classic Japanese cartoonish Samurai violent movies based on a manga, and the most gory and over-the-top of the lot. Lone Wolf is an ex-Shogunate, Samurai assassin that chose the road to hell after being double-crossed by a powerful clan. In this road to hell, he wanders the country, offering his superb swordsmanship for hire and pushing his little boy around in a cart while fending off attackers and ninjas, usually sent by his nemesis. Both him and his boy have given up on an ethical normal life, yet retain Samurai honor. The killings are so over-the-top, blood geysers shoot 5 meters and dismembered limbs get flung about regularly. Violently entertaining with a strong, albeit somewhat one-dimensional main character, but mostly cartoonish with the expected Samurai codes of honor twisted beyond recognition. As opposed to the relatively more sober first entry, this one and the other sequels feel more like a comic-book samurai flick with absurdly colorful enemies, fancy moves and a swiss-army knife baby-cart with super-weapons, all adding up to a manga-based samurai flick made purely for violent entertainment rather than for anything serious or meaningful.

Mad Doctor of Blood Island  
While not a splatterfest by today's standards or even an H.G. Lewis movie, this 1968 movie is considered a classic drive-in gore and exploitation movie with some surprising gore for its time. It's also a very fun b-movie made by Filipinos with some American actors. A group of people visit a remote island for various reasons, an island populated by natives, jungles, a bloodthirsty monster, and some strange doctors and rituals. The tone is so bizarre it takes a while to get into the world this movie creates, but when it gets going it's pure b-movie cheese. The green-blooded monster literally tears people apart, while strange sick people keep appearing, and a very odd young woman runs around with impenetrable agendas of her own who stops orgies and rituals for no reason, and who uses men for sex.

Mad Heidi  
Cheesy "Swissploitation" by a Swiss movie-maker and mixed cast, but, besides the locations, this feels more American. When I say cheesy, I mean literally. This takes place in some kind of dystopian alternate reality where a Swiss-cheese-manufacturing fascist tycoon has taken over the world, and despises anyone who is lactose intolerant. A defiant mountain girl crosses his path. Contains women-in-prison exploitation, S&M comedy, milking machines, a cheesy training montage, an otherworldly sifu, revenge, female body-builders, and a bunch of over-the-top splatter and blood geysers. But it's all light and delivered in a comical campy manner, feeling more like a grindhouse spoof than anything twisted. Silly but entertaining.

Mad Mutilator (AKA Ogroff)  
A French version of Nathan Schiff. A man in a mask hops around in the woods chopping off children's heads, people's body parts and axing them, has a fight with a man and a chainsaw, has erotic fantasies with his axe, meets a soul-mate in the form of a psychotic woman who is killing people in the woods, then the movie turns into a Texas Chainsaw clone, a zombie movie and then a vampire priest movie. Contains almost no dialogue, boasts horribly cheap but gleeful splatter effects, and features a cheap ambient electronic score. Entertaining in a mad, zero-budget way.

Mexico Barbaro  
A very weak Mexican anthology of savage horror shorts, with only a couple of points of interest. Strangely, the inter-titles are the goriest things in this collection, although there a couple of quite gory shorts as well: One pointlessly nasty one involves a bum that collects organs from kids then does nastier things to their dead bodies. And the last one is about strippers taking brutal violent revenge on their bestial audience. The only semi-good short is about a haunted hacienda with a sexy ghost, and there's also an interesting nightmarish one where a man uses a lengthy supernatural evil burial ritual to bring back someone from the dead while seeing many strange hellish visions. A really silly one with buckets of nasty fluids involves short creatures with large penises kidnapping a virginal girl. There's a short featuring a serial killer in the back-woods fighting with a fleeing girl-victim that seems pointless at first, but which has a surprise ironic twist. And finally, there are a couple of instantly forgettable and empty-headed ones involving a beheading cult, and another with a night-demon that wants menstrual blood and sucking souls through anuses.

Midnight Meat Train, The  
Clive Barker's approach that is short on common sense and high on gruesome visions of hell, paired with Kitamura's over-the-top, b-movie, stylish, fanboy anime approach to making movies could only result in a visually rich but very empty horror movie. Leon is a photographer attempting to capture the gritty realism of the city and the attention of a gallery owner, but when he follows some punks into a subway he finds much more than he bargained for. Vinnie Jones is the scary subway killer, using various butcher's tools including his favorite meat tenderizer to carve up some late-night travellers. What follows is a lot of illogical behaviour, lots of splattery kill scenes of varied quality with eye-popping hammer blows, flesh carving and decapitation, hellish monstrosities, and stylish cinematography with Kitamura's typically artificial look and feel. For undemanding horror fans only.

Millennium Bug, The  
A bad-movie in a mildly fun way, combining comedy, nastiness, gore, mutated-inbreeding redneck-hillbilly exploitation, and a cheesy huge-monster movie with bad effects. A family find themselves trapped by a nasty family of backwoods freaks having trouble with their horny inbreeding plans, who promptly decide to forcefully include them in their family. Matters escalate quickly into horny nastiness and violence, all performed over-the-top for campy effect, until a bug-monster arrives to send them all scrambling for cover. Besides a mutated birth and some splattery violence, the bug literally crushes, chews and spits and impales anyone it can.

Mind's Eye, The  
An obvious homage to Scanners, this one also gleefully reproduces the 80s horror vibe with practical & gooey not-quite-convincing special effects, and a loud synth soundtrack. The story is an uninspired copy of Scanners and others like it, where a group of scientists and hench-men capture people with telekinetic powers to study and train them, with a few other secret agendas. The independent telekinetics fight back, leading to a climax of literally head-exploding proportions. The gore-factor is higher than Scanners, and the movie just barely crosses the border into splatter, with a few heads being chopped, exploded or decapitated, but it's all in the final third of the movie. The actors are below-average amateurs and the story is uninspired, but fans of this style of 80s horror should enjoy it somewhat for what it is.

Minutes Past Midnight  
Anthology of nine shorts, and as is typical with these kinds of things, the quality varies a lot. 'Never Tear Us Apart' and 'Crazy for You' are the fun ones with a black sense of humor and a good punchline, the former also featuring some brief but over-the-top splatter. 'Roid Rage' is the only really extreme one in the bunch but it's also the dumbest, featuring endless juvenile toilet humor, bad splatter and extreme gross-outs about some killer 'roids. 'Feeder' and 'Ghost Train' are the solid horror entries, one about an evil presence demanding sacrifices in return for rewards, the other a King-esque story about older guys returning to a horror scene of their youth. 'Horrific' is a fun violent one about trashy man vs monster. 'Timothy' is only average about a killer cartoon character, 'The Mill at Calder's End' is a chaotic below-average gothic-horror animation, and 'Awake' is the worst nonsense about a violent kid.

Monster Man  
If Kevin Smith would have directed a tribute to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this may have been the result. A jerk and a virginal, anal-retentive nerd go on a road trip together to the annoyance of the nerd. The banter and humor is fast, obnoxious, funny and rude. Deep in redneck country, they encounter creepy people, aggressive vehicles and grotesque hints that all is not right in these backwoods. The gruesome but funny finale contains most of the splatter, but the movie is flawed with a cliched and silly plot twist, a silly climax where the bad guys explain everything endlessly, and a silly sex scene. Moderately entertaining.

Mucha Sangre  
Spanish zombie comedy probably inspired by Dusk 'til Dawn and Bad Taste. When the Spanish attempt a Tarantino you know things are going to get wild. When the movie features Paul Naschy as the chief of an alien group that sodomizes men in order to change them into zombies, then things are definitely out of control. Two escaped prisoners and a woman run to a village to get money from a local crime lord, but find out everyone is either being converted to zombies that regenerate their own body parts, or are being stored as food. Gore, twisted comedy, action, and John Woo shootouts ensue. The highlight is when they try to figure out how to kill a zombie for hours with a chainsaw. Unfortunately, there are too many dumb toilet jokes, the development is unsatisfying, and last third features endless silly shootouts instead of gore.

Murder University  
Z-generation attempt to emulate 80s slasher horror and characters, and not doing a very good job. There is nothing 80s about these actors, neither in terms of attitudes, energy, looks and politics. That said, there is a bit of fun to be had here as this is a light slasher comedy with some black humor as well as horror-drama, and the comedic aspects aren't too bad. A university campus is plagued by gruesome killings involving splattery beheadings and scalpings, similar to killings from 20 years ago. A student, a grizzled detective, and his daughter, join forces to try to stop the killings, all of them survivors. For its last third, however, it gets caught up in its standard nonsensical slasher plot, and I don't like slashers.

Mutilator, The  
This one stands out as one of the goriest slasher movies of the 80s (in its uncut version), exceeding Friday the 13th. It also features teenagers with some charm that aren't annoying jerks or oversexed losers for a change. After a jaw-dropping opening featuring matricide, we accompany the gaggle of teenagers to their weekend trip at a beach house, where they will play games, have sex and be slaughtered. The movie doesn't bother with any mystery about the killer, since the killer is more disturbing in his known deranged state, and the killings are splattery and sometimes very sadistic, including a shocking fish-hook to a girl's crotch, splattery death by outboard motor, pitchfork or being cut in half by a car.

Nasty Nancy  
Half-length Croatian campy splatter that attempts to emulate gory Japanese vengeful schoolgirl craziness. There's this school where students can only pass exams by providing sexual favors for teachers. A group of teachers (that are just as young as the students) are invited to a deserted warehouse for a party, and soon find themselves victims of an angry girl with a katana in a miniskirt and skates. Low-budget splatter and camp ensues, which is kinda fun as long as you aren't expecting really creative gore. There's one fight scene involving a 'sextasy' super-penis, another involving spanking dismembered hands, and another with a naughty use of a katana.

Necrophagia: Nightmare Scenerios  
Another collection of various videos from the very mediocre, gore-obsessed death-metal band Necrophagia, most of them music videos with scenes of gore or horror. There's a lame Coffin Joe segment with lots of maniacal laughter, a throne of asses and some breast mutilation, lots of nasty and gritty worm-ridden gore from Fred Vogel, a tribute to Flowers of Flesh and Blood by Killjoy and Ryan Nicholson featuring a psychotic boyfriend cutting up his girl, a horror appearance by Naschy, and an uninteresting gore clip from Ryan Nicholson, all set against uninteresting death metal.

Neighborhood Watch (AKA Deadly End)  
A nasty horror movie with an unusual bad guy: The nastiest neighbour you can never imagine. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. A young couple move into a new house with strangely insane or physically sick neighbours. They slowly learn why, the hard way. This horror movie doesn't use standard violence and gore, but imaginative and nasty home-made biological warfare, wielded by a disturbingly insane man. It even has a masturbation scene that involves home-surgery guaranteed to offend everyone and anyone. The effects for most of the movie consist of nasty physical ailments and bodily fluids, then, for the grand finale, it knocks you out with stomach churning gore. The behaviour of some of the people and the amount of abuse they take is unrealistic, and the whole subplot involving his new job seems to have been mysteriously forgotten, but otherwise this is effective and unique horror.

Night Comes for Us, The  
Another Indonesian ultra-violent action movie with Iko Uwais, following up on Headshot and the two Raid movies. I found the first Raid movie quite good and intense, the second one was very overrated with too much unrealistic and obviously staged fighting, and it has gone downhill since then, with increasingly violent but less and less realistic fights. Which brings us to this ridiculous gore-fest. This one is modelled after John Woo's gangster heroic-bloodshed movies, complete with repenting assassin, internal rivalries, old friends and betrayals. But whereas that little sub-genre allowed for some suspension of disbelief concerning the amount of damage the protagonists could take and still limp to the next fight, this one doesn't even bother defining a borderline and has its fighters take such an absurd amount of deep wounds, crippling, bone-crushing punishment, bullets, and massive cuts, that it becomes an unintentional comedy. It's not just about them surviving, but the way in which they brush off the most extreme damage and keep on fighting as if nothing happened. I couldn't stop laughing for the climactic fight scene. In this sense it starts approaching the ridiculousness of Story of Ricky except without the intentional comedy and campy, over-the-top splatter. Most of the movie consists of fights, endless carnage, gashing wounds, blood sprays, brutal tearing apart of bodies with several dozens types of weapons and tools, including billiard balls, pieces of wood or glass, air-conditioners, electric saws and sharp wire, ripping, crushing, slicing and breaking every part of the body and then some. The choreography is a mixed bag: Some fights are good, but much is unimpressive and unrealistic, including things like crowds lining up to fight one-by-one, guys holding their positions still while the guy shifts for the killing blow, some obvious untrained fighters with slow movements and projected swings, girls matching their muscles against guys twice their size, and so on. Also, these guys are just plain savage, taking the 'art' out of martial arts. The camera-work, special effects and especially the stunt-work are all top-notch and very impressive however.

Nightmare Cinema  
Above-average old-school anthology of five fun horror shorts. Two of them are splattery, and one is a fantasy that is almost surreal. The first is an absurdly over-the-top slasher by the director of Juan of the Dead with very splattery deaths, strong energy, and a plot twist that is actually quite good. No, really, it's a slasher twist that doesn't suck. The second is classic fun Joe Dante horror material that feels like a comic book, involving a plastic-surgery clinic that isn't what it seems. The third is by far the weakest, a Kitamura silly film involving demon possession run amok in a Catholic boarding school that is full of sin, with a very splattery massacre of children. The fourth is an intriguing nightmare-fantasy involving a woman who keeps seeing her world turn filthy and people turn scarily distorted. The fifth is a pretty good ghost horror short with a kid that experienced a violent trauma. All five stories are watched by people drawn into a mysterious movie theatre run by Mickey Rourke.

Night of Something Strange  
This is like the Slither of outrageous sexual horror-comedy and is one of those movies where you don't believe where they take things, and then they go even further. I suppose you should know what you're getting into when the comedy starts with a necrophilia scene involving a girl with a radioactive STD. After that, it's a zombie outbreak of sexual proportions, and guess where you must shoot these zombies? Each attack is unique and guaranteed to offend, from accidental gay sex, to zombie rape, to a variety of genital mutations and graphic gory genital abuse, acidic body fluids, a literal vagina dentata, menstruation gone wrong, a pubic toilet from hell, and so on. It's a teenage sex comedy, if the sex were completely warped and diseased, combined with zombie splatter. Throw in plenty of gore, and a funny homage to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and you have one messed up comedy that should appeal to a specific crowd.

Night of the Dead: Leben Tod  
A poor man's version of Re-Animator with bucket-loads of splatter. The plot is a cliche: A doctor who lost his wife and child develops a serum to re-animate the dead, but the dead develop a hunger for flesh. As the doctor experiments and tries to improve the serum in a private clinic, things get increasingly out of hand as the masses of failed experiments take their revenge. An experimental pregnancy and a gore-loving assistant complicate matters. Some of the acting isn't bad for such a low budget, the splatter effects are way over-the-top and quite good, but the movie is dull, cliched and dumb. For example, in order to inject a serum into a dead man, they open up his whole abdomen first with scissors. Some humor would have helped as well.

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain  
When I first saw this it was obviously the cut version and I thought it was just another film that barely earned its 'Video Nasty' label. But in its uncut form it definitely earns it. Not only does it feature over-the-top splattery deaths, but it also has a psycho-sexual horror angle that can get disturbing. It's a character study of sexual scarring in an early age, about a broken sociopathic mind that passes on through generations, and also about a deranged killer released too soon from the insane asylum. The actors are pretty good, delivering the drama necessary for this to get a little under your skin, despite its 80s bloody slasher approach to horror. There is sexual kink triggering violent impulses, a geyser of a beheading shown over and over in slow-motion, and other splattery nasty deaths shown in close-up.

Night Terrors  
Horror anthology with an attitude and a bit of black comedy. The wrapper involves a bitter girl babysitting her young brother and telling him the most gruesome stories out of spite. The first story is a dull slasher Santa story that goes nowhere, featuring a couple of very splattery kills. The second is an extremely dark and twisted one about a mad scientist willing to do anything to save his dying daughter and includes extreme gruesome violence against little children and a pregnant woman. The third is a more fun Cronenbergian zombie variation involving a nasty sexually transmitted disease and a couple of horny nerds.

Ninja Assassin  
What do you get when you take a ninja b-movie, give it a Hollywood budget and the Wachowski brothers as producers, and add a whole lot of splatter? Very simple: You get a high-priced ninja b-movie with gore. This has all the cliches of a bad ninja movie, except it has cool looking action scenes and for some reason, every hit or slice results in a bucket of blood. The ninjas start as invincible, supernatural, omnipotent, never-miss killers, where one ninja can evade bullets and kill a couple dozen armed people, but then, gradually throughout the movie, they become more and more useless as the hero and heroine need to survive more and more scenes, until one man with a gun can suddenly kill 10 ninjas. More stupid b-movie logic: Any bucket-of-blood-wound kills bad guys instantly, but the hero can survive a dozen of these. The primary goal of a ninja, stealth, is stupidly forgotten when ninjas in this movie, for some reason, warn people that they are about to appear with a message. And so on. It's still somewhat entertaining though, and if there was any doubt that splatter has gone mainstream, this should put that doubt to rest. Bodies are sliced in a myriad of ways here, all resulting in buckets of blood. The story? Rogue ninja teams up with rogue law-enforcement girl to fight other ninjas. I recommend the similar Crying Freeman instead which had more style, character and consistency.

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 1 & 2    
Polish horror with light comedy. The first movie is a 'Wrong Turn' clone which also embraces as well as makes fun of teenage-camping-slasher cliches. I wonder which horrifies the audience more? The idea of being forced to give up cellphones for a week or being stalked by a monster in the woods? Of course there's always the nerd that knows about all the rules of slashers, but it won't help him much. Even the slasher-origins angle which is sci-fi, is taken from classic outer space monster b-movies. There's only one scene that could be called over-the-top splatter in the first movie, but it's the second movie that ups and ante. Like the Wrong Turn sequels, it turns to more comedy, and ups the splatter factor witch bodies being ripped apart and smashed regularly, but it also provides a new angle, this time from the point of view of the monsters. Except, of course, monsters have to follow slasher rules as well, or do they? There's an annoying trendy streak of diversity and acceptance in these movies, but the second movie makes it funny. Mildly fun.

No Solicitors  
Well, the acting is bad and it looks like a porno, but this one is going for campy gory laughs in the vein of H.G. Lewis. It doesn't quite capture the right tone, but it's mildly entertaining silliness mixed with nastiness. It's about a happy-go-lucky family that runs a body-part-harvesting business on the side, and who just happen to be cannibals as well, for the pleasures of the palate. So they regularly drug and tie up solicitors, and use every body part they can for either money or food. Misbehaving human cattle are punished with nasty torture. Cue the gory surgery, cringe-worthy preparation of body parts, including eyeball-snacks and finger-licking treats, and random brutal torture for fun.

Officer Downe  
Grindhouse headache based on a graphic novel about a super-cop that cannot die, directed by a member of Slipknot as if it were a music video. There's a fun b-movie here at the core, with lots of carnage, about a world full of insane cartoonish villains, some of them megalomaniac nuns or sporting animal heads, and a cop with a sense of justice in overdrive mode constantly brought back to life in order to blow apart more crazy criminals. Some kills involve geysers of blood and exploding heads though it's only sporadically splattery. Although the plotting and some of the supporting actors are weak, Coates as Downe is good. But it's really the very annoying and choppy rapid editing and constantly moving camera work that ruin this b-movie.

Open 24/7  
French triptych anthology of horror shorts. The wrapper is about a simple roadside eatery where it's so boring that the waitress is pressured into telling macabre tales to entertain the patrons. Lloyd Kaufman makes an appearance here somehow in French, expanding his whoreish and silly cameo repertoire. The first tale is the gory one about cannibal lesbians. They carve up men's bodies in gory detail, except that there's one angry cop out for revenge whom she graphically castrated in the bathroom. The cannibalism is the least problematic part of their relationship though, with a dominant power struggle that turns nasty during a sex scene. The second mixes looney-tunes humor, puppets and a fairy tale about an ogress who eats children to stay young, until she meets a child that may be more than she can handle. The third is the grim, trashy and nasty one involving a German farmer who sexually abuses his chickens as well as his daughters, until they escape to seek out a banal Broadway-esque musical in the city, except they have to go through a horny priest to get to it. Black humor, gore, unusual characters and trashy nastiness combine.

Paura Il Diavolo  
Half-length very cheap home-made British tribute to Argento and gore films. It shows a bit of competence for fans of these kinds of home-made horror movies. It's about a young man who finds an evil in his backyard, causing a violent demon to take over and kill all his friends. There is some home-made splatter from back-yard violent fights, home-made evil laser and mask, and not much lighting. From the maker of Sudden Fury.

Although not quite as entertaining as Zombie Strippers, this one definitely belongs in the same category. It uses the Dusk 'til Dawn template of a very bad night at a strip joint, except the ultra-violent zombies are transformed by a strange oil, leading to lots of erupting goo. There's a tough and really fit woman leading the joint on her last night, a variety of strippers with really sleazy acts designed more for porn-addict fratboy shenanigans rather than for erotica, and a slew of obnoxious customers and quirky bouncers. As you can imagine, most of the movie is merely about the night-long campy interactions between the characters, the violent battles and splattery deaths as the infection spreads. The gore is borderline over-the-top and quite varied. Designed for a specific audience, obviously, and is only minimally competent with its entertainment.

Plaga Zombie  
Argentinian no-budget splatter comedy about aliens infecting the human race with a zombie virus that causes mayhem and buckets of gore. That's just the introduction though as most of the movie simply has three teenagers battling it out with the undead in very silly ways (splatstick, as Peter Jackson calls it). The non-stop gore is mostly of the multicolored paint and red porridge kind which detracts from the movie, but there are some good bits and the fights are inventive and tasteless fun, albeit silly. Watch it expecting a weak student movie in love with Jackson's Braindead, and you may enjoy it.

Plaga Zombie: Mutant Zone  
A more creative follow-up brings back the three zombie warriors, dropped by the government in a zombie-infested zone with hints of strange conspiracies and alien activity. At the beginning of the movie they successfully reproduce Peter Jackson's fun splatstick atmosphere with silly over-the-top fights and gory mayhem as bodies are torn apart and decapitated in various ways, intestines used as weapons and eyeballs played with. But then it takes a bizarre turn into wrestler worship, and a cartoonishly dramatic rivalry and jealousy develops between the fighters as all hell breaks loose around them. Messy, but fun.

Plaga Zombie 3  
The third entry in this low-budget Argentinian splatstick trilogy features a similar blend of broad silliness, splatter-comedy and spoofing comedy. It was filmed ten years after the last one, but continues where it left off, and even a surprise change in the cast is handled as part of the strange and silly plot-line. By this time, the multi-colored zombie apocalypse turns out to be a body-snatching alien invasion, so the makers of this film turn to Peter Jackson's Bad Taste for inspiration this time. Most of the over-the-top splatter is contained in the beginning and end of the film, and features lots of energetic tearing apart of zombie bodies with bare hands, as well as a zombie-alien used as a battering ram. The rest of the movie wanders off to spoofing of action cliches as the three warriors split off to execute a plan to save the whole of humanity, and find themselves in an existential crisis. One loses his fighting powers, the other battles with a nemesis rogue FBI agent, and the other befriends and loves a pet zombie. It crosses the border from silly to overly silly at times, but it's still kinda fun.

Porkchop 3D  
This third entry in a trilogy of low-budget slasher comedies ups the gore and keeps the campy silly fun. Survivor characters from previous movies, including a horny robot, come back to the woods where an unstoppable pig-headed killer is on the hunt again. Except this time they are joined by several other groups of people (AKA fodder). There are some horny dorks who's one wish is to find some lonely horny girls in the woods (you'll never guess what happens), survivors that want to either document or kill Porkchop, accompanied by the evil wise-cracking horny robot, goofy bounty-hunters, local rednecks, random campers, etc. In previous movies, the splatter was limited to one or two scenes and the rest is more typical slasher-level violence. In this case, there is splattery chainsaw death, splattery ripping apart of faces and heads, a drill to the head, and so on. But the star of the movie is the amusing banter, silly characters and entertaining camp humor. All three movies are a moderately fun way to kill some time.

Possessed (Pos eso)  
Muppet-gore and animation-gore has been done before, but what about claymation-splatter? This movie feels like Alex de la Iglesia horror-muscle with a black sense of humor and a mean-streak, combined with the comedy of Aardman studios. And this should come as no surprise as it features Santiago Segura, and is made by a Spaniard who worked for Aardman, only it seems that he vented all of his frustration with Aardman light-fluffy-cuteness here. The story is about a demonic son of a famous female flamenco dancer and male matador, and the fallen priest who is called to exorcise the boy. If that brings to mind a few classic movies, then you don't know the half of it. This movie's structure is basically a sequence of spoofs and references to dozens of movies, from Indiana Jones, to Exorcist, Omen, Stepfather, Gremlins, Hellraiser, Alien, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Frankenstein, etc. There is very entertaining trashy and mean streak throughout, featuring things like (clay) bodies being ripped apart, sliced and crushed in very gory ways, eyeballs are not just plucked but impaled with other body parts, dogs are not just impaled but also have their poop crushed out of them, there is a parade of nasty prostitutes, humiliation of a priest, naked grandmas, etc. The superb claymation is lovingly detailed. How you feel about this movie will depend on what you think of its random structure of silly spoofs, but it's definitely highly entertaining and well done.

Project: Valkyrie  
Micro-budget campy horror-comedy fun done right for a change. It has flaws, and some scenes could have used heavy editing, but as long as you aren't expecting anything great, this is a really fun way to pass 80 minutes. Some dude heavily in debt finds a robot warrior left to him by his grandfather, but also unleashes a liquid virus that turns people into killer cybermen. When a group of Neo-Nazis get a hold of the virus, things get out of hand. Jim, his robot, and a Nazi's sister team up to fight the evil. Besides the fact that this movie has Nazi zombie-like monsters and a cheesy robot, it's all about the laid-back and funny attitude. Jim's quips when a loan shark or girl is beating the hell out of him are funny; he teaches the robot a children's game, has fun with a chainsaw, and so on. The splatter is right on the border, but there are at least two scenes of over-the-top chainsaw-splatstick mayhem. Light fun.

Well-made home-made 50 minute movie by R.F. Pangborn with enough material that could be expanded to a full-length, but it probably works better like this. A dead ex-soldier has been recruited by a strangely blood-thirsty child-angel-demon as a hit-man for the underworld. When a jar with super-powers is found, it causes chaos amongst the ranks. He uses a serrated machete to stab and slice his targets, with a couple of over-the-top splatter kills that would go well in a Peter Jackson movie. There are also stylized fight scenes between the soldier and some Christian warriors or other employees of the child-demon, and the movie focuses heavily on the rhythmic soundtrack, B&W cinematography and editing tricks.

Rage, The  
A mad scientist out for revenge creates a confused rage virus that seems to be able to do everything: Mutate, bring back the dead, cause monstrous physical mutations, spread through blood, saliva and vomit to any species on the planet, and cause both uncontrollable rage and controllable near-immortality and power. Enter a group of horny teenagers in the woods (sigh) that have to fight furious zombies, super-buzzards, deadly leeches, a crazed scientist, and a silly pervert midget that appears out of nowhere. The splatter effects are over-the-top and very good, the energy of the movie is ferocious, lending some horrific moments, but this is all undone by weak writing, poor acting by the teenagers and terrible CGI effects for the fake-looking buzzards.

[REC]³: Genesis  
The superb first entry was one of the only found-footage horror films I liked with a very dark, gritty, mysterious and realistic feel. The second seemed to be more of the same but had too many flaws including a tiresomely contrived use of multiple cameras, sloppy supernatural writing and a very unprofessional SWAT team. Then the two directors split, and one of them branched off to make this one, which has severe issues with its tone. The first 20 minutes is just painfully dull wedding footage that is hard to get through. I practically cheered when they smashed the hand-held camera, and the movie showed some balls by switching to regular cinematography and ditching the obviously worn-out gimmick. Then it suddenly turns into a pretty entertaining zombie movie that takes place at a wedding with several colorful characters, giving it a fresh setting. It becomes a good horror-comedy with an unforgettable lead actress as the bride, with some entertaining over-the-top splatstick gore for 10 minutes, and then it suddenly veers to melodramatic horror. The writing is also saddled with the messy religious plot devices from the second installment. So the main issue is not that it turned the series to comedy, but that it is pulling in several inconsistent directions. In the end, it's too funny to be horrifying, and too sad to be funny, and that's only if you can take the horrible wedding-music soundtrack and the first 20 minutes. Which is a pity since there is much to like here, especially the spunky petite bride, and a zombie apocalypse at a wedding.

Red Christmas  
The Aussies can definitely make an intense and unusual slasher when they want to. Despite the title, this is not about a killer Santa. It does have a theme of abortion, however. A family get-together threatens to go off the rails with frequent bouts of drama, but this is nothing compared to what happens when a hooded religious freak comes to the gathering to read out a letter. The killer's behaviour is unusually emotional for a slasher, and the matriarch of the family lends a particularly intense hysterical performance, two factors adding to the disturbing element in this movie. The other factor is the particularly nasty aspects of the kills. Two over-the-top splattery deaths make this is a slightly more gory slasher than the norm, as does some nasty violent things done with blenders and axes.

Red's Breakfast Trilogy/Red's Breakfast Experience    
Three silly splatter shorts by the maker of Die You Zombie Bastards featuring Red, a psychopath serial killer who likes having a girl's guts for breakfast. In the romantic second he finds the perfect wife with similar tastes and they both toast each other's future drinking blood out of their friend's leg stumps. The third is a short version of Die You Zombie Bastards. Low-budget silly violence and gore in the vein of Troma, and in Red's Breakfast Experience these three are wrapped in a making-of documentary telling how big a splash and controversy these movies made while the actors talk about their great cinematic experiences, all with tongues planted firmly in cheek.

Red Velvet  
This is a movie that dances between several genres that seem like they should never go together. There's the slasher horror movie, an anthology horror movie with a wrapper story, horror comedy, a romantic comedy of the sociopathic sort, and finally, some reality-bending pseudo-surreal twists. A young man and woman meet in a laundromat and it's hate at first sight. Except they can't get enough of each other. Once he starts telling gruesome tales of murders however, things really start to heat up. Their negative chemistry is the best thing about the movie, that and their dialogue, dripping with both hate and attraction. The slasher aspect features two very over-the-top splattery deaths, and most of the rest is a slasher spoof. The several twists are completely nonsensical however, unless taken as surreal playfulness on the topic of horror stories and hate.

Requiem for the Devil  
More obscure German underground splatter, except this one has a Fulci vibe going for it with some horror atmosphere. The plot is simple, and, as usual with most German splatter, is just there in order to get to the gooey gory stuff: A man discovers his wife is cheating and kills her and her lover, who promptly come back as the vengeful undead to torture and kill their killer, only he isn't going down without a fight. There's a wide variety of relatively watchable gore for a home-made movie, including dismembering, face ripping, nasty poisons and razor blades in pasta sauce, and, of course, Fulci's favorite: eyeball violence. By Jan/Jens Reiff.

By the makers of Monsturd, this follow-up not-quite-sequel is a significant improvement. Dr Stern (Helloween's Dr Stein?) from Monsturd is up to a new experiment, this time inflicted on 'special' people in an attempt to make them super smart. Side effects include death and eating of other people. In the meantime, the local police are on the trail of a pervert who stares at women and masturbates in public while taunting the police, but this concern is soon overwhelmed by an outbreak of zombies. The humor is campy and juvenile but amusing and entertaining, there is a bizarre scene involving an attack of six babe-zombies, some amusing fake super-cheesy horror movie trailers, an appropriate introduction by H.G. Lewis, a gratuitous visit to the porn shop and a random LSD trip, and a ton of splatter involving intestine-eating and ripping apart of bodies. This one is at the level of a good Troma movie.

Rooms for Tourists  
Argentinian slasher movie with a twist that gets pretty good mileage from its obvious tiny-budget. A few young girls find themselves stranded in a mysterious overly-religious small town on their way to a big city. It's the usual back-woods slasher horror for most of the movie with a few notable exceptions: The girls aren't just fodder and they fight back often, raising the intensity. It's filmed in claustrophobic close camera-work which is both a weakness and a strength. The killer and his motive are unusually elusive. And there's a twist, that's more of a reveal of the motivations rather than a plot twist. And finally, the gore is unusually gruesome and brutal for a slasher, with close-ups of the ruthless slicing of flesh like meat at a butcher. It's not a great movie by any means, but it's watchable for a slasher.

Sadness, The  
This is like the child version of I Spit on Your Grave with gory violence and revenge instead of rape and revenge. For the first hour, the poor kid is shown being emotionally abused by her drug-addict parents and merciless bullies at school, then sold to Satanists for ritual sacrifice via drug-dealers. The second half features her methodical, gory and supernatural revenge on everyone in the movie, with some scenes involving graphic splatter of cutting bodies in half, eyeball drilling, disemboweling, injection of bleach and more. The soundtrack is appropriately pounding metal, the cinematography is well done, and the acting ranges from passable to good. Morally questionable, despite the tricky editing work done to keep the child away from the worst, and it does go on for too long, but it is still pretty good grindhouse horror.

Sadness, The (2021)  
Taiwanese ultra-violent splatterfest that introduces a new type of virus: People's most sadistic, violent and horny basic drives are boosted and set free. It is unclear how it spreads, but it seems to spread easily. This movie excels in portraying the chaos and tension in extremely violent situations as regular people are overwhelmed by an outbreak of gruesome whims in which the infected indulge, including slow splattery deaths just for fun, and rape of the most twisted kind, literally penetrating anything. The splatter is extreme, over-the-top, gruesome and very well done. It's not about imaginative outrageous deaths, but about the gleeful and malicious ways random people just grab anything within reach and slash, melt, smash, slice and rape anyone they meet while spouting horny and sadistic whims. Unfortunately, the plot is barebones and just consists of a few people trying to survive, and the non-ending is dark and depressing in a lazy way.

Samhain (AKA Evil Breed)  
A movie fighting to be released by a hard-working producer who obviously put in a lot of effort to gather ingredients for an entertaining horror salad. The story is unoriginal and involves yet more teenagers in trouble, this time in Ireland facing an ancient evil in the woods that likes eating gore... I mean human flesh. Famous porn stars show their organs, both inside and out, the splatter is way over-the-top including a nasty scene involving a man's intestines pulled out through his anus, and a priceless scene where a porn star's silicon confuses the cannibal creature's palate. The creature effects are disturbing and well done as well. Dumb, but delivers as a party splatter horror movie.

Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf  
A retro Samurai/Western hybrid with elements of exploitation and splatter. A blind warrior is on a mission of revenge to kill the brutal man that killed his family, but along the way he has to confront a wide variety of henchmen, assassins, witches, zombies, and wandering warriors. Think of the Baby Cart series, with modern anachronisms, gratuitous nudity and skimpy girls that look like they came out of a porno, made in the US by a Japanese director with mixed Japanese/American actors. It's uneven, with some scenes reproducing the atmosphere of honor and ultra-violence, except there is always an element of camp. The narrator explains Samurai techniques and traditions during the fight, which gets a bit tiresome after a while, but this movie looks great and is pretty good fun for fans of the genre, as long as you aren't expecting anything more than a campy homage. The kills are over-the-top and bloody with graphic disemboweling, slicing, dismembering and a tricky maneuver with an unborn baby.

Satan's Slave  
Relatively gory and cruel British Satanic horror movie from the 70s. A girl with premonitions visits her strange uncle at his mansion housing an evil cousin who has plans for her. The dark magic and uncompromising Satanic attitudes emerge to manipulate her while people around her get killed in freak accidents or by sudden vicious murders. Features a graphic stabbing of an eyeball, a gory suicide, many rituals with naked women that was par for the course in the Satanic 70s, and a nifty double plot twist. An effective movie.

It starts as a derivative backwoods cannibal horror movie, with horny teens, a party, and a wrong turn. Then the movie slows down and takes its time to build the characters and tension as the young men find themselves in the middle of nowhere stuck in a snowstorm, and this is by far the best part of the movie and takes place in a great location. Unfortunately, when the horror starts again, it's like the film-makers lost control and didn't have the story fixed in their minds anymore, leading to a completely half-baked and weirdly sudden ending. There's cannibalism, and they gleefully make this graphic and gooey, trying to gross out its audience which is the wrong tone after the building setup, there's random torture which is completely gratuitous for hungry hunters, as well as a 'Most Dangerous Game' hunt that feels tacked on for no reason. In short, this horror movie is mostly about the setup with a weak, albeit gruesome, payoff.

Scare Package  
More like a series of sketches having fun with horror cliches and meta-horror tropes rather than a horror anthology. But, in any case, this features seven shorts with over-the-top old-school splatter. It starts strongly with very good comedy, but loses steam, becomes pretty random, weak and repetitive. Overall, it's moderately fun. There are several slasher shorts, one where they keep trying to kill an immortal killer with increasingly violent results, and another where scientists study the weird science of slasher rules. There's a human-beast that gets stuck during a transformation with hilarious awkwardness. A strange evil lollipop and some hungry girls, a silly story with werewolves, and the wrapper about a horror rental store owner. The splatter is extreme and fun, but the shorts vary in entertainment value.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse  
Teenage sex comedy spliced with Zombieland. The gimmick here is that the heroes are overgrown scouts that are starting to shift their focus from building tents and tying knots, to girls. When the zombie apocalypse breaks out, who will Be Prepared? The partying jocks and popular girls, or the scouts? Ash from Evil Dead has nothing on these scouts, as they weaponize with anything and everything they can find, to explode, slice and smash every zombie head they can find. Although the humor is juvenile and involves (zombie) breasts, (male) buttocks and (zombie) penises, it is quite creative and fun throughout the whole movie. There are many amusing and creative scenes, gags and props including things like a trampoline, a clueless janitor in a laboratory, a horde of zombie cats, breaking in and out of jail, zombie deer, zombie strippers, and Dolly Parton. The gore is scattered nicely throughout, though most of the over-the-top splatter is at the party climax. Lighter fun relative to the nastier Night of Something Strange, albeit kinda silly in a teenage way.

See No Evil  
Hungarian no-budget home-made campy horror by a couple of horror fans. Two assassins are hired to kill some girl, who just happens to be related to some cannibalistic serial killer who keeps a collection of gory body parts and zombies in his house. It's all very silly, complete with dumb dialogue, nonsensical plot, and cartoonish sound effects of cheering and farts, but the movie is what it is and they just have fun with it. The splatter involving a gore smorgasbord, slashings and goofy gut-munching, is limited to a couple of scenes only.

Sex, Lies and Video-Violence  
A silly but funny and very entertaining Swedish movie dealing with the effect of movie violence on people. A man who loves violent movies starts having hallucinations where characters from movies enter the real world and starts attacking him and his friends. He soon learns to fight back though in a glorious rampage of violence and gore. This soon becomes a name-the-movie-fest with characters and scenes popping up from Die Hard, Robocop, Alien, Clockwork Orange, a Peter Jackson splatter scene, Thriller (of course), etc. and various cameos from Swedish actors and Mel Brooks. The gore is sparse but over-the-top and fun.

Sexy Killer  
Nobody does the black comedy and horror/comedy hybrid quite like the Spanish. This one takes the approach of throwing in everything and the kitchen sink, except it loses itself in the process and is a movie of many parts, some of which you may enjoy more than the others. There's a parody of serial-killer slashers, except in this one it's an angry dark female version of a barbie-human who dresses in pink and black, kills women without ruining their dresses, breaks out in song, and chainsaws your limbs off if you look at her the wrong way. This section contains references to Scream and other movies, and it's a hoot, especially with her latest love life based on an amusing misunderstanding. Then suddenly it borrows ideas from sci-fi/horror movies like Lawnmower Man, Strange Days, and Re-Animator, and swerves to become a zombie movie, with a blackly comic ending. The gore is borderline and mostly tame, but some of the scenes are gleefully and comically splattery, including some autopsy scenes, beheadings, zombie carnage, and an ending that is extremely lite homage to Peter Jackson. A mess, but definitely entertaining.

Shadow: Dead Riot  
Inspired by Ricky-Oh, blending horror, zombies, prison violence and the women in prison exploitation genres, one would think this would be at least highly entertaining camp. But it barely passes the mark with silly horror, borderline splatter, and not enough titillation. The fight scenes are surprisingly choreographed, bringing to mind a weak Hong-Kong flick, the gore may be uncreative but is incessant, and there's always the flying gore-munching baby a la Braindead to fall back on.

Sheborg Massacre  
One can't really criticize a movie that is going for dumb cheesy exploitation fun. Except that this could have been a whole lot more fun if it weren't so soft and goofy in its execution. A wannabe anarchy-girl Dylan encounters a rogue alien cyborg/sheborg that thrives on chaos. Humans are playthings and food to her, but she doesn't know what Dylan is capable of. When the cyborg infects the human race including her evil father, that's a minor problem, but when she starts eating puppies in a puppy farm, that's the last straw. The constant girl-power fighting and action here are never believable, lacks timing and punch, and the cyborgs are goofy and useless instead of bad-ass. Even the music is a soft, pop version of punk. But the splattery massacre at the puppy farm has some entertaining merit. There is lots of green goo and melting flesh, some spaghetti-gore and cyborg craziness, but this is no Nishimura flick. Dumb and silly, but mild fun if you're in the mood for cheese.

She Kills  
Over-the-top, very silly parody of 70s grindhouse movies, especially rape/revenge movies, roughies, kung-fu, gangsploitation, and They Call Her One-Eye. A gang led by a guy with a seriously endless mustache, stalk and rape an innocent virgin girl and her dork boyfriend. Little do they know that her genitalia are hiding a dark evil secret that turns them into animals, and turns her into a man-killing machine. The acting is way over-the-top and self-aware, and the dialogue embraces cliches and filthy porn-talk like there is no tomorrow, and many silly scenes go on for too long, making this feel very much like an idiotic Chris Seaver movie. But the parody does have several entertaining amusing moments. Still this could have used much more Naked Gun and much less Seaver to be really funny. The splatter is also extreme in a cartoonish way, most of the carnage involving ridiculously over-the-top genital mutilation in a dozen different ways, or death by genitals in another dozen ways. Throw in a supernatural psychedelic vagina-exorcism, a horny black Jesus, a huge bush, and more exploding penises that you can shake a stick at, and you have one goofy exploitation gorefest.

Silent Night, Zombie Night  
A surprisingly well done low-budget little zombie drama. The reason I enjoyed it is probably the same reason why so many hated it: It focuses on the characters and the drama, and uses a zombie outbreak crisis to propel the drama. There is even a nice balance of light humor. Most of the splatter-gore zombie killings are in the first part of the film, and the final crisis has more to do with character development than action, which just goes to prove where this film placed the focus, correctly. Two police-men partners and the woman they both love are about to have a crisis and breakup of some sort, when a zombie outbreak takes over L.A. and they find themselves locked in together and under siege. The characters are well written and three-dimensional, and the character development is strong. That is not to say that this doesn't have zombie survival thrills and action. It's only a little movie and nothing you'd write home about, but it's an enjoyable one.

Silo Killer 2: The Wrath of Kyle  
Killing is fun. Fun fun fun. This silly redneck-Western-zombie-slasher-whatever movie has fun with zombies, a 'silo killer' slasher who is some guy in a bearded mask with an axe, bounty hunters, a silly foul-mouthed politician, a 'White Knight Ninja of Sorts' in training, and a host of other characters that are just having fun, but mostly they're all there to serve as targets for fun killings. The 'retarded-cousin' is indestructible as well as a retard, so killing him is double the fun, and then he comes back for more. Postmen or random passers-by say something a touch annoying so they are shot, zombies are fun to decapitate, and when they run out of bodies, why not just bring in the devil dressed up as Darth Maul to have a light-saber fight with the ninja? Sure, why not. The actors are having fun with all the silliness without acting retarded, and that's a big plus. The unimaginative gore is just the same three excessively bloody effects repeated many dozens of times: bullet squibs, axe-blood-geysers, and decapitations.

Simon Says  
I'd pair this together with Wrong Turn 2. This is a by-the-numbers slasher that focuses on just having over-the-top campy, gory fun. The same old group of very annoying oversexed teenagers take their time setting up in a camping site in a forest before the local bizarre hillbilly psychopath arrives and starts carving them up one by one with dozens of pickaxes and very sophisticated booby traps. The traps include a spinning log covered in pickaxes, and huge gun contraptions that fire pickaxes, there's one very gory squashed dog under a boot, a human head converted into a CD player, and there's even death by huge spliff. The gore doesn't linger, but the deaths and fight scenes are ridiculously over-the-top and relentless. The number one reason to watch this however, is Crispin Glover in a dual role of frighteningly oddball serial killer, who is let loose by the directors to perform one of his most grippingly bizarre performances yet. And that's saying a lot.

Skinned Alive  
An attempt at Bad Taste by way of Mother's Day. I.e. trashy and goofy slapstick splatter. Unfortunately it gets too dumb but the silly middle is bookended by some entertaining over-the-top gore. A trio of trashy mother, inept brother and violent sister run around skinning people for their leather... I mean skin. When they run across an ex-cop with an abusive ex-wife, his temper flares and the blood flies. Features skinning, slicing, blowing apart by machine gun, disemboweling and more. Gory entertainment for when you're bored.

Another reality TV spoof that is a B-movie blend of Running Man and Scream. Volunteering contestants are sent into the zone where slashers are on the prowl and camera men follow the bloody action. Can the contestants trust each other while they run for their lives and for the chance to win millions of dollars? As with Scream, this is a self-aware movie that makes fun of slasher movie cliches while still being a slasher movie. The gore isn't prevalent but when it's there, it's over the top. Below average acting and unrealistic characters, but a somewhat entertaining B-movie nevertheless.

Slaughter Day  
Home-made action-horror splatter movie made in 1991 and re-released in all its rough, warped and grainy VHS glory 30 years later. It's inspired by Evil Dead (what isn't?), but it's so low-budget, the Necronomicon is an art-book from the bookstore, and it features a demonic gas-mask. They even left in a scene with the director yelling instructions as part of the movie. Basically, some bad dude messes with the Necronomicon one time too many, unleashing evil and converting minions, causing violent over-the-top splattery chaos. It's a terrible movie, with typical home-made amateur-hour problems such as bad sound and terrible editing and timing, not to mention the acting and choreography, but there is no shortage of energy here, with one action, fight or splatter scene after another, each more ambitious than the next, doing its best to pull it off despite the pocket-change budget. The success rate is hit-n-miss, but the gusto and can-do attitude especially with some of the stunts and splatter effects may just win you over. There are some stunts on a car and boat, and hanging over a railing in a factory, a nifty bending of a body into a book, and all sorts of splattery dismembering. The pacing is so fast, you'll wish for some back-story and explanations though. Strictly for fans of cult home-made SOV movies only.

Slaughter Tales  
I often describe low-budget films as 'home-made', but this one is as visibly home-made as it can get. It's a labor of love by a 14-year-old, a homage to VHS horror. A young dude steals a crappy VHS tape from a garage sale and watches one crappy horror short after another, which slowly seeps into his own reality turning his life into a crappy horror movie. The acting is atrocious but campy fun, the 'splatter' effects are very visibly clay, ketchup and porridge, the location is the same couple of houses, living room and kitchen over and over, and the story is non-existent for most of the movies and it's merely about various supernatural killers, demons or body-horrors that pop-up out of nowhere so this kid can film himself in clay-splatter situations. There is some surprisingly nifty stop-motion animation as one guy gets possessed and his internal body parts start crawling around. It's terrible by any standards, but I can't being myself to hate this as it is so endearingly goofy and fun. Much of the dialogue is actually funny, and his constant self-deprecating humor greatly helps, as he provides brutal commentary and criticism to his own crappy short movies. Fun crap.

Slices of Life  
One of the benefits of anthologies is that if you don't like something, it's usually over quickly and you look forward to the next one. This is a poor one with some good entertaining moments and ideas, but with a very amateurish execution and bad acting. It also features Tales-of-the-Crypt type of ironic/moralistic twists. The wrapper tale, as usual, feels thrown in as an afterthought about a girl with no memory who reads ghoulish stories in books that come alive. The first is a very unrealistic and badly written story of a friendless geek who gets his hands on nano-technology that allows him to control other people's desires via e-mail. The virus gets out of hand in seconds as his office turns into a chaotic place full of mutating lustful self-mutilating creatures. The second is a ghost story with bad CGI effects and a predictable twist. The third is the goriest and best one with sexual horror involving a parasite and an incestuous rapist uncle. The deaths are gory, but the splatter only really goes over-the-top for the last one.

Slime City  
Goofy green goo movie about a guy who moves into an old apartment with a dark secret. After eating some 'Himalayan Yogurt' and some unnamed green liquid at the punk neighbour's house and getting seduced by the vampiric overly-friendly girl next-door, his body starts sweating goo and porridge and he gets urges to kill people. His friends worry about him but he starts liking some of the changes when his stomach bites off a muggers arm. The climax features most of the gore, with dismembering and a crawling brain.

Slime City Massacre  
What does a cult of the flesh and a post-apocalyptic slum-city have in common? Why, Himalayan Yogurt of course. This b-movie sequel comes 20 years after the first, and is just as a fun. More back-story is added behind the mysterious elixir and yogurt and it's flesh-defying gooey powers, but the main story involves four survivors trying to find food in a ruined complex, and turning into gooey killers that use their flesh in surprising ways. Cronenberg should go green with envy, the green gooey kind. It's more about the goo and slime than about the actual gore, but there is some splatter as well, including a toothy-body-vagina, as well as lots of sex with goo.

One assumes that a creature-feature about killer slugs would be a ridiculous idea. And this movie indeed goes to ridiculous lengths to make slugs nasty, horrifying and dangerous. One would also never expect a slut-movie to be gory, and yet it is a splatter-fest. In short, this is a cult classic creature-feature. It uses the genre template of small town, gradually increasing vicious attacks, a mayor in denial, and a desperate scientist trying to stop the catastrophe from growing. The slugs bite, borrow into bodies, infect people with worms and even eat horny teenagers, all resulting in slimy, gooey, exploding blood-fountains of chewed up and melted humans. Ridiculous, yes, but respectably horrifying nevertheless.

Smash Cut  
A pretty good homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis featuring the man himself as the presenter. The story is about a b-movie, gore and horror director that breaks after being harshly put down by his audience, and starts creating more realistic gore movies in the only way he can imagine: By creating his own real dead bodies and body parts out of the people he knows and dislikes. The campy, cheap, silly but entertaining feel of the movie is almost just right, the gore at first is surprisingly lacking, but delivers some cheap and over-the-top scenes in the second-half featuring dismembering and eye-gouging.

Special Dead  
A zombie comedy that takes place in a camp for the mentally handicapped seems overdue. This ones rises to the ... challenge. Unfortunately, its only partially fun, and the rest is poorly done. The actors in the role of the handicapped are not the most convincing and their fake antics and dialogue soon become tiresome, although they do manage a few politically-incorrect laughs. There's a black guy from the hood that somehow finds himself in the camp and he gets the most laughs as he tries to handle both the undead and the special white people, as he tries to make his way back to the city. Two super-hot girls provide eye-candy as well as a funny zombie cat-fight. The owners of the camp are seasoned zombie hunters, one of them a silly hunk-character that kicks ass and has girls fighting for him, even the dead ones. The gore is mostly average for a zombie movie for most of the running time, featuring many endless beatings, and one zombie is dispatched by a special person with super-glue. Towards the end it becomes an over-the-top splatter-fest, except it's too dark and grainy to see.

Now this is more like it. I hate slasher movies, and there are so many of them, it has become like the porno genre where points are given to the creativity and juiciness of the killer, and the creativity and gratuitousness of the gore, but otherwise the plot is always the same. This one takes this idea and runs with it to an extreme, and just has fun with it. A clown is killed at a children's birthday party in a seriously demented slapstick accident. The kids grow up with issues, but little do they know that the clown belonged to a clown cult that can store clown souls in eggs. When the teenage kids throw another party, the clown comes back for revenge. This is all about the one-liners, and detailed, gleeful over-the-top, creative old-school splatter. Included are things like dismembered genitals floating on balloons, and balloon animals with intestines. It's fun and gruesome at the same time, it's just a pity it's the slasher-killing-teenagers format and that the humor is sadistic rather than witty or splatstick.

Low-budget silly exploitation spoof on Zombieland, with references to a couple of zombie movies like Dawn/Day of the Dead. Zombies are replaced with zombie strippers; as in, women all over (only young nubile ones of course) turn into strippers that eat human flesh, leading to all kinds of silly, amusing jokes on gender relationships and misogyny. There's a rule-book on strippers instead of on zombies, and pimps, rappers and dance-music have now become special. The splatter is over-the-top zombie gore, with one chainsaw-massacre-scene that used up buckets, except that a lot of it is poor computer-effects. Some of this is entertaining, some is dumb fun, the rest is just dumb. A bad movie, but if your standards are Troma-low, you should find it amusing.

Studio 666  
This feels like one of those fun, heavy-metal horror b-movies from the 80s and 90s, except it features all of the band members of Foo Fighters as themselves. acting out a story by Dave Grohl. This may sound like a vanity project or a movie for fans, but I am not a Foo Fighters fan and still enjoyed it for what it is. It won't get any awards for originality or acting, but it's just solid 80s-style horror-comedy entertainment to pass the time with. The Foo Fighters are sent to a mysterious mansion to record their new album, but Grohl starts acting strangely and getting obsessed with finishing an endless evil song (that sounds suspiciously like Black Sabbath), while a groupie neighbor and demonic entities keep interrupting. The splatter and over-the-top kill scenes pile up, as does the amusing interaction between the band members. Let's just say that if there was tension between them, this movie either exorcised that or made them split up. I'm just kidding; I'm sure they had a ball making it and it shows.

Sudden Fury  
An indie British Reservoir Dogs that ups the ante where gore is concerned but unfortunately lacks in thespian skills and storyline. Violent (teenage) criminal gangs and individuals are at each other throats over stolen drugs, with double-crossings flying in all directions. This is the whole plot, which basically is enough of an excuse to show endless bloody shootings, violence, and some surprisingly gory scenes of disembowelment, throat slashing, neck sawing and face burning. Borderline splatter.

Mostly a terrible movie on many levels, but I enjoyed some of the old-school character comedy nevertheless. It's a cheap movie about a (cheaply made) flying head that chews its way though everyone it meets. There is the usual group of horny camping teens, as well as one mentally challenged brother that hasn't gotten over the anal phase. Unfortunately, for most of the beginning it feels like the movie is more preoccupied with juvenile feces humor than with gore and horror. And the acting is terrible. And the lighting is even worse. But the rough retro feel of the movie and the amusingly written characters make it feel like an 80s VHS horror. The borderline gore includes lots of (darkly lit) splattery chewing, and some intestines.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street  
Tim Burton's musical based on a notoriously bloody Broadway musical. Todd is a barber that has come back for revenge, full of misanthropic views after a decade of imprisonment, who sets up shop over a notoriously nasty pie-shop, and uses his trade to kill anyone he can get his hands on. But he is especially interested in the local judge who ruined his life and stole his daughter. Although this is a mainstream movie and a musical, it is notoriously gory and dark, especially because it is a musical. There are only a couple of gleefully excessive throat-slitting scenes with voluminous arterial sprays, but there are also lots of other bloody murders, violent abuse of corpses and cannibalism, and a general misanthropic attitude, which makes this the goriest musical along with 'Cannibal!'.

Switchblade Romance (Haute Tension)  
As someone who despises practically every slasher movie out there, I was very surprised when this started off as a superb slasher. Two female friends spend the weekend in the country with the family when an intelligent, thorough and brutal psychopath starts massacring them all. The tension is exquisite and relentless a la Panic Room, the gore is gleefully excessive even featuring sex with a severed head, the acting and direction intense. But all this is undermined by yet another idiotic twist ending.

Tales of Halloween  
All-star horror anthology with a blackly humorous and ironic tone very reminiscent of Tales from the Crypt. Of the ten tales, 'Friday the 31st' by Mendez is the splatter short, except it's a silly and fun spoof on Jason and what happens when he encounters a tiny alien that wants its treat. The rest don't focus on the gore, except for perhaps 'Sweet Tooth' with its gory finale. Lucky McKee's 'Ding Dong' is a weird, silly and campy one, featuring another disturbed woman (McKee's trademark), who turns into a witch with many arms when she gets emotional over kids. 'The Ransom of Rusty Rex' is the best one, featuring some kidnappers that kidnap the wrong kid, followed by the wildly fun 'The Night Billy Raised Hell' by Bousman about a kid that tricks the wrong neighbour. The rest are average and uninspired but still mildly fun material, dealing with urban legends, jump scares, vengeful kids, killer pumpkins and Halloween parties gone bad.

Tammy and the T-Rex  
This cheesy bit of fun with a pre-fame Denise Richards was released as a sci-fi comedy but actually has a surprising unrated gore-cut. A high-school guy bullied by a rough high-school reject that likes to grab crotches, finds himself in the clutches of a mad scientist. One surprisingly gory brain surgery later, Micheal finds that he has become a dinosaur. Ah, revenge. This film embraces its cheesiness and makes it fun, with scenes of a romantic and horny animatronic dinosaur combined with gory decapitations and disemboweling, and Denise finding new ways to satisfy her boyfriend.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2  
A high-budgeted revisitation and sequel many years later by Hooper himself. The result is a loss of all realism and the original disturbing, horrifying effect replaced by twisted, gory and even humorous and campy entertainment with fancy sets full of Fellini-esque imagery. The story revolves around a relative of one of the original victims psychotically obsessed with finding and killing the murderers with his own chainsaw, and a female radio DJ who overheard a recent chainsaw murder take place and consequentially gets involved. The twisted family is still very much demented in various ways and nastily preoccupied with human slaughter, skin, bone and edible flesh.

In most cases, you can immediately tell whether horror movie-makers are interested in delivering extreme gore and nastiness, or horror, but it's usually not both. Often, people interested in extreme splatter simply lack the subtlety or skill to make something terrifying or to bother with a good plot, and usually the extreme gore and over-the-top savagery detract from the realism of the movie thus undermining the horror. This movie is mostly about the brutal gore and savagery, but also manages to create a really creepy killer character that gets under your skin and who plays with his victims in ways that are unexpected: He often holds back, teases and plays seemingly innocent games, then comes back with increasing and unexpected savagery or depravity that come out of nowhere. These simple factors are what make this movie, even though it has no plot. It also helps greatly that the killer is silent and his makeup alone is enough to give one nightmares. Yes, it's a clown, but a very creepy and savage one. It's also a slasher, and I hate slashers, but it's an effective one relatively for what it is. The first half is disturbingly savage, exploiting slasher cliches to knowingly tease and pull back just when we expect it to do something, then it does things that are even more savage than expected. The deaths are not just stabbings, but endless sadistic splattery screaming face-mutilation stab-fests. And there's a kill with a saw that ranks with the top German splatter movies, except it's deeply disturbing. And then it gets more depraved after that. The rest is just lots of chasing and killing and splattery violence, and the second half even falls in the slasher traps of making the killer seemingly indestructible and the victims much stupider than in the first half. But there you have it. Mostly useless, but effective.

Terror Island Overkill  
From the German director behind the Knochenwald series comes another fun, campy, over-the-top, low-budget, splatter movie. In this case the plot is the ol' human-hunting game from The Most Dangerous Game/Turkey Shoot/Deadly Prey/etc. But the tone is more like Schwarzenegger's Commando as directed by Peter Jackson in his teens. A tough ex-special-forces police-man is kidnapped to an island for sport, an island populated by dozens of wild and wacky mercenaries. To survive, he has to tear his way through all of them, and he has no problem doing so. The keyword in the title is 'overkill', and it won't get any points for realism, but full points for splatter. Everyone gets their heads and various body parts torn or sliced off in geysers of blood, or their whole bodies sliced in half using various weapons and tools. And a wise-crack is not far behind. Entertaining action-splatter.

Stop me if you heard this one: A female drug-addict with a dead brother befriends a gay vampire who loves to chomp penises off complete with testicles. No? This goofy Icelandic gore-comedy features a memorably sad age-old gay vampire, a strange detective who has it in for our down-on-her-luck protagonist, his wife who is a cultist, and a whole lot of blood and wobbly detached genitalia. The extremely odd pair have to battle a cult with end-of-times evil plans, a botched undead person, as well as their weird friendship. Splattery, goofy, somewhat juvenile fun.

13 Eerie  
Canadian medium-budget zombie movie that feels a lot like the many home-made zombie movies since it basically just sets up a scenario where a group of people find themselves in an isolated forest, and then just has them run around for their lives for the duration of the whole movie just so that the film-makers can have fun with special effects. In other words, this one looks good, it is competently acted and directed, has very good special effects, but has nothing in the way of a story or interesting characters. A group of budding forensic scientists are taken to a remote location to be tested on rotting corpses strategically positioned in various isolated areas. Two types of zombies show up: Raging, faster-moving, difficult-to-kill, resourceful undead creatures that feast even on the dead, and the newly-made, slower Romero-esque dumb zombies. Kill scenes take their time and zoom in for some really realistic, rotting, slimy, gurgling, bloody special effects, and many of them are performed gruesomely with whatever tool they find, including pieces of wood and forensic chemicals. The rotting zombies at times feel like a Fulci throwback. A competent movie, but it doesn't make much of an impact.

British teenage slasher black comedy that hits some of the right notes and delivers gory fun for the horror crowd. The plot is a simple one about a bullied fat teenager that comes back from the dead to take revenge. His bullies are a large colorful crowd of nasty jocks, insecure jerks and bitches, all set up for their just desserts, and the movie dispatches them in a variety of gruesome ways with just that little bit of extra splatter to set it apart. Gore includes a squirm-inducing scene of an eyeball that almost popped out, chopped off hands leading to a messy splattery phone call, a cop that finds a 'full condom', and more. An OK movie, good for its intended audience.

Traveler, The  
Low-budget evil flick full of unrealized potential. The script is somewhat interesting, involving a group of people who find themselves stuck in an evil house where they are forced by the devil to make some terrible choices while they are tortured and killed in gruesome, gory ways. But the writing needed some fine-tuning and development and the acting and directing are extremely flat and dull.

Turbo Kid  
By the makers of the superb splatter-short Bagman, after a very long pause, comes a full-length splatter movie that manages to recreate the 80s perfectly. It's a mixture of innocence, cheesy action, warriors and heroes, extreme gore, heavy synth music, robots, a post-apocalyptic world full of freaks and 80s props that we saw so often in the 80s, and lots of BMX bikes. A scavenging teenager tries to survive this post-apocalyptic world after his parents were killed by a brutal self-proclaimed lord of the land, and befriends a strange girl that attaches herself to him, as well as a tough Australian warrior in a hat. There's even a reference to Soylent Green. There are, of course, arena battles with freaky gladiators, as well as fights in the wasteland, and radioactive areas, eccentric friends, as well as robots and space-tech gadgetry that literally makes people explode. People are also dismembered, chopped, sliced, exploded and decapitated, always with geysers of blood and flying body parts (that get in the way of the fight), and they also re-use the umbrella splatter gag from Bagman. The splatter is highly entertaining, but the plot and characters are held back by reproducing the more juvenile 80s b-movies rather than the campy or horror ones, and, mixing splatter with kiddie stuff, although very entertaining, doesn't quite make a classic. A must-see for nostalgists.

2001 Maniacs  
A campy homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis's classic splatter movie featuring good ol' Southern hospitality in the form of ghostly, gore-hungry Southern locals that like to party and celebrate their hate for Northerners with some gruesome sadism. Some passing youths are seduced into joining the festival full of booze and cleavage and find out too late what's in store for them. Campy, over-the-top death scenes ensue with gleeful sadism, wisecracks and creativity, including death by acid, horse-quartering, smashing under a huge bell, impalement and others. Despite the campy, over-the-top sadistic approach however, the actual gore is borderline conventional for modern movies of its kind, with only about two scenes of extreme splatter. Followed by a very lame sequel

Uncle Peckerhead  
This one may not be great, but it is good fun. It's comedy-horror with nice splatter scenes, a light touch, and a weak ending. A pop-punk band on its first tour, chooses to tour with a borrowed van offered by a strange but kind older man. But all is not as it seems. Soon they not only have to deal with exploitative venue owners and obnoxious metalheads, but a very friendly, gentle and useful man-eating monster. The characters are all fun, the amusing splatter is over-the-top, the comedy and story are entertaining. I kept imagining how this would have been done in the 80s or in the hands of an edgier director though, as the touch is relatively light. I enjoyed it though.

Ungovernable Force, The  
One the best Troma movies that Troma didn't make. It's about 'ungovernable' punks, homeless people and the mafia teaming up against fascist police in an anarchic, campy exploitation movie. The acting can often be weak and amateurish, but the anything-goes fun attitude, eager energy and surprisingly large cast involving many colorful characters make up for it. There's x-rated trashy nudity and wanton orgies, gratuitous violence against the homeless and by the homeless, punks trashing things up, and a proper punk soundtrack. There's even one scene of Ken Russell-esque trashy surrealism involving lots of goo, maggots, a naked dead female homeless person, and necrophilia. Then there are a handful of scenes of sudden splatter as the violence escalates. And just when you think you know where the movie is going, it swerves to 'chemical warfare' involving campy killer-creatures. One point of interest is that this movie makes the punks into bleeding-heart liberals instead of fascists, but given that today's liberals are the new fascists, it comes as no surprise.

Unmasked Part 25 (AKA Hand of Death)  
A satire on Friday the 13th slasher movies featuring a sensitive slasher with a face like the Toxic Avenger who can't resist his fate to brutally tear apart teenagers' faces and carve them up. His bum of a father philosophizes about his upbringing, his teenage victims have sex and stumble on tree roots right on cue to get impaled, and the girls are terribly boring when they scream and run. Enter a blind girl who falls in love with him and tries to teach him romance and S&M. Will he live a normal life or is he doomed to kill everyone and appear in endless sequels?

Untot: Undead Unleashed  
More amateur German splatter, but this one doesn't take itself so seriously and feels like a bunch of kids having fun with special effects, and working really hard at them too. The plot is all over the place and never makes any sense, even with subtitles. A group of friends and relatives wander around the forest and town, supposedly coming out of isolation after some kind of an apocalypse, when zombies start attacking. The rest of the movie then alternates between some completely non-sequitur drama acted out (unconvincingly) between the various characters, and lots and lots of splatter. The drama involving things like family tension or emo-flare-ups that seem to come and go, self-mutilation and suicidal tendencies, a gay crush, accusations of being inhuman against zombies, a mad doctor that performs ad-hoc splattery surgery, drug addiction, random cannibalism, a nonsensical twist ending, and whatnot. The zombies aren't very convincing either. The only thing worthy of note here is the fun they had finding dozens and dozens of ways to abuse, carve, chop, mince and tear apart zombies with every tool, sharp object, heavy object, machine, weapon, gardening equipment, etc they can find, even using a steam-roller at one time. Only watch if you don't need anything more than constant, over-the-top and entertaining, albeit amateurish splatter.

Begos continues his series of throwback grindhouse and horror movies, this time inspired by Assault on Precinct 13, except with tons of splatter. Just because it has splatter, however, he doesn't lose sight of the primary ingredient in a movie like this: Tension and character. VFW is a bar for veteran soldiers, except tonight the tough old geezers are in for a surprise when a girl runs into their bar followed by a gang of vicious drug-dealers and an army of addict-zombies. The bodies and ultra-violence pile up as the siege escalates through the night... This one is a well done homage for the most part, except for one thing: The lighting is way too dark. So a lot of the fun acting and splatter effects are drowned in gritty darkness. Otherwise, it's fun retro-grindhouse with a nice electronic soundtrack inspired by Carpenter.

Victor Crowley  
Hatchet part IV. They still got it. This time they ship a bus-load of amusingly obnoxious human-fodder for the killing machine that is Victor. I'm not one for slashers, but this one makes fun of it all and has a wicked sense of humor. The kills are outrageous, even shockingly brutal at times, with splatter and body parts flying all over as Victor takes to crushing, impaling people with their own body parts, or putting his belt-sander to good use conveniently stored in his museum by his serial-killer fans. This movie sets up the characters, including one character who survived the last one and who finds himself back facing Victor under hilarious circumstances, and ends quickly without wearing out its welcome.

Visions of Horror  
Horror anthology with seven shorts, Tiffany Shepis as host, and no wrapper story. As with most of these things, the quality varies between shorts, but some here are above average and worth watching. First is a unique one with an intense, vengeful angel-of-death angry at a killer for messing up his book of death. The second average one features a Stephen-King-esque aging horror via sleep with a strange ending. The third is only over-the-top splattery one in this collection and is a fun but silly zombie romp where a gang of female zombie-killers with attitude raid a dance-club for zombies, and interrupt a 'Thriller' dance by the zombies for some splattery mayhem. Then there's an above-average darker short about an evil playground, and another fun short about a terrorizing psychotic kid who demands his 'trick or treat' one day after Halloween, with a very unexpected ending. The sixth is a strange but uninteresting one that features various random human-creatures in some kind of fantasy world populated by violent characters, in a short that embraces a variety of movie cliches for campy effect. The final one is the longest and most tedious, featuring one insane killer abusing another insane killer, both not just chewing, but raping the scenery in an endless rant.

Volumes of Blood  
With a title like that, you would expect a Peter Jackson movie, but you would be wrong. This is an anthology, with four horror stories told by some youths in a library that all take place in said library, and one wrapper that is a story within itself. There's a theme of urban legends, but this film would have you believe that any horror story can be an urban legend. There's a blackly humorous story about an evil power-drink, a ghost story, a killer movie with a twist, and a demonic one, all wrapped by some completely random slashings that seem more interested in the varied deaths and special effects than a story. But its the character interactions are kinda fun, and a couple of the stories are short enough to be entertaining. Strangely, almost all of the gore (mostly splattery slashings and brief gratuitous torture porn) is in the beginning and end, and is otherwise restrained in the middle. Mildly entertaining.

Voodoo Curse - Legba's Rache  
Low budget German zombie-gore. A drugged-out young man has prophetic nightmares about zombies before joining a group of goths that have their minds set on performing an incantation in a cemetery to communicate with the dead. Unfortunately, they awaken a powerful voodoo curse and find themselves chased by zombies and the general evil undead wherever they go. The movie takes a while to get going but keeps improving in its entertainment levels, gore-effects and atmosphere. The splatter features a wide variety of old-school over-the-top squashy, bloody and gooey violence to various body parts and intestines, and the zombie effects are pretty good. A fairly entertaining way to pass the time as long as you are looking for yet more zombie-splatter and aren't expecting greatness.

Werewolf in a Women's Prison  
Some bad movies think they are good, others just have fun being bad. This one is definitely the latter. Mixing a werewolf horror movie with Women in Prison exploitation as well as over-the-top splatter should give you an indication of its intentions. A girl finds herself in a third-world prison after being attacked by a werewolf. The expected dykes, girl-fights, sadistic guards, rapist guards, nudity and local mercenaries ensue, except this time a gore-hungry werewolf is thrown into the mix, with Japanese style splatter scenes involving buckets of blood, lots of flesh-ripping and dismemberment, all so over-the-top that it's campy. This won't disappoint fans of entertainingly bad b-movies.

Witching Hour  
French very low-budget action-martial-arts-horror-gore extravaganza by Francois Merlin. Imagine a guy with the ambition to pull off an epic HK-style horror-action piece of insanity, and a group of gung-ho action-hungry friends with lots of energy and dedication, but without the resources or skill to pull it off. This one tries to throw in everything and the kitchen sink: Criminal gang-wars, cannibal freaks, supernatural villains, demons, kick-ass witches, zombies, and various other evil minions all fighting each other in a series of action scenes. Most of the fighting and killing is just about the action, but here and there they go out with a splattery bang as heads are ripped open or bodies sliced up or exploded in gory detail. Unfortunately, the script is a mess and never quite makes sense, the editing tries to compensate too much with rapid-cuts to try to make the amateur action more exciting, the lighting is dark, and the scenes are intercut in ways that make it difficult to follow the movie. Still, if you're into home-made exploitation action entertainment and have your standards set low, this may entertain you and pass the time.

This 'Swedish Evil Dead' features youngsters vacationing in a cabin in the woods, finding evil that possesses them and much carnage. The unoriginality didn't bother me, especially since all of the remakes are much more blatant in their plagiarism, and also because there is much to like here and it is definitely much better than the Hollywood Evil Dead remake. The splatter effects and makeup are ubiquitous, superb, very vicious and convincing, keeping it real without going over-the-top to turn it into a splatstick movie. Another great element is the last fifteen minutes that features a completely different type of evil dead: Confused and semi-human but also bloodthirsty, instinctual and creepy, adding a disturbing dimension to the creatures that is criminally underused. If they had made the whole movie like this, it would have been superb (see Zombie Honeymoon). Unfortunately, the writing until then cannot decide on anything. The undead are invincible then a wide variety of things kill them, they are aggressive then passive, unaware of their surroundings then smart, focused on infecting everyone as soon as possible then just performing confused random violence, completely bestial then human. In Evil Dead, everything was a nihilistic attack even when they emulated humans, but here they are contradictory. Also, the infection here is inconsistent. The humans aren't much better, with motivations that stop making sense after a while. For example, in Evil Dead, the evil comes from the forest, forcing them to remain in the cabin, but what is keeping them in the cabin in this one when all of the dangers are obviously only in the cabin? In short, the writers obviously sacrificed realism and consistency just for the chance to keep throwing bodies at each other and maintain the carnage and violence. Classify this as 'could have been great'.

Wizard of Gore, The (2007)  
After the campy remakes of Blood Feast and 2000 Maniacs, along comes this remake of another Herschell Gordon Lewis splatter classic with a different approach. This one re-imagines and upgrades the reality-bending aspects of the original into a convoluted plot about a journalist on the tracks of the gore-magician. Crispin Glover delivers another over-the-top performance as the magician who performs gory acts on the audience that may or may not be hallucinations. Jeffrey Combs is wasted as the sidekick that eats worms and mice, and Brad Dourif chews more scenery as the weird healer, and yet the movie focuses on the boring reporter with a taste for noir-retro clothes and props who tries to figure out the mystery of the magic and why he keeps dreaming about real gory deaths happening after the magic act. The horror isn't bad, the visual style is superb, but the last part is very confusing and convoluted. Also, if you are expecting campy splatter you will be disappointed. There is one over-the-top scene of disemboweling, the rest is nothing you haven't seen in a hundred horror movies but Crispin Glover squeezes a manic intensive glee out of every drop of CGI blood he extracts from some skanky Suicide Girls models using gruesome stage torture devices.

A b-movie comedy-horror that embraces its limitations and exploitation roots and just has fun. There's a drunk good-for-nothing cop, a conspiracy-freak, some strange rituals and violent crimes, and some dark secrets in a small town. When the cop wakes up with a bit more than just a hangover, things take a turn for the violent. Features two guaranteed-unique transformation scenes that are more gory in a flesh-tearing-apart way than the usual mutations in wolfman movies, and a couple of scenes of carnage, including a literal ripping-off of a face. The gore is not extreme enough to be a splatter movie and the camera doesn't linger, but its quite a bit over-the-top for a standard horror-comedy. Also features a beasty sex scene. Limited, but fun.

See Extreme Movies.

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End  
While the first movie was straightforward but intense backwoods horror and one of the best of its kind, this sequel opts for pulp-camp gore and violence. The great opening of a body cut vertically and neatly in half sets the tone of over-the-top gore, and the rest of the movie sets up some teens in a survivor-like Reality TV show, with a cameraman tellingly wearing a Battle Royale t-shirt. The cannibalistic inbred mutant hillbillies appear in no time, but this time they are up against a badass Henry Rollins as the tough soldier-host of the show, and they mix superhuman violence with cannibalism, a Texas Chainsaw dinner-table scene, and some gross-out breeding, sex and peeping-tom scenes. Features a variety of entertaining gory violence, exploding bodies, and a Vegan forced to eat human flesh.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead  
The backwoods mutants have now been converted into silly cartoon characters much like they did to Freddy Krueger, and they are therefore no longer scary, the writing is dumb, and the acting no longer packs any punch, but this is still minimally entertaining in a campy b-movie splatter way, much like the Elm Street sequels. Within the first three minutes, the movie provides boobs and over-the-top splatter (bad CGI) death scenes, then it proceeds to pit a group of stereotypical escaped cons against cops and hunter mutants in the woods. But the cons seem to talk and argue endlessly instead of killing, so the only thing left are the slightly inventive gory deaths involving slicing a body into three, barbed wire booby traps, eating a live brain, vicious hook impalements, and so on.

A very gory Belgian zombie movie with some humor. The setting is a remote, Eastern European, cheap and very unethical plastic-surgery hospital with much of the grotesque mayhem that you would imagine if a zombie outbreak were to start in such a place. A Belgian couple is visiting for quick and cheap breast reduction, along with a mother who is a plastic-surgery veteran. For 60 minutes it's just violent and gory mayhem with lots of running and hiding while the various characters hump or back-stab each other and try to survive. The tone is actually a bit difficult to describe as it is not really a typical zombie-comedy, more like a zombie gore horror movie with elements of irony, black humor, light splatstick and a bit of exploitation. The gore is gleefully over-the-top and creative, though not as extreme or witty as Peter Jackson. The humor is a bit too simple actually, and a missed opportunity given the superb location that is just asking for a much wittier zombie satire than this. The characters vary from three-dimensional to over-the-top fodder, and they often do very stupid things resulting in more gory violence. The ending is also tonally wrong and leaves one very unsatisfied. But for gory zombie mayhem this is definitely an entertaining watch. So, not a classic, but definitely worth a watch for gory zombie movie fans.

Zombibi (AKA Kill Zombie!)  
Fun Dutch zombie-comedy that is too cartoonish and unoriginal to be another Shaun of the Dead. A Moroccan office worker with a crush on a hot office-girl finds himself in prison with his slacker brother and two black men. While they bicker and annoy a pretty blonde police-woman, the world goes to hell when a satellite crashes onto the city, turning everyone into green-goo-infected zombies. He tries to convince the rest of the gang to join him in rescuing the office girl but everyone is too busy trying to survive with weapons that range from an office stapler to a bowling ball. There is plenty of fun to be had in this one, but the tone is just a bit too silly and childish. The classic horror-comedies balance the comedy with at least some edgy horror, and this is just all silly and not creative enough. The level of gore is also borderline and never quite feels like a splatter movie even though there is a lot of splattery mayhem going on, due to several reasons: Green goo just doesn't have the same effect as blood (see Class of Nuke 'em High for another example), and much of it is CGI or off-screen. In short, like a cartoon, good for a one-time fun watch with popcorn.

Zombie Babies  
This one is strictly from the Troma school of bad film-making: The trashier and campier the better. It's one of those movies that you expect to be bad, and it turns out to be worse, except that it's done so over-the-top and silly that it's fun anyways. A couple of insane rednecks run an illegal abortion 'clinic' in a rundown hotel. They decide to launch an 'abortathon' marketing campaign to get a bunch of couples to their 'retreat' for an abortion and a party. Cause girls want nothing more than to party right after the coat-hanger treatment. This is only the beginning of the bad taste. What follows includes fetus-zombies (cheap puppets), fetus-feces, fetus-penis, fetus-sperm, really trashy 'sex' scenes, and a few cheaply gory homages to Peter Jackson's Braindead with a blender and flying body parts. It's more about the grime and bad taste than the gore though so don't expect much, and the focus is on the actors chewing the scenery being as silly and over-the-top silly and trashy as possible. The dialogue is sometimes funny, if you can hear it that is.

Zombie Commando  
Strictly by-the-numbers, uncreative German zombie splatter but it's still slightly entertaining action. You know the drill by now: A virus escapes a chemical factory, infecting one man then spreading quickly amidst passersby, including a bunch of punks. A professional team (a bunch of youngsters) are sent to retrieve it, they battle it out with the zombies in the forest amidst much grue and blood while they fall to the plague one by one. The gore is also what you'd expect involving an extended rampage in the forest: a lot of bloody shootings, intestine munching, and slightly more splattery set pieces when they run out of bullets and use anything else they find to get at the zombies' brains, including axes and branches.

Zombie Cult Massacre  
Energetic garage zombie movie that manages to keep things entertaining despite its low budget. Zombies mix with a cult of religious fanatics who brainwash a passing couple with mescaline and power-tools. An insane cult leader tells girls they have been chosen to accept his seed, the devil, in painfully bad computer-effect dream sequences, plagues the latest brainwashed victim into beliefs of immortality, ruler-ship and Armageddon, a local biker gang declares war on the cult, and zombies bite chunks out of people while being blown apart by shotguns. The splatter is over-the-top, highlights including munching of huge breasts and a fetus.

Zombie Exorcism  
Half-length Danish zombie gore film that gets right into the zombie-survival action. There's a brief setup about a dysfunctional family at a funeral in a church, but then it's all about survival, chasing, violence and zombies eating live humans, all of which get increasingly gory and brutal in the last 20 minutes. It's all about the location of the church and the religious setting, with preaching and prayers contrasted with zombie mayhem, and the maze of cellars and pipes underneath the church. There's some over-the-top brutal human behaviour towards the end, but there's not enough story in this one, and the shaky-cam and extreme close-ups get annoying.

Zombies of Mass Destruction  
The zombie genre easily lends itself to endless targets of social satire if the writers put in a little effort. This low-budget zombie flick finds two targets: The post 9/11 fear of terrorists and Arab-Americans, and conservative opinions on homosexuality, both of which could have been developed much further than the writing in this movie, but there are amusing moments to be had nevertheless. In addition to the barely-there comedy, the splatter is also served in slim pickings, spicing the horror-comedy with scattered scenes of over-the-top face-skinning by zombie, dismemberment, eyeball-eating and some brief splattery torture of an Iranian girl by a man gone mad with fear. The plot involves a zombie outbreak in a small town in America, exactly on the day when a homosexual couple from the city has decided to come out of the closet, to unexpected reactions from his mother as well as the citizens and priest in the local church where they try to find shelter. All in all, the comedy is hit and miss, with some awkward moments as well as hilarious ones, and the splatter is there but nothing to write home about, all adding up to an entertaining one-time watch but nothing more.

Zombie Strippers!  
A campy b-movie that delivers on the gore, nudity and zombies. A rogue special-forces soldier crawls into an illegal strip joint after being bitten by an experimental zombie. A stripper is the first to go, but when she comes back with a sizzling living-dead stripping performance, things start getting out of hand. Customers are taken to the back room and eaten, living strippers become jealous of dead ones (including a devout Christian down on her luck and a goth-girl), the dead ones start rotting away, and the zombies accumulate in the basement, but the owner (Robert Englund) and audience are too excited to stop the madness. The gore is mostly pretty good CGI with a great jaw-ripping scene, plenty of flesh munching and various other violent acts, including a pole-dancing duel and vaginal ping-pong balls as weapons.

Zombie Town  
Not a bad little zombie horror-comedy. The best thing about it is that it got the blend of horror and light comedy right, and that's difficult to do. The plot, however, doesn't contain anything original, featuring a bunch of youngsters in a tiny hick town that try to survive an outbreak of deadly leech-slugs that convert their hosts into zombies. There's a bunch of funny bits concerning a wave of killer grandmothers, and their attitude gradually adjusts to the idea that everyone they kill is someone they know or are related to, allowing for some amusing quips. The gore is slightly higher than an average zombie movie, especially thanks to the grisly scenes of slugs coming out of dead bodies, and the messy method they find to kill them. There are also some flaws with the unrealistic reactions by the local folk. So, basically, we have slightly above-average gore, humor and entertainment, although none of them really stand out. Which makes this a fun one-time watch.

Silly but entertaining Japanese zombie-comedy that is half parody, half homage, half plain silliness. Employees working for a company find strange zombie videos in the 'archives', right before a zombie outbreak. This includes a girly girl who hates horror movies, and a horror-movie nerd who can't get enough of them, but somehow real life brings out the unexpected in them. They have to fight zombies off with office supplies, leading to a variety of splattery kills, and also deal with a government conspiracy, and zombies that can't make up their mind if they are zombies, awakening the wrath of zombie-movie purists. The ending goes off the rails with some Nishimura-esque moments and a super-zombie. A somewhat entertaining way to pass the time.

Abomination, The  
A truly dismal gore version of Little Shop of Horrors that has a guy get infected by a tumor that his mother coughed up after being healed by a preacher, only to have it produce offspring. Cody coughs up little tumors while the one inside him controls him into murdering people and feeding the flesh to the rapidly growing monsters with huge teeth. Lots of laughably bad splatter, completely flat acting, a narration that is out of an Ed Wood movie, and dubbed/looped dialog and screaming. So terrible it's funny. OK, maybe not that funny.

German serial-killer gore movie about a simple man who becomes convinced he has received a message from God to find and extract a confession from all sinners before sending them to heaven. Of course, it's not too difficult to find sinners nowadays. The film is very workmanlike: Choose a victim, take 'em to the basement, chop off a few limbs or disembowel or eye-gouge them til they confess all their dirty sins, repeat and rinse. The victims don't exactly convince that they just had their limbs chopped off. The only plot point that takes an amusing turn is an ex-mafia guy in search of his sister, but it's too little too late.

Alien vs. Ninja  
This Japanese bubble-gum splatter craze just keeps getting sillier every year. Imagine a children's movie with the mentality of a bad and cheesy Power Rangers movie, only with splatter and juvenile smut humor. A group of cartoonishly young and good-looking ninjas wearing fashion-statement ninja-suits are sent to the forest to investigate a fireball from the sky. Before you can say 'where's the plot', they get involved in a series of battles with super-fast-and-dangerous actors in obvious and silly alien-suits. Their speed and abilities change according to the current scene requirements, and they just keep changing weapons and locations until the final climax involving possessed-zombie ninjas. Body parts fly and blood geysers erupt, but even if you only have a few brain cells, they should reject this bottom-rung attempt at entertainment.

All Hallows' Eve  
Turns out Damien Leone has been unsheathing Art the Clown to terrify his audiences long before Terrifier came out. This anthology of three shorts and a wrapper story starts off very weak with two obnoxious kids and a babysitter watching a mysterious horror VHS where Art the Clown makes short appearances. After some nonsensical random underground horrors and an alien invasion, Art comes out for the third and only gory short, where he does his usual thing as a supernatural clown slasher, appearing everywhere and mutilating his victims. The babysitter is not amused in the slightest. Uninteresting and notable only as a precursor.

American Mummy  
Limp horror movie about a bunch of students and researchers uncovering a Aztec mummy in an American desert. The characters and their motivations never make much sense and one of them decides to perform a ritual on the mummy for some reason. Before you can scream for your mummy, no the mummy doesn't go around killing people, it possesses them all one by one forcing them to perform more rituals and kill each other in gruesome ways. The splatter is the only thing well done here and it gets quite gruesome as they carve each other up or crawl around even though they have been cut in half.

Anaconda III  
The Sci-Fi channel distributes dozens of awful creature features with moderate helpings of gore and splatter, but I don't remember one quite this gleefully excessive (in its uncut DVD). It even surpasses the relatively gorier creature b-movies like Frankenfish. Unfortunately it's also one of their worst releases, and that's saying a lot, with extremely cheap and laughable computer effects, Hasselhoff, and a 'hot' female scientist that can do everything including fight men three times her size and stare down a 100-foot Anaconda (who tears apart everyone else). This time, the scientists are using the snakes for a tycoon's personal project to develop an immortality drug using some science that never begins to make sense, and, of course, the snakes escape and eat their hunters one by one. The first half of the movie features a handful of badly done over-the-top splatter scenes with several blood-gushing beheaded bodies, as well as blood-geyser impalements that look like a slip of the mouse rather than anything that someone actually worked on.

Animal Soup  
British pocket-change extreme nasty that uses the old & hairy device of backwoods inbred killers by way of August Underground gratuitous sadism, and which looks like a really old Schnaas movie. In other words, there is no plot, just groups of campers in the woods waiting to be butchered and tortured by a bunch of nasty, retarded, sadistic and perverse wackos (some guys that turned up chew-the-scenery-mode to 13). The acting, cinematography, sound, pacing and even continuity are all horrible, and the special effects are mostly cheap and obvious with some nasty exceptions. Features feces, vomit, urine, organ-chopping, face-skinning, beheading, torture with nails, hammers and drills as well as with body fluids and feces, and so on. Dull and pointless cheap nastiness.

Army of the Dead  
I don't like Zack Snyder movies ever since 300 (his second movie). He switched to comic-book mode, and ever since then it's been all about the visuals and the spectacle and a complete disregard for basic physics and basic logic. This pseudo-zombie movie is exactly that. It's actually a heist movie that takes place in a zombie-overrun Las Vegas, and it has lots of splatter at the beginning and end of the movie, except the heist is ridiculously badly planned, and Snyder keeps changing the zombie rules and behaviour until, very soon, they stop being zombies and behave more like emotional Orcs. Everyone has a perfect head-shot score, never missing once, even people that are not gun-trained, a man can throw a heavy table across the room like Superman, some characters do extremely irrational things that negate their own survival, the plot-holes keep accumulating, and a nuclear bomb... well I don't know what it was but it didn't behave like a nuclear bomb. I was entertained for a while, but by the time the movie was ending I felt so insulted and confused I could no longer enjoy it at even the basic brainless popcorn-entertainment level. Yup, it's another Zack Snyder huge spectacle.

This is very extreme Mexican found-footage nastiness in the vein of August Underground, only with a barebones plot. It's primary purpose is to push the envelope as far as it can with one scene of nastiness after another. It's gornography with a minimal wrapper plot. Sadistic criminals leave behind various videotaped exploits which a sadistic policeman watches. There's extreme torture of a transvestite prostitute, a completely gratuitous nasty knife-rape of a hooker, and a story of malicious father abusing his gay son only to get his comeuppance straight out of Ed Gein's playbook and then some, with butchering and grafting of body parts and a dildo from hell. Everything is extremely graphic, repulsive and grimy. The introduction about crime stats in Mexico is perhaps the most grievous offender, as if social commentary is the point of this non-film.

Attack Girls Swim Team Vs. The Undead  
I suppose not every Japanese exploitation director can pull it off like Miike. This sloppy title tries to entertain with its whimsical plotting, gore and loads of nudity, but the result is too dumb. A zombie outbreak in school seems to have missed the swim team which promptly declares war on the faculty. A mysterious new girl with fighting skills joins them and manages to have a lesbian encounter during the mass killings and other plot confusions. This movie features weak gore with off-screen killings and just lots of flying limbs and blood, a juggling teacher that kills students, a flute as an irresistible aphrodisiac, a genital laser, and endless multiple idiotic plot twists at the end.

Attitude for Destruction  
Hard-rock horror movie by obvious big fans of Gun-n-Roses. The band here all dress up like GnR band members, name themselves "Hollywood Roses" which was GnR's previous band name, and the movie title... well... All is not paradise between the band members (no surprise there), as a big label creates a rift between them. In the meantime, a groupie... I mean girlfriend, is practicing black magic and sacrificing naked girls. What could go wrong? Unfortunately, the plot leaves much to be desired, being barebones and predictable, and feels like it's merely a delivery mechanism for the many full musical tracks in the soundtrack. There's a very splattery beginning, but most of the deaths are standard slasher fare. And the ending is weak.

Automaton Transfusion  
Teenagers vs. zombies in a horribly made low-budget movie with good gore, proving that not all zombie movies are entertaining. A zombie outbreak plagues a city that seems to have no radio or TV news, and before you know it, everyone is undead except for some oblivious teenagers. There's no plot, most of the movie consisting of vignettes as zombies kill people at random and escaping teenagers go on a killing rampage, until a stupid government conspiracy angle is tacked on to the end. Splatter includes gut, fetus and limb munching, jaw-ripping, chainsaws, etc. The fatal flaws are the lack of story and characters, zombies that run, pose, show emotional reactions and move human-like around their prey, an idiotic cliffhanger ending, and a cameraman who likes shaking the camera way too much. How hard can it be to make your actors act like zombies?

Autopsy (2008)  
There is a terrifying horror movie about hospitals waiting to be made that exploits many of our fears. This bad movie is like a tease of what could have been, with some good elements, but an overall stupid experience. It has the mentality of a dumb b-movie except it has a bigger budget, with Robert Patrick as a doctor (enough said) Some driving teenagers get into an accident with a strange pedestrian, and before you know it, they are whisked away to a strange hospital where things gradually get more and more insane and gruesome. The gore includes graphic bizarre surgery, autopsies on the living, head-drilling and mountains of body parts, some used like lego. Nonsensical and poor, with some (wasted) potential.

Avogardo: Murmansk Mutation  
Bottom-of-the-barrel obscure German splatter by 'Siggi Sick'. If your idea of a splatter movie is to watch a bunch of young guys mug for the camera and pretend to be badass mutant cannibalistic drug-dealers in a wide variety of locations with store-bought intestines as splatter-effects, then be my guest. These people don't just chew the scenery, they do it very badly and most of them can't contain their grinning while they're doing it. It would be one thing if they were doing fun or entertaining things, but this is the type of movie where only the actors are having fun, not the audience. The 'plot' involves a new drug that mutates people at random (bad masks and prosthetic penises), that makes them all into violent sex-starved cannibals, and this tells the story of a gang of thugs and a mad scientist that want to take over the world. Which is basically saying that it's just an excuse for a bunch of guys to yell and overact a lot, perform violent acts on each other, play with intestines, have sex with intestines and mutated penises, and pad the rest of the movie with footage of friends and their trips abroad.

Back from Hell  
A priest visits a friend that sold his soul to the devil for celebrity success, and finds a lot more than he bargained for. My biggest problem with this low-budget horror film is its plotting which goes everywhere, and never follows-up on any of it. There are deals with the devil, evil eyes that turn people into killers, Evil-Dead-esque possessions, an apocalypse, zombies, Satanic ninja warriors, a missing aunt, etc, all of these are started and then abruptly shift to something else and are promptly forgotten. The acting is also quite terrible but somehow the plotting bothered me more. There is ambition though, and many scenes were obviously inspired by Evil Dead. The splatter is not bad, varied and pretty generous for such a low budget, including disemboweling and eye-gouging with meaty effects. But, next time give the plot a bit of structure please.

Back from the Dead  
Rare Peter Jackson wannabe release from Australia that unfortunately relies on toilet humor, endless fart jokes, silly slapstick and actors that think they're funny instead of having real wit. The splatter is there however. A mad ex-Nazi scientist experiments with regression therapy to explore a local's past lives, in one of which he is a psychotic killer cannibal. His girlfriend's mum who is wheelchair bound and has a pet tapeworm, is near-psychotic herself and their personalities clash for an over-the-top gory climax.

Back Woods
See Extreme Movies.

Bad Dreams
Bottom-of-the-barrel, obscure German underground splatter from 1995 that really scrapes the lowest dregs. It's a home-made movie made by a group of friends (Andrew Spencer, Tom Harrisson et al), each taking turns in different roles to film a violent short movie for an 'anthology'. In each short, some people go visit the woods, more people appear in the woods at random, there are amateurish limp fights, each time with different outcomes, and some simple splattery deaths. There's also a violent zombie and an evil portal thrown in at random. All of this is 'dreamt' by some guy in his living room in a wrapper story that makes no sense. Purely a home-made hobby movie with nothing of interest.

Four girls find themselves locked in a facility to be experimented on with random strange experiments, sadism, psychological games, etc. There's a killer that appears and disappears in the most illogical ways and nobody else seems to notice or react in the way you expect, things seem to happen for real but then the scene is cut off and the characters are shown waking up later, etc. This is one of those movies that are so nonsensical and badly written, you immediately assume or hope it's just dream-logic. Except it isn't. The more the plot twists and turns, the less it makes sense. The final twists explain some things while making everything else nonsensical. There is some horror, some sci-fi, a bit of torture, and there's a whole bucket of blood thrown with every slash and smash, but the movie doesn't really excel at any of the above. So much effort for such poor writing.

Beast of Bray Road, The  
A relatively more gory werewolf movie by the Asylum, but it's still very uninspired and cheesy in a bad way. The plot is predictable and full of cliches from start to finish, the characters are all cardboard, and the gore gleefully flings buckets of entrails around with a couple of gruesome butchering scenes but even that is nothing to write home about. The story involves the usual small town with redneck locals and hot women (wait what?), being attacked by a vicious animal, and the practical sheriff that tries to handle the sudden outbreak of gruesome deaths and panic. Surprisingly the actors do a better job than the director and writer, although even they mostly fail to express pain and fear, so the whole thing is a limp bad horror movie.

Beyond the Door III (AKA Amok Train)  
Basically a typical 80s Italian nonsensical horror movie in the vein of D'Amato or Fulci, where the gore set-pieces are the focus and everything else never has to make any sense as long as its 'supernatural' and features something creatively horrible happening. Re-named to latch on to a weak horror franchise only because it too involves Satanic rituals, and originally released with its gore cut out. A group of American students go on a field trip to Yugoslavia to witness a special ancient 'passion-play' ritual, not realizing that their virgin co-student was selected for the ritual. Practically every step of the way, things happen and people behave in ways that never make sense. In any case, they soon find themselves on a train controlled by the devil that kills them off one by one in outrageous ways. The gore (even in the uncut version) is borderline and not as extreme as it sounds, but one can see their minds were primarily on over-the-top death scenes. There's one splattery set-piece involving a graphic peeling and falling apart of a face, and the others explode or are torn apart due to various forms of train-violence. Hokey nonsense.

Big Tits Dragon, The  
More weirdo bubble-gum splatter from Japan with young girls as protagonists, but not at the insane levels of Nishimura. A group of strippers encounter a book of spells and a well of souls in the basement of the strip club, and promptly raise the dead. They fight it out of course, with chainsaws and swords, causing many lame scenes of CGI blood splatter, and over-the-top geysers from decapitations, body-slicing and dismemberments, but the club owner still tries to get away with not paying them. In the middle of all this, the movie enjoys surprising with some random bizarre scenes involving a toothy vagina that shoots fire, a blue demon, and a pervert dwarf. Silly and uncreative, and don't expect too many bare breasts despite the title.

French homage to giallo, but unlike the fascinating Amer, this is just a series of kill and nudity scenes with a few elements of a brainless, nonsensical plot thrown in the beginning and end of the movie. It's all about the snuff and nudity with an emphasis on style, fashion and atmosphere, except it feels like a copy-and-paste job from a dozen movies and directors, including colorful Argento-esque horror, some useless DePalma split screens, Fulci eyeball trauma, repetitive dream/vision/hallucination scenes of nightmarish kills, and more. The gore is very graphic, with close-ups of slicing and eyeball abuse. But it's all very dull, pointless and empty. Released together with the very similar Last Caress.

Blood Angel II  
They don't remake exploitation movies like they used to. Given that this is a German underground copy of 'I Spit on Your Grave', one would expect lots of nastiness in both the rape and revenge aspects. But this is home-made, lightweight and modern, with more male nudity than female, and simple gore that starts practical then goes the lazy route with bad CGI effects. There's castration, silly sound effects with unrealistic fight scenes, some brief gory machete chopping, bad acting, and a very unsatisfying ending.

Blood Frenzy  
Another 80s slasher movie with above-average gore in the vein of Friday the 13th, and with movie-makers that like zooming in on their handiwork, which is no surprise seeing as the director is a pornographer. A doctor takes her group of psychiatric patients to the desert for some 'confrontational therapy'. Her group is one-of-each, like some reality-show: A nymphomaniac, a traumatized war veteran, an alcoholic, a lesbian(?), a woman who fears to be touched, and an aggressive macho man. Looks like she is going to get plenty of confrontation eh? But there is a killer loose, linked to the opening scene where a father is gorily slashed by his child, leading to a typically nonsensical denouement, slashing torture of a woman, and a pretty bloody climax with more zooming than creativity.

Blood Night  
Just another slasher movie, except this one has a female killer and the gore quota is very high. And that's all there is to say really, because this plot is so routine, it's beyond dull. A killer child, an insane asylum, abuse, an escape, a teenage sex party, lots of deaths and chases and so on. Axes to the face, sliced head, scissored head, pickaxes, slashings, all gleefully gory and over the top, but of medium quality.

Blood on the Highway  
If horror is difficult to do right, then comedy is even more so. This hybrid has the wit of a teenage fratboy on pot. There are a handful of laughs to be had here, but the rest of the movie overwhelms with idiocy and attempts at comedy falling flat. An obnoxious girl, an obnoxious muscle-bound ex-boyfriend, and an even more obnoxious weasel boyfriend go on a road trip and encounter a town of vampires. That's it really, the movie focusing on dialogue, silly cartoonish characters, and some campy fight scenes with buckets of blood. Characters talk forever as if they were in love with their dialogue, assuming that every word they utter is comedy-gold. The gore goes over-the-top in some scenes but it's mostly lots and lots of blood splatter and ripped off limbs, making this a borderline splatter movie. The funniest parts usually involve the locals consisting of slacker vampires and their silly attempts at being scary, but the heroes are all too annoying to enjoy.

A hardcore thrash-punk band that eats its audience sounds like a fun topic for a movie right? Not if its this painfully amateurish with a cast that looks like emo-goth mallrats posing as evil vampires and chewing the scenery. An all-girl band called Bloodrape, that once ate their audience, is making a grand comeback (in someone's living room). Two teenage guys get more than they bargained for when they go to the concert, but are left alive because only they know how to use a camcorder (its not rocket science guys, really). They tour, eat random people with weak blood effects, and then the director decides to try his hand at nasty gore and trash with castrations, blood orgies, wild slashings, vomit, and a montage of genital mutilations, but it's too amateurish to have any effect. George Kuchar made an appearance here right before he died.

BloodRage (Blutrausch)  
Another underground German splatter release with no imagination. A sack-wearing cannibal killer and his mom kill and eat passersby in the woods. When two buddy fishermen are caught by this dynamic duo, it becomes a struggle for survival as more and more people become involved and get themselves killed. Features a handful of darkly-lit splatter scenes involving a chainsaw, dismemberment and decapitations, and there is a silly twist ending, but there's nothing creative. By Stefan Svahn.

In its unrated version, this Hollywood piece of excrement is actually a border splatter movie thanks to Ittenbach's involvement with the special effects. Warriors from a vampire killer society team up with a sexy half-human half-vampire to do battle with a powerful vampire (Ben Kingsley of all people) and his army. Terrible acting, idiotic script, anachronisms from here to eternity, many of them having to do with modern female behaviour and slutty dress in the 18th century, extremely lame fight scenes and a director who didn't know what to do with all the splatter so he concentrated most of it in a stupid flashback scene towards the end of the movie.

Blood Shed, The  
I suppose this would be the result if John Waters made an homage to backwoods horror movies. incestuous, trashy, cross-dressing, ugly hillbillies in the forest prance about with dead animals, argue, play games, over-act, and kill neighbours and wanderers. That's it for the plot, the rest is over-the-top campy and trashy acting with some silly splatter and nasty genital torture. There's a scene where they literally pull apart a young boy, and a silly dinner-table scene that doesn't quite have the same effect as in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Blood Sucking Babes from Burbank  
Babes from Burbank and their boyfriends search for archaeological finds by walking through the woods. The Babes find a box full of gems that turn women into man-eaters (literally), get naked a lot and fight each other for it, while others try to stop the epidemic. Cheesy body-part gore and bad special effects ensue. The beginning is definitely in the so-bad-it's-good genre, but it just keeps getting lamer and sillier until your brain focuses on drying paint instead.

Blutnacht (Blood Night - Revenge of the Demon)  
German underground splatter movies are not known for their quality, but this one takes the cake as far as levels of amateurish productions go. This home-made, inept trash by Jochen Stephan almost makes Nathan Schiff movies look high-budget. A group of youngsters go into the woods (what else did you expect?). One punk's girlfriend cheats on him, and after a row, he is killed, then brought back to life by a demon for bloody revenge. One by one he picks them out, stabs, dismembers and disembowels them with help by a very silly demon who provides him with body blankets and weapons. Backed by bad garage-metal, horribly padded-out scenes, terrible lighting and camera-work, and insipid home-made splatter.

Blutnacht 2 (Blood Night 2 - Return of the Demon)  
What sets this German splatter movie apart from most others of its ilk is the fact that it employs a lot of humor. Unfortunately, it's of the juvenile, silly toilet and witless kind. Twenty years ago, a group of gothic youngsters called up a demon in the woods (except for some guy who got bored and went into the bushes to get a blowjob while evil was waking up, and we all know how that ends), and now, a new group of young oversexed fodder is served. So there's this 'demon' who really likes to methodically dismember bodies with chainsaws and wheelbarrows instead of supernatural forces, and the makers of the film just let loose with buckets of cow intestines, livers and blood as if bodies are just butcher-refuse bags waiting to be sliced open. Except that the demon is some dude in a leather jacket and cheap mask/gloves, there's a weird guy running around the forest with his pants down and 'I Heart Ham' painted on his butt who likes to rape dead disemboweled bodies, and, just so you know, when the demon gets bored, he also kills by diarrhea. I found it too repetitive, uninspired and silly to enjoy.

Boaria Connection Trilogy  
Three home-made splatter movies from Italy (Borza Produzioni), running 20, 40 and 60 minutes respectively. It all started with a cabbage and its loving farmer. When the cabbage gets kidnapped, the farmer goes berserk on a killing rampage, killing old ladies (moustached men in drag) at random. A priest, for some reason, gets all biblical as well, massacring all sinners (and random old ladies), while hyping up the meaning of the cabbage to apocalyptic proportions. There's a standoff with cigars where size does matter, zombies that come and go, cabbage rape, and other oddities. The third entry ramps up the trash, with dirty old ladies and random extreme abuse by plastic phalluses, and adds a character called Mantango, a prophet, who is dressed like a mushroom. The splatter is strictly amateur-hour and very home-made. Unlike German underground splatter, this one doesn't take itself seriously, and boasts an anything-goes silly approach, but it's still inept trash. The only kinda fun to be had is the garage-metal soundtrack.

Body Melt
See Extreme Movies.

Body Shop, The (AKA Doctor Gore)  
A mad scientist and his hunchback assistant collect female body parts from live, pretty girls to build the perfect mate. The doctor then teaches her about affection and life but starts having difficulties keeping her around. This was made by the special effects collaborator of H.G Lewis and it obviously tries and fails to capture the cheaply entertaining camp values of Lewis' films. The stupidity level is extremely high and there isn't any camp, comedy, continuity, acting chops, or anything else of interest. There is hardly any gore but when it's there, it involves over-the-top dismemberment and is surprisingly convincing.

Bounty Killer  
Bottom-of-the-barrel modern-style comic-book post-apocalyptic grindhouse exploitation wannabe that will only appeal to undiscerning fanboys distracted by the skimpy outfits and over-the-top violence. The imagination is poor and completely unbelievable, setting up a world where corporations have taken over and wiped out the world with wars, and a council of bounty hunters are trying to restore the world by killing corporate executives. The two celebrity bounty-hunters look like teenage idols rather than killers, with utterly bland non-existent personalities, and the girl has the super-powerful skill of looking like she stepped out a Victoria-secret catalog even after riding through a radioactive desert for a whole day. The wild killer-'gypsies' fare no better, with laughable artistic and dainty skulls painted on their faces. Mad Max this is not. The borderline and uninteresting splatter is just beyond the level of a gory SyFy movie, with only a handful of scenes of splattery decapitation and head-slicing that gleefully go for blood-fountains. Being a modern exploitation movie, the movie still dresses its women in lingerie and tiny skirts, except it makes them kick-ass and misandrist (the heroine stabs her lover for fun whenever he gets too close) to appease the feminists and masochistic fanboys. Just try to imagine a comedy about a man who stabs his girlfriend for fun.

Butcher, The  
Korean extreme nasty that combines torture-porn with gore and the found-footage genre. The gimmick here is that you experience the movie mostly from the victim's point of view, as well as sometimes from the torturer's point of view, since both of them have cameras strapped onto their heads and are taking part in a snuff movie within the movie, managed by a 'director' who is bored with his job. The whole movie takes place in a warehouse, starting with psychological horror as the victims slowly realize what is about to happen to them, and then a couple is tortured in various ways by a bestial sodomizer in a pig mask, in an attempt to make the snuff footage more 'artistic'. Graphic chainsaw dismemberment and eye-gouging bring to mind the Guinea-Pigs, and the couple is toyed with and sadistically played off each other as the director gets bored with repeating the same old dismemberment. If the gore doesn't put you off your lunch, the extremely shaky head-cameras will. In other words, mostly a nasty and very pointless waste of time, except for the barb at US audiences where the director says the Americans will buy anything of this sort. Of course, that doesn't stop the Koreans from making it.

Cabin Fever: Patient Zero  
A prequel that is written so badly and messily, you'll start wondering whether the cabin fever hasn't infected the writer's brain. Two parallel stories merge: One about a lab and its scientists trying to study a virus contained inside a 'patient zero', led by a confusingly written megalomaniac in a hi-tech lab that is confusingly disconnected from the rest of the world. And the other story is about a bachelor party on an island (and we all know how these end in horror movies). The virus spreads confusingly, causing completely different reactions in different people, just so the writers and special-effects guys can have a ball with disgusting gore, pus, boils, rotting necrotic flesh, etc. Although the disease is obviously extremely traumatic on the body, nonsensically, it seems to have no effect on the brain, with people continuing on, getting horny, or fighting even though their bodies are falling apart. At least part 2 turned it into a disgusting camp splatterfest, but this one, confusingly, wants to be taken seriously. Features a cat fight where two women literally tear each other apart.

Cabin Fever (2016)  
This automatically gets zero points for being a remake of a 14-year-old movie. It gets negative points for being a carbon-copy without changing or improving a thing. In fact, it packs less of a punch than the original even though this felt a little bit more gory. I may be wrong on this, but I recall the original to have some nasty gore-scenes without going over-the-top, and this one adds more gore but loses a lot of the nastiness, and even then the gore is borderline extreme. In any case, it's exactly the same plot with obnoxious teenagers finding themselves in the woods with a nasty disease going around that infects you in less than a day and does everything from making your flesh break out in boils, to having it melt or rot, or just fall off. But the thing with these obnoxiously immoral, idiotic and over-the-top selfish teenagers in Roth's movies is that you lose any interest in caring about what happens, not to mention that they never seem like real people. A waste of time.

Cannibal Apocalypse  
Banned by the over-zealous UK 'video nasty' board but actually very tame considering it's a cannibal/zombie hybrid. Soldiers bring back a rabies-like contagious disease from Vietnam that compels them to cannibalize people. Lots of action and bloody biting ensue as the police force and psychiatric ward try to keep the epidemic under control. There's some flesh ripping, neck biting, and the piece-de-resistance: a huge gaping hole in a man's torso after several shotgun blasts. Dull and surprisingly tame.

Cannibal Campout  
Dire low-budget backwoods horror movie with cannibalism and sporadic comedy. Teenagers camp in the woods. Backwoods folk, one of them wearing a pilot's helmet, chase them around, hit on the girls and kill them. The gore is mostly lame blood splatter but after a whole hour delivers a couple of disemboweling and de-embryonifying splatter scenes.

Cannibal Claus  
If you've read the movie title, you've seen the movie. There's a Santa, he tracks down naughty people having sex, after extended nudity scenes he chops them up into gory pieces, then uses the pieces for sex, for tree decorations, and to eat. Repeat and rinse. In between, he takes a break and goes to get a lap-dance. Trashy, unimaginative, inept. Even the splattery gore is barely there.

Cannibal Massacre  
Silly Spanish splatter comedy obviously inspired by Texas Chainsaw complete with an insane and filthy family dealing with human flesh, hammers to the head, a chainsaw, and a manic dinner scene with a girl tied to a chair. A car breaks down, a group of youngsters fall into the hands of some insane killers, various limbs are chopped off, a baby's brain is sucked through a straw, a girl tries to escape and fight back, etc etc. The gore is cheap but over-the-top, some sleaze involving rape and a nymphomaniac sister is thrown in for good measure, the acting is horrible, the comedy silly, and the characters talk on and on annoyingly. Gives a new meaning to the phrase 'a woman's place is in the kitchen'.

Cannibal Messiah  
German silly comedy-splatter movie about... everything and the kitchen sink really. Just to describe the plot would take a couple of pages, not because it is complicated, but because the movie keeps changing its mind and switching to a new plot development every 5 minutes. There are a couple of weird film-makers who are kidnapped by an angry soldier who wants revenge for his dead brother. He forces them to trek through the woods in search of a hermit, who can lead them to a modern cult of cannibals who had something to do with his brother's death. There's hermit-torture, cannibal religion and mysticism, silly phobias about ticks, a cannibal version of 'The Last Supper', time travel, mysterious tunnels that convert people into creatures, silly cannibal philosophies, a small spoof of Deodato's cannibal movies, a wild woman who loves torturing men with anal impalement, trippy drug hallucinations and more. The splatter is more German-nasty than Jackson-splatstick, involving lots and lots of long intestines, blood-geysers, genital mutilation and anuses. I tried to enjoy it as a silly and campy splatter movie, but it wore out its welcome quite quickly. The comedy is either too silly (complete with obnoxious voices and cartoonish characters), or too juvenile with lots of drug and toilet humor. And the plot never develops, it just keeps adding new elements until you get bored.

Carnosaur 1 & 2    
If you thought dinosaur attacks should be much gorier than the ones in Jurassic Park, then you have one thing in common with Roger Corman. This cheap cash-in features rubber animated dinosaurs (created by a mad scientist) running amok tearing up humans in surprisingly graphic ways (it may be Corman's goriest movie). Except they aren't just hatched, they also come in the form of a virus unleashed through chicken and human DNA, turning cells into... dinosaur-creating... stuff. What this means is that there's some ripping off of Alien in here as well, complete with an alien-tractor battle. Environmentalists reach an all-time low in terms of respect for humanity here, and the various random characters and shadowy government officials straight out of a bad conspiracy movie, never behave in any way that makes sense. Believe it or not, this stinky cheese had two sequels (with decreasing amounts of gore).

CarousHELL 2  
I enjoyed the goofy first installment, but this one just belabors its weak jokes and 'dramatic' storyline for most of the movie's runtime. This time around our indiscriminate stiff carousel unicorn killer searches for both his roots in Nazi Germany and finds out he has a family at the same time. Of course, Nazisploitation has to enter the picture, and we all know evil Dominatrix Nazis are always called Ilsa. Enter lots of too-silly Nazi humor and ridiculous family bonding scenes, with the splatter only entering the picture in the final reel with faces being ripped very gorily apart, along with some cheesy dark arts 'magic' effects. Lacking the goofy charm of the original.

This is one crazy movie that promises a lot and delivers next to nothing. It's absurd, extreme horror, featuring a deranged detective/PI on the case of a missing girl who got involved with a very strange cult. It's a delirious movie, not only because of the completely random scenes of encounters with an assortment of suspects and crazy people, but also due to a nonsensical plot. The delirious atmosphere of the film is on purpose, as an alcoholic detective with a wry sense of humor has to deal with his own craziness as well as lunatics from a cult with their gobbledygook theories and some bizarre unexplained supernatural appearances. On top of everything else he has surreal nightmare dreams. This could have been a fun absurd horror movie, except that the plot never makes sense, the scenes are random, and the ending is abrupt and highly unsatisfying. The energy from the actors is very good however and is the best thing about this movie. On top of everything else, there are extremely nasty and gruesome kill scenes with ultra-realistic splatter that feel like Fred Vogel suddenly took over the reigns, and the actors don't seem to be reacting to this extreme stuff, as if they are in a different movie.

Italian anthology of four short graphic stories and a wrapper, based on comic books that mix sex and gory horror. In many ways reminiscent of the Japanese Ero-Guro genre except not as extreme (and the girls get the upper hand more often in these stories). It is the same, however, in the sense that it merely provides visual grotesqueries mixed with perverse titillation and nothing else. The stories are very short and only there for the violence, splatter and nudity. So, basically, porn for disturbed people. The wrapper story involves a young man who finds himself at a strange back-street barber where all is not as it seems. There's a short involving a man who encounters Satanic tree-worshipping biker-girls who promptly perform a ritual and tear him apart. There's a short involving infidelity, ultra-violence, high-drama and an alien lover (don't ask). A horror short involving a back-stabbing obsession with Paganini, a devil on a violin whose bow is a hit with the ladies. And finally, an orgy of perversions and splatter involving very extreme necrophilia. All pointless and uninteresting.

Cemetery, The  
I never understood why so many horror movies feature the most obnoxiously stupid, annoying, crass and horny teenager characters. I suppose because they're written by annoying fratboys that think these things are funny. Or perhaps the audience is supposed to cheer when they get slaughtered. Either way, this one is ruined by the characters alone. It uses the Evil Dead template: A bunch of youngsters go into the woods to find a notorious cemetery and film their idiotic ghost-hunting show there. The characters include a fratboy jerk posing as an alpha, his horny puppy follower, and a naive nerd who for some reason also happens to be an annoying jerk. The two girls don't fare much better, and all feel as realistic as porn characters. In any case, the demons don't come out soon enough. The rest is flashback medieval-torture gore, and brutal splattery ripping apart of bodies that both the humans and demons perform on each other. The splatter is over-the-top, practical and done well, and the soundtrack features lots and lots of ripping death metal. But that's the only good thing I can say about this one. With normal characters this could have been OK.

Chainsaw Sally Show Season 2, The  
The goofy fun charm of the first series is gone in this sequel, and H.G. Lewis is nowhere to be found. Instead of dumb fun, it's just dumb, and instead of campy over-the-top nasty splatter, it's just mean-spirited gory trash. Chainsaw Sally has settled in as the clean-up queen of her town, slicing up all wrong-doers no matter how petty their crimes are. Except by now she is just bitchy and sadistic. She lives with her cannibalistic and very horny goth brother, and their pet masochistic sex-toy Busy Bee. When a rival sadist and serial killer arrives in her town, and the local dumb police and nosy reporters start getting everyone all worked up over some unimportant massacres, things get annoying. And then things get personal. The antics at home with her horny brother and sex pet are kinda amusing in a trashy way, but everything else is tedious overlong trash with over-the-top gruesome splatter, endless verbal sadism before the kills, and very graphic chainsaw carnage. It's basically an endless 3 and half hour trashy gore movie cut up into 25-minute 'episodes', and most of the humor is too dumb and juvenile to be funny.

Chainsaw Zombies Redux  
Allegedly once a 27-minute short revisited 10 years later and expanded to 34 minutes, although I am not sure why anyone would do this as it is wholly an unremarkable, unoriginal and uninteresting splatter short. A killer is raised from the dead with blood (we've never heard that one before, right?), and he promptly runs around in a rampage killing a group of campers (ditto). But it's really just another chance for Germans to show endless repetitive scenes of chainsaw mayhem, with limbs, organs and heads flying amidst a bucket of blood.

Charlie's Farm  
Generic and quite dull slasher whose only selling points are the over-the-top brutal kill scenes in the last thirty minutes, and Nathan Jones as a truly scary deranged and deformed giant killer who manages to scare even Kane Hodder (Jason). Otherwise, as mentioned, it's completely generic and very boring for the first hour. Some youngsters stupidly decide to hike in a notorious place that comes with horror stories of a deranged and violent family, obviously ignoring all warnings of disappearing hikers. You know the rest. Features gruesomely realistic head-crushing, jaw-ripping, and genital-chopping, among other things.

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2  
It's incredible how such a bad movie like Laid to Rest with absolutely no creativity, plot or wit could result in a sequel. It just goes to demonstrate why movies like August Underground can become so popular: All you need is extreme gore. It's like porn: At some point they realized that they can skip the plot altogether since people only watch for the sex/gore. This sequel however, commits the confusing crime of actually adding elements of a plot that are never developed. The masked killer from the first movie turns out to have a whole organization behind him, with human helpers, cleanup men, doctors, labs to create weapons, warehouses that serve as kill playgrounds, a network of cover-up agents that somehow manipulate police, and whatnot. What they do, what they want, how they do it and who they are is never explained. Once again, we have stupid victims and omnipotent killers, except this time the cops are even stupider and laughably unrealistic, facing down a killer one by one and approaching the killer without disarming him first. In short, the only thing this movie has to offer is extreme gore: Brutal, extreme, splattery and very graphic damage caused methodically and slowly by sharp knives and superhuman strength, slicing up any and every body-part, especially heads and faces (knives that can cut skulls? whatever...).

Cinderella, The  
Thai horror that starts as a weak black-magic horror film, then becomes worse by turning into a limp slasher. An obnoxious brat of an actor is groomed to success by his witch of a mother who regularly performs dark rituals on him. After a freak accident on set, a supernatural killer comes after the actors one by one. The deaths aren't just slashings though, as the victims are tied up for longer gory acts of violence on them such as removing their skull and squishing their brains, or gradually carving away skin and body parts. The obligatory slasher twist-ending is a bad one.

Coffin Baby (AKA Toolbox Murders 2)  
This one is all about the grisly gore and brutal violence as performed by a variety of tools from a toolbox. A brutal killer that is more killing machine than human is terrorizing Hollywood, killing people by the dozens. One fiery young lady is kept as his pet in his killing factory, and she slowly goes insane while she is both tortured in grisly ways and forced to witness dozens of new victims being carved up. The splatter is close-up and nasty, as performed by saws, hammers, axes, and much more. The police are on the trail, except they are laughably incompetent and don't seem to be doing any real investigating. There's also another inconsequential side-plot about a love triangle and a baby. And that's the whole movie and plot.

Contracted: Phase II  
Similar to the Cabin Fever series, this horror sequel is based on an extreme disease, and the sequel shifts the focus to the gore and gross-outs, losing itself in the process. Not that the first movie was any good whatsoever, since it had an STD from hell showing itself in literally a dozen extremely nasty symptoms within a single day, except both the victim and all her friends brushed it off as it if were a nasty flu. This movie has the victims react a tiny bit more realistically to things like worms coming out of their bodies in a flood of blood, except no one, including the doctors, seemed to have heard of the concept of quarantine, and the CDC is nowhere to be found. As the disease escalates, the plot tries to keep up with completely random motivations for an antagonist, a dumb zombie twist, and chaotic behaviour by everyone involved, making for yet another modern horror movie where the writers seem to spend all their limited brain-power on gross-outs rather than on a plot. Oh well, as long as they thought of a symptom for a disease that involves your eyeball falling out, right?

Corpse Eaters  
Early, terrible Canadian zombie movie with a couple of gleeful gore scenes. The horribly messy plot involves a group of horny teenagers who raise the dead at a cemetery as well as a mortuary and its drunk owner. The dead munch on some guts, eat some eyeballs, and give a girl some bad, bloody dreams but the movie is a messy bore.

Cross Bearer  
There is a scene in this movie where some trashy people in a car are discussing how a movie is supposed to be realistic, and should include a scene like the one were they are just talking in a car. And then the writer tries to be clever and makes them talk about making the movie interesting... by stripping. Seeing as I don't find random breasts interesting, I suppose that's why I found this movie boring. This is a trashy movie about a group of trashy people that make trashy plans amidst trashy goings-on involving drugs, pimps, strippers, whores, crime, lesbians and exploitative abusive men. They're all one-dimensional, there is absolutely no interest in what they want or do, except that there is a very unrealistic and unconvincing fanatically religious killer that decides to get rid of the whole lot of them with a hammer. So there you go: A boring movie about trash that tries to be interesting merely by adding lots of hammer-smashing splatter and random nudity, with a brief dream-sequence and an artsy dissonant soundtrack.

Crossclub: The Legend of the Living Dead  
A terribly cheap German action/horror movie with questionable claims to being a splatter movie. The plot is convoluted and involves a boy who was saved from sacrifice by a cult as a baby, a power-hungry mafia boss, an evil island, lots of military action, and a secret formula that brings back the dead. There's lots of cheesy action with guns, helicopters and grenades, a magical voodoo priest that can disappear, cheap special effects that look like they were drawn on the negative, and the splatter only makes an appearance during the last 20 minutes consisting of lots of gut-munching by zombies.

Curse of Blanchard Hill, The  
One of those movies that start terrible, and just keep accumulating more and more negative points as it goes, constantly finding new ways to be terrible. It's another useless slasher. It tries to be a limp comedy for a while then gives up on that quickly, there's 'atmospheric' grungy sound for every limp kill, and the camera zooms in on the garage-made splatter (mostly blood) for special effect, the fodder for the killer consists of completely random hikers in random scenes, there's limp redneck-exploitation for a little while, slashed boobs for a long while, and there are two 'army-buddy' 'detectives' searching for the killer that somehow act worse and worse as it goes. It's the kind of slasher you wish you wouldn't step on by mistake.

Cute Little Buggers  
I was hoping for more silly fun than this. Aliens visit a farming village with the usual intentions to breed human women. Unfortunately, their weapons appear as cute little rabbits. Cue he gory rabbit attacks and nubile women. Sounds fun right? Except the splatter as well as the rabbits are mostly very bad CGI from the 90s, and the wit is severely lacking, and the tone is off, mixing dramatic sub-plots with goofy campy humor making for an unnecessarily long movie. Features many exploding (CGI) rabbits.

Daddy's Little Girl  
Like Hard Candy, this extremely sadistic movie is repugnant not for technical reasons, but for its hypocrisy. It's one thing to make a movie featuring extreme gore or nastiness, it's quite another to try to justify it with such flimsy characters, corrupt morality and poor writing. The plot is about a father that loses his six-year old daughter, and when he discovers who did it, decides to torture the person for six whole days (40 minutes of on-screen graphic gore and sick, carefully planned sadism). This movie sets up a character with the most heinous crimes possible, just so that another character can let loose with any and every extreme torture device he can think of. The nature of the crimes and the cold way they were done never ring true when it comes to the character portrayed on screen, the way the crimes were revealed is laughably contrived, and the relationship and the cold way the torturer goes about getting his revenge are all artificial as well. In short, the makers of this movie wrote one-dimensional characters and a flimsy plot only to attempt to morally justify graphic sadism and manipulate their audience. In fact, a healthy person should hate both characters equally, as well as this movie.

Dahmer vs. Gacy  
Too-dumb-to-be-fun horror-comedy about a government cloning experiment gone bad, where the worst killers are genetically enhanced and cloned as weapons. Of course, they get out, and go on a killing spree, and various entities send killers after them to put them down, including another experimental killer, ninjas, and a schizophrenic loony receiving messages from a foul-mouthed, manipulative 'god'. Unfortunately it's not as fun as it sounds, most of the humor falls flat or is too juvenile and dumb to be funny, including many satirical jabs at the excited media and the serial-killer groupies (literally). Imagine what actual writers could have done with that... or just watch Natural Born Killers again instead. The tame gore consists mostly of pint of blood thrown around during the killings, although there is a ninja battle where it suddenly gets more splattery, and the ultimate showdown is anticlimactic.

Dark Town  
Empty and dull vampire movie bordering on the gratuitous gore but not satisfactory in that department either. A family, one pregnant girl, local drug gangs, a neighbourhood watch, and a lesbian couple clash one night and feed on each other in a rampage of violence as they all infect each other and start a feeding frenzy. That's it, now you can skip it.

Dawn of the Mummy  
This is one of those cheesy horror movies that some people like to watch just for its entertaining awfulness. It also has the distinction of being the goriest mummy movies of its time (in its uncut version), copying the gore and style of Romero and Fulci zombie movies and it would fit right in with those except that most of the gore is left for the finale, and you have to bear 90 minutes of cheesiness to get there. Some illegal gold diggers come across a tomb in Egypt, but a troupe of models and photographers get in their way of finding the gold. Features an old lady screaming warnings, mummies that rise thanks to bright spotlights, hysterical models, and a man who chews the scenery when he finds gold, until the scenery chews him.

Day of the Dead  
While Dawn of the Dead from 2004 was pretty much a remake in the sense that it used many elements from the original, including the classic shopping mall, this one only stole the name and the only thing it has in common with Romero's classic is that there are zombies, some military personnel, and a domesticated vegetarian zombie in the vein of 'Bub'. Unfortunately, unlike Dawn, this one is a very bad movie, and you know you are in for a crap time when the zombies are sped up like cartoon characters and start crawling on the ceiling. There is no plot or character development either, since the whole movie consists of a bunch of survivors just running from one action scene to another. Humans turn into furious cartoon versions of zombies in unrealistic speed, the laws of physics are discarded repeatedly, characters do endlessly stupid things that don't conform with their situation, zombies behave inconsistently or display superhuman abilities that come and go, and so on. The gore is much higher than Dawn 2004 though, and once the carnage starts, it keeps coming for the duration of the movie, except that it is always brief, mostly CGI-based, and often fake-looking.

Day of the Dead: Bloodline  
I don't know why I bothered... Like the 2008 rip-off, this one uses the original Romero idea of a military base hosting soldiers and scientists, and one smarter pet zombie. The heroine is one of those fantasy characters that only exist in movies: A woman that is also hot and young, also a genius scientist and also a tough fighter. Hunks and other pretty people are carefully placed to draw in the young audience. The events are a mixture of really stupid characters and behaviour, and cliches stolen from other movies without the writers bothering to have them make sense, as long as it all keeps the violence and thrills flowing. The splatter takes places mostly in the first two minutes, and in the last ten, and consists of a lot of unrealistic geysers, greasy over-the-top tearing of flesh, and body parts flying around. Stop ripping off Romero without at least putting some effort into it, guys.

Dead Creatures  
A low-budget zombie movie with a twist: There is no action or horror, only a drama about regular dull people catching a disease that makes them rot slowly and eat other humans. So the (mostly female) youngsters hide and run, killing people and prostituting themselves while an older man tracks them down to locate his missing girl. This premise is actually interesting and I was looking forward to it, but unfortunately there is no plot or interesting characters, and the boring girls just sit around listlessly in between meals. The gore involving butchering and flesh-eating, while not over-the-top nor exploitative, is very prevalent and realistic.

Dead Fetus (Feto Morto)  
Brazilian home-made campy nastiness and splatter in the worst tradition of Troma with added pornography. A gang of metalheads are brutally beating up and killing anyone they meet on the street, smashing baby's heads, feeding guys their own balls, beating them with their own limbs, etc. A local loser with a fetus attached to the side of his head decides he has had enough abuse and goes to the occult to learn martial arts and get his revenge. In between we get some vomit sex with a whore, various bodily functions and fluids, and a priest that snorts cocaine lines literally in the name of Jesus.

Dead Fury  
Crudely animated Evil-Dead homage, like a splatter Army of Darkness with South-Park animation only without the wit. A group of hunters are attacked and possessed by vengeful demons in a forest cabin. An Ash-like character is forced to chop them up into pieces and mounds of gore with various weapons. Most of the movie goes for a monotonous and silly Army-of-Darkness attitude, with the various characters cursing and insulting each other and wisecracking at the demons who try to make preachy speeches. The splatter is way over-the-top but isn't creative or entertaining in a Peter Jackson way. Repetitive and witless.

Deadhunter: Sevillian Zombies  
An extremely silly z-grade zombie movie with a special Deadhunter squad charging money for killing zombies who are overrunning the city. Some scenes are so dumb they're funny like where a man breaks out in a handkerchief dance to confuse the zombies, some are silly entertainment like male strippers eaten by their audience, but the rest, I'm afraid, consists of people shaking their guns at faces painted with green and gothic goo, shaky and dark cameras, lots of uninteresting action and gut & brain munching gore. Of course Lloyd Kaufman makes a cameo.

Dead Life  
Another home-made Romero post-apocalyptic-zombie movie made with friends and a zero budget. A virus breaks out, turning the whole world into zombies while a group of friends try to survive. That's the whole story and it's amateur hour on every front. The acting is terrible featuring teenagers trying to act tough with guns and karate, the lighting is non-existent, the cinematography and editing tries to pull off many tricks but only result in a distracting mess, and the zombie-chewing gore, although gleefully gooey, isn't anything worth searching for and they seem to run out of grue after half the movie. The only stand-out scene is where one guy tries to rape a zombie and loses his pride and joy in graphic detail.

Deadly Detour    
As bad as the worst German underground splatter movies, this is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. Two cars-full of really annoying youngsters serve as fodder for a giant mutated killer in the woods. Most of the movie is spent on banal dialogue, idiotic behaviour, and a one-track obsession with body fluids, alcohol, pot, penises, and sex, and after 10 minutes you simply can't wait to see them butchered. Some basic death metal accompanies the many scenes of butchery involving very gory disemboweling, slow decapitation, impalement, chopping, dicing, and various other splattery deaths, all leading to a climax of butchery involving a bus-load of... well I won't ruin the surprise. That is, if for some reason you intend to watch it anyways. Also included as the third movie in the triple-movie collection called "Deranged Killers".

Dead Meat (1993)  
Amateurish campy serial killer movie featuring a sloppy killer who drags everyone that comes next to his house into the basement for some gory dismemberment, each time cutting out a different body part and feeding the leftovers to his pet fish. The bumbling policemen provide more comedy as they try to track down the killer while ignoring valid clues for stupid reasons. The gore is mediocre but the camera gleefully zooms in on the carnage for long takes and the gore becomes more and more campy as the killer machine-dries a decapitated head and cuts a delivery man into pizza slices. The attempted comedy is let down by poor acting. For fans of home-made horror only.

Dead Next Door  
A cheap, horribly inept, but very gory Romero rip-off about a doctor that develops a virus to animate the living. Before you know it, zombies have taken over the planet, zombie police squads are trying to keep some minimal level of control, their hands full with zombie masses, zombie cultists, zombie rights demonstrators and zombies trying to rent Dawn of the Dead while attacking the video rental clerk.

Dear God No!  
Another extreme retro-grindhouse throwback, this one working hard on the authenticity of the visual details, but completely undermined by terrible acting and nonsensical writing that falls apart for the climax. We have nihilistic bikers that get off on raping nuns and then tearing them apart with motorcycle wheels. Then a chaotic gunfight with topless machine-gun wielding biker strippers in Nixon masks and a dare to drink the most disgusting drink the bartender can come up with. Then a home invasion with endlessly inept scenes of abuse thanks to the bad acting and bad pacing, which all falls apart in a completely incoherent climax involving a mad Nazi scientist, over-the-top nasty rapes and murders, a big-foot monster, mutated undead relatives, drugs and genetic poisons, and a lot of splattery disemboweling. This is no Devil's Rejects.

Death Academy (AKA School Night Massacre)  
A cliche-ridden slasher from Sweden, only with over-the-top gory deaths. Some very dumb teenagers investigate a serial killer, get locked up in the school, and lots of chases and deaths ensue while they're trying to guess who the killer is. The gore includes axes to the head, decapitations, smashed faces, acid, etc. but doesn't provide much entertainment either.

Death Row  
A document crew and a gang of criminals both wander for different reasons into an abandoned haunted island prison that has a very violent past. One by one, they get attacked by vicious evil spirits while also fighting each other. The deaths are splattery, somewhat more gory then your average slasher, sometimes involving some radical chopping up of bodies. But the characters are never believable and always spotlessly clean and made up, the dialogue is stock cliches and the plot is as uninspired cut-n-paste horror as it gets.

Defenceless: A Blood Symphony  
Revenge exploitation that should go well with Thriller and I Spit on Your Grave except the gimmick here is that there is no dialogue, only music and screams. This approach works nicely sometimes for this movie, but not always. A stupid, stubborn woman refuses to sell her property repeatedly even though they brutally kill her husband, lesbian lover and then go after her daughter. After she is raped, beaten and extirpated, she comes back from the ocean like some kind of mermaid ghost, is dressed in bra, pink shoes and pigtails by some child, goes on a revenge rampage, and eats every nasty thing she comes across. Until the revenge scenes, the gore and acting don't seem to match the brutality, but then we are treated to nasty torture scenes with pliers, chopping, and penis slicing. Brutal visual exploitation, but somehow never gripping or disturbing.

Derangement Transtorno Mental  
Spanish disjointed transgressive horror that thinks throwing everything together and the kitchen sink will make for a more effective movie. There are three primary character 'tales' interwoven together, but each of them can go on random tangents. There's a young girl haunted by her dead mother who recently died and vowed to control her and invade her life until the evil inside her is eradicated. But that doesn't stop her from going into a downward spiral of self-degradation in the seediest sex locations and trashiest sex encounters, including a horny priest with excess body fluids, as well a gory killing spree with eye-gouging, always with an intervening mother who adds to the violent chaos. There's a goth-girl who breaks up with her boyfriend to try something different, promptly gets involved with some ridiculously violent criminals, and goes for full-on necrophilia. And there's the older woman with a terminal brain cancer who goes on a surreal (i.e. nonsensical) journey of mystical encounters, surreal tumor-inspired body-horror nightmares, and other random stuff as her sanity and life deteriorate in a different way. A strange man with a mysterious supernatural suitcase visits all of them. The acting and editing are terrible.

Devil's Grove  
For the millionth time, a group of oversexed youngsters serve as fodder for a killer, this time in an abandoned amusement park, which is just about the only difference between this movie and the million Friday the 13th clones, except for a brainless plot twist about the killer. Of course, since this is such a copycat and it is 2008, it also shoehorns in some torture scenes for no reason other than it is trendy. The setup is that once upon a time, a psycho working in the amusement park went berzerk and killed everyone in gruesome ways in revenge for the owner firing him after catching him red-handed with his teenage daughter. Now, a group of killer-obsessed youths are making a documentary... The gore and torture is mostly condensed into the climax and is nasty, including eyeball-gouging, extreme penis abuse and other gratuities. Braindead, instant trash-bin fodder.

Dream Home  
Ridiculous Hong Kong slasher with gratuitous nasty gore and gruesome violence. It seems we are running out of motivations for a killer nowadays, seeing as this one posits a killer who kills tenants, neighbours, visitors, and prospects just to ensure she gets the flat she always wanted at the price she can afford. This could have been turned into a satire, but there is no satire to be found in this movie which only seems to have nasty death scenes on its mind, along with a back-story to make the killer more human and sympathetic (unsuccessful). The gore is extremely well done and gruesome, the kills are as gratuitously nasty and realistic as they can get, with people slashing their own throats to remove a choker, pregnant women getting their face vacuumed, eye-gouging, disemboweling, and many others. The cinematography is excellent and rich, but the casting and writing make for a ridiculous movie.

Drive-In Horrorshow  
Yet another low-budget horror anthology. This one starts endearingly in a campy Tales of the Darkside tone with some ghoulish post-apocalyptic hosts showing some twisted features for our enjoyment. But the shorts themselves leave much to desired. First there is a sadistic torture movie that does nothing with its non-existent plot and is only interested in a simple twisted form of female empowerment. The second short is more a fun throwback to old horror shorts involving a kid, a monster in the closet, and a moral twist, but it is very predictable and simple. But at least it has more fun in mind. The third short is only interested in gruesome gore as a man literally falls apart. Good extreme gore, but no work done on the plot once again. Why is it only gore OR story, but never both? The fourth gets a little more interesting with a psycho-killer mystery as told by innocent kids, but the ending is a banal disappointment. The fifth is instantly forgettable but very gory backwoods cannibal horror with no story once again. Not enough meat to chew on.

Dr. Shock's Grindhouse of Horrors  
Bottom of the barrel 'anthology', featuring the same troupe of amateurs acting as different kinds of retards in three tedious short films that somehow go on forever. There's a fine line between over-the-top bad acting and camp, and this one mostly falls into the former category. The uninspired films involve: A very annoying serial killer running a bed & breakfast that turns guests into jerky, a group of moonshine-selling hillbillies that come across a whorehouse of vampires, and a journalist that sends a group of stoners to get pictures of an alleged killer gardener. They're all really just an excuse to kill one person after another while acting retarded. The wrapper features some annoying guy clowning around while slowly taking apart the head of a guy who asked to 'cut some off the top'. There are also about 3-4 gleefully splattery scenes that aren't much to write home about, involving the carving up or exploding of bodies. Just bad.

Evil Dead (2013)  
With the exception of Piranha and Dawn of the Dead (which wasn't really a remake), I don't think there have been any worthwhile remakes, and yet they keep coming. This one is praised by many but it is actually a very poor movie. They took a whole bunch of scenes and ideas from the first two movies and threw them together as if that would be enough for fans of the original, yet there has obviously been no thought towards making it cohere. E.g. the forest rape is changed as if it now has a purpose instead of the brutal chaos of the original, and then it is forgotten, and the evil behaves randomly as the writers just throw everything they can think of at the audience. The movie is also extremely stupid. For example, the evil is unleashed by an honest mistake in the original; here, there are bright red warnings in English in the book, and the kid goes out of his way to do exactly the opposite for no reason. But if you watch the movie, you can see where the focus was: It's messy and makes no sense because the writers's goal was only to provide an endless stream of gruesome violence, as the youngsters unrealistically tear each other apart and inflict gruesome physical violence in 30 different ways, until the over-the-top splattery finale involving a chainsaw. Of course, a movie like this doesn't know how to end, so it throws in several endings as well. An unworthy mess that exploits fans of the original.

Evil Feed  
What a mess. The biggest problem with this Canadian piece of madness is that it can't decide what genre it wants to be. One minute it's extremely silly comedy about a restaurant run by cannibals, then it's a serious martial-arts action flick, then splatter-trash with dismembered penises galore, then horror, then back to comedy. Some characters chew the scenery in campy roles, others play it straight, and their motivations or plans never make any sense. The restaurant somehow combines sex and sex-trafficking with martial-art shows where the loser is eaten by anyone who gets a whim to bite into human flesh, including the fighters themselves, owners and guests. There's lots of sex and horny women, dismembered penises are a running joke, there's splattery face-skinning, disemboweling and decapitation galore, and the fight scenes vary from amateurishly weak and badly lit, to brutal beatings, campy fighting freaks, to fancy flying kicks and skills that seem to come and go.

Evil - In the Time of Heroes  
Sequel to the Greek low-budget silly zombie movie with a bigger budget, only this time it's a mess. This is possibly in the top ten most incoherent movies of all time. There is an historical angle this time about some ancient Greek warriors who first encountered the zombie-making evil, and their 'story' is cut together with the modern zombie survivors and incarnations of the heroes. Anything beyond this description can only be as incoherent as the movie. There's a lot of goofy dialogue and scenes that want to be funny but are only confusing, random fight scenes between zombies, soldiers, anarchists and ancient warriors with unrealistic, CGI-enhanced over-the-top splatter, random supernatural abilities like faster-than-bullet speed and Jedi-knight fighting abilities that seem to come and go, completely random flashes forward, backwards and sideways, a supernatural climax against the evil forces of light that is too incoherent to even describe, an appearance by Billy Zane as a Jedi, and people that come and go, disappear or resurrect at random. A terrible mess.

Evil Sister 2  
An incestuous father and his daughter are on a road trip looking for a lost sister who is on a killing rampage, using a psychic bond, handcuffs and a roaming Tarot-card-reader to track her down. Low-budget movie tries to build atmosphere and offers plenty of nudity but is simply too weak and badly acted to be of interest. The gore consists of three scenes of endless stabbing that are more like extended slasher death scenes and are nothing to make a gorehounds day, but it gleefully goes on and on with closeups.

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds  
While the first was deeply flawed but featured some intense energy, this sequel drops the only thing that made it worth watching and went for idiotic camp, gross-outs and outrageous characters and scenes instead, with some of the stupidest writing I've ever seen. A biker chick and her gang are out for revenge against whomever killed her sister in the first movie, but they get caught up with some survivors and random city folk who are being butchered by the rampaging monsters in broad daylight. In the stupidest plot development, they decide to risk their lives to get into a jail barricaded by some nut job instead of driving away. On the way we get midget wrestlers, cat rape, a grandma that is slowly melting and falling apart, a completely idiotic and gratuitous baby-killing scene, some really lame character introduction scenes like something out of a bad reality TV show, a midget with a huge penis, boobs, and the centerpiece: An endlessly stupid monster autopsy scene where every poke causes body fluids to erupt all over the female cast, including gases, blood, semen and slime. There is only one or two over-the-top splatter scenes, the rest being forced gross-outs. The climax ending is an inspired piece of madness, but everything up to that is too dumb to even be campy fun.

Feast III: The Happy Finish  
Part two ended mid-battle in a city overrun by monsters and this continues where it left off, pitching the odd gang of humans against monsters in various settings, taking them down to the sewers where for no logical reason, humans have also mutated into flesh-hungry weirdos. This serves more splatter than part two, with endless ripping apart of bodies in various ways, and there's a gross-out scene of monster rape and impregnation of a human. It's more campily entertaining, has some funny scenes in the way it dispatches its ass-kicking heroes, and its less stupid than part 2, but that's like giving 20 more points to an IQ of 20, and the writing doesn't even seem like it's trying to make sense anymore, with horrible cinematography and pointless night-vision and strobe-lights making it impossible to understand what's going on.

Fistful of Brains  
Amateurish Western zombie movie. Problem is, everything about this is so sloppy and limp, it feels like a pack of kids made it. A snake oil peddler comes into town selling a mysterious healing drink that promptly turns the whole town into flesh-eating zombies. The peddler's brother is not too pleased with the abuse of this magical potion and comes to wage war. In the meantime, the sheriff's daughter has a horny half-brother, a violent dad, and a town full of zombies to deal with. The lighting, sound, cinematography and especially the acting are all atrocious, and the gory guts-and-body-parts munching is slightly over-the-top for a movie of this kind, but is nothing to write home about either.

Formulaic slasher with weak acting, and cliched cops and reporters hunting a serial killer who kills teenage couples after some gratuitous sex. Suspects pop up while the killer has his way with the dead girls. Provides some weak slashings with blood splatter, and two or three over-the-top splatter scenes that alone made this movie memorable for gorehounds: A realistic extended beheading, and some gory throat slashings.

Flesheater (AKA Zombie Nosh)  
Yet another Romero zombie rip-off with a derivative script, horrible acting, plenty of body parts and red stuff, and gratuitous nudity. A group of teenagers party in the woods and nearby farms on Halloween while a farmer uncovers a zombie buried under a tree. What follows is a dull stream of scenes where people run away and provide zombie snacks with plenty of limb and intestine rippings.

Flesh for the Beast  
A horror-splatter movie filmed like a porno using the cliched haunted-house-studied-by-scientists plot. As the students of the paranormal roam the mansion in search for evidence, the owner seems to have his own agenda. Full-frontal nude sluts seduce the roaming victims, then over-the-top gore ensues. Repeat and rinse.

The description promises a dark surreal movie, but the actual result is boring gornography. Six dead girls crawl around under the floors, between walls and into strange rooms, all areas covered in filth, gore and skeletons in one way or another, having flashbacks to their death by a serial killer who seems to be living in the house. It's an after-death nightmare, the girls seem interchangeable, all behave like zombies, exhibiting only faint echoes of panic or revulsion over the ordeal they went through and are going through. Although the movie started like a claustrophobic nightmare like Tsukamoto's Haze, it soon becomes obvious where the real focus is. Rather than a surreal movie, I got a movie structured like a porno, where each girl gets her 'scene' of having to crawl through sewage and rotten corpses, eat worm-covered food, or panic over her missing intestines, her flashback to her death having nothing on her current ordeal, except she takes it all passively, and they all meet for the 'orgy' scene at the end. There is zero character study, no plot, and nothing of interest. Piling on the grime and atmosphere does not a surreal movie make.

Forbidden World (AKA Mutant)  
Roger Corman produced this Alien rip-off after the equally abysmal Galaxy of Terror that featured a woman raped by a space-worm. This one features some kind of space-marshal who is woken out of hibernation by a cheesy robot whenever there is a crisis. After some space-shooting, he's off to a planet where scientists are experimenting on genetic creations, one of which promptly starts to metamorphose and attack everything in the facility. There's mutating flesh-protein-goo like something from The Thing, melting humans, space-monsters with huge teeth that are nice enough to communicate in English via a computer before impaling you with a phallic tentacle, and somewhere in between all this, our hero finds time to make it with two naked sexy 80s-space-chicks that throw themselves on him one after another. The climax features some literal hands-on graphic surgery.

Forest of Demons, The  
This Swiss movie is really scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as underground splatter is concerned. It takes place in that location that almost all home-made amateur splatter movies are filmed: The forest. A family and some tourists on vacation are staying in a cabin in the woods, when a young teenager awakens some pathetic demons with some fire-crackers (huh?). Lots of chases and gory mayhem ensue, except it's limp amateur-hour all around: The acting, dialogue, lighting, camera-work, the non-existent story, and even the gore, which consists mainly of lots of intestines from the butcher shop under people's clothes, some throat-ripping and face-eating, and two mad women, one with a chainsaw.

Forever Dead  
Yet another low-budget home-made zombie movie featuring young people running around in the woods fighting zombies. I realize this is the easiest way to shoot a horror movie, but don't you realize there are hundreds of movies already like this? In this case, the origin of the plague is a rabbit that escaped from a laboratory. For over an hour, various groups of people in the area are chased and attacked by the rapidly spreading zombies, with some 'scientists' trying to contain it by chasing the rabbit, until the survivors finally get together in a house, and this is when we finally realize that writers were possibly involved in the movie, with uninteresting laboratory flashbacks, and some gruesome home-made experiments on a zombie to find out what can kill it. There are dozens of scenes of flesh-eating, intestines, flesh ripped out, brains, etc. but these can't hold a candle to the horrifying cinematography, sound levels, music-selection, and acting. And let's not forget the zombie rabbit puppet on a string.

Frisian Terror  
Well, what can one say about a movie that knows how bad it is and comes with its own criticism? The director obviously studied Troma movies (the Troma book about making movies is even shown in one scene) and this would fit right in. An evil medieval King's skull is searched after by an evil Russian general, but a Dutch archaeologist keeps it to himself, feeling its evil power, and starts his own cult. Random passersby and cult followers are often punished or killed in gruesome ways, leading to an amusing argument between the cultists about not having anyone left to worship the king. To keep things colorful, there's a devilish lusty girl with sharp teeth, an actor who is obviously having fun with his role of retarded cultist, punishments involving sodomy impalement, an immoral drug-dealer drawing graffiti on the king's portrait, and movie critic torture. The uncreative but pervasive gore is borderline splatter and campy.

Gateway Meat, The  
Another one of these new-wave, plotless, brutal gornography movies a la August Underground and Slaughtered Vomit Dolls. A group of Satanists which includes a husband and wife, their little daughter, and a man who sniffs powdered glass, all torture, rape, mutilate and kill random people while talking about portals and the power left behind by their dead Satanic father in the basement. The gore includes a wide variety of realistically nasty tortures like eyeball cutting, razor-blade swallowing, glass up someone's nose, spine-bashing, face-carving and much more. But the movie doesn't go anywhere or have anything to say. The only unique touch is the disturbing inclusion of a little girl in the nasty murders and some artistic cinematography. At least this one has characters, but it's one step away from being pure gornography.

Ghastly Ones, The  
Andy Milligan's entry into the notorious Video Nasty list is one of his goriest movies, hence the banning. Although it contains a couple of kill scenes that could be classified as gleefully splattery, as usual for Milligan, they are short, cheap, unrealistic, laughable and disappointing for gorehounds. The rest of the movie is even worse: A killer is chopping up couples to provide the movie with an opening murder that has nothing to do with anything else, then hunts a trio of couples, all made to stay in their dead father's house in order to inherit his fortune. The majority of the movie consists of random, painfully dull chatter, bad filming and even worse acting by a bunch of actors in random costumes, all committed to celluloid on old film stock with an endlessly loud pilfered soundtrack. One character gets to play the retard with a hunchback and three protruding teeth, all of which seem to shift places during filming, which you notice because the film is so boring.

Ghoul School  
I really wanted to enjoy this one more, seeing as they were obviously trying to reproduce the fun of movies like Nuke 'em High and Revenge of the Living Dead despite their low budget. But the overall execution was simply too amateurish and weakly uninspired, making the comedy fall flat. Some ex-students invade the high-school janitor's basement on the assumption that he is hoarding some kind of drug, and they release a chemical into the water pipes. A couple of horror-gore movie geeks, a heavy metal band and its silly groupies, a cliched closed-minded preachy principal, and the basketball team with a militant coach, all have to run for their lives as the swim team become infected and turn into human-munching ghouls. The ghouls are just dudes and chicks in swimsuits and blue paint, and the action is lame, but the cheap, home-made 'splatter' is over-the-top as bodies are ripped apart graphically.

Gone the Way of Flesh  
This is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. In fact, this is the spores from the mould that grows on the dregs of the bottom the barrel after it has been thrown out and sat in the garbage can for 6 months. There's some guy torturing and killing girls that go to a concert of some band nobody cares about. Except the movie wants you to care about it, so they mention the band 5487 times, and force you to sit through several of their endless numbers in their entirety. Then the rest of their friends get to act out badly cliched and limp versions of detective, chief, drug-dealer and narc in scenes that never actually gel into a story, while they intercut scenes of lesbian porn, stripping, and some splattery but dull dismembering, feeding of limbs to a meat grinder, eye-gouging, and acid-gut torture. Don't bother.

Goregoyles 2      
This second horror anthology from Canada ups the gore factor slightly over the first duo, but delivers even worse performances and writing. The first half-length movie 'Clean' starts as a tedious movie about a psychopath who joins a club of psychopaths, seemingly with ulterior motives. The bad actors try to outdo each other in badness and only end up chewing the scenery along with the female actresses who are served as fodder for the gratuitous and tedious sadism. Matters break down, leading to fights between the psychos, giving the special effects people plenty to do. The second movie 'The Walkers' changes pace for a slow almost goreless descent into madness and cannibalism in the woods as cops chase down some criminals into the wild and run out of food. The writing and dialogue are so bad in this one that the movie soon turns into a laugh-out-loud joke.

Gospel of Taddeo, The (Il Vangelo Secondo Taddeo)  
Italian obscure piece of John Waters-esque home-made trash. In an anarchist city overrun with random violence, a man takes on the holy vow, preaching values and resurrecting the dead while attacking criminals with a huge cross with sickles attached to each end, waiting for the savior of the city. The movie is really just about showing a series of ultra-violent, gory and nasty scenes though, including sudden chopping, axing, scalping and disemboweling with the ultra-cheap gore consisting of flying ketchup and meat leftovers, and then there's some nasty anal gimp sodomy, rape, drugs, some weirdo dancing perverts in a pool, and more trashy chaos. As if the movie isn't unwatchable enough, the camera is as purposely shaky and jerky as it gets, producing headaches.

Guinea Pig: The Devil's Experiment
See Extreme Movies.

Guinea Pig: Flowers of Flesh and Blood  
This second attempt at a realistic snuff film goes over-the-top as a gleefully twisted Japanese man kidnaps a woman, injects her with drugs, and then slowly proceeds to carve her up and cut off all her limbs, then disembowel her in 'artistic' ways to show the 'beauty' of her flesh and blood. The endless close-up gore, despite the special effect giveaways, is quite realistic and very sickening. After it's done, the demented man shows us his museum of body-part art.

Guinea Pig: Devil Woman Doctor  
A very silly sequel features various vignettes, usually in bad or gory taste with a transvestite 'doctor' as a tour guide. People's heads explode when they get upset, a smorgasbord of cooked human body-parts is sampled, a rotten dead man is embarrassed about the state of his body but his girlfriend is nice to him, a man who sweats blood is cured, a mobile tattoo is removed at the cost of skinning the whole patient, live excrement and intestines are displayed, etc.

Guinea Pig: Android of Notre Dame  
An insane dwarf scientist experiments on body parts and cadavers of young girls in order to heal his dying sister. A crooked businessman and his girl supply him with bodies but when they get in his way, he finds a more direct way to make them useful. Lame gore and sound effects, none of the extremes of the other Guinea Pigs, and the re-animation of body parts was done much better in Re-animator.

Guinea Pig: Lucky Sky Diamond  
A couple kidnap a girl, abuse her in various ways while filming her, then they drug her and perform brain surgery on her, playing around with her body reactions as they poke inside her brain and extract a drug. Then they all get high, dress up and go insane, stabbing and slicing each other in a drugged rampage while the girl's intestines fall out. Annoying endless screaming and twisting camera angles.

Hack Job  
There's a bit of everything in here, but it's a whole lot of annoying, endless, incoherent nothing. It's one of those bad movies that finds new depths of terribleness, where you feel you have been through enough torture, only to find out you still have 80 minutes to go. It's supposedly an anthology of camp-horror stories, one about Nazis and a mummy, another about an alien that eats an audience, an an insane killer of televangelists. But it's really just a random sequence of very bad and unfunny sketches, a typically over-the-top GWAR appearance with campy ultra-violence, random home-made fight scenes and really cheap gore, people in terrible costumes, random horror creatures and sex, lots of gratuitous breasts, some scattered killings with bad splatter effects, and lots of silly people trying to chew the scenery. It's not a good sign when the most amusing scene in the movie is a scene with Lloyd Kaufman at Troma having an attack of the runs.

Cheap, home-made homage to horror by a couple of kids. Three brothers are living alone at home and experience violent hallucinations. Various mysterious figures and monsters from horror movies (including Freddy Krueger and Chucky) appear in their visions to torture and kill them (and their cat) in various ways. There is some laughably bad acted drama concerning rivalry between brothers, love for their mom and their cat. The violence is borderline splatter, but too amateurish to make an impact.

Hatchet II  
In the tradition of slasher sequels, this one continues one second after the first movie, with a survivor of the massacre running away, only to confront the monster again by the end of the movie. Except it's a different actress who can't act, and the reasoning for going back to the swamp and taking a whole boatload of people with her to die is preposterously dumb for everyone involved. A dumb blonde pair of boobs is included as some kind of hunter, the lame humor falls terribly flat on its face, but all of this lameness exists just so they can pull out the most over-the-top splattery deaths they can think of. There is an extended chainsaw that cleaves two men at once, slowly. There is a stupid scene featuring a slowly hammered face that takes a couple of minutes while his friend doesn't even bother to shoot. Intestines are used as weapons, heads sliced in half from various angles, all done before in other movies, but the special effects team have fun with it and take it over the top. Unfortunately, this is not even at the level of the previous movie that was trying to entertain with its schlocky homages and gore, this is a movie too full of itself and its cast to notice that it isn't funny.

The over-the-top splatter clip within the movie 'Found' expanded to a full-length movie, as made by some people involved in that movie, but, evidently without the focus of the director/writer that made Found as effective as it was. In other words, this throws out the interesting bits and expands on the trash instead. Retro-grindhouse is really just an attempt by modern sicko film-makers weaned on trash to pretend that they made a much cooler 80s cult movie. The big difference is that 70s and 80s movie-makers were typically actually trying to make a movie instead of just using celluloid as a canvas for the fantasies and images in their head. Case in point, this movie, that conjures a serial killer, then tries to give him as many sicko fetishes and behaviours as possible without caring whether it ever makes minimal 'sense' psychologically-speaking in order to create a compelling character. So here we have a guy who was brought up by a cartoonishly abusive mother and a horny sister, keeping him in a cage and feeding him bloody rabbit heads. The result? A fetish for having sex with female decapitated heads and eating their eyeballs, several of such very graphic and repetitive scenes taking up the majority of the film in between the much more interesting and amusing trashy relationship between a girl and her bum musician boyfriend. The killer's methods are too over-the-top nasty to be effective as a psychological horror device, serving only as gornography, and then they also made him randomly sadistic and torture a guy as well for a nonsensical climax. Which means this is a movie about the director, not about a serial killer.

Headless Eyes, The  
X-rated 70s grindhouse through and through. A desperate artist gets his eye gouged out during a robbery and goes insane. He starts a killing spree just to gouge out his victim's eyes and use them in an art project that is his life's work, while babbling constantly in a deranged manner. It's not as gory as you might think (imagine what Fulci would have done with this even back then), but there is enough graphic eye-gouging and eyeballs to make this count as a gory grindhouse flick. What counts here is the deranged performance by the killer, the seedy, gritty look of the film, and the disturbed soundtrack. A pity it doesn't have more to offer beyond this though. The character arcs don't move much, and conclude on a sudden dead end.

Hell Asylum  
I've seen this one twice and I still can't remember it or having seen it. A group of lame and bitchy girls are made to stay in a haunted house as part of a reality TV show, only the hauntings turn out to be more than tricks and special effects. Boring, no nudity, and borderline gore that seems to be made up of spaghetti with sauce and some bones.

Home-made Hellraiser type movie about a supernatural man from hell who likes to pluck eyeballs and is in love with a woman whose abusive father he killed. There is a nonsense plot about souls, a tattooed cousin, policemen and a shrink all investigating this phenomenon who is haunting Melissa and killing her boyfriends, and an irrelevant rape scene involving some lame but nasty tongue and genital mutilation. The occasional splatter is weak, and the acting is the worst I've seen this side of hell.

Hellraiser IV: Bloodline  
Thanks to the very troubled production and number of unofficial versions of this movie and the amount of people that worked on it, the result is a mess that feels like it was pulled in several directions all at once. The scope is more epic this time, feeling like one of those vampire movies that span centuries, telling of the long feud between various forces of evil, the maker of the puzzle box that opens the gateway to hell, and his descendants, some of which picked up the war against evil by trying to invent another box that will stop Pinhead, a demoness and the Cenobites. The movie ranges from historical settings to a futuristic sci-fi ship where a descendant is attempting a dangerous and final experiment. The story and tone are both choppy though, thanks to the aforementioned issues. The gore is still there, but technically it is not an extreme splatterfest anymore as in previous outings, and is more of a series of gruesomely violent scenes with rubbery effects and blood which gives the impression of being a gorefest. Seeing as the special effects person came from the Elm Street movies, this isn't surprising. The centerpiece is the gruesome and rubbery joining of twins' heads, which are later also used as a bizarre method of killing. Also includes the usual gruesome hook-skinning, and a gory ripping apart of a robot.

Hellraiser: Revelations  
Eight sequels later (yes, eight), and what have we come to? A very very tired and laughable rehash. This one sticks to the original ideas of the puzzle-box that opens a gateway to hell offering extreme & gruesome torture presented as a way of life, telling the story of another vicious person that escapes this hell and is brought back to this world via murders and blood. In fact it seems to think that this going back to roots is enough. Even the originals didn't make much sense, and not only does this one not improve on it, it just splices together the elements of the original in a way that makes even less sense. For example, what do the Cenobites want? They seem to change their minds often from wanting flesh for torture, instant death or ripping apart of people that call them, to recruitment of more Cenobites, a nice philosophical chat, or using flesh for feeding. Similar inconsistencies plague the powers of the box, as well as the personalities of the victims. In addition, it features laughable acting and dialog, copy-paste writing, and bland actors (including the replacement for Pinhead). The gruesome hook-gore, skinning and scenes of bodies being nailed or torn apart is pretty much back (in an unconvincing way), making this probably the goriest sequel in a long time. Except that it's all completely inept.

Hell's Highway  
Amateurish and dumb Hitcher wannabe with a goth-girl as a psychopathic devil killing everyone on the road. You know the drill: A group of over-sexed, over-drugged teenagers drive on the road and battle it out with the devil as they die one by one. Joe Castro made the special effects and serves a couple of over-the-top gore scenes involving head-splitting, body-dismembering and disemboweling by a car.

Hi-8 (Horror Independent 8)  
Often compared to V/H/S, but only in the sense that it is an anthology that embraces low-tech SOV horror. Otherwise, it isn't about found-footage, but about eight underground horror directors having fun with the format. Unfortunately, this one is mostly a parade of bad acting, bad sound, inept writing or wasted ideas. There's a dull wrapper story about some three youngsters trying to make a horror movie that encounter a real horror that comes out of left field; An OK but forgettable entry by Tim Ritter about a wife that joins her serial-killing husband in his hobby, with a twist and relatively higher gore quota for Ritter; A potentially good entry by Koch about an alien invasion via meteor that features a splattery transformation scene, but which is too short; A short about a man that finds a lost SOV nasty splatter movie and becomes obsessed with it; A silly and campy short about action-heroes, zombies and a troupe of doomed senior citizens; An entry by Seaver about stalkers and rape where he does his usual retarded humor and campy characters; A cliched horror short by Sheets about a haunted DJ with only some brief gore; A wasted idea with terrible acting about an insecure girlfriend who can't watch horror movies but has a dark secret of her own; And finally, a time-bending slasher involving a guy, his girlfriend, a fight, and a camcorder.

House of the Living Dead, The - The Injection 2
Obscure Italian one-hour splatter movie by Maurizio Quarta. A man is performing gruesome experiments with skulls and eyeballs, injecting himself with experimental fluids for some reason or another, turning himself into various monsters and back again. He then roams a big old house, attacking anyone that wanders into it (which seems to be a lot of people). Brains and guts are spilled in graphic detail, and then sometimes eaten, faces mutate, and there is a wide variety of gruesome eyeball abuse that would make Fulci proud. Amateurish incoherent nonsense.

Human Nature  
It's pretty obvious by now that all these low-budget 'horror' movies filming torture scenes in the basement are basically just the film-makers' version of porn for sadists. Most of these trashy things have the killer chewing the scenery. This movie, however, makes him a polite, soft-spoken and very mild-mannered yuppie with an office job and a wife. Somehow this makes it even less believable. Not that yuppies never became killers, but the bursts of extreme sadism just seem like a fake, barely thought-out gimmick. 'Look, here's an ordinary man, now here he is being vile while speaking softly, isn't that something?'. Whatever. Somehow his neglected frustrated wife doesn't know (that's actually believable), and in between many banal conversations, he goes down and tortures his latest female victim that he picked up, with various house tools, and the gory nastiness comes courtesy of Ryan Nicholson. There's a final twist that's just so silly it's unintentionally hilarious. A waste of time.

Just another gornography movie that takes a page from the book of August Underground and presents 96 minutes of one extreme sadistic or gory act after another performed by a bunch of obnoxious, laughing sadists. There is no plot, just a steady stream of victims (some of them really annoying trashy youngsters on a hike that are par for the course in Ahlbrandt movies) and repulsive scenes. Anything and everything goes, from gruesome brutal torture, splattery genital mutilation, to layers of emotional abuse performed by vile people, or rape combined with all the above together, always some new vile extreme thing on screen as the people involved try to come up with more new things to shock and disturb the audience with. There is no point. It has no plot or character, like a porno, therefore it's not even a horror movie, except when thoughts creep in about why the film-makers and actors are enjoying this so much. I only felt sad that Linnea Quigley was in this trash.

Inner Depravity 1 & 2    
Two plotless, splatter serial-killer shorts that are only notable because of the ruckus they caused in Canada. Otherwise, the movies are quite dull gornography affairs showing a series of images and scenes of a sick killer torturing, raping, killing, mutilating, disemboweling, etc his female victims in no particular order, also punching their face with a set of knives and engaging in necrophilia, all set to a pounding industrial soundtrack with a couple of pretentious intertitles thrown in. That is, unless you have an interest in splatter or special effects for their own sake, since the movies were supposedly intended as showcases for special effects. Allegedly, an actual pathologist believed some of the gore to be real, leading to charges of obscenity, which is either a sad comment on his pathology skills, or praise for Rémy Couture's abilities.

German underground gore often feels like it's scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality, but this one feels like the dregs after a scraping. An ordinary dude snaps and goes on a killing spree, while a psychologically unstable cop tracks him down. The movie is never believable for a second and never transcends the feel of two guys filming a home-made movie in their back yard. I suppose there's a reason why cops didn't make appearances in older German splatter flicks. Some guy with papers on his home desk doesn't quite work. In any case, there's amateur and CGI splatter involving gushing stabbings, head-smashing and choking with intestines, and the movie tries to liven things up for a climactic chase as the two amateurs try really hard to emulate big action movie cliches.

It's a Beautiful Day  
Japanese teenage serial killer flick with an international cast, brutal gory kills, and a surprising supernatural twist. Everything about it is terrible or obnoxious however. The first thing that requires a comment is the performance of the primary killer who is gleefully and offhandedly sadistic and disgustingly smug about it, and it seems to come disturbingly natural to the actor. The rest of the actors are quite poor and also weighed down by incomprehensibly thick accents. Barring the unexpected supernatural twist which is handled in a clunky way, the story is just another slasher flick with more-obnoxious-than-usual teenagers encountering a group of sloppy young killers led by an alpha killer, with no law-enforcement in sight. Illogically, there isn't much fighting back either, and much sadistic fun is had in surprisingly brutal axe choppings, face-smashings, and inner-ear mutilations. 100% unpleasant with no redeeming feature in sight.

Jakob's Wife  
Very under-developed feminist-vampire genre-mish-mash. A vampire enters the life of a minister's wife who has been diminished by her husband for years. Vampiricism comes in as a metaphor for a most childish form of feminism: selfishness and self-expression. Characters constantly make heavy-handed speeches about the evil Christian husband repressing the poor woman, while murder and blood-drinking stand for freedom. Mixed messages anyone? The few scenes of blood-letting are gleefully over-the-top geysers. There is no subtlety here and the movie is worse than feminist: it reduces its characters to caricatures, and treats its audience as idiots. In addition, the confused tone is all over the place, shifting from creepy horror drama suddenly to goofy woke comedy with a ridiculous vampire. The final two seconds is the only funny scene. This one needed a lot more work done on the writing.

Jengo Hooper  
Near-plotless, atmospheric, psychedelic gorenography that belongs in the same category as Lucifer Valentine movies. It's not as extreme, but it's built like a porno, with one violent kill after another, all shown in schizophrenic style with every editing trick, filter and psychedelic effect known to man. It's meant to be experienced as an hour in the life of a schizophrenic psychopath who not only gruesomely kills random people, but sexually violates or eats their body parts, while narrating his chaotic narcissistic thoughts to the audience. He imagines his violent drives to be some kind of godlike evil spirit that has taken over him, and fantasizes about people worshipping him, complete with prayers, bibles, hymns and sacrifices. Absolute trash, and a torture to watch. A sequel to 'The Evil Outside Your Window' and 'Rise of Jengo'.

Jersey Shore Massacre  
Ron Jeremy's cameo is the only thing good in this garbage, and that's a scary thought. It's another slasher where horny teenagers on vacation get slaughtered by a random killer. Everything is wrong with this movie: It's a slasher that is as uninspired as it gets, even though it has to compete with thousands of similar movies. The characters are all as obnoxious as they get, but the movie thinks of them as comedy, making everyone (men and women) into Jersey-trash bimbos with single-digit IQs. The nudity is unwanted, given the trash it's on. And the handful of kills, although excessively gory with intestines and flesh flying all over the place for what seems like forever, are as forgettable as the movie.

Japanese take on the zombie splatter genre featuring jewel thieves shooting it out with Yakuza while zombies pop in for a quick bite. The cast seems to be having fun, and the gore is prevalent, but it's just too amateurish and silly to enjoy properly.

Junkfood Horrorfest  
The pocket-change budget of this horror anthology is the least of its worries. It's the lack of any developed ideas and its horrible acting that make it truly terrible. Each short basically demonstrates a single 'idea' that feels like it was made up by some lazy guy in his couch in 10 seconds. One short movie out of the six is just about a guy who has no life and commits suicide. End of 'story'. The others involve a cannibal neighbour, a satanist and his girlfriend, some skaters and a gay prostitute who pays them to spank him (what?), a frustrated nurse and her annoying old patient, and an angry junkie, all involving some kind of home-made gleefully gory scene that looks like it took 10 minutes to make (which is 10 minutes more than the writing, at least).

A dull and messy Hannibal ripoff (or spoof?) that throws into the mix a small mafia family dealing with drugs and prostitution, lesbian sex, nudity, an insane cannibal killer, a group of policemen, and lots of disemboweling and autopsy gore. The plot is often incoherent and this is made worse by a loud soundtrack that drowns out some of the dialogue.

The leader of a group of criminals is put in jail and his psychotic girlfriend takes over with dire consequences. The first hour wanders around exploring the interactions between the gang members as she screws around, makes them commit petty crimes, has parties and gets the main member of the gang to leave. Then she goes nuts when the leader kills himself in jail, goes to the woods and everyone goes psycho on each other for no good reason, blowing off heads and chests, playing with brains and bowels, decapitating, cutting and stabbing genitals. Boring and pointlessly nasty, making you wish they killed themselves an hour earlier. And I'm sick of violence trying to get art marks by stupidly being declared a 'political statement'.

Killer is Still Among Us, The  
A cliched, dull giallo sporting a typical plot of a mystery murderer who kills and mutilates lovers making out in the woods, and a criminology student with Nancy Drew aspirations who decides to study this unknown killer. The mystery develops ploddingly with her boyfriend and others becoming suspects, until a sudden, single scene that comes out of nowhere with graphic, explicit genital mutilation worthy of an Andreas Schnaas flick.

Killing Spree  
If Ed Wood had made a cheesy H.G. Lewis gore film, this may have been the result. A husband suspects his wife of cheating and her diary containing sexual escapades doesn't help his paranoia until he snaps and starts gleefully murdering all the men she mentions in her diary in creative ways. Chainsaws, lawn-mowers and even ceiling fans are used to decapitate, disembowel and dismember the victims, and the gore scenes range from nice splatter (jaw being ripped away) to truly lame. The ending features a semi-interesting twist and some silly zombies. The ineptness cancels out the fun of the cheesy camp though. Probably Tim Ritter's most gory movie.

Kill Syndrome  
Just another August Underground-style movie that consists exclusively of lots of screaming, sadism and gore. There's a family of cannibal sadists that film themselves torturing and eating their victims while chewing the scenery in the most obnoxious ways possible. There's a queue of victims that are only here as torture meat, except their 'character setup' scenes have them act almost as obnoxious as the psychopaths. There's a bunch of nasty extreme gore and torture but you won't see much of it because of the amateur lighting. I think there's a plot somewhere in there since there are random scene snippets that hint at something going on but it's so incoherent and badly done I couldn't figure out what was happening. And that's probably the worst sin of this no-reason-to-exist, obnoxious and boring movie.

Knock Knock  
Yet another by-the-numbers copy-paste slasher, with laughably bad acting. Instead of working on some kind of original plot, the makers just threw in overly generous helpings of really gratuitous gore and nudity. Even the police side has a woman showing off her assets. The deaths are so gratuitous, they involve additional gore even after they are already dead, the killer spending time setting up scenes of disembowelments, dismemberments, blowtorch gore, and other graphic acts that are only there for the movie's audience. Otherwise, it features the same old horny youngsters getting killed, a girl in a shower, and a poor old killer who was abused in the past.

This is like a bad b-movie slasher from the 80s. The Nazis unleash a demon, decades later some horny teenagers re-unleash it and run around a factory getting killed in gory ways. The demon, for no logical reason, makes modern wisecracks as he kills people even though he's been away for centuries. It doesn't work. That's about it for the plot. The kills are a bit more extreme than an 80s movie, with impalements, face-melting or crushing, the ol' penis-chopping, and bodies ripped apart. Only the ending is a surprise with some really funny black humor.

A cliched horror movie about teenagers volunteering to stay in a house only to find themselves being slaughtered, etc etc. There are some interesting mysterious and hallucinative touches here and there but the murderers antics are very unrealistic and the twist ending is one of the most nonsensical endings ever made. The gore is borderline excessive with some scenes that gleefully burn someone with acid, crunch a face across a table corner, eye-gouge and disembowel.

Laid to Rest  
Sometimes I think slasher movies only exist so that special effects people can have fun without having to think up something new. This is the millionth slasher movie, an extremely dumb one, and it is mainstream, but it features surprisingly splatterific and shocking effects. This is like a catalogue of gruesome things that can be done to the human head, all very graphic, gory and horrifyingly realistic: skinning, acid, melting, slashing, impaling, slicing in half, sawing, etc. There is no plot, with the whole movie consisting of random people running away from a killer, and a girl who wakes up in a coffin with amnesia. Ignoring for a moment that I hate all slasher movies, this one features people at their stupidest with a start and end that are so dumb, they make no sense, and a dull, invincible and omnipresent killer with a camera, cellphone and shiny mask who does stupid things like sending his victims alone to buy video tapes.

Last Caress  
Another homage to Italian horror from the French, this one released together with Blackaria. It's like some teenager's memories of Italian horror, with strands of the plot lingering only as very muddled impressions, and the colorful and gory kill and nudity scenes emphasized until they become the focus of the movie. There's a secret painting, a dash of nonsensical witchcraft thrown in for no particular reason, a killer who seems more intent on making stylish kills than finding whatever he is looking for, and a collection of youngsters that serve as fodder for sex and death. It's a cut and paste job, with every scene and special effect lifted from other movies even if you can't recall the original, except the camera zooms in on the splattery wounds and gaping cuts, as well as on the naked girls who pose in front of a window for hours. It's like porn for horror fans, and just as empty-headed.

Las Vegas Bloodbath  
Man comes home and catches his cheating wife, kills her, then runs around Las Vegas on a killing spree while carrying his wife's decapitated head. Movie looks like a cheap porn and I think the only reason this was made was as an excuse to hang out with babes in bikinis since over half of the movie lingers on 6 babes playing truth or dare (what is this - a Tim Ritter movie?), trying on bathing suits, and wrestling. The splatter only really makes an appearance in the climax and features some head-drilling, dismemberment, and the cutting open of a real pregnant girl then throwing the fetus against the wall.

Last House in the Woods, The  
Modern Italian homage to 70s grindhouse, basically a copy-paste job from Texas Chainsaw, Last House on the Left and one or two others, with a sick twist involving a little boy. When the heroes of a movie are rapist sleazoids, you just know it's going to a nasty one. A young man and woman, with their relationship on the rocks, wander into a forest populated with one freak after another, from rapists to murderers, to tumor-infested cannibals. They all come together for a glorious splatterfest of a fight that involve knives, teeth and, obviously, chainsaws. But it always feels like a nonsensical as well as a tiresome copy-paste job and nothing else.

Last House on Dead End Street, The (AKA The Fun House)
See Extreme Movies.

Laughing Dead, The  
A weak horror movie that tries to mix some winking comedy, cheesy horror, drama and splatter. A priest who lost his faith and once had a scandalous affair (begetting a foul-mouthed brat) takes a group of weirdos on an archaeological tour in Mexico. They encounter the cult of the Death God who soon throws zombies their way and decapitates, rips apart or crushes some of the tourists. This brings out the splatter fan in the director as suddenly heads are thrown in basketball hoops, severed arms are shoved down people's throats and heads are crushed like tomatoes. But these scenes are scattered and few and the rest of the movie is too cheesy or weak to enjoy, despite the nice soundtrack.

Living a Zombie Dream
See Extreme Movies.

Long Pigs  
I never liked the unrealistic approach in Man Bites Dog of a documentary crew filming a serial killer and his exploits and participating in them, so saying that this is practically a clone is not a compliment. In this Americanized version, the killer is an expert cannibal cook that teaches the crew the fine points of preparing human meat and picking out the right meaty subjects, all in a banal sort of way, in between the killing and carving. The trouble is, as opposed to the vicious character in Man Bites Dog, this guy is a cuddly, polite, mild-mannered dude and is never believable in his role. Of course the movie would have you believe that this is the whole point, while it splices footage of him with 'experts' that list all of the stock psychological and sexual problems of such a character, except that it still doesn't feel believable. There are only two gore scenes of extended and nauseating butchering, and the rest is all about this misfiring portrait of this man and his new buddies. The movie finally starts having an impact towards the end when they take him to interview a parent of one of his victims, but by then it's too little too late.

Lost Way Of The Zombies, The  
A German home-made zombie movie with the mentality of a video game. The acting and atmosphere is a bit more competent than the usual German underground fare, but there is no plot, and after the setup of 'two guys taking a shortcut through a factory with a chemical spill and encountering a strange person', it's just a repetitive zombie-kill marathon for 50 minutes as 100 zombies pop up one or two at a time to get shot, sliced, axed, impaled, decapitated, blown-up, etc. by our young heroes. The gore gets more enthusiastic as the movie progresses, but they also resort to using obviously fake heads exclusively for the splatter in the second half, and there is no creative splatstick.

A bored serial killer with a penchant for nasty violence meets with an annoying female serial killer and they both go on a killing spree together. In between killings, they have inane conversations or long stretches of silence. That's the whole movie. Since this was directed by a special effects man, the killings are the centerpiece and are extremely nasty, featuring breast slicing, rape with a burning curler, rape and decapitation in front of her boyfriend, cutting off of genitals, lots of stabbings, etc.

Lung II  
After the endlessly boring gornography of Flowers, I wasn't expecting much from this follow-up from Stevens. Turns out this time-wasting trash is all he is interested in. An obviously insane man wanders around a nightmarish park, city and various rooms, and everywhere he goes he sees nightmarish visions of gore: Dismembered body parts, crushed human heads, a man pushing a baby trolley filled with splattery remains, mutated creatures in the garbage and fridge, one made up of pulsating pieces of genitalia, visions of murders, blood and a padded room, and so on. It's all atmosphere, sound and nightmare gore. There is no mystery beyond 'the inside of the deranged mind of a killer', no character, no plot, no interesting ideas, just porn for gorehounds posing as a surreal movie. Definitely the last movie I watch by Stevens. Movies like these along with 'Fucking Cruel Nightmare', Dora's or Valentine's movies, 'Gateway Meat' and others, demonstrate that underground extreme horror, along with shockumentaries, have stopped being defined as movies at this stage and have just deteriorated into fetish gore-porn.

From the French underground splatter director Pellissier (AKA Doctor Gore) comes this full-length release that seems to be a labor of love that throws in everything and the kitchen sink. A family encounters a cult that nastily sacrifices and butchers women in order to raise the dead. They soon find themselves running away from bloodthirsty cultists, a horde of zombies, as well as vampires hiding in the cellars. The amount of splatter ranks up there amongst the top gory movies (although it isn't that creative), but the plot doesn't exist and the whole movie is a tiresome chase, hide and screamathon with characters appearing out of nowhere just to display their intestines. Oh, and the soundtrack is constantly loud. Altogether, a dull splatter movie that never breathes.

Notorious movie about a deranged killer made infamous by its sleaziness and Savini's over-the-top gore effects. The killer had an abusive mother and he takes it out on flashy women, killing them in various ways before scalping them to put their hair on his mannequin collection. The handful of gore effects are brief but are splatterific, including slashings, scalpings, a head blown apart, and a slow decapitation. This kind of movie relies on the acting chops and portrayal of the killer however, and as opposed to most people, I found it crude and unconvincing.

Maniac (2012)  
Great. Just what I always wanted: Point-of-view serial-killing 'porn'. I am definitely in the minority here by not liking this remake (written/produced by Aja) that made quite a splash in the horror-movie world. Not that I liked the original either. Strangely, in both cases I found it unconvincing due to the acting and the dime-store Freudian psychology. This remake follows a very disturbed young man with severe mother issues who has become schizophrenic due to his inability to reconcile his pretty mother with the wild sexual outings he witnessed her in. So he obsesses over mannequins that serve as asexual stand-ins, and can't make up his mind whether to love or kill every pretty girl he meets. The only points of interest here are the surreal and gory visions involving mannequins and some body-horror. You can feel Aja's influence here as the kills are extremely graphic and realistic. But who would want to watch several graphic scalpings from a first-person point of view? I almost expected the corner of the screen to suddenly show bonus points for every extra graphic kill. Not to mention that every woman is naked or involved in some sexual activity before she is slashed. So this POV cinematography varies from offensive to gimmicky, the killer and relationship are too contrived to be interesting, and the movie is mostly repetitive kill scenes, making this merely porn for the slasher crowd.

Mardi Gras Massacre  
Extremely dull H.G. Lewis inspired gore and nudity romp about an Aztec cultist who sacrifices evil women to his Goddess by cutting their hands and feet, stating that he will cut 'the part they do evil with', then cutting open their stomach and pulling out their huge elephant-sized hearts. The gore and nudity scenes all look the same, there is none of the campy H.G. Lewis charm, there is a bad romance between a policeman and a hooker, and the cultist finds evil women by going to a bar and asking prostitutes 'are you evil?'.

Más Carnaza + Burrp!  
Two half-length home-made splatter movies released together, both of which feature nasty and very effective gore, especially the splatterfest Burrp that reaches Schnaas nasty proportions. Más Carnaza is a simple flick of an angry psycho that kills his shrink then pays a visit to his ex-girlfriend and proceeds to torture her and her boyfriend, slicing up every single body part in graphic detail then burning her boyfriend in the bathtub. Burrp features a disease that breaks out amongst some teenagers that makes them break out in extreme violence, killing each other and themselves in gory ways. When the journalists and military intervene, the disease spreads with chaotic results. Burrp features an intro that rants against the injustices of the world, with grindcore metal. The gore is well done and over-the-top, some highlights include a gruesome axing of a body in half, nasty disembowelment and rape, very gory skull bashing and mutilation, a gratuitous scatological scene, and more. Both movies seem more interested in grossing out than writing a plot though.

Mai-Chan's Daily Life  
Feminists ought to love this one. It's Ero-Guro brought to the screen. In other words, that most extreme of mangas that combines anything extremely grotesque with Pinku style erotica featuring willing girls dressed up as gore-toys. It's more extreme than Grand Guignol, and anything goes, including extreme mutilations, deformities, splatter, and sadism. It has a minimal 'story' which is the only reason this isn't classified as gorenography like the noisecore gore movies, but it's still basically porn for extreme sickos. And if you compare this to movies like Naked Blood, it also demonstrates yet another way in which extreme cinema has deteriorated to porn without even the pretense of having an interesting idea. In this one, a girl has the supernatural ability to heal after even the most extreme chainsaw dismemberment, all the better to repeatedly carve you up my dear. Except, of course, she likes it, and is rented out to sickos as a toy. Along the way, she has a relationship with a girl. I think you get the picture.

Medley - Brandelli di Scuola  
Obscure oddity supposedly made by a bunch of students to depict the harsh life in school as a bunch of unrelated absurdly violent vignettes. Teenagers act out various scenes involving sadistic teachers, student fights, crime, drugs, harsh home arguments, all breaking out in sudden absurd violence involving lots of guns, a chainsaw, fire, etc. The blood flies freely in this anarchic silly but pointless movie which also features two splatter centerpieces: a poison that somehow makes a teacher's face melt and his teeth to push out of his face, and a geek that gets stabbed slowly as pencils, rulers and calculators come out of his insides. They must have had fun with this, but it's just pointless and random.

A bad attempt at an 80s Troma-style low-budget splatter-comedy. It starts amusingly in the spirit of Toxic Avenger with over-the-top high-school bullying and two awkward long-suffering nerds. The undead soon arrive to cause splattery chaos amongst the violent high-school dumb bullies and angry nerds, with a bonus driller-slasher film-within-the-film. The acting is purposely bad with an appropriate campy tone. It's a faux-retro grindhouse tribute to Toxic Avenger and is kinda fun. But then it unravels with absolutely atrocious editing and extremely confusing, jumping timelines, locations and scenes with no rhyme or reason. It took me a long while to figure out what was happening and even then, people and events kept appearing out of nowhere with awkwardly cut scenes and a very clumsy plot that tries to add too many elements into the story. The splatter is very old-school Troma-style badness, but is minimally entertaining. Good intentions, bad implementation.

Men Behind the Sun 2: Laboratory of the Devil
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Mental Dead, The  
Obviously a low-budget zombie movie made by a bunch of teenagers having fun reproducing scenes from horror movies they've seen. Filmed in various local buildings and structures, this movie simply has a group of survivors running, screaming and fighting their way throughout the whole movie against scores of zombies without bothering with a narrative. I tried to enjoy it for what it is, but the constant yelling by the girls was annoying, and the rest of the acting was poor, not to mention the inconsistent zombies that are mostly flung away easily, and then suddenly become strong when it's time for someone to die. Lesbian zombies are thrown in for no good reason, and there's a very strange sadistic serial killer who is having fun amidst all the chaos who seems unaffected by zombies. Occasionally, the gore is quite good with limb-chopping stunts, but it's not too creative and there are only a couple of scenes of over-the-top splatter.

Midnight Skater  
A college campus has descended into chaos. A special outbreak of drugs is causing people to turn into zombies, a psychopath is killing people, and worst of all, a midnight skater is spray-painting campus walls. A group of friends get together to rid themselves of the midnight skater once and for all, but the zombies and machete-wielding enthusiastic killer make this task difficult. Features a lot of terrible acting, an oblivious nerd duo that tend to overlook body parts and have a fetish for blow-up sheep and x-files, a handful of gleeful splatter scenes, and one necrophilia scene involving spanking with a severed hand. Terrible movie, but this should definitely appeal to the so-bad-its-good crowd.

Milfs vs. Zombies  
I'm usually up for a campy gory zombie comedy for silly fun, but this one's sense of humor is strictly juvenile and moronic, from the Chris Seaver school of film. Yes, there are housewives facing a zombie outbreak, which sounds like a good idea, but this movie is like a series of sketches and ideas with many random characters, most of them involving juvenile horny 'bro' porn and trash humor with a variety of kink and horny situations that are not even the fun kind of dirty. Some of the ideas here include a man that acts like a dog, pegging lesbians with large dildos, housewives that talk like a horny guy that saw too much porn, a 'merman' zombie, a masturbation in the wild cut short by a zombie, a babified man with a sword, sperm-blood, a vlogger that resorts to nasty survival tactics, zombie rape, an old porn star, etc. The splatter effects are copious and moderately well done, the death-metal soundtrack is great, and some scenes like the president's speech are kinda funny, but everything else was painful, including the acting.

One of Andy Milligan's last movies and one of his goriest, but that isn't saying much. Featuring a Toxic Avenger-like monster, this terrible slice of b-movie comedy tells the tale of 3 guys who build a golem to avenge a raped, beaten and eviscerated girl. The golem is looking for love (while leaking blood) and gentleness, except when he is ripping apart criminals that is. After a touch of body part splatter however, this movie sinks into campy and very dumb comedy.

Mortuary Massacre  
Sloppy, lazy gore-horror anthology that is another one of those movies serving as an excuse for the special-effects people without working on the plot. It's also yet another one of those fake trendy retro-grindhouse attempts that just mix various styles together without really knowing what they're doing. The wrap-around nonsensical story involves a detective in a mortuary being told gruesome stories of the mutilated dead by the strange mortician. The first story is about an insane and aggressive landlord who keeps seeing gruesomely chopped up bodies while chasing down invading graffiti artists. Once again, just a bunch of random nonsense as an excuse to act over-the-top and show some gore. The second is the splattery one and involves a some teenagers hunted by a supernatural vicious killer. The third features more illogical over-the-top acting and a bunch of Face/Off style face-peeling.

Mother of Tears: The Third Mother  
Dario Argento was always more of a horror stylist and not into splatter so when this is described as his goriest with excessive death scenes, this is relative. It's also the third part of a witchcraft trilogy (Susperia, Inferno) for which fans have been waiting 30 years. Unfortunately it's also a cheesy and stupid b-movie with none of the style of the others. Sarah works at a museum when an evil power is unearthed and starts a wave of nihilistic violence and murder. In addition, some guy is gorily dispatching her acquaintances with the use of a screeching monkey and designer torture weapons that rip open various body parts. The witches are ridiculous, annoyingly loud teenagers in goth-makeup, the acting is terrible, and the ending, although it has some bizarre moments in a catacomb, is anti-climactic. Oh, and Dario directs his daughter in gratuitous nude scenes again.

A third entry into the retarded retro-horror spoof genre by the makers of Pleasures of the Damned and Isle of the Damned, and, by now, the similarities to Chris Seaver are overwhelming. Purposely terrible acting with even more terrible dubbing, $1 wigs and kiddie costumes, toys as special effects, idiotic cheesy dialogue and characters, cardboard and ketchup gore, an obsession with sex, filth, exploitation cheese, and, of course, horrible homages to the 70s. There's a mutant big-foot sex monster who rapes or kills everyone in sight, often both at the same time, and, like a porn movie, in every way imaginable. There's a mad scientist, 'groovy' and not-so-groovy youngsters pressuring each other into 'free love', there's a random whore who lives in the woods, inbred 'forest rednecks', large cardboard phalluses for impaling purposes, and a lot of running around in the woods trying to have sex track down the monster and stay alive. It's simply too retarded and lacking in wit to make one even crack a smile, and the dubbed voices are obnoxiously annoying.

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain
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My Pure Joy  
Adam: Portrait of a serial killer that watched too many slasher movies. This is the story of a young guy that has adopted horror-killing as a way to fill the gaps in his life, after taking his dying father's praise for slasher movies in the wrong way. At the core of this movie is a potentially good character study, and the main actor is the best thing in this low-budget movie, giving it his all. Unfortunately, the rest of the aspects of this movie don't work. His killings are made too extreme relative to his character, trying too hard to shock with things like graphic slicing of genitalia and necrophilia, rather than making them fit his character profile. And the supporting actors are generally weak, and their reactions are often laughably lackluster relative to the over-the-top vicious behaviour. And finally, most of the movie consists of conversations with friends that, while sometimes entertaining, they desperately needed an editor.

Necro Files, The  
A serial killer who 'mutilates' his female victims by playing with pig-gut special effects strewn all over their naked bodies is shot by men acting as policemen (who have somehow memorized their lines) then brought back to life by Satanists who stab a baby doll and urinate on his grave. Soon he is back to his gory killings, this time aided by a foot-long penis, until he kills a lesbian having sex with a blow-up doll and falls in love with the doll. The remaining Satanists conjure up a demonic $3 plastic doll that flies through the air hanging on a wire in order to fight the zombie serial killer. Enough said.

Necro Files 2: Lust Never Dies, The  
The serial killer's brother (who thinks aloud through a voice distortion effect) tries to follow in his footsteps by killing, raping and mutilating women (in that order) then brings back his brother from the dead with vomit and urine. Overcoming penis envy and inept corrupt cops, they go on a violent raping spree. This time the 'sex' is practically x-rated, the cheap gore is bloody and gleefully twisted, but the acting is the worst of all.

Night of the Bloody Apes  
Laughably bad gory horror in an Ed Wood way. A mad doctor attempts to heal his son by transplanting an ape's heart, with disastrous bloody results as his son grows facial hair and goes on a rampage, while a policeman and his wrestler girlfriend track down the killer. Lots of cheap nudity as the ape-man tears off clothes, bad gore, female wrestling, and real heart transplant footage sloppily spliced into the movie for an increased gore quota.

Night of the Demon  
No, not the old 1957 release. This extremely cheesy nasty tells the tale of a group of over-sexed anthropologists and students who go in search of Bigfoot rumored to be a demon killing some locals. The elements that make this such a joy to watch are the flashbacks within flashbacks, the laughably bad acting, the loud noise that serves as a soundtrack, and the occasional gore that the camera lovingly lingers over. People get their arms ripped off, disemboweled, pitchforked, impaled, a girl gets some Sasquatch lovin', and one poor fellow gets his penis yanked off.

Night to Dismember, A  
Notorious bad exploitation and b-movie maker Doris Wishman creates this painfully awful mess even by her standards. A woman is released from an insane asylum and her siblings try to drive her mad for some reason, but jealousy soon leads to lots of murders (also for reasons unknown). The editing is disjointed and confusing, the acting horrible, the narration is laughably bad and keeps telling you obvious things that you just saw on the screen, the bad gore is plentiful but mostly of the blood-spattering variety while victims get axed and slashed again and again, and Dorish gets to film more feet to satisfy her foot fetish. Painfully dull.

Nights of Terror (AKA Burial Ground)  
Laughable Fulci-wannabe zombie movie about a group of people caught in a mansion where a professor has opened a crypt containing intelligent but slow zombies. Extremely dumb characters who put themselves in harm's way, bad acting, horrible dubbing, and an annoyingly loud soundtrack. The gore includes lots of the usual gut-munching and skull-smashing but the zombies actually use various weapons and tools to do their splatter handiwork. Features a 25 year old actor acting as a 12 year old boy with an unhealthy obsession for his mother's nipples and body. When he becomes a zombie, this takes a turn for the worse.

Amateurish post-apocalyptic zombie splatter movie where survivors try to outrun and fight the masses of zombies, and the survivor communes are worse than the unprotected cities. Robotic acting, dumb dialog, and amateurish effects with blood that is the wrong color. 28 Days Later did this much, much better.

Nutsack Pt. 1: Lucifer's Cosmonauts  
Half-length extreme splatter trash. Some stoned loser goes around looking for a job while a goofy alien blob runs around raping people with tentacles and tearing their bodies apart in rivers of splatter and body parts. Rinse and repeat, to the sounds of buzzing and popping electronic soundtrack that passes for atmosphere. Add some hallucinative splatter scenes, and there's a plot twist, but not one that makes any sense. Very low-budget splatter, but too goofy and brainless to be enjoyable.

Trainspotting, the extreme splatter version. And throw in some ridiculously extreme and graphic necrophilia with falling-apart bodies that gives Nekromantik a run for its money, except this trash doesn't take anything seriously. A half-length film featuring one extreme splatter scene after another where drug-addicts chop off body parts and smash heads of babies to get their next fix, then sell body parts to 'doctors' that seem only interested in using their patients as punching bags of splattery fountains and literal sex-objects. Babies here are goofy-looking wrinkled puppets that get their heads smashed in regularly when they aren't exploding from lack of drugs. This is all about random transgressive trash and doesn't bother with any kind of world-building that makes any sense. It also has absolutely nothing to do with Nutsack Part 1. This comes from a director that filmed a Gummo-esque trashy film with dead animals and white trash, named 'Dog Dick'. Enough said.

Occultist, The  
Idiotic little horror movie that starts with a completely illogical idea: Satanists run a medical university to use their students as sacrifices. Now why would they invest a whole year of studies and lectures on meat that they can pick up anywhere? Not to mention the way missing person cases will lead right to them... The low budget is painful, but what really kills this one is the acting and the script. There's over-the-top gory surgery to extract body parts, and for some reason, there's also the same graphic footage of real surgery repeatedly cut into the movie in random places like some 'porn' to distract from the bad acting. The ending is unusual and unexpected, but they even ruin this with some really sophomoric argumentation for Satanism.

Orphan Killer, The  
Here's one to separate the horror fans from the people that just watch slashers for gore and nudity. Copying Halloween, this one sets up a brother and sister that, as children, experienced a trauma involving murder, except that the brother grows up bad despite continuous punishments and comes back to take revenge on everyone. Sound familiar? They were brought up by nuns that are as clueless as the writer, who illogically punish the boy for years and make him wear a mask for no good reason other than to have a masked killer. The director throws in some nunsploitation, some gratuitous nudity, torture porn, a metalcore soundtrack, and a whole lot of splatter and brutal kills. Barbed wire is used as a torture device, heads are smashed or stabbed right through, limbs are cut off just for sadistic fun, and throat slashings are nasty and splashy. In other words, no originality, the barebones plot is just there to set up a killer, character is replaced by boobs, but everything else that doesn't matter to real horror is amped up.

Ozone! Attack of the Redneck Mutants  
Zero-budget splatter-comedy about a hole in the ozone layer mutating rednecks into multicolored wild killers. This would have been campy fun in the vein of H.G. Lewis but the comedy is very lame, and the splatter occurs mostly at the climax where rednecks go on a rampage in a karaoke gathering and in people's homes, tearing people apart. The rest of the gore consists of blood splatter and a lot of multicolored goo oozing and vomiting.

Party Bus to Hell  
Dumber than hell comedy-horror, and not in a fun way. A group of really obnoxious Burning Man party-goers find themselves on a bus in the middle of the desert surrounded by a bunch of freaks that "watched Mad Max too many times", and suddenly, "the hills have eyes, ears and throats". Which is a fair enough summary, except, as mentioned, the humor and jokes are the type that only a stoned fratboy with a single-digit IQ would find amusing, and none of the actors are ever believable in their roles, including the hordes of half-naked Max-Max, orgy-loving, evil-worshipping freaks (i.e. city-folk with fake boobs and beards trying to chew the scenery and failing). The gore is somewhat plentiful, but not creative. It takes more than lesbians and plastic boobs to make a horror movie.

Patriotism (AKA Rite of Love & Death)  
Very early precursor to the ultra-realistic and gory Seppuku films by Kikaku et al, albeit not as graphic, and more artistic. A Japanese soldier is forced into a position where the only way out is honorable suicide. This back-plot told via scrolling text, the 30-minute movie simply involving the soldier and his wife going through the ritual, making love, then slicing themselves open. B&W, stagy and silent.

Pink Eye  
Some movies just make you wish that it weren't so easy for any brain-dead person to write and make movies. This one is so bad and sloppy you just point and laugh. It starts out with some splatter scenes of female mental patients mutilating themselves, including one very graphic self-eye-gouging, but then the rest of the movie cuts away from the gore and kills. There's a conspiracy in the insane asylum which never makes any sense, run by doctors and nurses that are laughably unrealistic, who are all afraid of some guy called Edgar just because he talks in pretentious horror-movie cliches and has a mutilated face and skull thanks to Pink Eye (what?), except that you never get to see it. The conspiracy has nothing to do with anything and is promptly forgotten for the rest of the movie, Edgar's intentions are never clear, one minute he is terrorizing doctors and favoring patients, then killing patients, then stalking a random girl on the outside. There are several laughably bad dramatic subplots that never go anywhere, people are in one house then magically appear in another, dead or wounded people that we never saw before appear at random, and the ending just fizzles out. A complete waste of time.

Pleasures of the Damned  
Silly low-budget homage to 70s Satanic grindhouse that feels like a Chris Seaver movie with a bunch of folk in colorful 70s costumes and wigs. There's the Freemasonic/Satanic cult, an evil curse and a book of power, a sister looking for her brainwashed brother, a professor and his assistant researching evil, and finally, the living-dead ancient Satanists. The horrible audio is dubbed with complete disregard to what's happening on screen, there's off-screen nasty sex and rape, and most of the cheap unimpressive splatter is left to the end featuring eye-gouging, intestine yanking, scalping, decapitation and more. Trick-marketed as a long lost Italian 70s nasty but the secret is out now. If it's going to be this bad at least give us some comedy.

Absolutely terrible sci-fi horror pseudo-anthology. Four shorts dealing with the same kind of portals that suddenly appear, except the only direction they seemed to have gotten is that these portals can do random horrific things to people. I'd like to say the shorts have nothing in common, but even within each short, there is zero coherency, structure or plot. People can or can't go through the portals, there are visions, some go evil, some go zombie, some become violent, some don't. Some heads explode, some get their eyes gouged, some get their eyes replaced, some just get headaches, some get visions, etc... You get the idea.

Projekt Fleisch
40 minute Swiss splatter in the vein of Blutgeil, released by nuckleduster on a 'Splatbox' DVD with a few more gory shorts. A gang of knucklehead metalheads lead a Manson-esque lifestyle, killing people at random, taking drugs, attempting masturbation sessions with vacuum cleaners and other machines, and led by a chief knucklehead. When they kill a whole family, the goth daughter comes for revenge. Features bloody penis damage by machine, random gory violence, sleaze and drugs, and a climax where a guy is beaten, axed in the groin, then dismembered, then disemboweled, then taken apart, then thrown up on, and then finally killed.

Prophets of Ignorance, The  
After emulating August Underground and Lucifer Valentine, I suppose Kasper Juhl figured he'd try his hand at a 'female' version of a video nasty. At least, Juhl's fantasy warped version of females, where the camera follows two of the most obnoxious teenage girls portraying every toxic behaviour known to teenage girls and then some. Airheaded girl-talk, gold-digging fantasies, gratuitous emotional outbursts, catty girl fights, bitchy behaviour to strangers in the street, etc, which then rapidly escalates to home-invasion violence and a splattery attack on a pregnant woman's belly and fetus. Evidently even Juhl got tired of this, and turned the second part into a scattershot collection of visuals involving women being covered by blood and a symbolic gory tumor. I've had enough of this trash from Juhl.

Prowler, The  
Just another boring slasher released after the success of Friday the 13th about a soldier who goes on a killing spree after getting a Dear John letter from his girlfriend. Savini goes all out with gore effects while the killer pitchforks and slashes his teenage victims, and since the movie is so dull, the only things people remember of this flick are the scattered but very effective gore scenes. In this way it is similar to The Burning with it's one or two Savini splatter scenes, especially the notorious one on the raft.

Psychic Experiment  
Is it a spoiler when the movie spoils its own secret using the movie title? At first, this movie is a bewildering mess that throws everything and the kitchen sink crammed into a very short time, what with a dozen characters, dramas and back-stories, and completely random horror ideas such as bizarre flaming people that are somehow both biological mutants or from another dimension, random splattery deaths where each one is more imaginative and different than the previous, evil chemical corporations and experiments, sinkholes, animated evil dolls, pedophiles, psychics, murderers, bizarre Society-style body-merging-horror, and whatnot. But, fret not, the movie title is there to tell you where all this is going. And the idea behind it all is actually an interesting one that could have resulted in a good movie, somewhere between Scanners and Legion. But the implementation here is terrible, not only with the mess of too-many ideas (most of which don't go anywhere, unsurprisingly), but also with a mix of established and poor amateur actors, bad CGI effects, a damaging low-budget, and a lack of focus even in the tone (one store scene has dolls strip women of their clothes for no reason). A mess.

50 minute Japanese gory ultra-violence from Ami Shownosuke. A girl snaps when a jerk invades her home aggressively, goes ballistic then psycho. A stupid argument with the her neighbours, a young couple, quickly escalates to a war, where faces are hammered in many ways, and limbs chopped off, as they each get the upper hand in turn. The over-the-top splatter is the type that is gruesome even if it isn't always convincing. The escalation leads to a twist, and although the movie starts with footage from Chien Andalou, it only seems interested in that movie in order to repeat the eye-slicing scene in color. Forgettable, cheaply-made violence and gore exploitation.

Psycho Holocaust  
Stop me if you've heard this one: A group of youngsters vacation in the middle of nowhere, driving to a reclusive cabin, when, suddenly... OK consider me stopped. Low-budget rip-off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre number two-hundred and fifty, with a bunch of laughably unconvincing 'psycho' ex-soldiers as the backwoods killers, and nothing new or interesting to add to this genre. The movie limps on its flimsy cartilage it calls feet, just setting up the next gore scene as yet another character meets his death or gory torture session. Chainsaws and sharp objects chop off limbs, scalps and heads, there's a dinner scene with intestines, and sodomy by handsaw. Nothing to see here folks.

Psycho: The Snuff Reels
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Another entry in the underground zero-budget German splatter genre. A man is performing medical experiments on a girl, repeatedly injecting her with a serum that makes her experience her own death in various ways. When she starts gaining control of her own hallucinations, reality starts changing. This sounds a lot more interesting than it really is however, as the movie uses this only as an excuse to string together sadistic snuff scenes, ranging from waking up to find pieces of herself on the dinner table, to drowning in a romantic peaceful forest.

The SciFi channel released scores of terrible creature-feature horror movies with smatterings of CGI gore, but this one stood out both in how terrible it is, and in the above-average and even surprising amounts of gore. The ultra-lazy plot and characters are all from stock and copy-paste jobs, including an army platoon of fodder for the dinosaur creatures, tough-army-girl, an obsessed scientist, dumb girl, etc etc. They are all roaming the Turkish-Armenian border when the Pterodactyls hit, and scientific curiosity soon gives way to basic survival. Bodies are torn apart in CGI blood-fountains, and there's more human gut-eating than an average zombie movie. The cliched characters, plot and dialogue are made worse by terrible computer effects and completely unrealistic action.

Punk Rock Holocaust  
Some guy decides it would be fun to film a serial killer movie on the real Warped 'punk' tour using cameos from real bands and fans. But the result is boringly repetitive and as limp as a Chris Seaver movie, and to top it all off, most of the bands are mall-pop-punk. Where's the muscle? Here's a summary of the movie: Band plays crappy music, killer finds new ways to kill the band members and dozens of fans, then cut to the next massacre. The splatter is over-the-top and includes poisoning vegans so they literally puke their guts out, disemboweling, lots of gory cuts with a sword, driving a truck over band members and so on and so on.

Race War: The Remake
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Rambo: Last Blood  
The fifth and hopefully final chapter for this saga with diminishing returns. Compare this crudely-written, simplistic and gratuitously brutal film with the first entry which was a masterpiece of character work and action with plenty of grey-areas on both sides, and subtly escalating violence. Here we get a much older Rambo in an Arizonian ranch, trying to protect his teenage niece from the brutal world out there. A visit to Mexico results in a brutal confrontation with a savage cartel that deals with drugs and sex-trafficking. Of course, Rambo takes on the whole cartel with fury, as expected, but not before some extremely dark developments. The concept could have worked, but, unfortunately, the writing here is extremely poor, with dialogue so badly clunky and simplistic it evokes cringes. Rambo, too, does some very uncharacteristically stupid things when encountering enemies. And finally, the final 20 minutes of very gory non-stop carnage cross the line from realistic ultra-violence (see Rambo IV) to just plain savage bloodthirstiness for the sake of carnage. Altogether, it didn't feel like a Rambo movie.

Red Account - My Bloody Angel  
A woman is in love with her husband but she and his best friend think he is possessed with evil for no apparent reason so they try to exorcise him by killing and dismembering him. Starts as pixelated porn, then becomes a Guinea Pig as they meticulously cut him open, disembowel, dismember and carve him into pieces, then she has sex with the body parts and suddenly we're back to the porn. I don't get it.

Red Skulls, The  
A home-made movie involving street-gang-war combined with zombie horror. On the one hand you can see what they were going for and how this movie could have been fun despite the tiny budget. On the other hand nobody seems to know what they are doing and nothing is ever convincing for a single second. The gang consists of obvious white-bread sweater-wearing youth pretending to be tough gang members, and the fighting is limp and at the level of a school play. It takes forever for the zombie angle to come out, and until then one has to endure miles of gang infighting drama with bad acting. When the zombies emerge, there is an above average amount of home-made gore with a handful of splattery scenes and lots of 'violent' fighting, some of it a little entertaining, the rest just inept. But at least they have a little more fun with the mayhem. Perhaps more energy would have helped.

Redwood Massacre, The  
I really don't understand why someone would go through all the bother and work of making a movie only to repeat exactly the same thing that thousands have done before. Yes, it's another slasher involving a masked supernatural killer killing young campers, this one with an extra boost in the sadism department. This killer, very inefficiently, physically tortures and takes his time in killing his human fodder, often taking several swings with an axe to get the job done, or dragging them into his torture room for no reason whatsoever, other than the fact that gratuitous sadism is trendy nowadays. The human fodder is dumber than usual in putting themselves in harms way, and that's saying a lot. There's relatively lots of gore from the repetitive slashings by axe, saw and machete as well as very bloody beatings with bare fists. A complete waste of time for everyone involved.

Repo Men  
A terrible mainstream sci-fi movie with a handful of surprisingly gruesome & gory surgical scenes. Remember the gory sketch in The Meaning of Life where a man knocks on the door to take a live organ-donor's liver? Well, this movie stole that idea, and expanded it into a feature film by adding lots of silly action scenes and an even sillier cliched plot. A psychotic serial-killer is the hero of this movie: He is a repo man who repossesses artificial organs and limbs for a company that forces desperate people to pay absurdly large amounts of money for their implants, then takes them back when they can't pay, leaving them to die a horrible death. This psychotic and despicable employee suddenly becomes the 'good guy' in the movie when he gets an artificial heart himself and decides to fight the company. So the concept is completely unbelievable, the protagonist is someone you'd like to see dead yet the movie wants us to root for him, there's gruesome impromptu surgery performed by action heroes and kids, a laughably unrealistic climax involving erotic self-surgery, and a buddy who is even a bigger psychotic serial-killer, but it can't even be taken as a satire or over-the-top comedy since there's nothing funny or campy about this massively puzzling misfire.

Resurrection in Blood  
Like Gospel of Taddeo, this is an unwatchable chaotic mess of extreme violence, gore and filth. There are some mobsters with vague and confusing ties to witchcraft, the leader of which is trying to resurrect his murdered wife with various bizarre and gore-ridden rituals. His son and subordinates seem to be as insane as he is, each with their own secret depravities, lashing out in various acts of violence. But the movie frequently throws this plot-line out the window in favor of one chaotic violent scene after another, where mates, or random people that appear out of nowhere, maim, stab, sodomize, torture, slice and viciously attack anyone at random in some unexplained fit of depraved emotion until you have no idea what is going on. Also includes random acts of necrophilia, rituals with parts of a torso, sex with a baseball bat, sadomasochism, etc. You've never seen a world quite so chaotic; The jungle is more civilized. Except that it seems the director is so obsessed with depravities, he forgot he was making a movie.

Revenge (2017)  
Does a rape/revenge movie count as one if the rape is not shown and there is ten times more male nudity than female? Frankly, this is the only thought that this movie evoked, seeing as it is beyond insultingly idiotic and brainless. There is 'suspension of disbelief' and then there is 'stupid'. Many action/horror/thriller movies of late take the attitude that more is more, outrageousness is entertaining, and ridiculously impossible action is fun. But the good ones either manage to keep some kind of balance, or simply go all-out into absurd black comedy (like the Crank movies). This one however, plays it straight, except it's simply blatantly impossible and witless. A dumb 'hot' girl places herself in the middle of nowhere at the mercy of three macho men, teases them, is surprised when they react, then turns into Rambo and hunts them down. Bullets tear away half a torso, or make one lose enough blood to paint a whole house, but the characters just shrug it off and keep on fighting. Huge gaping wounds can be closed and healed very easily so that the nudity will titillate instead of repulse. A simple shard of glass becomes a scene for an over-the-top splattery wound, and even a huge fire cannot touch these creatures that look like humans. The Terminator is easier to slow down than these guys. A waste of time.

Revenge of the Living Dead Girls, The  
An attempt at horror by a porn director and the result is a horrible zombie movie full of plot holes, soft-core nudity and exploitation, and a handful of short scenes of splatter. We have some cheesy conspiracies, back-stabbings and scandals, a poison in the local milk that kills a few women, and a company that pours toxic waste into a graveyard that brings them back to life. The zombies then run around stealthily taking revenge on the nasty people. The gore includes some genital mutilation, gut-munching and a splatterific birth in the shower.

Rotten Shaolin Zombies  
A splatter short so silly, it's actually good for a few chuckles. Two brothers practice kung-fu all their lives until one of them is eaten by bad sushi (which they weren't charged for) and turns into a zombie. To stop the gory killing spree, he must meet his fate, and fight his brother to the death after getting sage advice from his master with long white eyebrows.

Salome & The Forbidden
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Samurai Zombie  
Empty-headed Japanese zombie-gore flick with the annoying cute little teen attitude of modern Japanese bubble-gum splatter. There's a samurai zombie in full battle-gear rising up from the grave to chase and behead some 'cool' teenage criminals, a travelling family, some weird guy who pops up out of nowhere and can't seem to die, and two silly comic-relief cops. There's a lot of homage to old zombie flicks in the soundtrack, but the movie itself just wanders about pleased with how campy and fun it thinks it is, not doing anything creative or fun with its setup. Every few minutes there is another boring over-the-top geyser of fake CGI blood beheading, then they chase each other some more and pose with guns.

Thai confused horror movie that is part supernatural, part slasher, part dumb twist. A group of teenagers (of course) run around in the woods after their bus falls through an old bridge and get picked off gruesomely by strange Final Destination-esque coincidences and a mysterious slasher. Dozens of teenagers are beheaded, impaled, and slashed by a variety of objects and there is one creative death scene after another which, despite the relatively tame gore-effects, places this in the gore section.

Scavenger Killers  
A terrible serial-killer movie that doesn't work on any level. A psychotic team of judge and lawyer go on a killing and torture spree, picking their next victim by randomly choosing their description like 'waitress' or 'cult'. A dirty-minded, aggressive, mute, wheelchair-bound intelligent FBI investigator is on their trail, as well as a bizarre psychic who uses a large black woman's breasts and the inside of her mouth to receive his visions. The killers play with their victims in gruesome ways before their over-the-top splattery deaths. or at least the first few deaths go this way as if the director got tired of the gore midway. The whole thing is too silly and dumb to be a horror movie, but too nasty and dumb to be a comedy, and it looks and feels like a porno studio got their hands on the wrong script and decided to film it anyways. Perhaps the writer was aiming at a comedy but the director got his wires crossed (or vice versa, who cares). Natural Born Killers this isn't.

Scream for Christmas  
Home-made no-budget tongue-in-cheek horror-comedy mayhem made by a bunch of youngsters. The one thing this has going for it is that it has multiple killers slashing each other at a party and it is unpredictable, but that's only because it is completely random. A bunch of youngsters gather for a party bash, each one of them nastier than the next. The killings start soon enough, with some home-made gore effects, each scene trying to outdo the previous in terms of psychotic behaviour or super-power as it soon veers to fantasy mayhem where anything goes, including a Street-Fighter-style cheerleader, an immortal violent Santa, an over-the-top misogynist, a story-telling Slasher, random violent cartoons, and an eye-gouging bitch from hell. It sounds like fun, and I'm sure they had fun making it, but it's too poorly made and acted.

Painfully bad movie that feels like a horror movie version of the Jerry Springer show. There's incest, lust and rape, over-acted trashy endless drama made over a jealous husband, and a trashy girl that is somehow the center of attention just because something bad happened to her. The camera in this movie is like a horny housewife: zooming in with its many body-builder actors that all get to line up to have sex with the trashy girl. This traumatized girl somehow overpowers them one after another in laughable unrealistic scenes as she becomes more and more 'psychotic', scenes featuring increasingly gory body parts with which to build her sculpture for a grand reveal by an ugly cross-dresser. Like I said, Jerry Springer: The horror movie.

7th Day  
A first-person serial-killer movie that looks like it's going to develop something unusual at some point in the middle of the movie, then deteriorates and falls apart into nothing. It's a character study of a man who may be a complete imbecile and delusional loser, or a vicious cold-blooded killer that has never been caught, and, like him, you are not quite sure of what is real. He works as a dish-washer and has a love affair in his mind with the girl working there, and he 'selects' victims for his gift of 'life' after hours, all the while he has ambitions of being talked about, so much so that he constantly has a surreal no-faced being following him around with a fused microphone. But the writing is chaotic: The nasty splatter scenes seem to be spliced in from a different movie and never fits in with his character whether it is delusional or not, there is random necrophilia and incest which seems shoehorned in for no reason other than to add to the nasty quota, and the ending isn't so much an ending as running out of gas.

Severed Ties  
An attempt at Re-animator style splatter comedy that constantly looks like it should be gory fun but isn't. A scientist tries to create a plasmid to re-generate missing body parts. His mother provides the financial backing with commercial plans that clash with her son's ideals, and seems to have developed an unhealthy attachment to him. Things get out of hand in the lab, he loses an arm, regenerates it from killer lizard genes and runs off into the sewer to continue his work with bums. Includes body-part experimentation galore but the pseudo science and plot is dumb, the gore is mostly rubbery, and the comedy falls flat.

An odd trio of erotic-gore performance numbers by a French porn director. The first features a woman in a pub bathroom being stripped, tortured, stabbed, burned and killed by remote-control voodoo doll. The second splatter center-piece features a ghoul and a semi-willing goth-girl in a dungeon, the ghoul realistically sticking needles in all kinds of places, cutting himself and finally eye-gouging and killing the girl. The silly third features a vampire stripping and biting a girl who promptly breaks into nude dancing to Tina Turner.

Shock Invasion  
Another crudely animated gorefest from Frank Sudol, a followup to Dead Fury and even more empty headed. Once again, the Ash-like character runs around the whole movie making bland wisecracks and killing one creature after another. This time its an alien invasion, which managed to nearly wipe out the whole human race in one shot, but now they are slow and stupid enough to be wiped out by one dude with never-ending ammunition who played too many video games. And that's all this animation is: A video game. The weapons get upgrades, and so do the monster aliens, and everyone and everything is reduced to piles of gooey splatter while the player has to make his way to a military base with another survivor who happens to be overweight (insert dumb wisecrack here). Repetitively dull.

More crappy German gore. At first this looks like it was intended to be a comedy, using slasher cliches to have fun with the slasher genre, but it's really just using slasher cliches, and the title is more about a complete lack of inspiration and originality rather than anything cheeky. The killer is a poor-man's ripoff of Gunnar from Texas Chainsaw, the teenagers are the usual horny boring stereotypes running in the woods, the chainsaw splatter makes an appearance in only a couple of scenes and is nothing memorable, and there are two plot twists that are too stupid and brainless to even attempt to predict.

Slashers Gone Wild  
Witless, empty-headed spoof on slashers by someone who probably watched too much TV. There is no plot, only a game show with slashers that serves as an excuse to stage one death scene after another by giggling teenage killers (and one old follower of Ed Gein). Contestants are killed in a stupid game of truth or dare, the killers claim to kill for environmentalism, killing litterbugs, there's a 'Kill the Cheerleader' interlude, Slasher of the Year contests, and a show down between two slashers that suddenly detours into the supernatural for no good reason, introducing zombies and demons. The gore is gleefully splattery with some well-made scenes of sawing and chainsawing a head, but they're as uncreative as the movie.

Slaughter, The  
There's a scene in this movie where a couple of youngsters being attacked by a zombie are trying to determine whether it is a slow Romero zombie or a new fast one. Except that it is a new kind: A stationary zombie that just waves his arms while they attempt to wisecrack for minutes at a time. Except that they aren't being funny and you wish the zombie would get rid of them quick. And that's the biggest problem with this movie: Bad timing, bad comedy, and obnoxiously overacting caricatures posing as characters for the slaughter. A group of 'college kid types' ranging from cartoonishly macho to pothead and slut, are hired to clean a house by an even more obnoxiously noxious boss with a big cigar. They encounter a demoness that requires an elaborate series of 'sacrifices' to rule the world. She also seems to require a lot of nudity and boobs even though the demoness herself wears panties. The splatter is restricted to a couple of scenes of Fulci-inspired intestine-upchucking, gut-munching and face-stripping, and the rest of the time you have to suffer the attempts at comedy. At least the demon makeup is cool.

Slaughter Disc  
In the old tradition of D'Amato and his followers, this mixture of horror, gore and porn is a dull flick with non-erotic porn and non-scary horror. Mike is obsessed with porn and when he orders a special DVD from a strange site promising out-of-this-world gruesome porn, the disc shows him some snuff then takes over his life, becoming reality. Features only a couple of weak splatter scenes with some nasty brain munching, and lots of uninteresting XXX.

Sloppy the Psychotic  
A professional clown that performs at children's parties snaps and goes on a savage, sadistic murder spree. He starts with people that annoy him, but then just kills anyone and everyone, becoming more savage and politically incorrect as he goes, to say the least. Old men, whores, women, mothers, mentally handicapped people, until the massacre climax that involves his job. Remember the old movie rule of never showing little children being killed in film? Well this movie stomps that rule to the ground, smashes open its head, slices it up, chops it into splattery bits, and then feasts on it like a cannibal. But that's all it has to offer. The character development never makes any sense and there is no plot. It's just an exercise in shocking its audience with splattery taboo sadism.

Snuff Kill  
This amateurish snuff movie just doesn't manage to rise above its low budget and overly-simple plot. A twisted front-man convinces his gore-loving friend to film a slasher movie, only things rapidly get out of hand when he decides to make the kills real and the people around him start having suspicions and second thoughts. One victim after another is killed on camera in different ways including chainsaw, decapitation, dynamite, stabbings, face-bashing, etc. Even the splatter isn't that great.

A dismally terrible horror movie about a mad scientist who invents a drug that enables people to leave their bodies, separate their souls, re-enter other bodies and get gory hallucinations all while under the influence. A reporter, friends, an ex-boss, cops etc. become involved and slowly find out he is conducting experiments with kidnapped girls. Features messy editing, terrible acting, sound and editing, and ketchup gore, with all of the excessive splatter appearing in a climax involving zombies, eye-gouging and re-animated corpses that are falling apart.

Space Butchers (AKA Avaruuden Teurastajat)  
A couple of Finnish teenage fans of Fulci and Bad Taste filmed this one in their homes for fun. Aliens land and infect a bird-spotter with a zombie virus. The secret anti-UFO team moves out to wipe them out and lots of gun fighting and some raspberry jam gut-munching ensue. They obviously had fun with this and there are some z-movie amusements, but the gore is weak and this just isn't much good.

Spaceship Terror  
Five female space-travellers, one injured man and a surviving female spend 90 minutes running around trapped in a huge spaceship run by an extremely sadistic fat man, who has filled the ship with horrifying booby traps and games that almost always end in gruesome and splattery tortures or deaths. Just to make sure you understand what kind of movie you are dealing with, he also raises the temperature of the ship so that they will run around in their underwear. In short, 90 minutes of women in underwear screaming and running around trying to get out or find ways to survive while the ship or the man slices off their limbs, tortures them or kills them in splattery ways. The target audience for this movie is obvious.

Spanish Chainsaw Massacre, The  
The English title is a misnomer as this film has nothing to do with the tone or theme of the Texas movie. That said, this is trashy, gross-out, goofy, splattery Troma fodder made in Spain, with a slight nod to 2000 Maniacs. A horny heavy-metal band with no talent, big bellies and severe genitalia wardrobe malfunctions go on a road trip and have a flat tire in a Galician village which is about to celebrate its patron saints. Except these inbred lunatics celebrate like no other village on Earth. At first this is trashy dumb, disgusting, Troma-style fun which I sometimes enjoy, but then it becomes clear that this only has gross-outs on its mind, with a series of scenes of over-the-top gruesome splatter, endless abuse of bodily functions and fluids, a short chainsaw scene, contests and games involving organ, bowel, fetus and genital chomping, etc. And then it abruptly ends without ever going anywhere.

Splattenstein 2000  
Splatter comedy about an insane scientist who goes on a killing rampage while rambling on about his time machine and being chased by the electricity company's special forces. The entertaining splatter includes a variety of blood-gushing effects. What they lack in the acting department they make up for with energy and directorial style, and what they lack in the plot and comedy departments ... well they don't make up for those. The middle and longest in a trilogy of short Splattenstein flicks.

Splatter: Architects of Fear  
A cheap, silly mockumentary about a cheesy, bad post-apocalyptic action movie that was never made, focusing on standard but over-the-top gory special effects. Scenes involving action and splatter effects (including a dismembering center-piece) are shown repetitively, progressively showing how they put it together and set-up the props etc. The special-effects team include a hunchback mutant who likes to chew on mice and men, and the fake movie features punk-Amazon women fighting with mutant men, or having literally mind-blowing sex with them. For fans of silly bad movies only.

Street Trash  
Unfocused, repulsive, splatter-fest movie about a wide variety of trashy characters (mostly street bums) doing an even wider variety of horrible things and using a lot of humorless dialog. The extreme gore is the only thing interesting here, featuring people melting in different colors or exploding after drinking some very old, mysterious booze. Then there is some sex, murder, necrophilia, and a bunch of people playing 'monkey in the middle' with a severed penis.

Staunton Hill  
George Romero must have skipped movie-making 101 with his son (the director of this movie), cause this is a really bad one. This is yet another horror movie about backwoods killers with a group of teenagers in peril. The only originality this movie offers is to make the killers seemingly normal, gentle and harmless. But it does such a good job with that, that the sudden violence never rings true. There are a couple of twists that are projected from the beginning if you pay attention, but the twists are absolutely nonsense in any case. For the vast duration of the movie, the various boring characters interact in boring ways, talk about boring stuff and do absolutely nothing. So, basically you have to sit through boredom knowing that a really stupid twist is going to happen at the end. Add to this the fact that the victims behaviour never makes sense, and the youngsters somehow fall prey to very weak and slow predators in impossible setups. As for the gore, it delivers one endlessly long, graphic and gruesome dismembering and skinning scene, as well as another scene with splattery scalping and disemboweling.

Subconscious Cruelty
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Suburban Sasquatch  
A big man in a cheap gorilla suit with breasts runs around tearing people apart while being hunted down by a spiritual-minded, beautiful Native American girl in a mini-skirt. There is also a lot of story here involving cop-buddies with a past, a struggling reporter, a silly romance, some family drama etc. Unfortunately it's all overlong and limp, with weak acting and pocket-change CGI gore effects involving over-the-top dismemberments, crushing, clawing and blood splatter. For fans of so-bad-it's-good movies, with a pretty girl as a bonus.

Sunken Danish  
Danish copycat ultra-nasty version of August Underground. Two giggling sadists with a juvenile attitude, abduct girls and graphically carve and saw them to pieces in their basement while cracking idiotic sick jokes. The camera is hand-held to give it that 'authentic' feel, there's realistic extreme gore, although slightly less extreme than AU, throw in some necrophilia and vomit, extreme pregnant dismemberment, and no plot, and you have yet another useless extremely nasty piece of gornography, except it's not even original. Arguably not even a real movie, hence the gornography label. Followed by a similar sequel 'Monstrosity', this time involving a nasty violent relationship with a girl just like with AU Penance, and with blatant references to AU, except it doesn't deserve its own review. Repeat after me: Gornography is not film-making. The same director would later emulate Lucifer Valentine in a plotless vomit-gore film called 'Madness of Many' which is definitely not deserving of review.

Taint, The  
Insanely perverted splatter-fest, with almost more body fluids than gore, that has much more in common with a Chris Seaver movie or Street Trash, than, say, Bad Taste. A mad scientist has invented a new form of Viagra that turns men into raving misogynist psychopaths with constantly ejaculating large hard-ons. An stoner-emo-blonde-wimp finds himself in a town where the final gender battle is well on its way, with men tearing apart women (while ejaculating) while some women fight back. The premise could have made a campy splatter satire but there is no wit to be found in this dud. You'd have to think that shooting off other men's penises in a spray of blood is funny, or that a woman who smashes her boyfriend's skull in then reaches into his head to pull his brain out while screaming 'nooooo' and melodramatic music plays is high comedy. Other scenes include a montage of a closet-homosexual gym teacher working out, a hillbilly penis-zombie pooping out of his flaps, nightmares involving buckets of sperm and women being torn apart, and lots of retarded spoofing and dialogue straight out of a Seaver movie. The gore effects are absolutely superb, but that's all that's good about this witless trash. Is it too much to ask that our splatter movies have a minimum of wit or character?

Tales from the Cannibal Side  
Three short, dull, amateurish shorts. Only the last one delivers any splatter and it's lame, the rest of the time the movies cut away from any nastiness. The first is about a woman who meets a couple to fulfill her ultimate fantasy of being eaten, the second involves a willing goth girl at a party of cannibalistic girls, the third is about a family of butchers who kill people at random, pull out their guts, and eat them. Not much plot and lots of nudity, even from the girls you don't want to see.

Terrifier 2  
Against my better judgement, I watched this notorious sequel even though I had enough of the first, and hate slashers, expecting a pointlessly nasty splatterfest. The first found an extremely dark and stomach-churning disturbing way to deliver its savage and ultra-violent clown terror. This one, at first, seemed to find a slightly different tone, with pitch-black nasty clown-humor and a slightly surreal approach with demonic little-girl-clowns and dreams about kiddie clown-shows turning into massacres. But then it settles into an unholy combination of Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors and the most extreme underground German splatterfest imaginable. Even more than the first, each and every murder is interminable savagery with countless ways to butcher a human body while the victim impossibly stays alive. A teenage girl and her brother find themselves destined to battle this immortal clown, leading to a climactic battle that never ends. Have I mentioned that this movie is way way too long? Not my cup of brains; I still hate slashers.

Terror Overload  
Amateur, very clumsy and uninteresting anthology of shorts, most of them slasher shorts. The wrapper story is about a female hitch-hiker who hitches a ride with a trucker who tells her horror stories. One completely dull short is about a dinner date that turns out to be with a sadistic psycho. Another is about a horny trucker who finds two eager girls in a truck stop, but is all not as it seems. And the third is hicksploitation featuring a family of two sisters and one brother that run a whorehouse in their own home and who frequently have sex with each other. One day an egg appears and a monster breaks loose. All shorts feature boobs, splatter and sadism like they were connecting the dots. Bottom-of-the-barrel, completely uninspired trash.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)  
Not a remake but a sequel that takes place 50 years later, one that ignores all the others. A group of hipster z-generation kids with cellphones versus Leatherface? I was ready to side with Leatherface. Unfortunately it is mindless gore and killing and has nothing to do with the atmosphere of the original (what does?). This has a group of youngsters visit a deserted town to renovate it when they find a brutal terror from another generation. It's all running, vicious brutal kills, buckets of gore that rival a German splatter movie, and chainsaw battles, for the duration of the movie. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is not supposed to be a slasher movie.

See Extreme Movies.

I hate all slashers and am not a big fan of Eli Roth, so I'm not sure why I watched this one. But Roth can sure pile on the old-school energetic violence when he wants to, and the primary reason is that this is the third of the five fake trailers from the 2007 'Grindhouse' film that got converted into a real movie, only 15 years after. He skipped a couple of the most depraved details from the trailer but otherwise made it even more gruesome. The story is a very standard slasher plot, with a violent event, and a mysterious killer who comes back a year later after the event, killing one person after another in the most gruesome ways, with an ineffectual sheriff, leaving only some teenagers to fend for themselves. The sadism and gore is extreme, however, with a particularly sadistic cooking scene, decapitations, a trampoline massacre, and a splattery kill with a table-saw. I find that most slashers don't deserve their gore, being more about the film-maker's sadistic tastes rather than presenting anything realistic, since the killers usually overkill way beyond their motivations. The one good reason to watch this however, is the opening scene of ultra-violent chaos at a Black Friday sale, being a disturbing violent satire of America at its ugliest. If you want an idea for a truly disturbing satirical film, just watch the opening. Unfortunately, he expanded on the 2007 fake trailer instead of the opening scene.

Thirst, The  
A ridiculous vampire movie on many levels. First is the over-the-top cartoonish and crudely drawn characters, featuring one newly made vampire that goes through so many radical shifts in character, it's almost like a spoof on Interview with a Vampire. The plot involves a group of wild vampires that somehow get away with a sloppy massacre every night, that adopt into their family a girl dying of cancer and her boyfriend. The violence gets bizarre at times, featuring things like a lamp being forced into a girl's mouth, or fingers being pushed into a man's head. After much hullabaloo and partying with blood and violence, the movie suddenly wants to make it about an addiction, ripping off drug movies as they go cold turkey in ridiculously silly scenes of withdrawal. Accents are all over the place, and vampires wander from invulnerable to fragile on the writer's whim. And finally, the blood (not the gore) is so over-the-top, all you will remember of this messy movie are the fountains coming out of people's wounds and the actors constantly drenched in buckets of red stuff. Sometimes entertaining in a bad way, but generally awful.

To Your Last Death  
Badly animated splatter and torture horror-sci-fi film with a stupid idea that doesn't work. A psychotically dysfunctional family turns a family feud into a torture and killing spree, and a 'Game-master' turns it into a game. Only this means that everything can be changed or rewound if the 'game' isn't entertaining enough for the players. Which means that nothing really matters. The animation looks like old Flash-style awkwardly stiff drawn-puppets without natural movement. The violence is... cartoonish... and so are the characters.

3 Cuts  
Three amateur gory shorts from Brazil spliced together without any theme or anthology-style wrapper story. This is dull and instantly forgettable stuff that is only there so some guys can have fun with special effects and violent action scenes. The first involves a loser meeting up with a girl, ending with a completely gratuitous and pointless dismemberment. The second terribly acted short features a sado-masochist haunted by various demented dead people as he tortures, rapes and kills various people in graphic ways. The third is about a violent man who wakes up in a strange hospital after a forced drug overdose, encounters bloody-faced doctor-creatures, and goes on a killing spree.

See Extreme Sadism.

Trek, The  
Fatally flawed backwoods horror that had some potential. It's 35 minutes of slow setup and then 35 minutes of brutal survival as a couple on their honeymoon meet a couple of feral cave dwellers. The setup Intercut two elements, one good one bad: There's the pleasant trek into some mountains deep into the wild with a realistic new couple in love, featuring character development and above-average acting. And there's the poorly made mockumentary of an investigation into their background and disappearance with interviews of their family members and friends all of which feels fake and tiresomely long. When the clash erupts, the ordinary dude turns into a psychopath for no good reason, thus killing all of his character development, to the point where I wanted to cheer the backwoods freak, except that the freak turned out to be even nastier and gratuitously sadistic with graphic and brutal physical abuse that seemed shoehorned in just to please the torture-porn crowd. Somewhere, this movie really lost its way. Watch Deliverance again instead.

Hailed as a cheap, French Re-Animator clone by the maker of Ogroff but this is a mess. A mad doctor performs grotesque experiments in an insane asylum, keeping a truck-load of body parts (some of them moving) in the basement. After he is caught, his son goes to New York to continue his work with the business of brain transplants, stealing brains from famous people. Among other things, he performs surgery by chainsawing a man to pieces, but when the wife becomes displeased, he sews him back together and returns him to his wife on crutches. The plot falls apart, but so do people's heads, and soon there is out-of-control violence, an assistant who fries a brain for breakfast, and a group of dead bodies that come back for revenge with the help of a dismembered cat. Not as fun as it sounds but entertaining for so-bad-its-good genre fans.

Ubaldo Terzani Horror Show  
Albanesi's follow-up to Last House in the Woods which was an homage to grindhouse horror. This one is about a horror fan writing a horror movie with a horror writer celebrity in a cliched plot about the power of horror writers. The classic, in this genre, of course, is In the Mouth of Madness. Here it's just about some horny older man with delusions of grandeur. The young writer gets gory nightmares while collaborating with the experienced writer, or are they just nightmares? The body-part and eye-gouging splatter is left for the finale, but it's nothing to write home about.

Urban Flesh  
Some teenagers get bored and decide to become cannibals. They roam the city killing people at random, teasing and abusing them, then cut them open and gnaw on their intestines and unborn fetuses. The other half of the movie features a useless plot of a cop tracking them down slowly, and random scenes of the youth hanging out and having sex. Something like a tamer precursor to August Underground. Boring.

Urban Scumbags vs. Countryside Zombies  
Shoestring zombie comedy made on-the-fly by some German youths. A teenager is caught smoking pot and sent to a school in the country populated by strange teachers, bumpkins and a mad scientist. When some dropped biochemical waste turns people into zombies, the youths and teacher go on a killing spree. Most of the movie consists of silly cartoonish home-made comedy with only a couple of splatter scenes, the centerpiece being the classic head-slicing with a shovel, and various other tributes to horror movies. They obviously had fun making this, but this needed more work.

Violent Shit: The Movie  
Why anyone would want to resurrect this terrible German underground splatter movie series is beyond me. At least the last two went for camp and dumb humor, but this Italian sequel seems to take itself seriously and is all the worse for it. The plot... is a confusing mess. Karl the Butcher may or may not be back, or else his mask may be being used to turn random people into killers, except they were killers to begin with and the mask doesn't seem to enhance them in any way. There is interest in the occult by several characters, except it's never clear what these people are after or why they kill even their own or delve into cannibalism. Plot threads involving cops and German detectives are similarly left dangling. The acting is poor, the typical Italian dubbing job makes it worse, there is embarrassingly trashy softcore porn, and the digital cinematography is ugly and abuses close-ups. The extreme and chaotic splatter is delivered mostly in the climax with the expected over-the-top grisly machete butchery, buckets of blood, and genital chopping. Absolutely terrible.

Visceral: Between the Ropes of Madness  
This extreme piece of nastiness and disturbing gore from Chile ranks up there with movies like August Underground, Serbian Film and the likes, whose common ground is the desire to showcase sadistic creativity and a wide variety of the most extreme violence unimaginable. As with those films, however, character, story, realism and intelligence goes right out the window, since they only get in the way of the visual equivalent of a knife in the stomach being twisted and turned for 70 minutes. This movie uses a barrage of non-linear scenes and images to explore the mind of a boxer who, after losing a key fight, getting brain damage and being humiliated by his opponent, manager and mother, has lost his sanity and moral sense in a psychotic rampage of sadism and violence. He interacts with an imaginary and symbolic Dominatrix in a grotesque mask who escalates his viciousness by torturing him. In this world, neighbours and police don't exist, as he dispatches screaming, splattering and gurgling men and women in his house in ways that would disturb me even to describe them, after torturing them with bondage, in one case tying a woman's face and mouth to a rotting wormy corpse. Disembowelments result in buckets of grue, beatings cause faces and bodies to look mutated, sometimes reminiscent of Tsukamoto's Tokyo Gore, especially thanks to the close-up and dynamic camera work and intense sound effects, music and ambient noise. But, unlike Tsukamoto, no compelling psychological experience emerges from this barrage. It has style and is extremely effective in what it does, assuming all you are looking for is nastiness for its own sake. Otherwise, look elsewhere.

I hate 'found-footage' movies simply because, unless they are done absolutely right, they just come off as a headache-inducing and highly distracting gimmick. And there are so many things that can be done wrong, including the basic fact that you have to explain why they are constantly filming what is taking place, and if the movie is edited, then your mind starts wondering who edited the movie, and so on. On the one hand the gritty realism can add an intense dimension to the movie, on the other hand, the filming itself can all-too-easily take your mind off the movie. This one adds to the problems by stupidly making an anthology of found-footage with a found-footage framing story featuring people watching the short movies on VHS. It only takes a second to realize how idiotic this idea is and how brainless this genre has become. That aside, we get five shorts with barely any story in them: The first is the best of the lot and contains a most memorably otherworldly creepy girl that doesn't quite feel right, who is taken to a hotel room by a bunch of horny guys, with very unexpected, violent and creepy results. Then there's a forgettable slow-burner about a stalker with a shockingly splattery, gurgling throat-slitting scene. Another forgettable supernatural slasher in the woods follows, with over-the-top graphic disemboweling and slicing, and a killer-who-cannot-be-filmed. Then there's a very confused movie that shifts from paranormal web-cam footage to a stupid twist with a gory abortion. And finally, a party that turns out to be a supernatural ritual, where the directors figure that more is more, and throw 3 weird things a second at the camera in the hopes to wow the audience, without bothering with a story. Altogether, the only thing worthwhile is the 'I like you' girl, but this can't justify 2 empty hours of VHS-quality shaky-cam. Even the over-the-top splatter is limited to about 3 scenes.

V/H/S 2  
Evidently the phone-camera crowd found the first brainless anthology so exciting, they made a sequel with another four found-footage shorts and a stupid framing story. To explain the cameras this time, they came up with 'implanted eye-cam', a very dedicated documentary team that film even while dying, a persistent helmet-cam, and a 'dog-cam'. If the movie explains how the films were edited and spliced together even using different cameras, I missed it. There's a ripoff of 'The Eye' with a hi-tech eyeball that lets the owner see malicious ghosts. The most fun short is a zombie flick from the point of view of the zombie, as a cyclist is turned into a (gory) gut-munching hungry creature with pangs of humanity. Then there is another nonsensical super-gory short that takes the 'more-is-more' approach, where all hell breaks loose at a cult, and demons rip out of women, men explode, zombies walk the ceilings, men commit synchronized suicide, and much much more. And finally, there is an alien abduction family-movie from the point of view of a dog, as well as a splattery end to the wrapper story. As with the first, the shaky cam and video quality breakdowns only serve to distract from the lack of stories and the weakness of the scares that merely go for random weirdness and shocks. No wonder indie movie-makers are all over this genre. There is no art to it.

Video Violence 1 & 2    
Homemade gore movie about homemade gore movies. A couple moves into a city where people seem to have an obsession with gory horror movies. Some locals grab visitors and kill them in various creative ways to make their own homemade splatter movies. The newcomers try to figure out what's going on while more splatter video tapes keep appearing. The sequel features a splatter TV host show where people send in their work and guests are kill...oh you get the idea. Bad acting, slow pace, dull plot. The camp should have raised this to H.G. Lewis territory, but, unfortunately, it lacks the charm, and the abundant gore ranges from terribly fake to weak.

A movie as dumb and empty-headed as vlogs (video blogs). For thirty minutes, we have to plough through some ditzy vlogging by a air-headed blonde that thinks she's better than others because she makes fun of them. Then, out of nowhere, people she knows start getting murdered in gruesome ways with graphic and gory dismemberment and body-explosions posted on the internet. Then there's a twist which makes absolutely no sense. A waste of time.

We Are Monsters  
Bottom-of-the-barrel rape/revenge movie that is terrible even by its own standards. A visiting Australian woman is kidnapped, and promptly finds herself in the hands of two sick men who want to abuse, torture, rape and kill her, not necessarily in that order. The vast majority of the 75 minutes is taken up by their treatment and rape of the woman, except they talk a lot and change their character and intentions often, and do inexplicably stupid or inconsistent things, making what should have been an intensely abusive experience into one of confusion, until you don't care anymore. Then comes the revenge part, and that's when the torture and nasty splatter suddenly kick in. Except she is stupid as well, and doesn't seem to be into the really nasty and graphic torture at all, despite going on and on with it. Or perhaps it's the movie she can't wait to get out of.

Witch's Sabbath, The  
A group of stripper witches with boob jobs lure people into their basement for some decapitation and dismemberment as sacrifices to their god. Nudity, breasts, gore, heavy metal and Ron Jeremy should add up to at least a fun b-movie but instead we have lots of fake breasts, dull and scarce splatter, and annoying, dumb acting.

A son of a wrestler wants to become a wrestling star but is constantly humiliated at every turn. He loses his job just for talking to his boss's girl, his tryout ends in shame, his father humiliates him, etc. After an inspiring dream thanks to evangelists on TV, he snaps and turns demonic, massacring everyone that gets in his way. When his crush gets in trouble with ridiculous mobsters thanks to her obnoxious boyfriend, he goes after them as well, collecting body parts as trophies. The splatter becomes increasingly gruesome and over-the-top as it goes, ripping out jaws, heads and spines. Many wrestling stars make an appearance in this movie. Truth is, I was expecting more splatstick fun out of this one but it ended up trashy and unimaginative and strictly for fans of the Wrestle Mania brand of fake trashy camp, only with lots of splatter.

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings  
Why do the movie companies feel the need to kill every moderately good horror movie with endless sequels, then after it has been run to the ground, stomp on its head for a while and hope for spare change, then dismember it and sell it for parts? This time around, the by-now extremely goofy inbred cannibals (I've seen scarier makeup in Toxic Avenger) have set up shop in a deserted insane asylum for some reason, which has been abandoned for no good reason. And this time around, the cannon fodder are none other than...yup, oversexed teenagers! Really guys? This is what you fall back on? Besides the stupid writing, stupid hillbilly cannibals and stupid victims, it's now just about coming up with a new tool for the next splattery death scene. So here is the proper review for the movie: Dismemberment by pulley, decapitation by barbed wire, slow death by snowmobile, death by giant drill, and one teenager gets turned into a gourmet meal while still alive. There, I spoiled it all.

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines  
And the bad sequels just keep on coming. The mutant cannibal killers have been reduced to really silly looking gore-clowns and derive pleasure from coming up with various nasty ways to kill people, except that it's obviously the movie-makers deriving these pleasures since no effort has been made towards the plot and the movie has no wit. It's basically a copy-paste job from the various Assault on Precinct movies and their ilk, where a police station is under siege by a gang of criminals, except that here there are only three retarded mutant hillbillies that somehow outsmart and overrun a whole group of people and the town's law enforcement all to get back their viciously sadistic leader (Doug Bradley). I suppose they manage this because the writers made everyone really really stupid and nobody thinks of basic things like a disciplined defense, locking up the precinct, or using their prisoner for leverage. In any case, the murders are all gleefully splattery and nasty including deadly booby traps that slice people open or chopping people up with a huge lawn mower, but there is no entertainment here unless you're a sadist.

Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort  
Well, at least this one has a plot and tries to do something different with the series. Unfortunately, it wants to have its cake and eat it too, by splicing together the campy over-the-top gore, nudity and nasty deaths together with some serious horror, and these two elements just don't mix. This one is about the inbreeding family of cannibal mutants, and their attempts to bring in an estranged relative into their fold via the allure of an old family-owned hotel. Their seduction and transformation isn't that convincing, but it serves as horror as they try to introduce him in stages to their ways of hunting, killing, incestuous inbreeding and cannibalism, while his friends watch in horror and die. There are two or three over-the-top splattery murders involving barbed wire, explosive water-pressure and literal tearing apart of a girl, but the gore has been demoted here and replaced with lots of sex and the disturbing horrors of inbreeding demented families and mutants.

It's another home-made splatter movie in German, except this one seems to come from Switzerland and doesn't take itself seriously. I was all set to enjoy to some home-made zombie splatter from some kids having fun, when, disappointingly, it veered towards brain-numbing toilet humor involving a variety of bodily functions and fluids, including a new way to kill zombies, and then the usual bunch-of-kids-pretending-to-action-heroes-running-around-in-the-forest-fighting-zombies. There's a mad doctor with a re-animation formula raising an army of zombies which also includes his own dismembered hand, and some gung-ho law enforcement kiddies that love guns and action, and of course, a bunch of horny kids who just happen to be hanging out in the forest. Nothing exactly original, and neither is the splatter which is very run-of-the-mill. The only good thing about this one is the soundtrack with a lot of (probably stolen) classic metal.

Zombie Beach Party  
A mixture of idiotic wrestling attitudes and a silly zombie movie with a handful of splatter scenes. Wrestling heroes wearing masks go after a zombie king who is building a legion of the undead and experimenting with genetics. Mostly wrestling scenes with posing attitudes, and the occasional gore isn't anything worth looking for.

Zombie Chronicles, The  
Limp zombie horror movie consisting of two short stories within a wrapper story of a writer in search of a ghost story. She encounters a strange old drunk who tells her two stories of people in the woods who encounter the undead, one involving a drill-sergeant, his girl and a mysterious stalker, the other about campers and a mixed family of undead and alive. Everything is weak, slow, and cliched involving lots of running in the woods (the mainstay of low-budget movies), until the zombies catch up, then Joe Castro kicks in with two or three over-the-top but uninteresting splatter scenes of intestines and brains.

Zombie Farm  
Let's see... cannibal hillbillies, terrorists, FBI, a gun-crazy Gulf War vet, redneck humor, zombie infestation, annoying oversexed teenagers. All copy-and-paste elements thrown into this low-budget zombie movie and blended together. Unfortunately, there also no wit or creativity. The splatter kicks off in high gear in the beginning with plenty of gut-munching, slicings and head-smashing, but then it settles for a video game shootout for the second half with survivors vs. a town full of zombies. Oh, and the zombies start due to terrorists infecting the water. Very minimally entertaining as long as you don't expect much.

Zombie Fight Club  
This uninspired Taiwanese zombie movie is a mess, tries to do too many things at once and fails at all of them. There's a rip-off of The Raid with some cops stuck in a crime-ridden tower block during a zombie apocalypse, except the fights are obviously not even close to being as good, the enemy is mostly zombies, and the good guys aren't really good guys. There's the chaotic outbreak, except almost everyone behaves in completely illogical, melodramatic and nonsensical ways. There's the tone which veers from action, to comedy, to exploitation, to horror, and back. There's the last third of the movie which suddenly turns into post-apocalypse freak-show with lesbian dominatrices and a completely ridiculous gladiator-zombie arena. Evidently survival isn't enough to keep them busy. The splatter is mostly bad CGI effects where the constant sprays of blood never seem to land or stay on the fighter's clothes and bodies. There's even a silly splatter kill scene where the guy grabs a manual meat-grinder to fight a zombie with. Even the language spoken wanders randomly. In short, this is a movie made by people that obviously had no idea what they were doing.

The gore, unfortunately, consists mainly of buckets of splattering blood and one extremely inept face ripping scene. The tag-line says "Another 90 minutes of your life will be wasted by watching this movie" and although I found the over-the-top moronic scenes so-bad-they're-funny, they were far and few between. There is no plot, just cartoonish characters prancing in the woods battling zombies and a deranged doctor with a taste for gore, a child (acted by a guy) and his mother (acted by a guy) who chew on each other after being infected, lots of guns and silly bloody fights, a very slow pace, and a cool death metal performance.

Zombie Holocaust  
A dismal rip-off and nonsensical mix of Fulci's Zombie and the cannibal genre. Strange deaths and cannibalistic behaviour in New York lead a reporter and a few other adventurous people to an island with an eccentric doctor and ritualistic cannibalism. Extremely gory and very dumb.

Zombie Hunter  
Bad zombie movie despite the fact that it has Trejo, who doesn't stick around for long in any case. Instead of using Trejo for an anti-hero, we get a bland guy trying to act tough who is even given a dull narrative throughout the movie. The plot is a simple one about a group of survivors (including a stripper and a horny male teen), and one loner zombie hunter who is dead inside and only knows how to kill zombies, all of whom spend the whole movie fighting and running away from zombies. The zombies in this case vary a lot in terms of how they look and how they behave, from shuffling idiots to cunning killers, to one demented clown-zombie with a chainsaw, to giant alien-zombies (don't ask). The gore is plentiful, technically speaking, since they massacre zombies by the dozen in splattery ways, except that it is all horrible and uncreative CGI work with silly-looking purple blood.

Zombie Isle  
Another one of those retro-horror movies, except this one doesn't know what it's doing. It attempts to reproduce the simple zombie movies of the 70s with practical gore, and the setup is classic: A group of students explore a mysterious isolated island as part of their field-trip studies accompanied by a horny professor, and they find zombies and a mad scientist. Except the 'damaged film stock' effect is way overdone and is much more distracting and obnoxious than authentic, the sound is terribly mixed with a roaring soundtrack and muddy dialogue making the movie a chore to get through, and the overall approach is one of condescension rather than love for the genre, making the characters dumber than a doornail and campy in a really silly way. So it simply doesn't work. There is just enough gut-munching gore and splattery brain experiments to keep things gory, as well as a silly three-headed monster that comes out of nowhere. But it's a painful watch.

Zombiejäger, Die  
Swedish/German zombie movie that tries to be Bad Taste but ends up being an Uwe Boll movie without the budget or the camera-work. A trio of zombie killers is hired to clean up Gothenberg city from a zombie plague, led by a mysterious evil creature that is building himself a super-zombie-warrior. That's it for the plot. The movie is basically a bunch of youngsters trying to act cool in a shoot-em-up zombie computer game. There is one over-the-top splatter scene involving face skinning and the rest is dull non-stop bloody violence and zombie munching without any creativity or splatstick. Backed by horribly framed and shaky camera-work and a pounding soundtrack.

Zombi New Millennium  
Home-made Italian zombie movie by Alex Visani with a lot of night shots and grainy lighting. The only thing new this one brings to the zombie genre is that the zombie plague starts through a internet/computers/cellphones virus, which is a silly concept. Otherwise, this is cliched and very low-budget, with minimal setup, some conversion scenes as people grow sharp demonic teeth just by using their cellphone, then some chase scenes and lots of ropey intestines in only a couple of uneventful splatter scenes with some wormy homages to 80s horror.

Zombie: The Resurrection  
Another one of those lame 'teenagers playing zombies in the woods' flicks. 50 minutes (with 15 minutes of credits), no plot, just survivors trying to act tough vs. zombies. The gore, although plentiful, is as weak as it gets, consisting of mostly lots of blood, a handful of pieces of meat, and a woman half buried in the ground with blood and guts to replace her middle-section.

Terrible zombie anthology. Tiffany Shepis acts as herself in the useless wraparound featuring a warped fan who kidnaps her, forces her to watch the zombie flicks, and tortures her a bit. This one goes nowhere and isn't interesting. The first short is a standard, unimaginative, dull, badly acted, low-budget zombie flick about hippies, a camping trip, below-average levels of gore, and an outbreak of lake-zombies. The second is a truly terrible rip-off of Zombie Honeymoon with characters that make no sense, some moderately gory athlete's foot and a dismemberment. The last is the only original one and has most of the nasty gore and body fluids. It involves a zombie stripper out for revenge who finds herself at a bachelor party full of horny guys who are so drunk they eventually get over the fact that her body is rotting, falling apart and leaving behind all sorts of fluids... or do they? But even this one doesn't have enough to make this anthology worthwhile.

Zombie Toxin
See Extreme Movies.

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